WHAT IF
Chapter 9 - A Nervous Flutter
"Good God, Hermione, would you please open the door? I want to know if it fits properly." Her mother tapped against the door of the small changing room while Hermione stared at her reflection in the large mirror.
Hermione and her mother were on the last shopping trip before Hermione would spend the last two weeks of the holidays at the Burrow. Hermione's mother insisted that her daughter needed a few sets of new clothes, especially new underwear and bras. Hermione wasn't so sure about that. Till now she had only worn soft bralettes without a wire and those had been fine. But now her mum insisted that Hermione needed real bras, a lot of them since who knew how much her breast would grow during the new school year.
Hermione inspected herself in the mirror again. She wore a bra in a soft blue with a tiny bit of lace and matching panties. It looked… okay? Maybe even good? Maybe she was just self-conscious. During the summer holidays, her body had changed quite a bit.
Her waist was getting slimmer - or was it that her hips were getting wider? And her breast had grown. Hermione could clearly see the changes in her figure and how she grew up to become a woman. Maybe other people didn't see it, but Hermione was well aware. And that made her a bit insecure, an annoying new character trait. Hermione had never been insecure about her body before, she didn't give a damn about her looks normally. She had never minded her hair or her clothes - only her teeth were a sore spot. But now she constantly thought about how she should dress so that she looked appropriate. She didn't want to show off her new curves.
"Hermione! I swear, I will come in if I have to." Her mother threatened.
"Then come in! I will surely not come out there half naked." Hermione growled back and she herself realised, that she sounded like a stubborn child.
"There are only women here." A huff escaped her mother from the other side of the door.
"Well, I don't want strangers to see me in only my underwear." Hermione hissed, but then her mother simply opened the door with one swift move.
"MUM!" Hermione clasped her arm in front of her body.
"Don't be so dramatic. Let me see. How is it in the back? Too tight? And the cups?" Her mother expertly started to muster the fitting of the bra while Hermione watched herself blush in the mirror.
"Mum…"
"Don't Mum me, young lady. You have to get good underwear now. You won't be back till next summer and you yourself said that there are no shops for bras at this village, what is it called? Hogsheade?"
"Hogsmeade," Hermione muttered defeated. Now that her mother was on the roll there was no stopping her. With a sigh, Hermione changed into bras of all sizes and colours and showed them to her Mum.
After one hour they were finally finished and went to their favourite bakery, got themselves a few pieces of different cakes and went home for tea. Hermione's father was still at work - her mother had taken the day off at their dentistry - and so the Granger women had the afternoon to themselves.
"Hermione, there is something I have to talk to you about." Her mother sat down her teacup gingerly. "You're almost fifteen now and I think it's time we talk about what it means for a woman to grow up."
"Oh Mum, really, that's not necessary. You already gave me that book last year." Hermione felt her face heat up as her mother pulled out a box and opened it. Inside were several different items like condoms, sanitary pads and tampons.
"No, Hermione, we should talk about this. Some things you can't learn from books and I want to do this before you leave for the Weasleys next week. I don't want you to be in this kind of situation on your own and don't know what to do. After all, you don't have any kind of biology lessons or sex education in Hogwarts." Her mother crinkled her nose at this.
"So, if you get your period for the first time…" Hermione sat down, silent and deeply embarrassed, while her mother explained to her the correct uses of different women hygiene products. It was kind of weird for Hermione to not be the one who asked a thousand questions about something, but somehow she was not comfortable with this topic. Especially with her mum being the one lecturing her.
It got even weirder when her mother changed the topic and started to talk about sex. And not just the typical when-a-man-and-a-woman-love-each-other-lecture, but more like talking about the hard facts of losing your virginity, about how pleasurable sex could be for women and how it all worked. Hermione was, of course, interested, but she bit her tongue and just nodded. By now she was completely mortified and embarrassed.
"So, it seems like getting married and having children is something witches and wizards do a lot… sooner than we muggles and I'm not sure if it's a cultural thing or just a lack of contraceptive." Again, there was this crinkle and the slightly disapproving tone in her mother's voice.
"I packed an assortment of different condoms and the pill for you. If you want to have sex, I want you to use them. And don't be stupid and wait for the boy to take charge of the contraception. You're going to be the one who will be pregnant so you're the one who has to be careful. Boys at your age are stupid, hormonal idiots and don't think twice about things. And if one of them tells you that he doesn't want to wear a condom, well then I hope you will walk away as fast as possible. Because, remember, the pill only prevents a pregnancy, a condom also prevents getting a sexually transmitted disease."
