Getting to Know Eachother: Part 4- Santa Trumps Frosty
~oOoOo~
"MY TURN, MY TURN!" cried Kirihara, bounding to the front of the room before anyone could demean him, refuse to listen to his story, or kick him out. All of which were definite possibilities.
"You guys are gonna love this!" he guaranteed, smiling at them all. "Not only does it not SUCK but it's got, like, symbolism and motifs and crap."
"Kirihara, what's a motif?" Yuuta asked, dead serious.
"It..." Kirihara became a bit flustered. "That's not the point! This story is not only awesome but it's also deep!"
"Well, we do like deep things..." Everyone admitted.
"Good! Then be quiet!" Kirihara shouted. "It was last year, months before the playoffs to the finals began. Before I had even heard of many of you. That was when it happened. The event that would forever model the way I looked at life......"
***
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It was Christmas Eve. But the time for families was not until later. It was currently about nine o'clock in the morning; the dedicated Rikkaidai regulars rose and pieces of their totally unimportant morning rituals and means of getting to school were shown in clips for no apparent reason other than to lengthen the episode.
It was a cool, windy day, hinting at snow later. The sort of day that promised a dazzling array of Hakugei, courtesy of Fuji Syuusuke. However, this is not a story of the overrated tensai of Seigaku. If this story ever gets going, we may see what it is really about. So as best to avoid getting distracted by random details, we shall skip to when the regulars were already paired up, and volleying back and forth on their school courts, except for Sanada, who for some reason doesn't have to practice, and Yukimura, who was currently dying in the hospital of a terrible disease.
Our subject of interest is Kirihara, who was on the losing end of a volleying match with Yanagi on the most outlying court.
Yanagi delivered a decisive hit, and Kirihara ran for it, but missed, ending up panting on all fours. Yanagi came to the net and was on the verge of saying some very cliché victory line, but changed his mind and instead congratulated Kirihara in a condescending way, telling him it had been a good match.
"You're too good, Yanagi-senpai," Kirihara gasped breathlessly, mopping up his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand.
"Ehh," Yanagi shrugged carelessly. "Not really. Few cool serves, fast footwork, and some data plays that are already overused by Inui. Nothing new."
"But I feel like everyone's got a cool move except for me." Kirihara complained, getting to his feet and coming to the net to shake Yanagi's hand. "I mean you and Your Data, Marui and his cake, Niou's cosplaying, Yagyuu's golf tennis, Sanada's family line thingy, Yukimura 'nuff said…" Kirihara trailed off, perhaps pensively or perhaps because he couldn't think of anything for Jackal.
"Well, you know your skills are still pretty good, even if you don't have some specific move that you unleash relentlessly." Yanagi comforted. "You don't even really have to know anything about tennis to be an acknowledged player. Look at Sengoku."
Sanada blew a whistle to signal that it was time for a brief break and the pair headed over to the water station.
"But I want something special." Whined Kirihara, scrabbling at the lid of his water bottle.
"Poor little Akaya," drawled Niou, who was passing with Marui, Niou and Jackal and had picked up on what they were talking about. "Doesn't have a trademark move."
"How did you guys get your moves?" Demanded Kirihara.
Feeling in the Christmas spirit, Yagyuu said sarcasticall, "Oh simple, just took a little visit to Santa Clause on the most magical night of the year and he gives you a great gift and then tells you everything you need to know about tennis and whatnot."
"Really?" Kirihara's eyes had gone as round as quarters. "Santa Clause? That's so cool!"
Yagyuu froze midway through the act of toweling himself off.
"You know, Yagyuu's right," Yanagi agreed, catching on. "I think that you would find that many of your problems and life's ambitions would be more easily solved if you had a consultation with the spirits of the future. A.K.A. Santa Clause"
"So you think I should try to meet him?" Kirihara ventured cautiously.
"Oh, well of course!" Said Yanagi, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Only someone as callous as the cold-hearted bastard, Marui, could find anything not to like about Santa."
Marui shrugged. "Better Santa than Frosty." He muttered.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Kirihara asked immediately.
Marui gazed levelly at his kouhai.
"…They say he's a jolly happy soul." Said Kirihara in a small voice.
"With a corncob pipe and a button nose and two eyes made out of coal." Added Niou.
"There must have been magic in that old silk hat they found," Yagyuu continued, "for when they placed it on his head, he came to life."
