Note: There's a reason I didn't label or warn about this story being a 'death fic', because it's not ;)
Chapter 10
"Derek?" I was shaken up and I opened my eyes to a bright sun, blinding me. I blinked few times to recognize Hotch pulling me off from the ground. I suddenly retracted.
"NO, I'm staying here" I said pulling myself back.
"Morgan! This is a cemetery, you need to go home, now. We were looking for you since two days now. Have you got any idea!" He almost scolded me.
"Get up now" he ordered. I shook my head.
"I feel good here, why can't I stay?" I asked. Hotch looked tense and exchanged a glance with Rossi now kneeling beside him.
"Because dead people stay here" Rossi spoke as if he was talking to a silly child.
"I like it here" I begged but Hotch just pulled me up. No one could separate me from my happiness again. I heaved furiously and slapped Hotch away.
"No means no!" I yelled "Go away, you all. Leave me alone for once. It's my choice where I choose to live, go away" I sat back down running my hand over the grave feeling the cold mud underneath playfully cheering me up. Hotch stood there watching the dishevelled Morgan.
It was the moment to call for help, nurses and paramedic walking over towards me within few minutes. They were going to take me away, forever breaking me down. But, I gave them a fight, resisting, punching but no one understood what it meant for me to stay. No one had an idea that this was the only place where I could sleep again, I could laugh and relax. To the world, the cruel, the very cruel world, I was a burden now. Only, you, Reid knew what I was going through.
They dragged my body in the mud, but trust me Reid, my strength lost to their numbers. They labelled me violent, of course, I would kill anyone who now came in our way. I was not mad but overly sad. I was no threat to anyone, lying there quietly with your grave ...but one couldn't digest seeing me happy.
They put me here, in four walls, shooting me up with chemicals, poisons to my thoughts. I didn't want the induced sleep. I was restrained because I was ready to run off, back to my heaven escaping this emotionless world, back to your remains.
Sometimes, I thought how you used to be, as living, playful child like nerd. If I hadn't met Carl, then I wouldn't have met you either and you might be still alive. I took it all from you.
Time, started to pass. Others came to meet me but I didn't speak to Hotch. He wanted me to stay here, all alone. That is when, I started to read his journal, understanding what Reid went through. Emily, once came over to visit. She told me the details of his autopsy report after I insisted forever.
Reid, died because of extensive internal bleeding, he was beaten severely the last few days of his life by many people, further investigation revealed a lot about Sam Elliot. His mansion kept hundreds of his artworks all focused on Reid. Some of which he even sold to others. He left Reid to his couple of friends when travelling internationally. The friends abused him, playing with human life like a pet, even a pet deserved none of them. The painful story, too sad to hear, crippled every nerve inside me and the others at the trial. Reid went into a traumatic state bearing the torture of those animals but when Sam Elliot returned he couldn't believe his subject was bleeding to death internally. He took his revenge, killing the friends instantly but one had managed to escape and later was arrested by our investigation team revealing the story to the court.
He described how Sam Elliot told them to look over Ried while he went off to Italy for three weeks. He guiltily accepted treating Reid like an animal, feeding him food only in a bowl where he couldn't use his hands. He had to walk on his knees and hands, never allowed to stand the whole time he stayed there. He said, he never heard Reid say a word, only his cries. He wasn't allowed to speak, he was an animal to them after all. He mentioned they were on drugs and didn't know they were doing anything wrong. Reid didn't comply at first but they threatened to kill him.
"For some reason, he just wanted to live so badly, he did anything for it" the man testified in the court. Although, I couldn't attend the trial, Emily kept me informed.
Even, Sam felt terrible seeing how bad Reid was kept there and took him back home, trying to recover him back. With no medical attention, Reid just kept falling apart gradually within hours. Elliot tired all methods brining him to talk again, to share his grief but he had forgotten how to produce speech. At last, he went to his room, searching for something to trigger him back, probably reading some of his journal, finding out about me.
He searched up my number and called me that day. Even, then Reid showed no response to my voice. His memory was affected, parts of brain already degenerated. He had forgotten me by then. My voice almost went unheard to his ears. Thus, Sam Elliot gave up on the phone.
The next day, we made it there but somehow Reid took the gun in his hands and stood up one last time to take his enemy with him, firing all the bullets he had, over killing Sam. He kept shooting despite Sam was now on the floor, the bullets went straight, to the glass windows, doorway shattering everything and that's when Hotch figured out where the actions was happening. He carefully entered and witnessed Reid falling back. Hotch ran off as he fell to laws of gravity, lifelessly.
