Fear You REALLY Can't Forget

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Group VI: Video Game
Kamio-Kirihara-Shinji-Hiyoshi

Kamio met with his group in the living room of his house. Since he had decided that third years were lame, he had only invited second years to help make his commercial. Kirihara, Shinji, and Hiyoshi were his new groupies.

"So what now?" asked Hiyoshi, feeling that someone should break the awkward silence.

"Well, I haven't got it too bad," Kamio admitted. "It shouldn't be hard to come up with an advertisement for a video game."

"What game is it?" Shinji asked.

"Dunno," Kamio frowned at the title. "Resident Evil 37: Fear You Really, Really Can't Forget. (1) Never heard of it."

"Oh, I played the first three Resident Evils," said Kirihara. "I didn't know that they were still making them, though."

"Looks like some sort of horror game," said Hiyoshi.

"Really? What tipped you off? Was it the title or the fact that the cover has pictures of people with chainsaws on it?" Kirihara asked sarcastically.

"Shut up," Hiyoshi blushed. "I will Gekokujou your ass."

"Usually video game commercials just show a few scenes from the game and show how fun it is to play." Kamio interrupted. "We could just film one of us playing and then be like, 'wow, that was so fun.'"

"Fair idea," Shinji conceded. "But we don't really know anything about this game."

There was a pause.

"One of us should try it out," Kamio said finally. "Just play for an hour or so to get the feel of the game, and then once we know its features, we can easily advertise those."

"That works," said Shinij. "But I don't want to play it. It looks gay."

"I don't want to play either," said Hiyoshi. "I don't like fears you can't forget. I like to forget my fears. I'm still having nightmares about The Ring."

"Are you fucking kidding?" Kirihara said. "That movie came out like five years ago!"

"It still creeps me out...." Said Hiyoshi, suddenly looking nervous and shooting shifty glances at the television on the other side of the room.

"You are so unbelievably lame!" Kamio said in disgust. "Screw it; I'll try out the game."

He stood up and tore the plastic wrapping off the game and began to hook up his Wii system.

Hiyoshi ran out of the room in terror and Shinji muttered something about getting a glass of water and never came back.

So Kamio rolled his eyes and pressed 'start' while Kirihara happily took a seat beside him. "If you get scared, just tell me and I'll take over." Kirihara said happily, nestling into the seat with a bag of potato chips. "This should be fun!"

"Not really," said Kamio. "I'm stopping as soon as I think I have a grasp of the game's features..."

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Group VII: Bra
Marui-Niou-Yagyuu-Jackal

Marui, Niou and Yagyuu sat around in a circle. In the center of the circle was a white bra with pale yellow rose blossoms on it. They were all staring at it.

"I have no idea what to do," said Marui. "It was bad enough going into that shop and buying this, but now I don't even know what to do with it."

"Well, what do girls look for in a bra?" Jackal asked.

"I have no idea! I'm a guy!" Marui shouted.

"Maybe we should watch Victoria's Secret commercials to get an idea. I have some taped." said Yagyuu, sliding towards the t.v. set.

"No!" Marui shouted, leaping up and grabbing him, forcing him to sit down again. "Victoria's Secret just shows hot girls in lingerie! Not only is that NOT an option for my commercial, but I don't want you getting all distracted!"

"Wait a minute!" Niou suddenly sat up. "There's not going to be any hot girls in lingerie in your commercial?"

"Obviously not." Said Marui.

"Then what the hell am I doing here?!" he asked, more himself than anyone else. "Why am I helping you?"

"Because...you're my friend?" Marui asked sarcastically. "And you can't back out now!"

"How exactly do you plan on creating a commercial for a bra without a girl involved?" Jackal asked calmly.

There was silence as Marui fiddled with a hole in his sock and said nothing.

"You're kidding," said Yagyuu. "You really had no plans for inviting any girls? Were you planning on modeling the bra yourself?"

"I wasn't going to have anyone model it," Marui mumbled. "I thought I could just…talk about why it's good."

"And do you know why it's good?"

"I already said I don't! I don't know what makes a good bra!"

"Well, sexiness is obviously important." Said Yagyuu. "It's probably the most important thing."

They all agreed on that point.

"But aside from that, what do girls look for in bras?" Niou wondered aloud.

"No matter how you spin it, it's obvious that we need girls for this commercial," Yagyuu said flatly. "Having a girl here will not only provide us with the answers to all these questions, but it will also eliminate the need for any cross-dressing on our part, which I think is a very huge perk."

"He's right." Niou sighed. "Marui.....you are either very lucky or very unlucky. You're going to need to find a girl and convince her to be a part of this commercial."

"I don't know any girls!" Marui whined.

"What a loser," they laughed.

"You're my teammates, who do you know?" Marui asked. Then he was suddenly stricken by inspiration. "Wait a minute!" He looked at Yagyuu and Niou excitedly. "You both have sisters, don't you? We can ask them!"

Niou and Yagyuu exchanged skeptical looks.

"My sister's in college," said Niou. "I'm not calling her up to ask her what girls like in a bra."

"Well, what about your sister, Yagyuu?" Marui said desperately, turning to the boy with glasses.

"She's six," said Yagyuu.

"And I'm an only child," said Jackal before Marui could ask.

"Figures." Said Marui. "I wouldn't want to repeat a mistake like you, either."

"Bastard!" Jackal got up and left.

"Guys, what do we do?" Marui gripped his hair. "I can't believe what losers we are, we seriously don't know any girls. The only ones I can even think of off the top of my head are Fuji's older sister and that one chick from Fudomine!"

"We could probably get in contact with one of them," Niou said sagely. "We'd just have to ask one of the Fuji brothers for the phone number, or else get Ann's info from someone from Fudomine. I bet Kamio knows her number, they're like married or something."

