A/N- Thanks for the comments! This chapter is hard on our couple.

Btw – Jason is young and it's still just a few years after the accident. So, you have to think about him from that standpoint. He was always fearful of people around him getting hurt. That is nothing different than the show. He was more reactive back then and emotional. If you get a chance, watch the breakup scene with him and Robin in 1996. It's what got Steve an Emmy and is phenomenal.

Angst warning. This chapter is tough.

Chapter 10

"Emily! What happened?" Elizabeth asked as she hurries towards her friend.

"Epiphany was shot."

All the color drains from Liz's face. "What?"

"Apparently, she was talking to my brother and someone shot her and said that she should be careful who her friends are."

Tears prick her eyes. "Did she make it?"

"Yes. It hit the side of her torso and they lost her during surgery, but they got her back. Elizabeth, she's in a coma."

Emily tugged Liz against her as she broke down.

After a few moments, Liz retreated. "Where's Jason?"

"I don't know. He hung up on me."

"Great… I'm going to go look for him. Will you call me if there is a change?"

"Yeah, but we need to talk about whatever is going on with you and Jason too." She is shocked that Liz is involved in all of this

Liz rushes off and starts driving around town, but it's useless because she can't find him. Taking a chance, she pulls into Jake's.

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Jason slams back his fifth shot in six minutes as Coleman looks on.

"Maybe you should slow your roll."

"Maybe you should shut up."

Coleman gulps and then whistled. Jason is in rare form tonight.

Three shot later, Elizabeth tentatively approaches him. "Jason…"

His jaw clenches and after a long moment, he replies. "Go away."

"I can't do that. "Where have you been? Why aren't you at the hospital?" She had been looking everywhere for him.

"I can't. She's in there because of me."

"She would want you to be there."

"You don't know that."

Her mouth slightly drops open. "She loves you."

"He shakes his head vigorously. "Not anymore…"

She grips the back of the stool in front of her, making her knuckles turn white. "I know that you're upset and you think that this is your fault, but—"

"I might as well have pulled the trigger." His face twists and then he tries to switch back to his neutral mask, but can't.

"Don't say that!"

"You should leave."

"Don't dismiss me, Jason Morgan. I'm trying to help you. I thought we were friends."

His eyes practically bored a hole in the carpet. "We're more than friends." Even admitting he has feelings for her hurt because he knows it can't continue.

"Then why are you pushing me away?"

"You're better off without me."

"That's for me to decide."

He picks up the stool next to him and slams it onto the floor. "Go! I—I don't have anything to give you. I'm a criminal—a killer! You deserve more than that."

Even though she's trembling, she pushes on, fury creasing her brow as she glared at him defiantly. "No! I know what I deserve, Jason! You could give me everything I need. Don't you see that? We could be there for each other."

He momentarily averted his eyes. "Like what? I take you for rides on my bike or we play pool? What else is there?"

She swallows and moves closer, willing to expose her heart to him. The whole time she had driven around town she thought about him and what he means to her and came to the conclusion that she's willing to take a risk. "You listened to me when no one else could hear me. When I don't even believe in myself, you encourage me and convince me that anything is within my reach. The way you hold me when I cry—there are no words to describe how comforting it is. Sometimes, you drop the E from my name and the rest of the syllables flow from your lips so effortlessly, like a soft caress, and it makes my heart beat faster. I don't need a lot of things, but I certainly need you in my life. Please, Jason. I know you're hurting and I want to be there for you. Will you please let me? Please?"

He wished the tears hovering in his eyes would evaporate because he can't risk letting her see how much she means to him. Seeing the finality in his eyes her lower lip starts to quiver as he responds. "One day, you're going to see me for who I really am and I don't think I can stand to see the disappointment on your face or to have you walk away from me. Epiphany got shot and it's all my fault." A tear languidly slid down his cheek. "I can't risk it. You matter too much to me." He turned around, head hanging low wishing that he can beat the shit out of something to make his pain go away.

Having enough of his self-loathing, she starts to get pissed. "Fine! Walk away from me, everyone else does."

Her voice was barely a whisper, but he had heard every bitter syllable. Letting out a whimper, as if she had shredded his heart, he picks up a stool and throws it prompting Coleman to kick the few people left in the bar out who are not very happy.

He turns to face her, slightly wobbling with glassy eyes. "Don't tell me what to do."

Tears prick her eyes because the pain is devastating and she knows she can't leave him like this. "Please come with me."

"Don't you learn anything? She's in the hospital because of me!"

Elizabeth is trying to convince herself that Jason won't hurt her because he is scaring her. "Don't do this, please. She—you know she wouldn't blame you."

Jason's chest is heaving. "If you won't leave, I will." He starts to move and almost falls, making her scramble to slip to his side.

