Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto, Family Guy, The Divine Comedy by Dante, our teacher, etc. If we do, we will be rich… and smart.

Chapter 8: Just like the 1st circle of Hell

Summer: I AM SO SORRY! School sucks balls!

A/N: We couldn't find a good title for this chapter. The title is a reference to the Divine Comedy (Dante's Inferno) by some guy named Dante. The first circle of hell (or limbo) is for those who are not baptized, pagan, etc. They suffer by mental self torture from being without God and other stuff like that. When I first heard the title of the book, I taught this would be funny, but it wasn't. It was a great book though.

(theme song crap)

Narrator: We pick up from when Team 7, Team 8, Team 10, and Dave's team are about to start the first part of the Chuunin exams and meet the first proctor. By the way, we chose the first proctor. Go find out for yourself.

Proctor: OK! While fatty over there is going to the bathroom to cry and eat more fatass food, I will tell you guys my name and get started with the test. My name is Mr. Polan.

A/N: Mr. Polan is a sarcastic teacher at our school who looks like Napoleon Dynomite. We changed his name around for security reasons.

Mr. Polan: Who said that? (sarcastically) No, I'm not sarcastic. Anyway… (Meg comes back in.) Oh crap, fatty is back. Everybody make way! Wide load coming through! As I was saying, you guys will pick a random number out of this basket. The number will decide your seat for you. (They pick up their slips of paper one by one. They went to their assigned seats and got their test paper.) OK! Here are the rules. The test is done in a point deduction system. Each of you has 10 points, except you fatty. You have 7 points.

Meg: What!

Mr. Polan: Shut up! Ok! If you get caught cheating, you will have 2 points deducted. Except for you Meg, 3 points are deducted from you.

Meg: That's not fair.

Mr. Polan: Oh hell it is! Anyway, if you get caught 5 times, you get kicked out. 3 times for you fatty! If you failed and have 0 points left, your whole team fails and get kicked out also. There are 9 questions on the paper. I'll give you the 10th question at the end which will be about 45 minutes from now. So good luck, except for you fatty!

(They started on the test. Chris is on the first question.)

Chris: (in his head) "If a tree falls in a forest and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" What the hell! How would I know that? That question is unanswerable! It is not even related to being a ninja. I will skip that! Ok! Question #2! "If a kunai and a needle are thrown at a target with the kunai going 20 m/s and the needle going 38 m/s, the kunai has a mass of 3 kilograms and the needle has a mass of 2 grams, thrower A- who throws the kunai- is 25 meters away at a 45 degree angle and thrower B- who throws the needle- is 32 meters away at a 110 degree angle, will the projectiles collide with each other , pass each other, or hit the target? If they do collide, how far away from the target do they collide?" What the hell! This involves advanced physics and other nerd crap. How would I know this? Ok! Next question! "Who will win in a fight- Jake Long or Goku?" That's easy, Jake Long! Ok! Next question! Crap, skip that! (He reads the rest of the questions and skips all of them. He is scared and confused. We obviously know Goku will so kick Jake Long's ass. He noticed Jennifer Love Hewitt next to him.) Oh hi Jennifer! Didn't know you were here!

Jennifer: Looks like you need help.

Chris: I see. (starts looking at her huge boobs) Mhmm. Yes!

Jennifer: Here, see my answers and copy them.

Chris: (Comes out of his perverted trance) Wha? Oh! Ok! What if I get caught and why do you want to give me the answers?

Jennifer: Well, it is so all of us will be included in the rest of the test and to make the story flow better. Also, it is to make the chapter to have a good and happy ending and to make the ending possible.

Chris: (looking at her boobs again) Wha?

Jennifer: Did you paid any attention to what I said?

Chris: (As she was talking, here boobs were jiggling) Two D's and a F!

Jennifer: Aw! Screw you! (She turns around hiding her boobs and the answers from Chris.)

Chris: Noooooo..!

Mr. Polan: Hey you there, shut up! You just 2 points 'cause I count talking as cheating.

Chris: Yes sir.

Mr. Polan: Good!

(Meanwhile, Kevin is wondering about the test.)

Kevin: (thinking) Why the hell would they make the test so hard? I would KILL the bastards for doing this. (noticed something) Wait, I get it. The eagle-eyed sentinels, the hard and retarded questions, and the 2 point deduction- it all make sense now. Normally, we fail the test if we got caught once. The test is not the written part. It is us cheating and gathering information. It all makes sense now. Hopefully Chris and fat ass would get it. I would KILL the bastards for making me feel stupid for 20 minutes within the test.

(He uses Sasuke's sharigan somehow to copy pencil movements of the nerdy guy in front of him. Everybody else figured that out except for Meg and Chris. They all used their cheating techniques to obviously cheat. Cleveland sends a fly out, but the prompter squishes it while it was flying around.)

Cleveland: Aw man!

(The cheating continues without Meg and Chris knowing it even though it is happening right in front of their eyes. Chris is freaking out. Meg is acing the test.)

Meg: (thinking) My God! This stuff is easy. Since sound is something you hear and nobody is around to hear it, it technically doesn't make a sound. It makes a sound wave, but not a sound. Also, Goku will so kick Jake Long's ass. Jake Long is just skin and bones. (Connie is behind her about to do a mind transfer jutsu. She did the signs and performed it. She went into Meg's mind.)