"He did?!" Kirihara damn near squealed.
"Of course he did." Yanagi smiled genially.
"And what did he do then?" Asked Kirihara eagerly.
"He raped the town's children." Marui answered bluntly.
Kirihara gasped and even the rest of the third years minus Sanada looked shocked. Then Kirihara's face turned from white to red.
"I don't believe you!" He cried. "Frosty is a kind soul that loves children!"
"Suit yourself." Marui turned to leave. "But just hope you don't meet him alone in a dark alley at night."
"Now, now, Marui, no need to be a cynic." Jackal chided lightly, just because he hadn't had a line yet.
"No but seriously, you should consider trying to meet him him." Yanagi said in a deadpan tone.
"He's right actually," agreed Marui. "I met him once as well. He really inspired me to improve myself and showed me that the only way I can make a name for myself in this anime is by eating inordinate amounts of sugar. That way the fangirls would be able to write amply about me in cute ways where I'm always overdosing."
"It's true." Affirmed Yagyuu, nodding as well. "I had nothing until he took a look at me and decided that I should pursue the gentleman front by pairing up with Niou. This technique would emphasize both his trickster-ness and my politeness. And look at us now! We're like, the second most popular pairing at Rikkaidai."
"Totally!" Niou interjected enthusiastically. Then he paused, frowning, and turned to Yagyuu. "Wait, then who's the number one pai—
"What the hell is going on here?" Sanada ironically interrupted at that point. "I whistled for you to return to your volleying three minutes ago!"
"But Fukubuchou, they were telling me about Santa Claus and how he really has the ability to see into people and help them realize their full potential!" Kirihara breathlessly informed his vice captain.
"Is that so?" Sanada's eye twitched as he turned on the knot of third years, who wished that they could dissolve in that one moment.
Most of them closed their eyes, bracing for a slap, except for Yanagi, who opened his.
Sanada, however, surprised them all.
"Well, they're absolutely right!" He crisply approved, nodding once to the sempais and turning back to Kirihara. "I wasn't sure that you were old enough to hear it, but if they all think that the time is ripe as well, then it must be right. The truth is, nearly every anime character goes to the wonderful man at least once in their lives to learn how to maximize his popularity. It's a wonderful practice. Did you know, that's the origin of my bitchslapping?"
Everyone was silent. Kirihara, because he was so awed that the sempais had been telling the truth—for if Sanada said so, then it had to be the truth—and the third years were speechless with shock that Sanada would do something as laid back as go along with a joke.
Sanada put a hand on Kirihara's shoulder in a fatherly way.
"I think you should definitely try to meet him, Akaya. It would be a growing experience for you and then I can have a little talk with your sempais in your absence."
The third years sagged, hearing this. They knew there had to be a catch.
"Oh, thank you, thank you!" Kirihara's eyes were alight with his innocence and he wrung Sanada's hand and then bolted to the changing rooms, intending on getting home as soon as possible to get ready for that evening.
This left Sanada and the other five regulars in a rather awkward silence. He turned slowly to face them.
"Listen, Genichirou…" began Yanagi awkwardly, although he did not know what he was going to say to justify himself. But Sanada was leaning towards them.
"Bloody brilliant." He said.
The other five did not know how to respond. No one had known that Sanada had a sense of humor.
Perhaps sensing this he added, "Work and dedication are important, but when you see an opportunity as golden as that, you've got to....what's the expression?....go for it, man."
Marui laughed nervously, astonished at this new side of the vice captain, as were they all. Sanada laughed too, and after a moment Niou joined in, and then Jackal and Yagyuu, and finally Yanagi, because he felt left out. They stood there, laughing uncontrollably for a few minutes.
"Fukubuchou...I...I never knew you had such a good sense of humour!" Exclaimed Marui, wiping a tear from his eye.
"Yes...well...." Sanada suddenly stopped laughing.
Everyone else stopped too, instantly aware that something was up.
"You're all a bunch of morons!" Sanada snapped. "Go run 100 laps! Now!"
"Awwwwwwww!" they all groaned and set out.
"Figures. I knew Sanada didn't have a sense of humor." Niou griped.
"Yeah, well, what can you expect from fuck-your-buchou?" Renji asked under his breath.
"I HEARD THAT!" Sanada shouted, blushing furiously. "200 laps!"
That night….
