Princes Familiar
Author's Note: FORGIVE ME, THIS IS LATE! (Caliko bows 100 times over), I'm really really sorry this is so late! I had a project that came up which I am not so technically skilled at. No excuses, here is it. This one was spontaneous, and a little funny! Oh, and I have taken creative license to say ninja aren't allowed to vote. That was my guess. If I'm wrong on that, somebody say so. It's not that important anyway. Please enjoy!
10. Princes and Thieves
Tsunade opened her mailbox one fine morning.
She couldn't really say it was 'her' mailbox, but she did anyway considering it was her house now and her domain to rule. There were a few pieces of it today. On top, there was a letter addressed to her grandfather, Shodaime Hokage. Never a return address.
Fan mail. (She always supposes—the letters are in fine hand and gentile, signed anonymous.)
Next was a letter to her father from an old gentleman in the land of stone. It looked like an ordinary catching-up letter. Didn't he know her father had passed on? What did he live under, a rock?
Toss.
Next was a political flyer—she didn't receive those too often. Ninja didn't vote. But considering her lineage, they obviously were hoping for some sort of endorsement from her.
Bloc heads. Shred.
Another letter, this was from the medical core. The yellow envelope looked to be the usual evaluation of her service. What for? So long as she wasn't a fugitive or something, the letters never told much. What a waste of paper.
Toss.
Another letter to her grandfather followed that one—insufficient postage had sent it back once already. Obviously the sender was insane—or eccentric enough to want to get it to him. Tsunade found herself chuckling strangely for a moment looking at the fine handwriting.
Read. Later.
A piece of junk mail was next. She didn't need another credit card—"Oh wait… this is purple," she looked at the card with the example silver lettering.
Now she'll have every color! Save!
Lastly, there was a simple white envelope simply written to her name and address neatly. Tsunade had no explanation or account for this. "God I hope it's not from Jiraiya," she bemoaned. "Oh I bet it's from Jiraiya."
She took all of these letters inside and sorted them accordingly, applying for her new purple credit card, until she reached the last letter. Upon opening it, she read,
Dear Lady Tsunade,
You are the inheritor of my uncle's property west of Tanzaku. It was in his will to be given to Shodaime Hokage, or his heir.
My uncle passed away quite suddenly, and I regret I am still not quite myself, but I would very much look forward to your arrival as soon as possible so I might give you the tour myself. It is a very sizeable piece of land, rich in agriculture (my uncle was a lifelong farmer) and also it has some significant historical value to the area. A very old shrine sits on the property, in the middle of a grove of cherry trees.
He was a firm believer in your grandfather, and my uncle cherished the peace your clan brought to this country. I humbly await your arrival at the following enclosed address,
Yours Respectfully, Hoshiko Takano.
Rather precarious, Tsunade began spontaneously giggling again. "It won't take too long to get there, either!" she grinned, and quickly began packing an overnight bag.
.
"OI, OI!"
Under the late afternoon sunshine, Tsunade turned on the cobbled road leading out of the shinobi village. "Oh!" she scoffed, and began pinching her brow, frowning, "Just when I thought I was going to have a nice day…"
"Where ya goin'?" Jiraiya cooed, his hands on his knees, searching her beautiful warm brown eyes.
"None of your business," she said.
"None of my business hm? Then it must have to do with my pleasure!"
His rich laughter choked for a moment when she hit him hard right in the gut.
Jiraiya wheezed. "Nice one…Can I go?" he recovered, standing up straight.
Just as the word formed upon her lips, Hatake Sakumo suddenly came up to them, "Go where?" he inquired innocently, unhearing their conversation thus far.
"Oh—um, ha ha," she smiled, "Jiraiya was just interrupting me…I was, um, going away—" Discreetly, she quickly stepped on Jiraiya's toes—he took it well when his lip began to bleed—"—for the weekend."
"Oh how wonderful. Enjoy yourself. Is it very far?" Sakumo asked her conversationally.
"Yes—No," she said, "No, it's just west of Tanzaku actually."
