A/N: Chapter 10! Thank you to those who always comment, and are still reading after all this time. You warm my heart, and I write this for you all. This is a gonna be a long story! And everything will eventually fall into place, hopefully this keeps you going between seasons lol Enjoy!
The silence you tried to create between the two of you was nearly impossible to accomplish. Negan wasn't a silent man by any means; it's as if his voice was his favorite sound in the world at times. Now was no different. But, you did your best to drown him out along the way back to Hilltop. Until you felt his hand shoot down to your own and grab it forcefully from your side, lifting it up to inspect the deep cuts his precious Lucille had made on your wrist.
"I'm sorry, Lucille likes to bite sometimes."
With a tug you withdrew your hand from his, shoving both of yours into the pockets of his jacket that hung loosely around your much smaller frame. Judging by the smirk on his face he wasn't all too concerned with your injury, at least not the one he inflicted.
"Just see the fucking doc when we get back. You look like shit. Have you seen your fucking face, sweetheart? Looks like you went a couple of rounds with-"
He stopped his endless teasing when he looked down at you, with your head hung and hair falling over your face in an attempt to hide the pulsing bruises that were forming. You were never one to care for such trivial things, but there was no hiding how bad it was, the pain itself was enough to remind you of that.
"Shit, look I-….I am sorry, sweetheart. That was rude of me."
His pathetic excuse of an apology only caused you to roll your eyes. "Just stop. I'll see the doctor; I'll go back to the sanctuary with you and continue my job. End of story." Your frustrations with everything were slowly building, and the pain you felt wasn't helping. You wanted to lie down and just rest, sleep forever if possible.
"No."
His voice cut through the tension that had formed, and you turned to look at him quizzically not really sure if you had heard him correctly. "What do you mean no? Why even come get me then? I don't under-"
"You really want to piss me off?" His gloved hands came upon your shoulders, shoving you against a tree causing the smaller branches to shake. "Keep talking, princess. You're coming back with me, and I'll assign you whatever fucking position I want."
His words caught you off guard, but you don't dare to speak against him. Under these circumstances, his word was final. That grin came back to his face, and he patted your cheek softly as he moved away, throwing your own words back at you before walking off. "Consider it a time out. Until I know you don't need to be coddled."
You stood near the tree for a few seconds, eyeing his back as he strode off towards the colony. It shouldn't be too long till you were both there again, so you just moped in your silence, watching the stars in the sky, trying to distract yourself.
The sun was still down by the time you reached Hilltop, and you sulked next to Negan as the guards opened the gates for you both. The two men who stood there looked at you worriedly, and you realized they must've seen the bruises on your face more than likely assuming Negan had something to do with them. But, they didn't question it, their lives mattered more to them at that moment and you couldn't blame them.
Negan proudly threw Lucille over his shoulder, smiling at the two men as he walked by them, knowing he was the cause of the apprehension they felt. Once you were on the porch of the large home that sat right in the middle of Hilltop he turned to you.
"Doctor. Now."
It was the last thing he said to you before heading back into the home, finding his own room and probably nodding off to sleep. It was far too late to bother Dr. Carson and you didn't really care to make conversation with anybody, or even recall the little adventures you had in the woods not so long ago. With a small sigh, you walked inside sliding your hand up the railing as you went to find a room upstairs. Your injuries would heal, they always did.
"Nice jacket."
You jumped back when a voice came from behind you, and you whipped around to find Jesus smiling at you from his bedroom door. Although when his eyes darted to the marks that adorned your skin it fell quickly. He practically ran over to you, his hands coming up but not touching you as he tried to figure out what happened.
"Naeodin, are you ok? What the hell happened? Did Negan-"
"No! No, of course not. It wasn't him." There was no doubt that Jesus didn't quite seem to buy that, but you smiled at him and moved his hands away from your face anyway. "Really. It wasn't him." There wasn't any need to go into detail, you just hoped he trusted you enough to finally believe you, and thankfully he did.
"At least let me get Carson to look at you."
His concern for you was charming, but you waved his suggestion off, gesturing towards your outfit instead. "Actually, can you manage to spare some clothes?"
Jesus just looked you over, shaking his head when you ignored the offer of medical attention but relented to your request regardless. "Sure thing. Give me a second." The man walked back into his room, coming out a couple of minutes later and handing you a pile of clothing. "They're more for comfort, so they might be big on you."