Yay, this is going to be the most awesomest night ever! Like the night I met the tooth fairy…only a thousand times awesomer! Kirihara thought.
He was so excited that he was pacing his room, unable to fall asleep, although he had heard that Santa didn't come until all the children were asleep. Finally, at about eleven, he decided that he should at least pretend to sleep so that Santa would come. Kirihara curled up in his Anakin Skywalker blanket and tried to relax. In his excitement, he had not picked up at all on the hushed voices outside his house or the faint sound of his front door opening.....
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.....Niou sighed angrily and plucked at his itchy beard which he was ninety percent sure was going to give him a rash tomorrow. Damn thing had more nettles in it than a swamp.
It was a series of peculiar, out of character, and unfortunate events worthy of Lemony Snicket that found the trickster of Rikkaidai decked out in a red woolen suit trimmed with fluffy white polyester. A pillow was strapped to his abdomen and it kept slipping, so every five minutes he had to discreetly hitch it up. A fuzzy white mustache made of cotton balls and scotch tape was adhered to his upper lip, which had begun to sweat from the heat of the clothes, so it was on the verge of falling off any moment.
Niou had tried to argue, no doubt, but there had been no argument good enough when Sanada had asked quite plainly which of the Rikkaidai regulars most resembled Santa Clause. "If you were ready to have Akaya believe such things, you must have been ready to back it up." Sanada had said sarcastically. Niou privately wondered how the hell Yukimura had approved this whole operation.
Anyway, Sanada had decided, partly as a punishment for tricking Kirihara, partly to prove he had a sense of humor, and partly just for his own perverted enjoyment, that Akaya would not be finding out this year that Santa Clause did not exist. Oh yes, when he crept down the staircase in his bunny slippers and scarlet robe, Santa would be puttering about the tree, putting out gifts for his favorite demon possessed child.
Which was where Niou came in. He would be posing as the magical, advice-giving white guy for Kirihara's enjoyment.
On the other hand, though, Niou had to admit that he was lucky in a way. Marui was currently wearing what looked like a shrunken green tutu (which it probably was) for his costume as an elf. Yagyuu, Yanagi, and Jackal were outside Akaya's house on their goddam knees in the snow, being reindeer, while hitched to an old sled of Sanada's. Jackal kneeled in the front with a shiny red knob on the end of his nose. When Jackal had asked why he had to be Rudolph, Sanada had simply replied, "because you're black". How that made sense was anyone's guess. Anyway, the three of them were currently freezing their asses off, not to mention more embarrassed than Sanada must have been after losing to Echizen.
Speaking of Sanada, he was calmly strolling around the outside of Kirihara's house with a video camera, taping the predicament of them all with a peppermint hot chocolate in one hand. He was vaguely considering sending the video as a Christmas gift to Yukimura.
The five third years minus Sanada were all just praying for midnight, so they could get this stupid operation over with......
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........Kirihara also couldn't wait for midnight, but for quite a different reason. He knew that when the clock struck twelve, the fun began. This was the day where he would meet the man who had defined the lives of so many before him. There was nothing standing between him and the highest position in the popularity polls now. Well, nothing except that damn Fuji Syuusuke.
To everyone's immense relief, the clock finally struck once…twice…three times…blahblahblah…twelve.
Kirihara wrenched off his blanket and bounded out of bed into his fluffy bunny slippers that he had kept nearby. Racing out of his room, he snatched his crimson house robe off the hook near the door. Upon reaching the summit of the staircase, Kirihara stopped short and gazed out into his living room. He could see a plump silhouette near his Christmas tree.
"Santa…" Kirihara breathed, hardly able to believe his eyes. Then loudly, "Santa!" He cried, bounding down the staircase, taking steps four at a time.......
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......."Santa!"
Damn. Niou hastily straightened in a cold sweat. He had been idly examining the Kirihara family collection of manga and was unpleasantly jolted by the sound of Kirihara's eager, joyful voice. What the hell was he supposed to do now? Damn that Marui! He had eaten all the cookies and he, Santa, could really use a boost of sugar right about now to get him thinking! Rather than milk and cookies they should leave alcohol out for the poor man, Niou realized.
"Oh Santa," Kirihara gasped, reaching the floor landing, his eyes glowing. "You really made it!"
"Ahem…of course I did!" Niou invented wildly, while Marui observed from the shadows of the kitchen, doubled over in silent laughter. "How could I not with my superb reindeer?"