Coleman holds out a key. "This is the key to his room."

She moves a despondent Jason towards the stairs and they slowly ascend and she is surprised that he is cooperating, but as soon as they enter the room, his mood changes.

"Why did you bring me up here?"

"You need to sleep this off. I won't leave you."

Tears swell in his eyes again. "I don't want to sleep! Dammit, Elizabeth. Why can't you just walk away? All I do is hurt, people."

Her resolve is faltering, knowing he's out of control. "I don't turn my back on the people I care about."

He boldly approaches her. "What do you really want from me?"

"What—what do you mean?"

His eyes closed as he took a long agonizing breath as she turned away from him and wrapped her arms around herself. He leans down a little, his breath skirting against her ear. "What do you really want? Everyone wants something from me. Poor, brain damaged thug who is nothing but Sonny's bitch. He'll never love or really be loved; all he knows is destruction and killing. Anger boy will probably die from a bullet to the brain and he'll deserve it because he's nothing but a deviant. Is that what you really think?"

She turned on her heel, boldly showing her disgusted expression. "No!"

"Or maybe, you just want to experiment. You heard that the only things I'm good at are sex and killing and you were tired of cowering. Is that it, Elizabeth?"

He doesn't even realize that tears are pouring down his face, his words scorching him just as much as her. The last thing he ever wants to do is hurt her, but he knows that if he does, she'll run away from him and be safe and there will never be a day when she's lying at his feet in a pool of blood because of their friendship. It is the only way he can protect her.

"You're drunk and don't know what you are saying." Her tone is begging him to prove her wrong.

He grabs her face, barely able to focus as the anger and alcohol surge through his body. "You want me to stay here in this shitty room and fuck you, Elizabeth? Is that what this is? Fine!"

She gasps as his lips crash against hers and she swore he had busted hers but didn't care. The moment his tongue swept into her mouth, she was drowning in his essence, wondering how she had ever lived without his kisses. Her hands snaked around his neck and she gripped his hair. They torridly kissed as Jason lifted her and her legs wrapped around his slim hips and his hand slipped up the back of her shirt, making Liz shiver and moan. The air left her lungs when she's pushed against the wall and he reaches in between them and rips her shirt open as she gasps and which is swallowed as he ravages her mouth once again, grabbing her breasts and kneading them as she purred.

His mouth is the most exquisite thing she has ever felt and she never wants the kiss to end. When his hips bucked into her and she felt him thick and hard against her, she literally saw stars as her body vibrated as if it is anticipating far more. When he finally let go and attacked her neck as his hips found a rhythm against her she gasped as the pleasure spread throughout her. "Jason…"

It was the sexiest thing he had ever heard. His movements become rougher as he starts to lose control, grabbing her legs and squeezing tight. Her scent, lavender and something just Elizabeth, overwhelms him and he wants to take her, pounding her hard until she screams and that is when it hits him—the rape—and he abruptly stops and almost drops her when he lowers her to floor.

His chest is heaving as he stumbles and she finds her footing and sees the shame and guilt in his eyes.

"Jason? What's wrong?"

"I—I shouldn't have done that. I—Elizabeth, I was about to just take you." He's panting as he grimaces at her swollen lips and flushed skin.

"I know, Jason. I was there."

He rubs the back of his neck. "You deserve more—"

"Stop it!" she screams, unwilling to let him make what happened seem tawdry. "If you're going to walk away, then just go!" She clenches her little fists, upset by what she had just said and then quickly backtracking. "Dammit! You can't do that, Jason. You can't kiss and touch someone like that and make them feel things they never thought they would and then stop like it was something dirty. Nothing about that was bad."

"Is that what you want, Elizabeth?" His voice cracks. "Do you want me to just take you against the wall?" His intensity shakes her to her core, and she is at a loss for words, not understanding all the feelings bubbling to the surface. No one has ever been this raw and passionate with her and it makes her feel alive even though she knows it's so wrong because Jason is out of his mind with grief.

She fixes him with her stare, silently begging him not to say something that will make her hate him.

"Why won't you walk away? Would you really let me have you like this?"

"I trust you." She's not even sure what she means by that.

"You shouldn't." He feels like he's going to vomit. "I ripped your shirt. I was so rough. You're probably going to have bruises on your arms and legs. I'm no better than—" He couldn't even say it. The room spun and he stumbled and crashed against the door, feeling like he can't breathe.

"I was right there with you. You would never hurt me." Somewhere in her heart, she knew he'd stop even if she couldn't.

"God-dammit, Elizabeth! I'm no good for you. Don't you get it? You don't deserve to be fucked around with like this."