"Oh my GOSH, NO WAY MY NINJA SOCKS!" Jiraiya suddenly exclaimed, "Sakumo and I were going to Tanzaku to have a couple drinks!"
"Sakumo-san, you don't drink…" To this he shrugged, "I'm having water," he supplied, "And Jiraiya," Sakumo turned, "You don't wear socks."
Jiraiya moved his injured bleeding foot behind his other, "Aren't we all just fruit loops today!" he chuckled.
"Yeah I'll fruit your loop," Tsunade muttered threateningly under her breath.
"Could we all go together?" suggested Sakumo.
"Of course!" Tsunade cheered that decision. She walked beside him while Jiraiya abruptly found himself in back, like a little child, limping slightly with a bucktooth grin hiding his bruised lip.
"You both off duty?" Tsunade asked.
"How rarely does that coincide," Sakumo remarked with a little humor in his voice.
"Yeah," said Jiraiya walking from behind, "Sakumo says he's never off duty."
After Tsunade looked at him curiously, Sakumo shrugged, "Feels that way lately."
"But you have things to do, Sakumo-san."
"Oh of course, I could think of a thousand things to do at home if I weren't taking a trip just to see the lights," Jiraiya scolded him with a wailing, "Hey!" "I've seen them far too many times."
"Ooo!" Jiraiya wooed. "All right Sakumo!"
"Jiraiya—" Sakumo looked behind—"…Are you limping?"
"No. Why?" Jiraiya grinned.
"…Oh," Sakumo turned ahead.
"Jiraiya," Tsunade said, "You're unusually excitable today."
"It's the medication darling!"
"Don't call me darling!" She glared stiffly at him, "Big oaf!"
"We'll soon be parting ways at Tanzaku," Sakumo inserted calmly.
"Of course. Sorry," she muttered.
"I'm sorry too," said Jiraiya calmly, "I didn't mean to offend you."
Sensing a loopy smile on her back, Tsunade rolled her eyes.
"You know I only say these things…because…" Jiraiya paused, "You are so beautiful," he finished.
Tsunade's anger quelled a little. "Apology accepted," she said again stiffly, feeling a migraine coming on.
Both of them suddenly heard a large sigh of relief from Hatake Sakumo. "What is it?" Tsunade asked, ready to help with her medical ninjutsu.
"Oh nothing," he said lightly as if he were smiling. "I was just afraid I'd be in the middle of a minor war for a minute there."
"Ha ha…Ha ha…" Tsunade's laugh fell flat under dark humor.
.
The main alley of Tanzaku was indeed in fact becoming aglow with lights in lanterns over the street. The sun though had not yet fallen over the horizon. A ball of yellow, polka doted on a broad sea of orange, it was suspended over the forest green trees and hills making for a beautiful, calm landscape. "Well," they all decided, staring at it pleasantly.
"I'll miss you Tsunade!" said Jiraiya.
"Goodbye to you both," she said respectfully.
"Good bye Lady Tsunade," said Sakumo, inclining his head.
"Bye!"
Sakumo and Jiraiya watched her go with a few waves, then together headed for the parlor panorama of sight and sound. "So, what do you want to do?"
"You're asking me?" said Sakumo.
"Of course I'm asking you!"
"Well," Hatake Sakumo did not have an answer, "What did you want to do?"
"What did you want to do?"
"I don't know, I thought we were going to the bar and then…We'll listen to the local conversations and…then I was going to see how their crops were doing…and…"
"Say…Why don't we tail Tsunade?" Jiraiya suggested—"She—"
"Jiraiya!" Sakumo shouted him down even though the sage was bigger than he, "We can't do that! There is such a thing as privacy! Are you crazy?"
"But I suddenly got this funny feeling she might be…attacked," Jiraiya lowered his voice seriously.
"…She is a more than a capable shinobi, a granddaughter of Hashirama. She can handle herself," Sakumo stated. "Now come on." he took him by the arm, but Jiraiya refused, "But what if? What if she runs into serious trouble? I mean we could just tail her until she gets wherever she's going, right?"