"No. They're perfect. Thank you." With a grateful smile, you moved to head down the hallway following Jesus' directions on which room was yours, and he made sure to mention that Negan was right across from you. He was still clearly concerned for your well being, even though he really had no reason to be. But, you promised him anyway that you would keep a distance from the leader of the Saviors if it offered him just a bit of comfort. You pushed the door open to your room, and set the clothes down on the bed as you began to undress. You replaced the jacket with a long sleeve shirt, and your torn and bloody jeans for some fresh sweat pants that thankfully had the strings still attached, otherwise they would fall right off your waist. It was pointless to keep your jeans now, so you threw them in the waste basket that sat at the foot of the bed. With a great big sigh you fell back onto the mattress, the aches in your body roaring back to life as your muscles began to settle into rest. The pain was uncomfortable, but nothing you couldn't handle, you've been in this exact situation before.
You turned to your side, resting your cheek on top of your hand as you tried to fall to sleep but when your eyes locked onto Negan's jacket, you decided it was probably best to return it to him right now. If you woke up and anyone saw you with it, you can only imagine the rumors that would spread. Even at the sanctuary there were talks of Negan's female servants taking up his bed with him. It didn't take much for people to start talking, and you were more than sure that at least one of those women wasn't sleeping with him. The poor girl was bullied relentlessly though, by the other women all because she took a little too long cleaning his bathroom that day. They assumed the worse about her, and the men didn't help. In fact, they took it upon themselves to try and proposition the young lady, which you had helped put a stop to. Either way, it wasn't something you wanted to get caught up in.
You hoisted yourself up, rubbing at your tired eyes before grabbing the leather item and heading outside the room and into the hall. With a glance both ways you quietly went over to Negan's door, bringing your hand up to knock only to stop seconds before. It was better if you just went in and left it for him, you weren't in the mood to deal with his banter right now. With a creak you pushed the door open as much as you could without waking him, and you squeezed through. You quietly shut it behind you, sneaking over to the bed to place the jacket on one of the posts but your eyes trailed over to the man. He was laying peacefully on the bed, his normally slicked back hair a mess a top his head. It was so strange seeing him like this, the usual scowl or smirk that he wore wasn't there, and in its place was just a slight dip of the lips indicating he was asleep. It was like watching him drive all over again, his usual cocky self was replaced by just another man trying to survive this wretched world. You had to wonder if he even knew the difference in himself when he was asleep or focusing on a task. His broad chest rose and fell with each breath, and you suddenly noticed he was uncovered, and in this weather he could easily get cold.
"I shouldn't…" You spoke aloud, mindfully biting your lip as you eyed the blanket that lied on his dresser. Would it be weird of you to do that? But, really it was a small payment to make in exchange for your life that he saved. You placed his jacket on the bed post, and grabbed the blanket carefully, unfolding it in the process. With a wave of the material you threw it over his body, tucking it against his side before turning to leave. Except that wasn't afforded to you, a hand shot out and grabbed your wrist tightly, the slight twinkle of dark eyes setting their sights on you as you stared wide eyed at the man. A blush crept up to your cheeks, and you were grateful for the dark of night at that moment.
"I was just…"
A proper excuse wasn't coming to mind, and you wanted so badly to sink into the ground at this point. You could only imagine how this looked to him, after the attitude you gave him here you were tucking the older man in like he was a child in need of care. So much for a small price to pay, you thought.
Negan leaned up in the bed, eyes gazing over the blanket curiously before a smirk made its way to his face. He studied you for a second, a playfulness glowing in his eyes as he pulled you closer to him.
"And to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"
He was much like a cat playing with his prey, and you planted your feet firmly into the carpet of the floor as he tightened his grasp on your wrist in an attempt to bring you near. This was everything you were trying to avoid not so long ago, and now you were trapped. Negan was much stronger than you, and with an ease he managed to throw you on the bed next to him, and hovered over you with a sly grin. His weight held you in place beneath him, one of his hands holding your wrists above your head as he stared arrogantly down at you. Your eyes never left his as you struggled under him, blushing madly at the position you were in.
"What are you doing?!"
"I could ask you the same thing, princess."
His voice was deep and raspy from his sleep, but that confident tone was still there.
"I was just returning your jacket."
You tried to free yourself from beneath him, but his strong hold on you was only growing. His eyes glanced over at the jacket hanging from the bed, and he only seemed to be more amused by that.
"Thanks, doll. It is one of my favorites."
Your struggled had ceased, and with a quiet sigh you pleadingly looked up at him to let you go. But, Negan only stared thoughtfully at you, not intent on doing so anytime soon.