"Rudolph's here?" Kirihara squealed and bolted to the window to look out. "Oh no, it's too foggy, I can't see out—
"That's okay!" Niou shouted, blocking Kirihara's view out the window with his body. "Don't you want to see what Santa's brought you, child?"
"May I?" Kirihara was oozing joy.
"Sure, sonny." Niou wouldn't have been talking like this if, in the instant that he had glanced out the window when he prevented Akaya from looking out, he hadn't seen Sanada give him a death glare saying quite plainly, "Screw up one thing for him and you die."
"Let's just see what I've got," Niou said, rummaging around through his tennis bag that Sanada had forced him to paint brown for the occasion. "What would you like this year, son?"
"Oh, anything, Santa!" Kirihara was quite beside himself and wouldn't have minded if he had gotten a dictionary.
Niou pretended to feel around through the bag for something suitable to give his kouhai, although there was only one real gift inside. The rest was empty tissue boxes and Styrofoam squares that Sanada had filled the bag with to give it more shape. Niou finally produced a box with a logo of a dash mark on the front. He presented it to Kirihara, who accepted it excitedly and examined the top.
"Nike," he read uncertainly, pronouncing the word as if it rhymed with "bike".
"It's Nik-E, you dunderhead," Niou hissed under his breath.
"What was that, Santa?" Kirihara looked up, unable to believe that Santa had just called him stupid.
Niou laughed tensely. "Nothing! Just open it!"
Kirihara obliged, lifting the orange lid off the box and peeling back the tissue paper that lined the box.
"Whoa!"
He produced a pair of green Chuck Taylor wannabes.
"These are really cool, Santa!" He cried, examining the shoes from every angle.
Damn straight. Sanada had forced Niou, as Santa, to buy a gift for Kirihara, and a nice one at that, and Niou had been forced to spend all of his birthday money on the shoes.
Niou forced a smile. "Well, I'm glad you like them," he said, and it was half true. "The great thing is, they're not only cool looking, but you can wear them while you're playing your favorite sport. Niou put on a misty, faraway look, like he was reading Kirihara's mind. "You play tennis, right?"
"Wow! That's right!" Kirihara was in awe. "You really can read minds!" Kirihara beamed, making a mental note to ask for career advice later. He looked down at the canvas shoes and then back up at Santa. "These are super-cool, Santa, but you know, I don't actually think they would work all that well while I'm playing tennis."
Niou froze. "…What do you mean, 'they wouldn't work well'?"
"No, no, no, don't get me wrong!" Kirihara's eyes widened innocently. "They're great shoes, but I just don't think they're for running around in."
"Not good…not good for…" Niou had spent all his birthday money on those shoes. He would be damned if they weren't good for everything.
Seeing that Santa was on the verge of freaking out, Kirihara said again, "I really like them!"
"Like them!" Niou screamed. "Like them? They're amazing! You can wear them all the time, whether you're at a party or in a tennis match! I read it online! They're tennis shoes for God's sake!"
"Tennis shoes?" Kirihara furrowed his brow. "Where did you get these, Santa?"
"I bought them off Zappos!" Niou roared.
"An American site? I thought so." Kirihara affirmed, nodding. "To tell you the truth Santa, I think in English, 'tennis shoe' is just a general term meaning 'any kind of shoe that provides full coverage and is good for walking'. It doesn't necessarily mean that the shoe is good for tennis."
"Oh, really? Thanks, I didn't realize!" Niou snarled sarcastically. "I guess I should have consulted Mr.-English-Hot-Shot here before buying!"
"Hey, how did you know English is my worst subject?" asked Kirihara, not noticing the insult at all. "You really are amazing!"
Niou slapped his forehead and turned away from the younger boy, pressing his forehead against the cool window in an attempt to get his temper under control.
Kirihara seemed to realize finally that Santa was deeply unhappy and he watched the fat man sadly, still clutching the shoes lovingly.
After about one minute of silence, Kirihara slowly approached Santa and said in a small voice, "Well, I really do like them, sports shoes or not."
Then he lifted his arms and wrapped them around the torso of Santa from behind, burying his face into the back of the red jacket.
Niou felt nothing but shock. Despite his frustration at the situation he was in and the stupidity of his teammates, he felt strangely touched that Kirihara had so much love in his heart for a man that he did not even know existed until a few minutes ago.