"Merlin Mum, calm down. I'm not going to have sex the next school year." Hermione buried her face in her hands. She was fourteen!
"Maybe not next year, but someday you will and I want you to know everything you need." With that, her mother shoved a few booklets with information at her and Hermione was glad to go up to her room with the order to look at them and the box of hygiene products and contraceptives.
Hermione read through the information quickly and found that she knew most of it already. In theory, she knew everything about how her body changed and would further change in the next years. And she knew everything about sex, theoretically. But she was still too young to really think about sex as something she wanted to… do herself. Merlin, she was only fourteen. She hadn't even had her first kiss yet.
There isn't even someone I want to kiss, Hermione thought as she falls down on her bed. But for a second the image of a cheeky smile and freckles flashed through her mind.
Nope, no one I want to kiss, she decided and pushed the image away
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Hermione inspected herself one last time in the bathroom mirror. Her hair was neatly braided, her clothes fit perfectly and her teeth were still too large, but a least clean. A huff escaped her. Why was he so nervous? She had met Ron's family several times in the last years and both Mr and Mrs Weasley were lovely people. There was no reason to be so anxious about making a good impression.
"Hermione!" Her father's voice called shaky from the living room. "I think they're coming."
With a grin Hermione picked up her small handbag, her trunk and Crookshanks wooden basket were already downstairs and jumped down the stairs. In his letters, Ron had forgotten to mention which way of transportation the Weasleys would use to pick her up and Hermione was equally anxious and overjoyed about it. She had always wanted to use the floo network or side-along apparition.
Hermione stepped into the room right on time to see Fred and George stumble out of her parents' fireplace. Mr Weasley was already there and talked with her parents, who honestly seemed a bit confused. Maybe the wizard was asking them questions about their muggle home and technology.
"Little Miss Granger, splendid to see you." Fred grinned at her and for a second Hermione forgot all about the ability to speak. Had he always been so tall? And his hair, had it been so long before the summer?
"How is our favourite bookworm?" George winked as he brushed some dirt from the fireplace off Fred's shoulder. That snapped Hermione out of her awkward shock.
"I'm fine, thank you." She answered in an overly polite manner. The twins both raised an eyebrow but before they could make a comment Ron stumbled out of the fireplace.
"Hermione!" With an excited smile, he ran towards her and hugged her. Never in her life had Hermione been gladder about the fact that Ron was a master at interrupting others.
"There's so much I have to tell you and show you. We will pick up Harry tomorrow and then there's the Cup and-"
"Merlin Ron, try to breathe in between." George rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, can't have you faint over the excitement of seeing the fair Lady Hermione again." Fred winked and Ron blushed. Somehow this conversation made Hermione really uncomfortable and she was relieved when Mr Weasley announced that they would floo to the Burrow now.
Quickly Hermione said goodbye to her parents, promised to write often and then stepped into the fireplace, in her hands Crookshanks' basket. She took a deep breath and clearly pronounced The Burrow while throwing the floo powder.
The first thing Hermione saw when she opened her eyes was Ginny Weasley, standing in front of the overly large fireplace. The redhead was wearing casual clothes and a look of excitement and joy took over her face.
"Hermione!" Ginny pulled her out of the floo and hugged her. "I missed you so much, you have no idea." Quickly Ginny pulled Hermione upstairs before one of the others had time to come through the floo, and showed her a small, but cosy and nice room with two beds.
"You're sharing with me. I know it's not big, but I promise its way cleaner than the boys' rooms and not as stinky. And I don't snore."
"That hurts, little sister." The twins walked into the room and put Hermione's trunk in front of one of the beds.
"Yeah, don't reveal our secrets like that. Hermione should discover herself whom of us snores." Fred snickered and George winked, both with a cheeky grin. But Hermione found that Fred's grin was just a bit cheekier and… cuter?
Nope! Not cute, not at all. Hermione pushed the thought aside and followed Ginny back to the living room, where Ron was already waiting.
Hermione spent the day with Ron and Ginny, both telling her every detail about their holidays so far. They also introduced her to their two oldest brothers Bill and Charlie. Hermione was of course fascinated by Bill and Charlie, who both worked in interesting and challenging - and also quite dangerous - fields and were truly amazing.
