Hello again! I am sooo sorry that it took me nearly two weeks to upload this. I had to rewrite this chapter three times because I didn't like it but now here it is!

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Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.

Chapter 10 – Pride, love and sadness

„Sammy you were awesome! Did you see how you cut that demons head off? I mean, dude, I would have never expect something that brutal from you little brother."

Sam nodded and smiled. He was still together with Dean in the garden but now they were lying on two canvas chairs and did moonlight bathing, so to speak.

For the last two hours they were fighting against the demons that seemed to come from everywhere. At first Sam had been very carefully but after one of the demons cut his arms open from his elbow to his shoulder he notices that they wouldn't be careful with him. So why should he handle them carefully?

They didn't kill as many demons as they would have liked to. Most of them flee when they saw how the two Winchesters were about to kill them. Sam knew that they would come back. Once they found a new body they were going to come back. At least for one night they could scare them.

On the grass some bodies were lying; Sam tried not to think about them. Those people were innocents. They did nothing wrong. They had only bad luck because the demons had chosen them as their bodies. They had been possessed and they had been killed because of that. Sam had tried to not to kill most of the people but sometimes he didn't have another choice if he wanted to safe his life. Or even more important, his brother's life.

Dean had told him before that he needed to protect himself and while he was fighting he should try not to think about the innocent people. While he was fighting he mastered that task very well but now the adrenaline was gone and he couldn't stop thinking about their families.

On the other hand he was so happy that he did a good job. He wanted to prove Dean and his dad that he could hunt just as well as them. He wanted to prove that he wasn't useless.

He looked at his brother who had his eyes closed and a smile on his face. Sam remembered all those years ago that Dean had done the same. Every time when Dean came back from a hunt he sat down with a beer in his hand and smiled. Sam had once asked him why he was smiling although he was very exhausted and Dean had said that that's the feeling of knowing that you did something good, that you saved a few people.

Sam had never understood this. Dean had obviously been totally exhausted, sometimes even hurt and he had seen things other people couldn't even imagine, and still he was sitting there and smiled. Now Sam could understand him a little bit better. There was a huge mix of feelings inside of him.

There was pride, fear and horror about what he had just done, a little bit of happiness and a very small part was sad about the man who had just died. Sam knew that the hunt would change him but now after his first hard fight with demons he knew that the old Sam from Stanford was dead. He always wanted to be respected from his father and to prove that he was just as good as him but for a long time now he wasn't trying desperately to get his attention because of hunting. He went to Stanford to prove that he could live his own life. He always knew that he was smart and he wanted to do something with that. He didn't want to waste it.
At first he had been very carefully about the way he acted around other people and had been very self-confident. But when he met Jess, he changed. He smiled way more than before; he shows what he was able to do in his classes. He got a lot of friends and for the first time in his entire life he felt like he belonged to someone. Jess had showed him a different way of life. She was his sun and when she died... well, his sun died as well. He was starting to turn into somebody else again. But he wasn't going to be like the young Sam who was abandoned by his father, he wasn't going to stay the popular Sam in college. He was going to be somebody new.

It was easier to change yourself that to face what you have lost over the years.

A movement right next to him caught Sam out of his dreams.

„Hey princess. What was that very hairy head of you thinking, huh? Tell me more. Tell me more."

Sam smiled and shook his head.

I was trying to count how many girls you had in the last few years.

He tried to distract Dean from his thoughts; he didn't want to talk about Jess. Not right now.

„Ha! How should you know how many girls I had? You haven't been there. Well, as far as you know I could have lived like a friar."

Sam grinned.

Never. You could never live like one. I know you. You just love the girls way too much.

„Okay, you got me. You're right. So... what about you and Kathy? She was pretty tough before. She had seen a lot. Well, she had seen you kill somebody and nevertheless she let you bring her back to her room."

Sam pulled up his shoulders.

