Hello again! So here's the last chapter…I think I've managed to cover everything that I wanted to, so I hope it gives the closure I was wanting to give. I better just throw in once more that the only thing here that belongs to me is the story.
Flopping down on my bed, I reached out for the remote and turned on the TV; some lame infomercial lit up the screen and it wasn't long before it lost my attention. My meeting with Chip had been playing on repeat all afternoon and no amount of shitty TV was going to make it stop. While absently watching some guy with a mullet try to sell fitness stuff, I let out a sigh at the thought of the conversation Chip and I had earlier about what went wrong between Needy and me. Since it happened, there hasn't been a day that I haven't thought about my fight with her, but over the last little while it's like it occupies less of my time. Instead of thinking about it all day, I've managed to get it down to nearly all day; it's not that I'm trying to forget it or anything; it's just that it depresses me too much to think about it for too long. I was almost winning in trying to push it a little bit further back in my mind, and then Chip showed up; fantastic, happy, lovable, adorable Chip. God I hate him.
The thing is though, he really got to me and I sure as hell wasn't expecting that. I'd figured I'd been doing really well at hiding how hurt I actually was about everything, until he started quizzing me about what went down between Needy and I. He followed me around the fields during gym class like some lost dog until I ended up caving in. I told him that we weren't friends anymore, that it just didn't work out between us; of course, I didn't tell him exactly why Needy and I weren't friends anymore. As much fun as it might've been to see his round, smiley face drop at just how in to each other Needy and I really were, I knew it wasn't my place to tell him. That, and it's not like I need to give Needy another reason to hate me.
Turning my gaze to the television again, I noticed that the mullet guy was still excitedly trying to peddle his wares and became aware of my room being a little too warm. Forcing myself up off the bed, I made my way over to the window on legs that were still a little shaky from the laps I'd run earlier. I opened it just a few inches, like I'd normally do, even if it was practically freezing outside. I paused for a moment then, before I opened it all the way, shivering both at the sudden chill and from the feeling of the curtains as they danced around me in the breeze. I couldn't say what made me open the window all the way, but as I made my way back to bed, more comfortable now from not feeling so overheated, I remembered that it was something
Needy and I used to do years ago whenever she'd stay over. We were just kids discovering the world back then, so unsure of just where we fitted in to everything, but when we were together, none of that stuff mattered. There were no bullies, no kids questioning why we were friends. It didn't matter that I didn't have a dad, or that Needy didn't have the nice things that I did. It was just the two of us.
Hearing something outside my window, I snapped my head away from the TV to see if anything was out there, lifting myself up on my elbows and squinting out in to the darkness. When I didn't hear anything else, I dropped down and turned back to the screen, depressed at the thoughts of Needy invading my mind and desperate to think about anything else, even if it was some machine that was meant to make my butt really tight.
'Hi'. The voice sounded distant, but even in my current state of mind-numbness, it still made me jump. Looking over to where it came from, I sat up as I saw a dark figure standing by the window. As my eyes adjusted to the relative darkness away from the brightness of the TV screen, I realised who it was that was standing in front of me.
'Holy shit Needy! What the fuck are you doing? Christ, you nearly gave me a fucking heart attack'.
'I came to see you. I need to talk to you'. Needy dropped her hood as she stepped away from the window and for the first time, I took in what she was wearing.
'What, dressed like a goddamn axe murderer?' She had kitted herself out in sweats, a hoodie, a pair of Converse and fingerless gloves, like the kind hobos wear. Oh, and it was all in varying shades of black. No, not creepy at all.
'Well it's really cold out tonight. Besides, it's not exactly like I thought I'd actually end up in your room or anything', she said, taking off her gloves. As I looked at her more closely, I noticed that her cheeks were more rosy than usual, I guessed from the cold. The thing that really caught my attention though were her lips. They had a blue tinge to them, and in that instant, I wanted nothing more than to warm them with my own. Shaking the thought from my mind, I patted the space next to me, letting her know that it was okay to get a little closer to me.
