A/N: Woah I really managed to write already 10 Chapters O.o Hope you still like the story.
"bla" normal talking
´bla´ OC thinking
´bla´ OC Inner
Chapter 10: Shattered dreams
OC 11 years old, Itachi 17 years old
1 week before the graduation, Friday
After training how to throw kunai and shuriken and extensive stamina training showing us the basic use of chakra and the basic katas we finally got to the jutsus we need for the genin graduation.
But something was strange with me. I think my first try at the bushin jutsu was like Narutos, but it wasn´t getting better and my henge was none existence it was simply frustrating after working so hard and somehow mastered the throwing of the weapons (with a lot of training with Itachi and Sasuke) and got even my stamina up (morning running with Kiba, Shino and Naruto) I can´t get this right somehow.
Some from my class caught on that and began bulling me calling me useless when they are sure my friends aren´t there.
"Yuuki come to the front please and show us a bushin" the teacher called from the front.
´Urg why me?´
I stood up and went in front of the others hearing light giggling and laughter from some of the class.
´Show them this time´
´Oky I will use as much as I can´
I tapped into my chakra while forming the seals I pulled more of it then before leaving just a thin bit left.
"Bushin no jutsu"
-poff- a useless gibberish bushin appeared just to be dispelled two seconds later.
´I really can´t...do...it´
´Hey what is going on?´
´I feel hot, it burns, It hurts´
´Ohy!´
I collapsed to the ground gripping my heart that beat fast in my chest. I was burning. A scream came loose from me.
"Yuuki!" I heard Shika shout with fear in his voice for a second before the pain became unbearable and sweet darkness welcomed me.
3rd POV
"Will she be alright?" Saeki was beyond worried now. They got a call from the academy that Yuuki collapsed and was bought into the hospital, they didn´t know what happened.
"She is alright and will wake up soon, but...she will never be a ninja"
"What do you mean?" Morion perked up even getting slightly angry.
"She doesn´t have enough chakra to even do the basics, something is hindering her"
"What is this something?"
"We don´t know" the doctor now looked very carefully at the parents.
"You don´t know!? This is my little daughter you are talking about you should better know" Morion gripped the doctor by his collar and shaking him slightly, but he wasn´t the one striking fear into the poor guy, it was Saeki giving him a glare first hand out of the hell he will visit when not answering to her liking.
"W-We n-never saw some-thing like th-that, even out head medic don´t know what to do, the only possible one would be Tsunade-hime, b-but she isn´t here" Morion was pulled to the side and Saeki took his place she just stood there.
"Then please call her here!" She demanded with an ice cold voice.
"W-W-We can´t, I´m sorry"
A nurse saved the doctor from a cruel death by telling them that Yuuki was awake now and they could come in.
3rd POV End
I woke up in the hospital.
´I never liked them´
´Do you remember what happened´
´I created a bushin with a bit more chakra, it didn´t work...then pain and Shika calling me´
´You collapsed´
´Explains why I´m in the hospital´
"Yuuki?"
"Mom?" I rasped my throat felt like sandpaper.
"Ah here come I help you to sit up a bit"
´I don´t really feel my body´
´They drugged you slightly´
´Ugh´
I was now sitting up a bit leaning on my pillows and mother gave me a glass of water, that I drank slowly.
"Yuuki" father began with a sad tone and I knew something was wrong right in this moment.
"We talked with the doctor...he said...he said you never can be a ninja until they find out what is using your chakra up...and the only one doing that is Tsunade"
"Huh!?" I let my glass slip out of my hands, shattering on the floor in thousand little pieces.
I was clearly in shock.
"It is alright Yuuki-chan you can do something else" mother tried to consult me.
´AND WHAT!?´
´...useless...´
I felt my hear shatter like the glass and felt them craving into my flesh feeling the pain clear as a day.
"Your mother is right and we will support you whatever you want to do" father said trying to smile and cheer me up.
"I-I want to be alone...please" I hang my head low grapping the blanked tightly in my fists.
"Yuuki" mother touched my shoulder but I shrugged it away.