There's nothing going on between the two of us. We get along very well, that's all. And before she was shocked.

„Sure thing. I mean, I just wonder that she didn't scream out loud when the guy who just killed somebody and brought her to her room."

Well, she tried to, I guess but I could stop her.

Dean made an amused sound deep inside his throat.

„And how did you do that. Superman?" His gaze went down to his brothers' trousers and lifted his eyebrows.

„Dean!"

„Hey, come down, I was just asking. I didn't say anything. How can I be responsible for something that you think I was saying if I didn't say anything?"

God, you're such a jerk.

„I know bitch. So tell me."

Sam sighed.

I told her to trust me. I told her that she should stay in her room for the night and that we're going to talk about soon if she wants to.

„And she believed you?"

Sam nodded.

„Wow Sammy. I bet you did that puppy look thing at her, didn't ya?"

Dean shook his head and watched his brother carefully.

It was incredibly how much his brother had grown in the last two years. When he left he was already tall but very gangly in his body composition. Now he was nearly a head taller than Dean and his back looked like a cupboard. He looked incredibly strong and Dean would bet that the girls in college would have loved him if he wouldn't be so quiet.

Otherwise... he didn't really know the Sam who had been at college. When he drove to Stanford and asked his way around to find his brother, everybody seemed to know and to like Sam. He had seen a picture from Jess in Sam's package. Damn, she was so hot. Well, she had been very hot. Sometimes Dean wondered if Sam is just so quiet around him right now and because of Jessica's death. He once or twice tried to talk with Sam about her but he always changes the topic very fast and decided not to talk about it.

He sighed and looked at the sky. He didn't know how long they were lying there, watching the night sky when suddenly Dean remembered their father.

„Damn it! I totally forgot dad! Come on Sammy, we need to take a look whether he's alright."

Sam nodded and together they went out of the garden right after they took care of the bodies in the garden. Dean couldn't believe that he forgot his father. They were a team, they were hinting so often together. But it felt so right to be with his brother. It felt like they were hunting together for years. It was a great experienced for both of them. They saw that they could work as a team on the hunt as well as being brothers.

Silently they went into the house. Dean stopped and tried to hear some fight sounds. But there were none. The whole house was quiet. He looked to Sam and pointed towards the stairs. Together they went up the stairs towards the attic door. Dean turned around the corner and expected to see blood or some signs for the fight that must have been here. There was nothing. Everything looked just like before even the small salt line in front of the door was still where it belonged.

Sam shot Dean an irritated gaze. They both didn't know what was going on here. Was their father already finished with everything? Had he been hurt and kidnapped again?

They decided to go back to their room to take a look whether their father was there or not.

When Dean opened their room door his heart beat to his throat.

He had a feeling that something was definitely wrong here. He went into their room just to find everything like it had been when they left a few hours ago. Sam made a noise to get his brother's attention and pointed to the room next to theirs, which was their father's.

Slowly they went to their father's door and Sam opened the door. It wasn't locked.

Inside John was lying on his bed and watched TV.

He turned his head towards his sons.

„Ha, you're still alive congratulations."

„Dad, I'm sorry it took so long, we..."

„No, no. It's okay Dean. I am very capable of dealing with some freaking demons on my own, I don't really need your help for that, you know."

Dean looked to Sam. He expected his father to yell at them for being irresponsible toward their duties and not something like this.

„Who are you and what did you do to our father?"

„Stop this nonsense Dean. That's not funny."

„Then please tell us what happened! How many demons were there?"

John sighed.

„I didn't know that I have to account to you what I did and the way I did it. But because you're my sons I'm gonna tell you. There weren't any demons. There were three of them but when they saw me they decided to leave. I don't know why there were so few and I don't know why they left but I guess we're gonna see tomorrow."

„Only three? In the garden had been like, I don't know at least enough to keep us busy for a long time. And you were sitting here the whole time watching TV?"