Reid was simple tragedy to the ears. I rocked back and forth on my chair occupied with thoughts, memories. I was insane. It was too sad to bear, too sad to hope for anything anymore. But, I was wrong. After darkness, comes light. After 6 months of therapy care, I had no change in me, going towards the worse. I had the journal memorized. Psychiatrics saw no hope but God did and then something happened to change everything. The day I figured out what happens when someone dies.
x
x
Hotch came to visit me, brought a hand-made card from Jack saying "Get well soon". Oh, the childish innocence finally pulled a smile on my face. I still refrained from talking to Hotch.
"Morgan, six months is a long time to be away from everything" He spoke sitting across in my therapy room. I kept my eyes on the card.
"Fine, don't talk but I think it's time you come out of this, start living a normal life again" he said. I looked up.
"Normal life?" I asked harshly startling Hotch.
"I mean to sa-"
"YOU have no idea, NO IDEA, of my life..Hotch!" I said loudly. Hotch got up.
"Stop being so defensive, I'm only talking about your good" He said.
"Keep that to yourself cuz' there's no good for me no more" I lightly replied. I returned back to examining the card, the paper crumpling in my hands. Hotch sat back again allowing me to cool down. The mood swings were normal thing now.
"Tomorrow is the last day of the trial" Hotch said but I chose to ignore him "A decision will be made against Carl and others involved".
"But, we need to present one last thing to the court...and..it happens to be with you" He said. I looked up.
"What's that?" I asked.
"The journal entries Reid wrote" He said and a blazing fire flamed inside me. I stood up.
"There's no way, Hotch, back off now, I don't wanna hurt you" I warned stepping back towards the bed. He stood.
"Morgan calm down , it's important, I'll promise I will return it to you" He said.
"NOOOO!" I yelled "NEVER!" I madly warned.
"Don't you trust me?"
"I hate you like everything in the universe!"
"I think Reid would want to present his journal to the case, to get justice, he wrote it for that cause" Hotch said.
"HE wrote it for me, only for me. Now, leave me alone" I said returning back to my bed leaving Hotch all powerless.
"Don't you want to avenge Reid's death?" Hotch asked "sitting here in four walls won't do it".
"I'm not giving up the journal!" I boldly replied. He gave it another thought.
"Fine, then bring it yourself to the court" Hotch suggested. Reid's tormented story flicked in front of my eyes, painful ending, a revenge was needed. I nodded back at him.
"Thank you, I'll pick you up in the morning" Hotch left afterwards. I felt bad hurting Hotch with my bitter attitude but I had no control over it. I didn't hate him but I liked nothing either.
I slipped the papers out from under my pillow, they were more dearer to me than my life, a symbol of the struggle my broken relationship went through. I pulled a page out and read: Morgan, you're going to be the end of me .I smiled reading the line over and over again, imagining his voice saying it, standing in front of me.
I shuffled the papers around, looking for the last page. The hand writing by now were mere smear of words, reflecting all the pain it took to write them.
" I loved your world, your ways, you're wonderful, but I am done now" I read out loud and my eyes went over to the window. The evening was approaching now, and it made me think, this was the world Reid wanted to stay in despite all odds. He fought to be here, where I was, living, breathing, still watching the sunset. Maybe, I should go out tomorrow and present the journal to the court.
The nurse entered, holding my dinner tray with medicines. It was time to force myself to sleep.
...
Medicines eliminated their effects after seven hours and that's when I woke up to another lonely morning. It had been many days since I stepped out from this room. I pulled my chair and sat in front of the window, waiting for the sun to rise, ray by ray stealing the darkness away and spreading the bright wings of light, enchanting the living.
Then, breakfast, medicines, shaving, showering, changing of clothes. I prepared to re-enter the world again hands in hands with Reid's journal. I sat in Hotch's vehicle. He exchanged greetings. I looked out the window, peering at the world through the glass.
"I loved your world, your ways..." echoed in my mind like how music buzzes in our heads.
I looked at the roads, filled with people, all on their ways, shops busy with businesses, traffic lights guiding traffic, birds migrating to spring, new grass sprouting out surviving the cold winter, the world just seemed to move on. It was me locked in time. I arrived at the court not exchanging glances with anyone, even Hotch. I walked inside and seated myself, my grip on the papers hardened. Emily entered and took a seat beside me.
"I'm so glad to see you!" She exclaimed. I nodded in response. "We miss you around". By now, Hotch was here too waiting for the proceedings to start. Emily, put her hand on top of mine, smiling.
"We want you back" She whispered looking in my eyes.
"I like it there now" I replied. She puppy-eyed at me, like how Reid used to do.
"How about for one dinner with us tonight, please?" She asked lifting my hand in her hands. I gave it a thought.
"OK".
"YES!" and she straightened herself in her seat texting Garcia. I wouldn't say they didn't miss Reid but they moved on better than I did. Maybe, I didn't want to leave all this behind.
Thanks for all the reviews. Love you all!