Bill as a curse breaker was truly amazing as he had had almost the same subjects as Hermione. And with a small wink, he told her that he too had used the Time-Turner for only one year.
Charlie, on the other hand, was obviously a man who liker danger and dangerous animals and Hermione was amazed by the complicated magic he used at the reserve to keep the dragons in check.
After a few hours, Hermione felt almost at home at the Burrow and was more than glad that she had accepted Ron's invitation. For a few days, she had seriously considered not to go since he had been so terrible towards her during the last school year. She still struggled with accepting that now everyone acted as nothing had happened. But Hermione enjoyed staying at the Burrow immensely and decided that she had made a good decision.
The only one who enjoyed the stay even more than she was probably Crookshanks. The cat spent every minute outside, sleeping in the sun or chasing after the gnomes.
After the dinner everyone was sitting together at the living room, playing exploding snap or talking with each other. Hermione was playing a really intense game against Bill and Ginny when the peace and quiet were interrupted by a loud and frightening BANG. At once Mrs Weasley jumped up and started to run upstairs.
"What are you two thinking?!" Her screaming sounded through the whole house and didn't seem to stop.
"Mum found out that Fred and George are planning to open a joke shop. They already had forms for owl deliveries ready and a whole line of products." Ron's voice was a conspirative whisper. "Apparently that's the reason they both didn't do so well on their O.W.L.s. Mum is livid."
"They're calling it Weasley's Wizard Wheezes," Ginny explained with glowing eyes.
Hermione looked towards the ceiling and winced when she realised that Mrs Weasley was still screaming at the twins in full force. Till now she had only seen the older woman as a caring and sweet person. But Mrs Weasley clearly had quite the temper, Hermione realised when she remembered the howler back in their second year.
And Hermione vaguely asked herself if Fred and George really deserved that much screaming.
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"Did you hear that? I think they're back." Eagerly Ginny jumped up from their sunbathing place in the garden. Hermione followed her quickly, also eager to finally see Harry again. Mr Weasley, Ron, Fred and George had gone to pick up Harry from his relatives half an hour ago. Ginny and Hermione had wanted to go with them but Mrs Weasley insisted that too many people wouldn't make a good impression of Harry's family.
When Hermione walked into the kitchen Mrs Weasley was again scolding Fred and George for something they had done. Hermione wasn't sure what it was but she thought she heard the words cousin and gigantic tongue.
From the corner of her eye, Hermione saw how Ginny blushed when Harry smiled at her and she rolled her eyes at that. Ginny finally needed to learn how to talk with Harry without behaving like a little girl.
Hermione greeted Harry right as Mrs Weasley started to warm up with her scolding. The woman became louder and louder and harsh words were said. Silently Ginny, Ron, Harry and Hermione decided to leave the room. But on her way-out Hermione caught the look on Fred's face and for a second she just stared at him. There was a look of embarrassment and shame in his eyes, but also anger and… defiance?
Hermione felt her face heat up and quickly followed the others. She was half-aware that Ron and Ginny explained Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes to Harry and how the three of them laughed about the prank the twins had played of Dudley. Hermione found she couldn't laugh with the others about it. She was too confused about her own feelings.
She didn't like it at all that Mrs Weasley was so harsh to the twins. Hermione also couldn't get Fred's face and his impression of defeat out of her mind. On the other hand, Hermione also couldn't approve of the dangerousness of some of the twins' inventions.
Later that day when everyone was gathering for a big family gathering and dinner the mood was tremendously better. Fred and George were joking again with all their brothers while Hermione and Ginny helped to set the tables outside. Well, or they tried to. Bill and Charlie were levitating the tables and battled them against each other, which made it a bit difficult to prepare them for dinner. But Hermione didn't mind at all.
It was nice to witness the leisure ease between all of the Weasley siblings. The seven of them were all joking, laughing and bickering with each other and even Percy eased up a bit in the presence of his older brothers. Hermione, who had only known Percy as the oldest Weasley and the one who was responsible for his younger siblings, was amazed by the thought that there had been a time when he had been the youngest at Hogwarts, with Bill and Charlie looking after him.
"Enjoying yourself, Hermione?" Fred sat down beside Hermione, who was watching the spectacle from the sidelines on a bench.
"Yeah, your brothers are quite the entertainers." Hermione tried to smile but she was absolutely sure that she sounded and looked ridiculous. She felt ridiculous. Her face heated up again and her heartbeat began to stutter. A nervous flutter in her stomach made her want to jump up and run away.