"Please" I rasped near tears.
"They will let you out tomorrow, we will gather you then" I only nodded at that waiting until they leave to break down.
´Fate can be cruel´
I was crying but not much sound left my mouth, everything around me crumbled.
´I only wanted to stand beside them...´ Do you know this feeling just to want one thing the first time in your live working hard to get it just fate spitting you in the face by snatching it away.
´Hey Tsunade will come back, she could look at that and even solve it´
´That would be next year after the Chunin exam...by then I would already be left behind´
´True but you could work hard and reach them again´
´I lost my will for now´
´But-´
´I´m useless or better hopeless´ My heart was twisting thinking about all the heartbreak I had over such things.
´What can I do now? Nothing! Doing their missions and training they will forget me!´
´You can´t be sure of that´
´It was always so and you now it...when I leave the sight of the people I care for they will forget me´
´...´
My throat tightens painfully and my cheeks and eyes feel hot I lifted my head to look outside with all my pain clear to see in my eyes, my gaze meet that of a white haired ANBU outside my window. I looked through him not really seeing him there.
´Kakashi, sure Hiruzen sent him to look at my situation...miserable situation...what I´m worth in this world?´
´Stop that you already questioned that in the other world´
´Even there I was useless why should fate change that...they will forget me over their adventure and me...what can I do?...I wouldn´t be a good nurse beside not liking to see gruesome wounds or disease I really can´t take the attitude from some...beside that there is no meaningful job to help them...´
´You forget there are a bit more jobs than before in our old world´
´You mean?´
´You maybe not the best in body's strength but by no mean you are dump´
´I always lose to Shika´
´Because you are bored and don´t like the game really but we both know that you could give him a run for his money when you truly would try...and for him not noticing that...there is for example the cryptology, coding and decoding or the tacticians making plans for every situation possible you don´t need to be a ninja for them but you can do there something to help the others´
´Aren´t I too young?´
´I think a talk with Hiruzen will be in order for that´
´Is Kakashi still there?´
´Nope he fled by the first sight of your teary face´
´Good´
´HUH!?´
´He will tell Hiruzen and he will soon be here...can´t having me break down´
´...was this all an act?´
´For sure not...it only plays somehow in our hand´
´Fate for sure is female by all of its mood swings´
´We will never know...but it is a good theory´
I calmed down really slowly leaning back and slept for a while, crying exhausted one really fast.
When I next woke up it was dark outside.
"Ah I didn´t want to wake you" Hiruzens voice was heard from the window.
"Hokage-sama" I bowed my head to him but he only waved his hand.
"I don´t like formalities from kids"
I nodded in understanding.
"I read the report of the doctors...It really doesn´t look good" he comment still standing at the window.
"I know" it really stung to admit this fact.
"Kakashi told me you were near breaking, but I see you calm...why?" He now turned to me mustering me.
"I have a little bit protection against such...happenings...you know...I don´t want to lose my friends...but maybe that will be inevitable...but I want to help them from another place. What are the conditions to get to the cryptologic or tacticians?" I questioned him with as much cool and calm as I could muster.
Hiruzen took a long breath from his pipe looking out of the windows.
´Isn´t smoking forbidden in the hospital?´
´He is the Hokage´
´Seems to have its perks´
"You won´t be able to join one of them before you are 16" he informed me with a grave face.
"I hear a 'but' "
"I will test you till then and give you little jobs from these departments to see if you are cable of joining either one" He sighted a bit at that, he knows about my situation having an older mind.
"You sure will do this for me?"
"Nobody beside me will know of this so better search for another job until you are 16" He concluded.
"Thank you Hiruzen" I bowed my head.
"Don´t thank me too early" I just grinned at his back when he disappeared from my room.
´I can do this´
´Good that you cheered up...but what will we do until we are 16?´
´Working as a cook in a café and beside that...begin the personal Chef for my friends so they won´t forget me...I will make their bentos for their missions for a good while the won´t get really extended missions´
´Sounds like a plan...´
´I always wanted to learn to be a great chef...so we will ask Akamich-san to teach us´
A small smile came to my face and my inner demon crawled back in its corner.