"What if she has a simple and fun time without our interest or accompaniment, hm?"
"But Sakumo!" Jiraiya continued digging his heels in with a frown.
"You're set on this, aren't you?"
Jiraiya nodded, smiling a little.
Sakumo stood there for a moment. "…I want no part of it," Sakumo decided firmly, nodding his head.
"Oh…Ok."
Jiraiya turned down the road by himself coasting in the direction Tsunade had headed. Suddenly, Jiraiya stopped. "Are you coming?"
"…I'm thinking about it," said Sakumo rather flatly, his eyes shielded by shadow.
Jiraiya began to whistle a bird call.
Sakumo suddenly walked forward. "I know Sarutobi taught you all to follow your instincts, but really, this is ridiculous. You should be ashamed of yourself."
"Oh you sensed it too did you?"
"Be quiet," Sakumo muttered. "The minute we see her fine and well, we leave. Got it?"
"Yes sir!"
They followed her expertly in the shadows. (Sakumo noticed their corn was doing quite well.) Soon, after reading the road signs as she went, she approached a large home and property west of Koriko road. A young man came out to greet her warmly, looking more a businessman rather a steward, but here he gestured to the house and Tsunade smiled. "I don't like him," Jiraiya said after he let Tsunade go in first.
Sakumo shook his head. "Looks swell enough to me. Come on—"
"No I don't like it," said Jiraiya pulling him down by a shirt sleeve. "Oh look, she's coming back out."
Tsunade, after leaving her bag, followed the same young man all the way around the building as if she were receiving the grand tour of her overnight stay.
"Seems honest."
"No, he looks subversive." At this comment, Sakumo hung his head, shaking it slowly in defeat. "A young manager, that's an important job. Honestly Jiraiya, you—"
The two below headed into the pink and white flowered garden just akin on the northwest side, admiring the beauty as he talked on. "Come on Sakumo! What do you think he's saying?"
"The roses come from the land of rain, while the irises and azalea come from southern Konoha. They're the best. Or so I've always heard."
"What?" said Jiraiya incredulously.
"I've got to teach you how to be a farmer someday. Jiraiya. There is absolutely nothing that is strange or weird about this scene, you have got to let these fancies go sometimes, you—"
Just as the two headed around the corner of the home, out of sight, a shady man wearing shady spectacles in a shady cloak stepped out from the main exterior door, and concealed himself expectantly in the second azalea bush, blending in as if he'd been the size of a butterfly.
"…You were saying?"
Sakumo suddenly stared at this scene with more attention until suddenly, a canopy of shady shade wafted overhead and remained still, unlike a passing cloud. Jiraiya and Sakumo did not need to exchange words to know this too was a shady character wearing shady spectacles/and or a shady cloak. "On guard!" said Jiraiya turning with super speed too much for the man and disarmed him successfully after a second's struggle. "You get the rest of them," said Sakumo, "And I'll take care of the tour guide."
"Roger that."
Sakumo waited in the clump of foliage secretly as Tsunade and the man were three-quarters of the way around the place as he was explaining, "The lilacs were a gift from the land of Iron. My grandfather was friends with a princess there. She brought these herself on her visit."
"Oh!" said Tsunade, "That's fascinating! How lovely, they smell so beautiful."
The man suddenly sneezed, "Ha ha," he smiled, "I'm always like this around plants," He reached into his pocket, but nothing was there, "Oh I've left my handkerchief inside—I'm sorry, let me get it. Please wait here," he said conveniently, "and then I'll take you around to the farm?"
"Oh, yes!" Tsunade smiled cheerfully, enjoying the sunset hued garden in his absence.
Discreetly, Sakumo clobbered him good before he reached the steps. "That all of them?"
"Yes," said Jiraiya, hanging upside down from the inside of the porch, "I was going to put this guy inside a huge locked trunk in there," Jiraiya pointed, whispering, "But there was a huge chunk of money in it!"
"Commission money?" Sakumo whispered.
"A hell of it! Too bad the quality didn't match the quantity; there must have been over two million yen in there!"