"So it's between approaching Fuji or Kamio?" Marui clarified.

A pause.

"Kamio." they all said in unison.

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Group VIII: Cologne
Jirou-Atobe-Oshitari

"Would you like coffee, tea, champagne, juice, soda, water, or milk?"

Atobe waved away the butler with a careless gesture of his hand. "We have enough for now, you may return to your station."

The butler bowed and retreated, walking backwards.

Atobe buttered himself a crumpet before speaking to his two guests.

"Would you like to go swimming after this?"

"Sounds like a fine idea," said Oshitari.

Jirou nodded. "It'll wake me up. But…"

"But what?" Atobe asked, narrowing his eyes.

"When are we going to start working on the commercial?" Jirou asked in a small voice.

Jirou wasn't sure if he was glad or not that he had ended up in a group with Atobe and Oshitari to make the commercial. He knew that Atobe had more than enough resources to make their commercial the best out of everyone's, but on the other hand, he was also arrogant and lazy, meaning that he had not taken the slightest step to get started on the advertisement, although it was due the day after tomorrow. Oshitari was no more motivated.

"Getting nervous, are we?" Atobe raised his eyebrows. "I told you I would help you, didn't I? Do you think that I'm just planning on swimming and wasting my time without getting work done?"

"Uh...." In truth, that was exactly what Jirou thought, but he figured that it wasn't a good idea to say that out loud.

Atobe rolled his eyes, guessing his thoughts. "Relax," he said. "I've already got it all figured out for you. They should be arriving any moment now."

"…"

"…Who should be arriving?" Jirou asked nervously.

"Your reinforcements for your cologne commercial." Said Oshitari. "Atobe has been on the job since day one."

"What did you do?" Jirou asked, confused.

The doorbell rang.

"I'll get that," said Oshitari, standing up immediately and leaving the room.

"It just so happens that my father is friends with the corporate CEO of the company that made the cologne you're advertising." Atobe explained to Jirou. "I've ordered some resources to help you with the commercial."

"Resources…?" Jirou asked nervously.

Oshitari reappeared in the room. "They say that they need you to sign for it," he informed Atobe in a bored voice. "Something about international policy…"

Atobe rolled his eyes and got up after tossing his napkin on the table. Jirou followed him to the front door. His jaw dropped.

In Atobe's foyer area was an enormous box, most likely filled with clothes and props. But behind that stood a marvelous, shining, slate-colored Lamborghini, and next to that there were three tall, slender, exotic looking women, wearing sunglasses and checking out the area.

"Sign here for importing foreign models," the delivery man instructed. Atobe signed on the line.

"And have a nice day," he said, tipping his hat and leaving.

"Is this enough for your commercial?" Atobe asked a shocked Jirou. "I was considering a helicopter, but in the end I decided on the car. I ordered a few Emporio Armani suits for you that you can wear during the commercial. Then you can drive onto the stage in the Lamborghini and get out, posing with Giselle, Annalise, and Maya here. I think that should convince everyone that this cologne is worth buying."

"Was all this…necessary?" Jirou choked out.

"You obviously know nothing of commercial-making," said Atobe silkily. "The point is that you're supposed to come off as the most sexy, successful, rich bastard there is. Obviously, the ideal choice for a person to play the lead in this commercial would have been me, but since you're the group leader, you're obliged to play the lead role. And anyway, I got tickets to Disneyworld for the day that this is due, so I won't even be here for the presentation."

"You're—leaving?" Jirou asked in surprise.

"Yes. But Oshitari will be here," he said carelessly. "He'll applaud you at the presentation. All you have to do is dress up in these clothes I bought and enter the scene in this car and then walk with these women and then hold out the cologne. Everyone will love it."

"I guess…" said Jirou, a little uncertainly.

"Good. Right this way, ladies." Atobe offered out both his arms to the women and led them into the dining hall.

Jirou and Oshitari watched them go.

"This is either going to be the most awesome commercial in existence or the most epic failure of the twenty first century," Oshitari said, reading Jirou's mind.

Jirou gulped and the two followed Atobe back into the dining hall where the models had taken seats and Atobe was providing them with champagne. Oshitari took a seat right between them while Jirou hung back nervously.

"Um, Atobe?" Jirou said in a small voice. "This still doesn't really solve the problem of what I'm supposed to say in the commercial."

"Still complaining?" Atobe looked exasperated. "What more can I possibly do for you at this point?"

"Help me…write a script?" Jirou tried.

"Ore—I have no time for that," said Atobe impatiently. "Get some minion of the other teams to write the script for you."

Jirou gasped. "But that's cheating!"

Oshitari raised an eyebrow. "Do you really care?"

"Nah," said Jirou, realizing this fact himself for the first time. "But who should I ask?"

"The best writer. Obviously." Said Atobe, now providing the women with toast.

"And who's that?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you? Who did best in the poetry challenge?"

"Kabaji," said Jirou.

"Indeed," said Atobe. "But something tells me that his particular talents wouldn't be very well suited for script-writing. You'll have to ask the second-best man."

"Kamio?" Jirou remembered.

Atobe nodded. "We'll go see him tomorrow and force him to write the script for us. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to show these women how to work the shower." He grinned knowingly.

"I'll help!" Oshitari shouted, jumping up to follow Atobe. The two pranced out of the room.

Jirou considered worrying about the commercial a little more, but then he realized that he didn't really care, so he went to sleep on the dining table instead.

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A/N:

(1) Resident Evil is a horror/adventure game. There's about five out right now; the advertisement for the fifth one always says: Resident Evil 5: Fear You Can't Forget. Hah.

Up Next: everyone bombards Kamio! :D