´You are weakened I hope nothing happened to let it act up again´
´Better not hope too much´
´Better cheer up again tomorrow they will fetch you´
´Hay hay so better I sleep now´
Morning
"Yuuki-chan how are you?" Mother asked me.
"Alright I got a bit to think about all this and had made some decisions but we can talk about that at home I told her.
"That sounds great little one" father grinned at me happy that I found my cheer again.
´Maybe they are even happy about this´
´Why?´
´They won´t lose you through a mission or something like that´
´True´
Walking home I thought of how I will explain them what I wanted to do, also to think of how to ask Akimichi-san to teach me how to cook.
"So little one what do you want to do now?" We were sitting now drinking some tea.
"I want to be a chef or baker in a café and for that I wanted to ask Akimichi-san to teach me"
"Oh! That sounds soo nice and you always liked to cook" mother had now a lot of happy sparkles in her eyes beginning to rant about how nice this idea is and it would be so great when Akimichi-san would do that.
"We talked with your teacher and arranged that you will get your graduation but will not be listed as a genin. Sadly you won´t be practice in the exam but you can go and watch your friends" father explained to me.
´We will watch for sure´
The rest of the day I rested.
Today was Sunday so I went as usual to Shika for our regular game of shogi, the game I always lose because I´m to bored and Shika didn´t take me seriously on.
"Ah Yuuki-chan, Shika is already waiting on the porch by the garden" Yoshino greeted me with her usual smile.
"Thank you Yoshino-san" I slipped inside and went for the garden.
´Should we show him that we can play that game serious and train to beat Shikaku?´
´I´m not sure If we just should let them think that I have no strategic know-how just to take them then by surprise´
´A good plan but they are also clever and could adjust to the sudden change in gameplay´
´Hmmmm...good point there I could pretty fast lose my surprise moment´
´See, come girl show it to them and beat them fair, we didn´t play strategic games for nothing´
´Ah yes chess, shogi, go, and various other games like fire emblem or civil war II´
´Better put our knowledge finally in use so this won´t get so boring to play anymore´
´But...then the whole fun will be cut short and no time to tease him...´
´...good point, but we should show him a good game maybe we will lose even then so we wouldn't break our losing string´
´Ok but when this go to hell it was your idea´
´Sure sure when it makes you happy´
´It will´
I found Shika sitting beside a set up shogi board as always ready to play.
"Shika!" a turn, a swirl and I missed him by a short inch landing face first on the ground.
"Your so mean" I said muffled rubbing my hurting nose.
"And you are troublesome, stand up I want to have it done already so we can do other things" like always he said this to rile me up.
I stood up dusting my pants and sat across form him on the shogi board ready to show him another side of me.
And he began his move. I first played my first moves like usually.
´He will never see what hit him´
´Some dump or senseless moves can have a purpose, something that he should learn´
I put down my last piece for my traps and Shika moved into my hand, but before I let the traps snap I wanted something confirmed.
"Ne Shika remember your promise?" I asked him while he looked at the board already planning his win.
"Which one?" He asked absent.
"The one when I should magically win for once" I reminded him.
"Ah, yes you wanted me to confess that I like you" He became a little bit wary.
"Good" I grinned.
He looked puzzled at me and I made my next move this time a serious on catching him off guard in my spider web of traps. He looked at the board and the trap that sprung into place then up to me giving him a dead serious look and again on the board repeating this a few times.
´You totally throw him off he has at the moment only the "WHAT?" question in mind for sure´
´Let us see what he has in store for us´
It looked like he got his cool back looking bored onto the board and made his next move thinking maybe that was a coincident.
I calculated my next moves and set several plans into action or as backups.
We played little longer than usual and after a while Shikaku and Yoshino came to look, because normally at this time they will hear some laughter and playing or training noises but it was too silent so they came to look if everything is alright.
Shikamaru still stared at the board disbelieving what happened.
´That would be now 15 min.´
I managed it to win in only 15 moves the match was fast over like always only think different, he lost this time royally.