"Stay with me, sweetheart. I could use the fucking company."
"What?"
He laughed at the bewildered look on your face, one of his hands coming down to brush at the skin of your cheek as he spoke. "So I know you don't fucking run off again."
This was obviously his way of toying with you, and you had to weigh your options carefully. If you stayed it would seem like he finally broke you down, but if you left you were sure he would find another way to torment you. Negan loved nothing more than to prove he was in charge, and lately fighting back only proved to egg him on.
"Come on, doll. It'll be like the first night we spent together here. You do remember that, right?"
The mischievous look he had on his face only made your blush deepen, and you had to admire his talent for turning every word he said into an innuendo. How could you forget that night? It was the first one you had spent with another person lying next to you in a long time, let alone a stranger. It was entirely uncomfortable and awkward for you, but at least he wasn't handsy about it.
"Nothing happened that night, Negan."
With a chuckle, he moved off of you and back onto his side of the bed, the mattress dipping under his weight. "We can fix that, sweetheart. I got all night if you're willing."
With a scoff of disgust you moved to get up, but he grabbed your forearm with an amused laugh. "Stay the fuck put. You need to get a fucking sense of humor, sweetheart."
You looked down at him, trying to figure out if he was playing with you or not. But, you were positive if you offered yourself to him he would take it without question. And yet, he never actually forced you into anything, most of his flirtations were just that, flirtations. So you stayed put, lying back down into the bed but still keeping a slight distance between you two. He seemed overjoyed with your decision, and he settled back down into his side with a smirk, his eyes closing as he began to drift off into sleep. A silence developed in the room, and you laid there for a few minutes until you were sure he was actually asleep this time. His breathing had slowed, and you dared a glance over at him. The first time you slept next to him, the apprehension you felt was high and it took you by surprise that in this instance there really wasn't any. It was still a bit uncomfortable to be so close to Negan like this, but it wasn't entirely bad either. Perhaps it was because this very man had risked his life to save you from the Claimers. The first time this happened he had threatened you and took everything you owned from under your feet, but now…now here he was going out in the dark and sticking his neck out for you. Strange how a few short weeks with someone can change your perception of them.
Turning on your left side you watched him as he slept, taking in the way his lips parted just enough to let his breath out, the way his fingers twitched slightly in his dream like state. It amazed you just how different he was in these moments, and you fancied yourself a good read of people but he…he was an enigma. Before walkers took over the planet, a person saving your life left a deep impact, but in this world it meant even more. With little to no resources left, it was a fight to survive so for someone to risk their well being for you, that meant a hell of a lot.
Your thoughts were rudely interrupted by him as his arm came up and smacked you in the face, making you groan out in pain as it pushed against your injuries. You didn't think he'd be the type to move in his sleep, but so much for that. With a shove you moved his arm away, but he stubbornly kept it on your side of the bed. So you decided to just lay your head on his bicep, hoping you would wake up before him so he wouldn't catch you like this. The witty remarks he'd make wouldn't end if he did.
Sleepily, you eyed him, fighting to stay awake as his warmth began to envelope you. It was almost soothing in nature, making you forget the aches you had all over your beaten body. And there was something calmingly familiar about this situation, as a sense of safety flowed through you. A closeness to another human being that you hadn't quite felt in a while, and it was scary and nice all at once. It was like a time long forgotten in your memories, that you thought you had buried deep away in the recesses of your mind. A time when everything seemed to be perfect, as perfect as this world could get. It came back to you all so suddenly, the memory of your former lover etched into your mind, of his arms around you, his lips brushing against your bare shoulder as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear. Telling you how everything was going to be ok, because he was there. He would protect you. And he had. So many times he had put his life on the line for you, for everyone in your family because he was strong enough to do so. A deep yearning engulfed you, and for a brief second you could've sworn it was him lying next to you whilst in your dream like state. You reached a hand out for him, longing to touch his face.
"Rick…"
But, the image you had faded and in its place was the face of a savior, his salt and pepper beard trimmed perfectly against his strong jaw. With a mild sense of disappointed you pulled away, stopping yourself just in time before you got to close to those emotions again. You thought you were over him, but being with Negan like this, it brought back the parts of you that craved the affections of another. But, you weren't going to get that from a man like Negan. Even if he showed small favors of care, he didn't seem to be one for affairs of the heart. You sighed deeply, and turned away from him, deciding it was best not to look at him for the remainder of the night.