"Two million…? I've got to attend to miss Tsunade…" said Sakumo, transforming into the man, "Clean up the mess."
"Oh you get the fun part," Jiraiya scowled.
Sakumo cast him a weary look before he returned (with a men's cloth in hand) back to Tsunade. "This way?" He outstretched his hand the way they came toward the garden instead of around the front.
"Oh, sure. Thank you. So how old is the place exactly?" Tsunade inquired.
"Well, ah…" the man had to think. "What this property has seen," he surmised, "Are the great changes that turn the world in the course of history. I hate to think of it sometimes."
"But don't you hate to leave it?" asked Tsunade curiously. "Wasn't this your home too?"
"Of course," said Hoshiko blindly to both with a slightly forlorn turn of his mouth, "But change is a part of life and my home is not here any longer."
Tsunade regarded him with more curiosity and intrigue than before. "Do you have a job, in the city then?"
"Yes," confirmed Hoshiko. "I live there now too. I've been in Tanzaku for many years studying."
"I see," Tsunade inserted with an understanding tone, ready to ask four more questions.
"The farms here, are—"
"Hoshiko-san!" cried a man, a real steward running up from the building, "I know you said not to disturb you or mention this before her ladyship but I must! All our security in place has been…has been…dismantled! Two thugs, I saw them with my eyes out the window! Everyone is gone!"
"What?"
"Security?" Tsunade said in unison with Takano after they exchanged unabashed glances. Turning to him, "You hired security, just for my visit?" she exclaimed (with a twisted smile).
"Ah…Well…" Hoshiko stammered sheepishly.
"I don't need security…"Tsunade giggled.
"Sir!" the steward uttered at the top of his frantic breath, "They might be anywhere now!" he cried emotionally.
"Well…if they were really after Lady Tsunade here, they should have taken their chance by now…And…And the…yen…?"
"Oh still safe for miss Tsunade here! I checked just a moment ago! The other servant is watching it now!"
"I…must inspect this damage; if the lady insists, she may stay here 'till I return—in a moment, I promise."
Tsunade nodded, with a smile, leaving Takano charging for the home. He stopped as he reached the front porch alone, and began slowly retreating into the trees and brush. "Oi," he heard a man say hanging upside, "How's it goin'?"
"Not good."
"What did the little guy want?"
"Oh we was just saying how all the men disappeared."
Jiraiya chuckled.
"Say, where's the tour guide?"
"Right here," Jiraiya lifted a head.
"Let me have him for a moment."
"Ok."
Sakumo took the man some yards away from Jiraiya to wake him up and get him moving, bending over lots of times over apologizing to him. "We will go now." Sakumo bid him farewell as he exited. "Bye Sakumo!" Jiraiya wiggled his fingers, whispering.
"Why are you hanging upside down like that?"
Jiraiya fell with a thud as he gasped, "Sakumo! But you're—!"
"I can do a few things at once, remember?" Sakumo smiled beneath his mask. "Now come on. I really do feel like for the first time in a long time, I could use a stiff drink." He said the last few words genuinely.
"But Tsunade, are you sure she'll—"
"She'll be just fine now. Have you ever considered, Jiraiya," said Sakumo as they walked on—Jiraiya looking behind intermittently with concern—"That shinobi can be too caught up searching for hidden meanings inside of hidden meanings? Now consider."
Jiraiya obediently took a moment, and considered. "But Sakumo," he said, "that's our job."
Sakumo bent over suddenly, laughing. He had a good hearty, almost borderline insane sort of spontaneous laugh. And long. "I'm going to have two stiff drinks," he chuckled after he calmed down.
Jiraiya's wild (and bruised) grin remained curious, looking him over in surprise. "Two," Jiraiya whistled. "Feeling a little indulgent are we."
"Yes Jiraiya. I'd like to no longer be a menace to society in my off hours."
Utterly puzzled, Jiraiya kept on smiling. "Hey, should that be the other way around? Menace on our off hours—?"
Sakumo hit his arm, toppling Jiraiya over. "Don't be ridiculous," said the masked shinobi.
-Caliko