´You were merciless´
´I wanted a challenge´
´You crushed him´
´You think?´
´Look at his face´
Eyes wide and unblinking were staring and roaming the board with an unbelieving expression.
"What is the matter son?" Shikaku came up behind him and looked down on the board, and looked and stared and the carefully nudged his son.
"Never underestimate your opponent" that comment seemed to get Shika out of his thoughts.
"I didn´t" he murmured still thinking about where he went wrong.
"Shika, your promise" I smiled sweetly at him and he went bright red.
"Promise?" Shikaku lifted a brow trying to play the "what are your talking about?" card while fighting the blush. I just gave him a deadpan stare.
"I like you Yuuki, done happy?" He looked to the side with red ears.
"Yes" I grinned.
"Awwww Shika you and Yuuki are together?"
"No!" Shika denied then huffed and looked angrily at me giving me the blame.
"We know each other since we are 1 and played since we were 3...10 years and you never won until now...why?"
´Clever boy´
"It wasn´t fun for me to win and you never took me serious at the beginning so I decided to play along and learn your habits" I explained nonchalant.
"Why now?"
"Call me selfish Shika...I just wanted to hear it..."
"It has to do with that what happened in the academy" He concluded.
´He catches up fast´
"Sharp as ever, yes...I won´t be able to graduate with all of you, I will get my graduation but I will not become a genin like you...I don´t have enough Chakra for being even an genin"
It was still a sore spot for me so I looked at the board with the sadness about that clear on my face.
"Why?" This time Shikaku asked.
"They don´t know only Tsunade could know and maybe heal it...but they said the chance isn´t very high"
Yoshino gasped, Shikaku closed his eyes thinking and Shikamaru got his disbelieving look from earlier back only added that his moth opened and closed like a fish.
"There must be a way" Shika thought out loud staring now at the shogi board and I could see his mind running a mile and working on a solution.
´It is really sweet that he wants you to remain with them´
"What do you do now?" Shikaku as fast thinking as always.
"I will learn from Akimichi-san how to cook and will take later a job as a chef" I explained my plan letting out my deal with the Hokage which included the tacticians, Shikakus subordinates.
Shikamaru heard our exchange and stared at me with sadness in his eyes.
"There is no other way?"
"Not when I want to die early" a half lie, there are other jobs and Tsunade hasn´t yet checked me.
He hangs his head depressed and Yoshino pulled her husband away leaving us alone.
"But Shika, we will always be friends right?" I smiled at him remember him on that what he said the other time.
"We will always be friends Yuu, but are you really ok with this?"
´He isn´t the only one learning over the years...he can read us like a book´
´He isn´t the only one who can do that´
´?´
´Remember the morning in the hospital before our parents came to fetch us?´
Flashback
Saturday morning
I woke up blinked the sleep out of my eyes and looked out of the window. Clear sky, bright sun birds chirping a perfect morning actually but not for me the events from the day before came back weighting down on me. I ran my hand through my hair and slowly sat up.
´Huh?´
´What is it?´
´There lies something on out nightstand´
I turned my head a bit more and my gaze fell on a little enveloper.
´From whom is this?´
´I don´t know open it´
I took it in my hands and opened it curiously and took out a slip of paper.
´Oh...´
´I said you are something more as a simple friend for him´
It was from Itachi.
Yuuki I heard from Sasuke and the doctors what happened. Don´t be too depressed and remember that I will always be there for you my little light.
There was no signature but it wasn´t needed I knew his neat handwriting already.
´He really cares for you, that is so sweet´
´But how did he know that I would be too depressed and need to hear such word at the moment?´
´Like most of your friends you know him from early on and to be true to yourself your emotions can be easily be read from your eyes and face´
Flashback End
"I´m fine" but I only got a doubtful gaze from him for this standard answer what nobody believes one when something had happened.
"You are always so honest"
"….I know, but-"
"Just say how you truly feel about that" He interrupted me clearly a bit angry about my lie.
I fell silent then I meet his gaze showing him how all this pained me and I felt again this feeling like as my chest were crushed tightly every second stronger the more I thought of all this.