Connie: (in Meg's brain) My God! This place is huge and dark. I sense this is filled with a longing to have friends, but it obviously won't happen. The bitch! Dreaming such a wasteful dream! OK! Time to memorize the answers! Crap! Too hard! I would write it down on Meg's hand and read it later. (She came out of Meg's body and back into her own. She quickly realized she wasted her time by writing on Meg's hand instead of memorizing it. She's pissed off at her stupidity.) (thinking) I should of wrote it on my hand. Crap! Wait! That doesn't make sense also. (Back to Meg)

Meg: (thinking) What's with the writing. Crap! I must get it off somehow. (She licks it off. Mr. Polan notices her.)

Mr.Polan: Fatty over there! Quit eating yourself. Wait! On second taught, keep on doing it until you're dead. (Meanwhile, Chris is still freaking out and still doesn't get it. He went into a fettle position.)

Chris: Ohhh… it's hopeless.

Sentinel #1: #6, you're kicked out for cheating.

#6: Hey wait , I didn't cheat. I looked at the person next to me's paper. Oh crap!

(The sentinel grabbed him and kicked him out with his teammates. One by one, people get kicked out more humiliating and hilarious than the last one. Eventually, most of the testing people are gone. Mr. Polan notices this.)

Mr.Polan: (thinking) Looks like I weeded most of them out. Crap! Fatty is still here and she is finished with her test. (The time period ended and Chris is still in his fettle position.) Ok! Pencils down!

Chris: Crap! It's time for the 10th question.

Mr.Polan: (sarcastically) No, it's time for the -463rd question. Ok! Anyway, listen up for the question I would only say it once. Also, here are some new rules for that question. You guys can chose not to take the question and fail. Also, if you get this wrong, you will get banned from the exams PERMANENTLY!

Meg: What! That's not fair.

Mr.Polan: Shut up! I have my reasons. Anybody want to fail or do they want to be banned from the exams.

Examinee: I do!

Mr.Polan: You made a good decision.

(Quickly, many people raised there hands to fail the test. Chris is scared to fail the question, yet doesn't want to fail. He raises his hand.)

Chris: (raised his hand and crying a bit) I…

Mr.Polan: Go on! You want to fail or try to answer the question.

Chris: I… (stubbornly for some reason) I am going to choose to answer that question. I don't care if I get banned. I will do that. I won't back down now.

Meg: Yeah! Go Chris!

Mr.Polan: (To Meg) Shut up! (to Chris) So, you would want to answer. Why the hell you just blurted it out?! You could of kept it to yourself. (thinking) He made the others want to stay. The fat ass son of a bitch! (talking out loud) Ok! Here's the 10th question. (He holds it for a while to draw tension.)

Kevin: (angrily) Ok! Go on with it!

Mr.Polan: Well, that was there to add tension. The 10th question is…there is no 10th question at all.

Everybody: (angrily) What!

Mr.Polan: The entire written test was a real waste of time.

Chris: I knew that all along.

Kevin: No, you didn't, retard!

Connie: (confused) What, I still don't get it.

Mr.Polan: Ok! Let my almost identical cousin Napoleon Dynamite explain it to you

Napoleon: Ok! The written exam was a waste of time.

Connie: We know that already.

Napoleon: Gosh! I didn't finish it yet! Gosh! The real test is to see if you can gather information correctly without the enemy knowing about it. Chuunin must do that. Ok! Gosh!

Meg: Still don't get it.

Napoleon: Chuunin are like ligers. Ok!

Connie: Sorry, I don't speak geek.

Napoleon: I'm not a geek, I'm a nerd. Gosh! You can't tell the difference by now.

Connie: Still don't comprehend.

Napoleon: Gosh! Bitch! Screw you, I won't explain it to you guys any more. (flicks them off and walks away)

Mr.Polan: Ok! Here's to make it simple for you idiots. You all pass. Now get out of my site. (to Napoleon) Yo Napoleon, come here and do your dance for a victory dance.

Napoleon: Gosh! Oh right! (He came back to do his dance and started dancing. Everybody looked at him in a stupid way. Mr. Polan joined him. All of a sudden, a banner with kunai tied to it came in and covered Mr. Polan and Napoleon. The next proctor comes in front of the banner.)

Proctor #2: Ok! You maggots! I am your new proctor. The next exam starts tomorrow.

Chris: Can you tell us your name?

Proctor #2: That's none of your business. I will tell you guys tomorrow. Hopefully you guys will be prepared. This test will make this written exam look like a walk in the park.

Chris: It was.

Proctor #2: Looks like we have a smart ass in here.

Chris: Sorry ma'am.

Peter: Dude, she's a girl. I taught she was a boy.

Proctor #2: Shut up! Both of you! (She slaps both of them in the head)

(Chapter ended)

Narrator: Next time on "Where were you when the world turned upside-down?", it's the second phase of the exams. How will it go?! Find out!

Summer: Woho!! Yeah! Woooo!! OMG! Ahhhh! Ok I am fine. Guess what, specialman is coming next. Weee!! Sugar!!

Bro: Yea! Also, I made a lot of retarded videos on Youtube under my username JoeM007. Same for summer! Also, they will all go to the Forest of Sunshine for the next exams. Despite its title, it is really a minefield filled with booby traps and false, exploding trees.

Summer: Woohoo! Yeah! Wooooo! Weeeee! Woohoo! OMG!! OMFG!! Ahhhhhhhh!! (the song "She bang" by Ricky Martin starts to play) Yipppyyyy!! (Dances like crazy) Ahhhh!!! Woohoo! Yeah!! (all is quiet)… (3 minutes later) Ahhh! Woohoo!!

Bro: SHUT UP!! (beats her until she's unconscious)