As Needy came to join me on the bed though, I immediately regretted my invitation. It'd been so long since we'd been this close, and having her this near to me was almost too much. Things I'd never really taken much notice of before, like her shampoo, body wash or the scent of her perfume, were mixing in to some intoxicating combination that was simultaneously drawing me closer to her and making me back away for air. Despite Needy saying that she came here to talk, she wasn't exactly spilling her soul to me, but then, I wasn't really doing any better. I suppose neither of us really knew what to say. It didn't matter that we'd been friends since we were knee high and still had training wheels on our bikes, all of that went AWOL after the fight. It sounds weird to say, but it's like our history didn't matter; right now we're like two kids on their first date, or the family at dinner after Uncle Frank managed to somehow insult everyone present. In other words, awkward doesn't even begin to cover it.
'So', Needy began, 'I know things haven't been great between us lately, but I want you to know that I forgive you'. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at that, but I stopped short of laughing in her face.
'Jesus Needy, there's no need to be so J.V about it all', she looked hurt by what I'd said, but I wasn't going to let myself feel bad over it. 'Look, the truth is we're too far in for all this apologising bullshit. You know it just as much as I do'. Needy looked at me with something like recognition in her eyes and I knew she understood where I was coming from. 'A friendship like ours, it's really something special and I kind of hate myself sometimes because it's taken me so long to get that, you know?' I stood from my bed and went to stand by the window, giving Needy some space to think about what was going on. Truthfully, I didn't even really know what was going on right now. I don't know if things will ever be the same between the two of us, but I'm hoping like hell that they will be. As I leant against the wall though, letting the frigid air drifting in from outside soothe me, I looked back over at Needy and I knew there was no way I was going to let her go.
Needy settled herself on to the bed more, bringing her legs up under her chin and wrapping her arms around them before she replied to me. 'Things got bad between us Jen, I mean like, real bad. Honestly, until tonight, I'd pretty much made myself believe that I was never going to talk to you again'. Hearing Needy say that, I felt my heart sink, but I knew she was telling the truth. We both fucked up, big time. 'We were idiots to think things could stay the same between us after what happened back at mine that night. I don't know why I didn't say anything back then'. Her voice faded and it was now that I noticed the silent tears staining her cheeks. I struggled to stay put, my fingertips and toes were practically aching with the effort it was taking to hold back my desire to go over and comfort her, but I could tell she wasn't finished talking just yet.
Sniffling, Needy swiped at the tears on her cheek with her sleeve. 'I guess I just didn't want to risk losing you, I suppose I figured that just having you around would be good enough'. Her voice was so small; I had to strain to hear it. 'You mean the world to me Jennifer. I was willing to do whatever it took to keep you close to me, even if I knew that we couldn't go on like that forever'. Her words cut deep, because I knew they were true. 'I've thought about you and about us every day since the fight and it hurt so much. The thing that made it worse, was that I knew you were feeling the same way. You hid it better than I did sure, but even from a distance, I could tell that you weren't the same. As angry as I might've been at you, it had nothing on the pain I felt every time you passed me in the hall'. Everything she was saying was exactly spot- on and I could feel the burning tracks of the tears down my own cheeks as I looked at her.
'Needy', I began, stepping away from my place by the window and closer to her, but she cut me off before I could continue.
'When I couldn't ignore the way I felt about you anymore, when I couldn't deal with all the hurt, I went to see Chip'. There's that fucking name again! Dread washed over me and I began to worry; Needy's just here to tell me she's sticking with Chip, she's just going to rip my goddamn heart out all over again. I stopped a few feet from my bed, not able to bring myself to go any closer to her, preparing for the worst. 'Jen', her voice was still soft, but crystal clear now, 'Chip broke up with me'. I wasn't sure exactly what I'd just heard, but there was no denying the relief that washed over me the instant the words hit my ears.
'Jen? You okay?' Needy's voice broke through my daze and I all I could do was nod feebly at her. 'Good. You just look like you regressed back to the night of the fire. You know, all silent and still and…weird'.
