Chapter 10: Come to Leave
"Again."
Brili let out an enormous shout and lunged at Aragorn with all her might. He gave her an unimpressed glance and sidestepped past her and her wooden practice sword which caused her to topple over and fall from all the momentum she had used behind the leap. He shook his head and ran a hand over his face, blatantly annoyed with her lack of forethought regarding her attacks. He righted his practice sword and beckoned that she stand, bracing himself for a proper attack. She let out another cry and awkwardly tried to swipe at his midsection. He huffed and effortlessly knocked the wooden weapon from her grasp.
"Again," he demanded humorlessly. He was quite displeased with her performance today.
She nodded and grasped her weapon with both hands and wildly flung at him again. He dodged the weak attack without worry or care. She was normally quite adept at sword play and he, for the life of him, couldn't understand what the problem was. It couldn't be her ankle that was causing this because he had just removed the wrap an hour ago. The damn thing was practically healed so that couldn't be it. He sighed and let his sword drop to the ground while shaking his head at her. The poor thing was visibly frustrated which would make practice incredibly difficult. He held out his hand and she begrudgingly placed her sword in his grasp. This session was over.
"I'm sorry," she offered without any authenticity.
He narrowed his eyes at her. "I've never seen you like this, friend. There is no shame if you are still hurt but those attacks were made blindly and without calculation. Attacks like those will get you killed in battle."
"It's been four days," she murmured, her eyes shifting towards the door as if she expected it to break open any minute. "I've been back for four days and everything is… perfect."
Aragorn offered a confused glance. "Then what is distracting you so?"
She looked up at him with angry eyes that caused him to flinch ever so slightly. "They haven't bothered me once since we've arrived! Aside from that fiasco of a meal, I haven't seen hide or hair of my brothers or my uncle since I led them here!" She turned from him to face the wall as if she was lost in thought.
"I thought you were uninterested in seeing them," he sighed, collecting the wooden shields that they used to practice and hanging them up.
Brili turned her body so sharply that her braided hair swung out like a golden whip and flopped over her shoulder. There was a surety and fierceness in her eyes that Aragorn couldn't pull himself from. As much as she would resent the thought, she truly looked like royalty in that moment.
"They are planning something," she said with certainty.
Her friend rolled his eyes and shook his head. He had always guessed Brili to be a bit paranoid but this was a touch too far. "I'm sure they are not."
She shook her head and began frantically pacing the practice room, waving her hands to and fro in distress. They would curl and unfurl as if she were squeezing a thought out of them before she would snap her fingers. Then she would repeat the process. This went on for several long minutes while Aragorn began to clean up the space around them; adjusting practice dummies so that they sat straight and generally tidying anything left unchecked. Her footsteps echoed around her as she traced and retraced her steps, walking in a wide circle.
"No. No, they are," she insisted after a time of walking in circles. "You don't understand them! They are notorious for this! The three of them are plotting something! I just don't know what!"
Aragorn shook his head before reaching over and pulling Brili away from her frantic steps and thoughts. "Relax. If they are planning anything it must go by Elrond first. You are under his roof, making you his responsibility."
Her face fell instantly. Of course! That's why they had been avoiding her like a sickness. They weren't going to approach her about this at all. No, they were going to go right over her head and go to the master of the house. She had to get to Elrond immediately. She pulled away from her friend and began running through the city of Rivendell as fast as she could. If she could reach Elrond first, convince him she was worth severing any alliance with her uncle then there was a good chance she could stay. She dashed past many faces and rooms with only one in mind; an office overlooking the entire community.
She reached the steps with her heart pounding vigorously in her chest. She doubled over for a moment to catch her breath and to try to quell the thumping. She leaned against a pillar with a hand over her breasts and her breath coming out in fits and gasps. With a huff of determination she forced her burning legs to trudge up the stairs, each step igniting a flame in her thighs that smoldered and burned. She reached the top of the steps and frowned, the door was open a crack and there was someone inside. Not one person. No, three dwarves and an elf… She was too late! With a snarl she pushed herself up the last few stairs and slammed the stone door open with all her might.
"OUT!" she shouted at Thorin, Fili and Kili who turned at the sound of her voice. "I want the three of you out of this room now!"
"Brili!" Fili exclaimed, alarmed by the ferocity in her voice. "We were just –"
She rounded on him instantly. He had never truly understood the phrase 'if looks could kill' until that very moment. "I know exactly what you three were doing! All of you out!"
Elrond, ever the peacekeeper, held his arms out wide and gestured that she should sit down on one of the chairs he kept in the room. "We were trying to decide just what to do with you. I was offering that you stay here."