"I can´t put it in words how I feel like...devastated doesn't even begin to describe this Shika"
Shikamaru moved the board out the way and skid nearer and then embraced me pulling me into his chest.
"I will find a way Yuu and when I have to dig this Tsunade out and bribe her into healing you, you will become a ninja"
"I´m not even sure If I´m really cut out to be one" I whispered in his chest fighting my tears and the lump in my throat.
"Don´t give up, believe in me when you don´t believe in yourself. I will make you to the best konochi Konoha ever saw."
´Sweet how he tries to cheer you up´
´But I really don´t have much hope of us becoming a ninja, better tell him now that so he doesn´t get his hope shattered like mine´
"Shika, I really don´t have much hope for me becoming a ninja, but I will find other ways to be of use for the village" He looked down to me and I saw a flicker of unknown emotions going through his eyes.
"You don´t need to be useful or so you have us, your friends and we will always be there for you like you are for us."
Somehow I had the need to laugh, startling him with that but he joined me and I felt his hold tighten a bit on me bevor he ruffled my hair.
"I really like you Yuu"
"Enough to be my guinea pig for my cooking?"
"Sure as long as I don´t get food poison" he gave me a sweet grin.
"Then I better make sure to train hard the best would be going now to Akimichi-san and ask her" I stood up.
"You are serious about that" he sobered up having again a serious look on his face.
"I´m, so see you next time" I gave him a hug for goodbye and was on my way to Chojis mother.
I stood a bit nervous at the door of Chojis home waiting for the door to open.
"Yuu-chan?" Choji was the one getting the door.
"Ah, Choji-"
"Are you alright? What did the doctors say? Did you got enough to eat there? I know this hospital food is horrible" He bombarded me with questions and I hold my hands up to stop him.
"Choji, I´m alright, I got enough to eat and the food wasn´t that bad...but bland. Is your mother home?"
"My mother? Why?"
"I wanted to ask her something"
"Sure come in she is in the kitchen"
"Thank you Cho" I gave him a nervous smile and went for the kitchen where his mother greeted me like him, bombarding me with questions.
"Akimichi-san, I´m fine really but I wanted to ask for favour"
"Whatever you want Yuuki" she chirped.
"Can you teach me to bake and cook?" She looked surprised clearly not awaited that but then a dazzling smile stretched over her face and she began to glow out of happiness.
"Sure my dear I will teach you everything I know"
´Danger´
´Why do you always warn me too late?´
Akamichi-san already pulled me in a crushing hug already listing what we could do and how fun that will be, truth be told it really sound fun
´More fun?´
´Strange humour´
´And yours is I darker than black sometimes´
´Everyone has a dark side´
´To think of it you like to cook, you can sew and knit, you like washing dishes and even ironing...you are like a housewife´
´Oh never thought of that I learned it from my former mother because I wanted to have my own house so I also needed to know of these things´
Choji and his father entered the kitchen hearing the tumult.
"What happened" Chouza asked his wife who still hold me in her clutches, but let me go to hug her husband.
"Yuuki-chan asked me to become my apprentice, she want me to teach her baking and cooking isn´t this great dear?"
Chouza gave me a short once over surely heard of my trip to the hospital but then gave me a smile.
"That is great"
"That means I will see you more often? Can I try your food?" Choji even stopped to eat to ask me this with so much hope of more free food.
"I already promised that Shika, but I will try to make enough so you can try too"
"Great!"
´When will you tell them?´
´Don´t know it was hard enough to tell Shika´
´You should before they graduate´
´But won´t that depress them? They need to be top shape for the exam maybe after that?´
´They will see that you aren´t there that could worry them and distract them´
´Also true´
´Tell them before´
´Tomorrow´
I bowed a last time to Akimichi-san and thanked her for taking me under her wing.
I know it is a bit harsh for not making her a ninja but she will know some basics, I just didn´t want any mary-sue, just a plain girl like us with nothing too special, hope you can understand my reasons :D
Thank you for reading and please leave some reviews ^-^ they are always welcome.