„Yeah I did. I wanted you two to do it alone. I wanted to show you that I trust you. And now, if you don't mind I would like to sleep now. It's nearly 3 am."

Dean stared at his father.

„Yes sir. Goodnight."

Together with Sam he went back into their own room.

So, what was that?

„I have no idea. It's been long ago since the last time I saw him in such a mood. That's scary."

No, I mean. He totally acted out of character.

„Well, that's nothing new today, right? We both thought the same last afternoon when he was like best-daddy-of-the-year."

You're right. So what's the deal with the demons?

„I don't know. Maybe they wanted to spare their power for tomorrow but then I don't understand why there had been so many in the garden."

He looked out in the dark and then turned back to his brother.

„Hey Sammy, you're still bleeding. Wait a minute, I'll get the emergency pack."

I'm okay, Dean.

„No you're not. Your whole jacket is full of blood there you are just too proud to accept that you got hurt. But hey princess, don't worry. This may be your first real battle wound but I can promise you that it won't be your last."

Sam grinned and slowly took off his jacket while Dean went to the bathroom.

The cut looked very nasty. There was a lot of blood but from what Sam could see the cut wasn't very deep. Dean came back with a small package and sat down next to his brother and started to clean the wound.

Because Dean had to use his hands he couldn't sign but he spoke very slowly so Sam could understand him.

„This isn't that bad. It's gonna take a few stitches but nothing serious. If you're lucky you might get scar."

Sam smiled and then hissed through clenched teeth.

„You're okay?"

Sam nodded and made with one hand the sign for ‚okay'.

„You did really good Sammy. You can be proud of yourself."

Sam carefully watched his brother's lips and a warm wave of love went through his body to be almost instantely be replaced again by the pain of the stitches Dean just had made.

„Sammy, I'm a little bit worried about you though."

Why?

„I mean, you did a good job but this was the second time that you got hurt and..."

„Hey!" You're getting hurt all the time so where's the big deal?

„I know Sammy, it's just..."

Dean, this was a normal battle wound. It could have happened to you as well. And last afternoon this whole angel thing, you couldn't expect that. You couldn't know that they exist and that they would come and made my head gonna explode.

Dean nodded and looked into his brother's eyes.

„Are you sure you're okay with this?"

Well, I cannot stitch myself with one hand very well and I wouldn't like this wound to be open the whole time. So yes, I'm okay with it.

„Oh, bitch. I didn't mean the stitches! I meant the hunt. This life. You're sure that this is what you want to do?"

Why are you asking me this?

„Well, I just don't want to get used to this, hunting together with you if you want to leave after this one."

Why do you think that I'm gonna leave?

„You have left once. You could do it another time."

Sam took a deep breath. He wished he could sign with both hands but Sam was still stitched the wound on his arm.

„Dean." I don't want to go back. Sure at first I have missed my old life. My friends, the whole college thing, I missed it you know? But I made my decision when I asked you to get me. And I will stay with this decision. You can trust me. I don't have anywhere to go. You can get used to it.

Dean smiled and rolled his eyes.

„Damn it, you know rule number one! No chick-flick-moments! Idiot..."

He made the last few stitches and cleaned the wound.

In this moment they didn't care about their father's strange behavior or the hard night tomorrow. They were just happy to have each other.

The next morning the sun was itching at Dean' nose. He turned his head and wanted to fell asleep again only to see that he was awake now. He sighed and looked at his watch. It was 6:53 am.

„Great." He murmured. He went up and went to the bathroom. Sam was still sleeping; his left foot was hanging over the bed. This guy was just too tall. Dean started to pipe and went with his fingers quickly over the naked foot.

Sam screamed and in less than a minute he was sitting straight in his bed.

„Dean!"

Dean laughed an evil laugh and pointed towards the bathroom and mimed a monkey under a shower.

Sam shook his head, took a glance at his watch, rolled his eyes, laid down, put the pillow over his head and for a short while he locked himself away from the rest of the world.

