Chapter Ten: Greg and Mycroft Both Need A Break... Maybe

Mycroft's dialogue is in bold.

Greg's dialogue is normal.

'Mm...'

'Something wrong, love?'

'Nope.'

'Then why are you humming?'

''Cause I'm happy.'

'Ah, I see.'

'And shagged out.'

'Yes, well four rounds will do that to a man.'

'...'

'Stop giggling.'

'Can't help it. Never thought you'd be up for four rounds.'

'If it's with the right person I can go all night.'

'I know that now. We've been in bed since seven last night and it's currently... ten am.'

'Then it's a good thing it's a Saturday and neither of us have work.'

'Oh yeah; I reckon I'd fall right over if I had to go to the Yard.'

'Mm...'

'Now you're humming.'

'Well as you said; happy.'

'Mm...'

'Gregory, stop it.'

'I didn't do anything.'

'You're humming on purpose.'

'Am not.'

'Are too.'

'Am not.'

'Are too.'

'...'

'...'

'MMMMMMM- oi!'

'You had to be stopped.'

'And that gives you the right to stick your finger... there?'

'Yes.'

'Well I didn't get that bloody memo.'

'Oh, did you want me to type it up?'

'No!'

'I'll call Anthea.'

'No, stop!'

'Give me my phone.'

'Never!'

'But I have to talk to Anthea!'

'No you don't!'

'And I'll say, "Anthea, dear, Gregory needs a memo written up".'

'Mycroft, put the bloody phone down!'

'And then Anthea will write down what I say.'

'Mycroft!'

'Which consists of the following; "When Gregory Lestrade is humming"-'

'Nooo, stop it!'

'- "Mycroft Holmes has the right to stick his finger- any finger"-'

'NO!'

'- "in Gregory Lestrade's"-'

'Gah!'

'- "arse".'

'...'

'...'

'...'

'Full-stop.'

'You're a dick.'

'No I'm not.'

'Are too.'

'Am not.'

'...'

'Stop pouting.'

'I'm allowed to pout; there's a memo.'

'Is there?'

'Yup.'

'And where is it?'

'None of your business.'

'...'

'No, stop!'

'...'

'You can't sway me with your lips!'

'...'

'N-No...'

'...'

'M-Mycroft...'

'...'

{oOo}

'Curse you to the firey depths of Hades.'

'... normally men say thank you.'

'Normally men don't jump other men to shut them up.'

'Yes they do.'

'Do not.'

'Do too.'

'Mycroft!'

'Gregory!'

'What the hell's gotten into you?'

'Well you got into me just then... and the third time... and the first time.'

'Yeah, yeah, I get it.'

'Do you?'

'...'

'...'

'What?'

'What?'

'No, I asked what.'

'And I said what back, as in; what what? Why did you say what?'

'Um... what?'

'Yes.'

'...'

'...'

'I am so confused.'

'Me too. Let's stop talking.'

'...'

'...'

'M-Mycroft, no...'

'...'

'I'm t-tired...'

'...'

'...'

'...'

'Oh fuck, yes!'

{oOo}

'Remember how I was cursing you?'

'Yes.'

'I take it all back.'

'Do you?'

'I am so strung out right now... seriously, I don't care about anythin'.'

'That's good to know.'

'You're amazing in bed.'

'Also good to know.'

'Mm.'

'Remember what happened last time you hummed?'

'Well maybe I want a certain politician to put a certain finger in a certain hole.'

'...'

'...'

'...'

'...'

'Ooo, yes!'

{oOo}

'Was that round six or eight?'

'I have no idea.'

{oOo}

'That was definitely round nine.'

'Should we go for the double digits?'

'... only if you use something a bit bigger than your finger.'

{oOo}

'Oh... th-that's-ah- d-definitely... oh God, Mycroft... bigger than a f-finger... Christ!'

{oOo}

'Mycroft?'

'Mm?'

'Stop humming.'

'I was letting you know that I heard you, therefore I was listening.'

'...'

'Yes, Gregory dear?'

'I don't think I can take anymore.'

'Anymore...?'

'Sex.'

'...'

'Don't laugh, I'm serious! Eleven times is some type of record for men our age, I'm tellin' ya. We've been in bed almost 24 hours.'

'... we've had bathroom breaks.'

'Yeah, quickly followed by some blowjobs against the sink.'

'Mm, that was lovely.'

'Sex maniac.'

'I am what you made me.'

'Seriously, no more, my dick's about to fall off.'

'I'll bring it back to life.'

'No, stay away, you beast!'

'Gregory, please.'

'Noooo!'

'Greg-'

'NO, GET BACK!'

'Fine.'

'Mycroft, seriously. I love you, but I need a break.'

'Yes, very well.'

'...'

'...'

'Sorry, but I really need a break.'

'Mm-hmm.'

'Should we get some dinner?'

'Too tired.'

'We can order in. Maybe pizza or something?'

'Nnn...'

'Are you staying tonight?'

'Do you want me to stay?'

'Do you want to stay?'

'Gregory.'

'Mycroft.'

'You annoy me.'

'And...?'

'Yes, fine; I want to stay.'

'Good; I want you to stay.'

'You're an odd man.'

'I have never, ever denied that.'

'...'

'...'

'...'

'Wanna watch somethin'?'

'That requires movement.'

'We can sit on the couch under the blankets and watch... I dunno, Doctor Who.'

'No.'

'Torchwood.'

'I don't fancy watching you drool over John Barrowman.'

'Well you drool over Gareth David-Lloyd.'

'So?'

'... NCIS?'

'Youleer at Michael Weatherly.'

'...'

'...'

'House?'

'Jesse Spencer.'

'Burn Notice?'

'Jeffrey Donovan.'

'Harry Potter?'

'Jason Isaacs.'

'Mycroft, there's someone hot in every TV show and movie I have. We won't be able to watch anything at this rate.'

'Then let's read.'

'What if I drool over a book character?'

'Oh dear Lord.'

'I was joking.'

'Sure you were.'

'Myc!'

'Fine, we can watch a TV show.'

'Yay!'

'...'

'...'

'... The Big Bang Theory.'

'Oh yeah, pick the one show with an actor you fancy.'

'I have no idea what you're talking about.'

'Does the name Jim Parsons ring a bell?'

'No.'

'...'

'Can we watch it now?'

'If you order.'

'What am I ordering?'

'Erm... Chinese.'

'Fine.'

{oOo}

'Mm, that was yummy.'

'It tasted how it always tastes.'

'Yummy.'

'...'

'...'

'...'

'Stop leering at Jim Parsons.'

'I'm not.'

'You are too.'

'I assure you, Gregory, I'm not.'

'Why are you denying it?'

'I'm not denying anything.'

'You are such a fucking liar.'

'I am not.'

'Are too.'

'Am not.'

'Are too.'

'GREGORY!'

'MYCROFT!'

'...'

'...'

'...'

'...'

'...'

'B-Bedroom.'

'I thought you needed a break.'

'Get in the fucking bedroom before I jump you right here.'

'Yes, dear.'

{oOo}

'Gregory?'

'Mm?'

'I need a break.'

'...'

'Stop laughing at me.'

'Never.'

'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

'...'

'...'

'...'

'We forgot to turn the TV off.'

'So?'

'It's a waste of power.'

'So go turn it off.'

'You go turn it off.'

'...'

'...'

'...'

'...'

'M-Mycroft.'

'Mm?'

'I thought- fuck- you n-needed a... b-break...'

'Four... m-minutes is long... oh God... en-enough.'

'Oh fuck, yes.'

'Fuck, Gregory!'

'Mm...'