Niou sighed exhaustedly and shut his eyes. "I'm glad you like them, son."
They stood like that for a few moments, then Kirihara unwound his arms and stepped back.
Oops.
Guess that costume wasn't so well made. As Kirihara moved back, the pillow in Niou's jacket slipped and fell out from under his shirt.
There was a brief silence. Then Kirihara screamed so loudly that he woke Marui, who had fallen asleep in the kitchen, and snapped the bored-to-tears regulars outside out of their daze.
"Y-Y-You're not Santa!" Kirihara cried, backing up, and tripping over the carpet, still clutching the shoes to his chest.
"Akaya, please!" Niou panicked. "I can explain!"
"Who are you!?" Kirihara shrilled. In one darting movement, the younger boy sprang forward and ripped off the moustache from Niou's face.
He gasped.
"Niou-senpai!"
Realizing that his disguise had been foiled, Niou bowed his head and covered his face. Then, very slowly, he unbuttoned his far-too-hot jacket and peeled off the nettled beard. "…'sup, kid?"
Kirihara, surprisingly, laughed. "Thank goodness," he mumbled, running one hand through his curls. "When I first realized it was a fraud….for a second I thought…. maybe Frosty…"
Niou rolled his eyes. Marui had made them all paranoid.
"But putting that aside, what the hell are you doing in my house?" Kirihara questioned.
Niou was spared answering because at that moment, the front door opened and Sanada entered, tucking his video camera away calmly into a satchel.
"That was beautiful, you guys." He said solemnly, regarding them seriously. "Good work, Niou." Then he turned to Kirihara. "I tried to protect your innocence and keep your belief in Santa Clause alive, Akaya, at great personal expense—Niou rolled his eyes—but you discovered the truth anyhow." Sanada bowed his head. "Please accept our humblest apologies."
"So…none of it was real?" Kirihara sadly asked, staring at his feet.
"Well, you can keep the shoes," Sanada said, earning a glare from Niou, "but pretty much, yeah, it was all a joke."
"I see," Kirihara sighed heavily and suddenly looked five years older. "I knew it was too good to be true. The presents, the fortunetelling, the magic….one person can't have it all." He looked up. "But I appreciate your efforts to keep me believing." His two sempais nodded somberly. "Everyone has to grow up sometime, right?"
The room was quiet then.
"So," said Kirihara, "where's the rest of the team?"
Sanada and Niou showed Kirihara where the rest of the boys were hiding and they all had a good laugh, and then Kirihara stood on his doorstep, bidding goodnight to all of them as they parted to go home. He was still cradling the shoes.
That was when it happened. As the regulars were preparing to leave Kirihara's house and he stood alone on the doorstep, watching his own breath puff out before him like smoke from a train. He heard a distinct laugh and his head and all the regulars turned to its source, the sky.
Over the moon, Kirihara could just make out the merest shadow of a sleigh and something pulling it, gliding effortlessly through the night air…yet the shape was strangely familiar…
"IT'S SANTA!" Kirihara screamed, instantly forgetting everything he had said in his mini-speech seconds before....
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***
"And that's the night I realized that Santa Clause exists." Said Kirihara. He smirked at all of them, stretching his arms over his head. "So whatcha think? Pretty awesome, huh?"
"Do Japanese people even celebrate Christmas?" Touji asked vaguely.
"Your story didn't really make sense." Shinji said.
"Whaddaya mean, playa?" Kirihara asked.
"Well, how could you have known things about the times that you weren't even there?"
Kirihara pondered this in silence. "...various...people filled me in." he said finally.
No on really thought that was a good explanation, but since we all kind of like Kirihara despite his attitude, they clapped and let him sit back next to them instead of next to Kaidoh and Choutarou.
"But on the other hand," Ichiuma got to his feet and suddenly pulled a microphone out of nowhere, "Coming up next time....."
"Yuuta's tale!" cried Ichirou.
"Brought to you by........YUUTA!" They both screamed.
Yuuta sat in the corner looking pissed off and slightly dreading the next chapter.
oOoOo
A/N:
I can't quite remember now, but I think I once read somewhere that Kirihara still believes in Santa Clause. I decided to.....expand on this idea a little.
Look forward to supplementary reading: Santa vs. Frosty! :)
Someday I'll write a sentence without a smiley at the end. But that day won't be for a while.