While Sam tried to nap a little bit more he could be happy that he was deaf. Otherwise he would have heard a very skew voice coming from the bathroom singing with a very deep passion Grease's evergreen „You're the one that I want." Presented by the one and only Dean Winchester.

While Dean was starting his career as a successful singer, and Sam took a small nap, John Winchester silently got out of his room and went towards the attic, looked to the left and to the right with a mean smile on his face.

After Dean was done with cleaning up he went back into their room. Sam was still lying on his bed, eyes closed.

Dean touched his arm and said: "Come on Sammy, time to wake up. We need to go to that forest to find that so important book. And I'm hungry."

You're always hungry.

"Hey, that isn't a crime! I need food to survive, smart-ass. I think we should drive into town for breakfast. I haven't eaten a nicely done burger for days!"

Well, I don't think that you're gonna die because of your absence of burgers.

"Who knows Sammy. There have already been ways of dying that were way more strange than dying because of burger absence."

Sam smiled and signed the sign for "Jerk".

"Bitch. You know what? If we're gonna survive this day I'm gonna teach you how to say jerk."

Do that. I'm gonna take a shower.

Sam stood up and went to the bathroom while Dean sat down on his bed. He watched the room and didn't know what to do. He didn't want to think about the next night. He wanted to enjoy this day with his brother but he knew that they had to look for the book otherwise they wouldn't have a chance to survive and to end all of this.

He switched on the radio and to the melody of "Eye of the tiger" he played a little bit guitar. Well, because he didn't have a guitar he had to use his leg, which was nearly as good as a real guitar.

When the song was over he was bored again. He could hear the water running and for a short moment he wondered whether he should take a look at their father. But after the way he acted last night Dean wasn't really in the mood to talk to him right now. He looked to Sam's bed where his bag was lying open right next to the bed.

He shot a glance to the bathroom but the water was still running so he decided to take a look at Sam's bag. Sam didn't like talking about himself so Dean needed to find out something about his brother for himself.

The bag was full of clothes, two old books and in one corner he found the picture of Jessica and Sam before. They looked so happy together, both had a huge smile on their faces. This picture could be printed right next to the meaning of "Happiness" in a dictionary.

One of Sam's hands was lying on her hips and one could see that they were very close to each other.

Dean swallowed. His brother didn't deserve to suffer like this, to loose something that precious. He put the picture where it was and went back to his bed and waited for Sam.

A few minutes later Sam came out of the bathroom with still wet hair.

Dean sighed.

"Finally. You know what? You're like a girl in a bathroom, No men need so long like you to take a shower."

Sam lifts his shoulders.

What's up with you? You're a little bit restless today. Is it because of next night? Are you in a hurry?

"Damn it, I'm hungry. Come on we're gonna got eat something and then we're gonna look for that stupid old thing."

Okay, okay. I didn't say anything. Shall we look after dad? He acted a little bit strange last night.

"Urgh, no. I'm not in the mood for this right now; I just want to eat something. Dad can take care of himself. He doesn't like being cared for. You better remember that. Now, let's go. I'm starving."

Dean took his keys and went out of the room being followed by his brother. As they went to the Impala Sam had the feeling that someone was watching them. He took a look at the house and searched for someone at a window. And right there, in one window a person stood who was watching them. Sam couldn't really see who it was but he had a strange feeling that it was their dad who was watching them. But why should his dad act like that?

Sam shook his head and opened the door to the Impala, thinking that maybe he was becoming paranoid.

TBC

A/N: So guys, this was chapter 10. I hope you liked it and please tell me what you think, it's been so hard to write this chapter. I wanted to start a new story but I had to force myself not to start it because I want to finish this one first, which is pretty hard for me right now.

If you see mistakes, which are definitely there, please feel free to pm me, so I can correct them.

I hope that I'm going to upload next week.

Thanks for reading and see you soon!