She grimaced as the harshness of his words raked over her soul. "I never thought that you'd ever treat me like I was different. We both wanted that kiss and everything that came after it. You made me feel so alive that I didn't think about what happened in the park all those years ago. I just wanted the feeling to never end because it was more than I have ever felt with any other man."

His shoulders drooped as his head dropped. "Suppose I didn't stop?"

"You would have—you did. Please, lie down and just sleep this off."

"I will not just get over this! I can't sleep off the guilt and pain. If you won't leave, I will. When I walk out this door, I'm not coming back. If you call out my name, I won't answer."

With her heart breaking, she reaches over and grabs the lamp and hurls it at him as she growls, but it just shatters at his feet.

Realizing how he had cut her with his words, he instantly regrets them.

His heart is beating so fast, he feels like he's going to hyperventilate. "Elizabeth—"

"Don't say my name like that! Please don't say goodbye," she says as she drops to her knees and when he starts to turn the knob, her heart breaks. "Just go, Jason. Apparently, your need to punish yourself is greater than your need to be with me and Epiphany."

Another tear burns his cheek before dripping onto his coat.

"I'm sorry." He rushes to the door and into the hallway and makes his way downstairs, throwing open the door as the cool night air smacks him in the face, knowing that he has hurt her beyond repair and hating himself for it. He has nothing now. Epiphany will probably want nothing to do with him and he just turned his back on someone he could easily fall in love with. When he finally slips onto his bike, he decides that he's going to another bar and drink himself into a stupor and hopes someone will fight him and kick his ass because he deserves it for making her cry like that. She'll be better off without him and so will Epiphany. Satisfied with his decision, he heads down an alley and into the darkness.

Upstairs, Elizabeth jumps to her feet and screams his name and runs downstairs, frantically looking around before opening the back door. Realizing that he's long gone, she goes back inside and slides down the wall and starts to sob. What had she done? "God, please watch over him. Please don't let him be hurt."

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Jason stumbled down the alley. He had abandoned shortly after taking off, realizing that he shouldn't be driving. His phone has been ringing incessantly, so he lifts it to his ear. "What the fuck do you want?"

Sonny is taken aback for a second and then pushes ahead. "Where are you?"

"None of your business…"

"Jason, I need to see you now. It's about Epiphany."

He freezes, thinking that Sonny might know who shot her. "What do you know?"

"Can—can we talk? Where are you?"

"Alley in back of Jake's…"

"Don't move."

Sonny smiled at Ronnie. "This is our chance. Come on." Initially, they had planned on doing something to threaten Monica, but then Jason was spotted and followed to the store where he bought the flowers and Ronnie sweet-talked the clerk into letting him read the note. That had changed everything.

Jason sat on the ground and bent his knees and rested his head in his hands.

"Well if it isn't Jason Morgan." It is his fault they got kicked out of the bar early.

He doesn't even acknowledge the men around him even when they start to strike and kick him. In fact, he lays there and takes it and then is dragged further into the alley and the beating continues since the enforcer refuses to fight, thinking that he deserves everything he gets. Epiphany is possibly dying and he had manhandled Elizabeth.

Shots ring out and Sonny and Ronnie run towards Jason as the men scatter.

"Jesus," Sonny said as he stared at a bloody, cut, and bruised Jason.

"He looks like shit."

Jason looked right through them.

"Why didn't he fight?" Ronnie asked.

"Because he blames himself and he's right. It was his fault. Are you ready to come back, Jason?"

He doesn't even blink.

Sonny grabs him and shakes him, causing Jason immense pain. "You listen to me. Either you agree to come back and know your role or I will make your life a living hell."

Jason suddenly looks in his direction. "Do your worse."

Sonny drops him to the ground. "When you are ready to apologize, I'll be waiting and only then will I help you. Until then, you're on your own." He stares at Ronnie. "You know what to do."

Ronnie nods and makes a phone call. "You got one of the guys?"

"Yes, boss."

"Get to the alley at Jake's. Set it up and then call the police."

"I'm on my way."

Ronnie grins when he realizes Jason has passed out. "You're going to be in a world of hurt tomorrow and it couldn't happen to a more fucked up guy."

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Johnny hurries into Jake's. "Where is she?"

Coleman points to his office. He had carried her in there after finding her curled up on the floor. The only thing she would tell him is Johnny's name. While he was tempted to call the police, due to her state of undress, she had become hysterical when he suggested it, so he dialed Johnny's number instead.

Johnny pushed the door open. "Elizabeth?"

Her head tilts up and he stops. Her makeup had dried after leaving a trail of black and her eyes are red and lips swollen. Slowly, she stands and then his eyes go to her shirt, which is clearly ripped, and she clenches the coat in front of her as her bottom lip quivered. That little action almost made him lose his mind.