'I'm better than okay Needs' I chuckled, 'but how're you handling it? Even though I hate Chip, you guys were pretty tight. He was good for you'. My heart was practically beating out of my chest as I realised that we could still rescue us, and I had to fight to keep the smile off my face as I quizzed Needy about her break up.
'I'm handling it better than I thought, I guess because I knew it was inevitable, you know? I actually went over there to break up with him, I just couldn't lie to him anymore'.
'But?'
'He beat me to it. He said that he talked to you about what was going on between us, said you seemed just as upset about it as I was'. I must admit that surprised me, I was sure he'd just been starting at my tits the whole time. 'Jen, he was doing this because he could tell we were miserable without each other, and he couldn't stand to see me like that anymore. Chip said that he's not going to pretend that he understands the little bond thing we've got going on, but he knows that he can never match it'.
'Damn straight he can't!' I replied, and though a small smile pulled at Needy's lips, I could sense there was something she wasn't telling me. 'What else happened Needy?' I'm not sure why, but I suddenly saw red, 'he didn't try anything on you did he? I swear if he did-'.
'Jennifer', Needy interjected, 'nothing happened. He just said something else is all'. I didn't say anything, just went and sat on my bed, so close to Needy our knees were almost touching. She seemed a little nervous and cleared her throat before continuing. 'He said he didn't mean it in a gay way, but that he thought that I love you more than him, because we've been friends so long'. Needy dipped her chin and some of her hair fell over her shoulder, forming a curtain around her face that meant I couldn't read her expression. My heart was beginning to beat a little faster as I thought about how to reply. In the end, I asked what seemed like the simplest question.
'Do you?' I was nervous myself now and madly hoping that Needy wouldn't pick up on it. The seconds it took for her to respond felt like years and despite the fact that there was no need for it, I felt myself growing impatient.
Needy nodded at first, but it was so slight that I'm not sure I even really saw it. 'I do. I love you so much Jen, more than you know'. She was looking at me now, her eyes filled with fresh tears, but with something in them telling me that this was real.
'In a 'gay way'?' I already knew the answer to that question, but it was so priceless, I just had to ask. I have to hand it to Chip; he certainly has a way with words.
'In every way', came Needy's reply and I couldn't hold myself back any longer. Closing the small distance between us, I crushed my lips to hers, hungrily seeking out more of her. As we fell back against the pillows, I mumbled to Needy that I'd have to remember to thank Chip. As much as he really grates on me, I'll give credit where it's due; if it wasn't for what he did earlier tonight, Needy and I would probably still be avoiding each other.
As our kiss got progressively more heated, I couldn't help but think back to the night in Needy's room, where we realised everything for the first time. As similar as the circumstances might be, I knew we were both completely different people now. We'd both experienced something completely overwhelming, we'd both been hurt, and now we were both working to piece it back together.
I pulled away from her briefly. 'Needy?' There was something I needed to be sure of.
'Yeah?' Her voice sounded far away, and it was a struggle to stay away from her.
'Are we doing this? I mean, are we going to give it try?' My voice was cracking, but I had to know what her answer was.
'Like, are we going to be a couple?' I nodded. 'Jen, you shouldn't even have to ask that. Ever since our first kiss in my room that night, it's all I've wanted. I was just scared of losing you if I mentioned it and you weren't in to it'. She was crying now, and I felt the tears on my own cheeks as she spoke. 'You know it won't be easy though, right? People around here aren't exactly the most progressive bunch'.
'Is anything ever easy?' I replied. 'Besides, it's not like half the kids at school think we've secretly been together for years anyway. I think they think that's why I'm friends with you'.
'What, like I'm a good lay?' Needy's laughter filled my room and I joined in with her. 'Well, am I?' Her gaze was suddenly serious, her voice heavy with lust, all signs of laughter gone. I became aware of the dull throbbing between my legs and realised that I didn't want to draw this out longer than I already had.
'The best'. And with that, I closed the gap between us again, drawing Needy as close to me as I possibly could. 'I'm never letting you go Needy, and I won't let you let go of me either'.