"Well, we learned from the best. Now if you excuse me, there is a brother who still needs to loosen up a bit." Fred winked and with that he was off again, chasing after Percy together with George. The twins placed little firecrackers on Percy's robes while he tried to escape them. Little bangs and booms sounded through the garden as Mrs Weasley finally arrived with the food.
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Hermione woke up at the crack of dawn the next morning. It was too early, way too early. No one should stand up at this time of the day Hermione decided and almost turned around to get some more sleep.
"H'mione, need get up. The cup" slurred Ginny beside her in the other bed and Hermione vaguely remembered why they had to get up so early.
The Quidditch Cup! The biggest event ever in the magical community and Hermione would be able to witness it. Within seconds she was wide awake and up and quickly changed into her clothes. But the tiredness was still deep in her bones and when she arrived at the kitchen with Ginny both of them yawned. The boys were already eating breakfast and looked at lot readier and more awake. They were even discussing Quidditch during this early hour. Hermione settled for tea and a bit of toast - she wasn't a big eater that early in the morning.
Half an hour later they started their travel towards the Cup. Hermione listened intently to Mr Weasley when he explained how they would travel via a portkey and tried to remember every detail about. Portkey was a way of transportation Hermione had never heard of before and she was fascinated with the prospect of using it herself. It sounded exciting.
"Ah, and that must be Cedric." Mr Weasley announced when they met Amos Diggory, who had already found the portkey. Hermione vaguely remembered his son as an older Hufflepuff student who also played Quidditch for his house team, but she had forgotten that he was the one who had defeated Harry last year during the incident with the Dementors.
Surprised Hermione witnessed the scowls on Fred and George's faces when Amos Diggory proudly reminded everyone of Cedric's success.
"Pfh, he was lucky that those Dementors knocked Harry out." George angrily whispered.
"Yeah, and I really don't get how Angelina thinks he's good-looking. He too daft too even formulate one intelligent sentence." Fred mumbled and a little stitch penetrated Hermione's heart. She remembered how Angelina, Alicia and Katie had talked about Cedric Diggory last year. And she remembered clearly that Fred had said something similar back then.
Sure, he was good looking. The dark hair and the friendly eyes, and he had a nice smile. All in all, Cedric was the typical nice boy from next door. Moreover, Cedric was polite and fair and not one to show off with his skills and achievements. But still, Hermione thought nothing of him when the older boy smiled at her briefly.
"Okay, hold on." Mr Weasley announced suddenly and from one second to the other the portkey began to glow. Hermione felt a pull in her navel and then was whisked away. The world spun around her like a carousel - a carousel that was driving way too fast - and changed around her.
With a thumb, Hermione landed on the floor while a tired Ministry worker talked with Mr Weasley. Mr Weasley, Mr Diggory and Cedric were the only ones who had managed to land gracefully and on their feet while all the others were laying on the grass beside Hermione.
"Merlin," Fred and George groaned simultaneously and got up. George offered his hand to Ginny while Fred offered his to Hermione. Without thinking she took it and let him pull her up. But Fred used a bit too much force and Hermione leapt forward and almost landed in his arms. She just managed to stop her movement millimetres away from his chest and looked up at Fred with wide eyes.
Fred just grinned. This cheeky smile. This cheeky, cute smile, that made Hermione's heart jump a bit. His dark blue eyes twinkled and for the first time, Hermione realised how much taller Fred was than her. And how wide his shoulders and his back were. His hair was standing in different directions from the fall and the spinning portkey and Hermione had to suppress the urge to flatten his hair with her fingers.
"You good, Granger?" Fred asked carefully as Hermione just stared at him. She nodded silently.
"Okay, let's go search for our camping place." Mrs Weasley happily walked off, the others in tow. Fred smiled and bumped Hermione's shoulder, implying that she should follow him. A nervous flutter spread through her stomach at the touch and Hermione tried to convince herself that it was only a late side effect of the portkey. But she wasn't very successful with that. A nagging voice deep inside of her knew that this was because of Fred.
I'm terribly sorry that it took me so long. I think I'm battling a minor writer's block right now. I know where I want to go with the story and I knew how everything has to happen but I'm unable to write it down. It took me forever to write this chapter and I still felt like it's no good. Everything I write right now seems like shit to me… I hope it gets better quickly. Maybe it's just the autumn getting to me, you know. The darker days, the coldness, the rain and everything.