'Never even crossed my mind'. I felt the smile on her lips as she pressed them to mine again, dragging her hands under my shirt at the same time. As her fingers closed around the clasp of my bra, undoing it, I know that this will be different to our first time. There's no time for nerves or assurances now, only the passion we feel. Pulling off my shirt, I let my bra fall from my shoulders and Needy's hands are on me, her burning fingers driving me wild.
Grabbing at the zip of her hoodie, I dragged it open, slightly disappointed to see that she's wearing a shirt underneath. I mumble at her to take it off, not wanting to break away from her. With her shirt and bra removed, I move my fingers to the waistband of her sweats, pulling them down, too impatient to wait. As Needy kicks her pants off, I go to take my own off and catch her eye, seeing for the first time tonight a lust I hadn't seen in them since the night of the fire.
'Hurry up', was all she could manage, her voice husky. I didn't bother replying, preferring to let my now naked body do the talking. I roll us over so that I'm top, my right leg resting between her open thighs and I smile as I remember that this is the same position we were in that night. I moved my hand slowly down between her legs and using my leg for leverage, pushed two fingers inside of her. The moan that left Needy's lips was indescribable, but I decided if anything, it sounded like pure sex, and it was all for me. I set a steady rhythm, not wanting to go too fast and have it all end too soon, but I wasn't exactly in the mood for teasing either.
I was losing myself in Needy, it was like every part of her was invading my senses and I swear that if I wasn't near her like I was right now, I probably wouldn't be able to function properly. I became aware that I was grinding against her leg ever so slightly, desperate for friction and at that moment, I looked up at Needy to find her staring at me intently. Without saying a word, I watched her left hand as it loosened its grip on my sheets and made its way slowly, teasingly down her stomach, stopping to rest just above my plunging fingers.
'Stop', she breathed out, clearly struggling to control herself. 'Move over. I want to touch you'. I did as she commanded, not wanting to waste another second. As Needy pushed a finger in to me, her lips caught mine, stifling my moan. I began my movements again, revelling in the feel of being inside her. I pulled her closer to me, wanting to create more friction for the both of us; I was close and hanging on was just making me more frustrated. Needy's moans were telling me she was dangerously close too and I sped my thrusts up to help her along.
'Jen. God. So close', Needy forced out, her words punctuated by her moans and my lips on hers.
'That's it Needs. Come with me. I need you to'. I could feel how close we both were and I wanted to make sure she knew it too. Grinding my fingers in to her harder and faster, I felt Needy do the same to me, both of us working to bring each other over the edge. Seconds felt like minutes as they passed, the two of us both so desperate to tumble in to that euphoric state that comes with an orgasm. Finally, I felt Needy tighten around me and as she cried out my name, my own wave of pleasure took me over, shocking me with its intensity. Falling on to my back and breathing heavily, I looked over at Needy; her eyes were closed, a small but infinitely happy smile on her lips.
'Needy?' She looked over at me, her eyes still half closed.
'Mm?'
'I love you'. It was the first time I'd said it, well, with her awake to hear it anyway, and I knew without a doubt that I meant it with everything that I am. Needy didn't reply at first, she just made her way back over to me and placed a soft kiss on my lips before settling in against my side.
'I love you too, Jen. Sandbox love remember?' Needy yawned and I watched as her eyes drifted closed, her steady breathing beckoning me to follow. As I felt my own eyes grow heavy, I smiled up at the ceiling at the realisation that our love is something so much stronger than either of us thought, something that survived childhood fights in the sandbox to grow in to something so all-consuming, I can't imagine life without it or Needy. As I finally felt sleep wash over me, I let it carry me away with thoughts of the life we could create together, my sandbox love and I.
I am so sorry for keeping you all waiting so long for this, but considering it's the last chapter I figured I should spend a bit of extra time making it right. I really hope you liked the story I've put together; I can't say just how much I enjoyed writing it for you all. Special thanks go to everyone that reviewed; even the smallest of comment provide the biggest encouragement. Over the next few months – studies and work permitting - I'll be working on a few new stories, including one for Black Swan, so check in when you can. Thanks again!