She looked to Elrond and practically fell to the floor to kiss his feet. It was all she could do to keep herself upright. So… she was staying here? She was going to live her life out in Rivendell. She licked her lips and nodded her head, her throat suddenly as dry as a summer drought.
"I… I would like that very much," she croaked, looking at the master elf with hope glossing her eyes.
She watched his face fall and she knew she had arrived too late. He didn't have to tell her what happened in the room before she had arrived, she already knew. Her uncle, without a doubt, had used his royalty as leverage to claim rights to her. Her brothers had undeniably claimed themselves as her blood relatives and took the responsibility from Elrond. She was back where she was five years ago, a girl under her family's thumb. She shook her head and placed her hands on his desk.
"Your uncle is going to send for an ally to bring you to the mountains that you came from," the elf affirmed, watching her carefully.
"I request sanctuary!" she cried out venomously, slamming her fist down on the table.
"Which I cannot give," Elrond replied, eying her carefully. "You're family has made it quite clear that they want you to return to the mountains. I'm afraid there is nothing that I can do."
She stiffened and turned to them instantly. Each one stood with stiff chins and stern eyes that left her with no room for negotiation. This wasn't right. She belonged here with the elves not in a mountain to suffer in the darkness. She had to find the weakest one and start chipping. If she played them right maybe one of them could join her fight. She just needed someone to help the rest see reason. Maybe Kili would? No, he was clearly still far too ticked with her; any plea to him would fall on deaf ears. Thorin's eyes narrowed and she ruled him out instantly. That left her with Fili, which surprisingly wasn't a bad person to have in her corner. He was the eldest, making him the de facto man of the house, and ultimately the decision maker. She focused her steely gaze towards him and pointed to the door.
"I want to speak to Fili alone, please," she said slowly, somberly. "Everyone else leave."
Thorin began mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like 'girls' under his breath before trudging out the door with Elrond behind him. Kili, however, remained by his brother's side with an immovable expression. Brili placed her hands on her hips expectantly, waiting for him to follow her uncle but he just stood there and waited for her to speak. She sighed and shook her head at his antics before turning her attention to Fili, whose expression was almost unreadable.
"You're not hurt?" he asked as soon as the door closed. Her eyes narrowed in confusion. What kind of game was he playing at? How could she possibly be hurt? He looked down at her left foot and back to her troubled face. "Your foot, Bri, I saw you hurt it when we arrived."
Oh, that. She almost forgot that had happened. "It's fine." There was no point beating around the bush, she had to convince her brother to talk Thorin into letting her stay in Rivendell. "Fili, you cannot do this!"
"He can do what he likes," Kili countered. He, for one, didn't mind the idea of bringing his sister home. He hated the way she acted around these people, like a rescued mutt. It was sickening.
She turned to Kili and shoved him hard in the chest towards the door. "I asked you to leave!"
"Bri, let him stay," Fili said, rubbing his hand over his face. "What's done is done. I can't change it at this point. It's time that you returned home to mother. The proposal is off the table, alright? We just want you home and safe."
"I'm safe here," she insisted, directing her attention back to the eldest.
Fili's eyes narrowed. "You call that display with those orcs safe? You could have been killed! I don't know what these elves are teaching you but it's not right."
Bri laughed mirthlessly. She should have known this conversation would come up. They were just miffed that she was braver than they were! "I'm a ranger. If that means I fall for the greater good then so be it!"
"Mahal!" Kili burst out behind her. "Look at this, Fi, they've got into her head! She actually thinks they care what happens to her!"
She tried her best to ignore him and pressed on. "Fili, I'm begging you to let me stay! I told you before that I'm happy here. Open your eyes and see it!"
That was the ticket right there. Fili was her strictest brother but her brother none the less. Ever since he first saw her in his mother's arms when he was a young lad all he had ever wanted for his sister was happiness. It was that steadfast desire that had molded his sister into the dwarf she was today. It was why she fought so hard to break the mold and stand out from the crowd. In that moment he couldn't help but feel sorry for what he had done. He had never been comfortable with the idea of marrying her off but had done it because he had truly believed it had been what was best for her. Everything he had done was in the hopes that Bri would be happy in the end. Now she stood before them with eyes that glistened with tears and her lips set into a determined line. He couldn't take that strength from her, even if Thorin would frown upon his decision. Maybe there was a way they could all be happy again.
He cleared his throat. "What if you came with us?" Her face crumpled at the thought and he decided to rephrase his statement. "To Erebor, I mean. What if you helped us take back the mountain?"
A light seemed to shine in her eye but that didn't stop her from looking at him suspiciously. He had to admit that it hurt him a bit to see that she mistrusted him so much. "You mean… like an adventure?"
He nodded, clasping his hands behind his back trying to appear a little more official. "I'll have to speak with Uncle as this is his quest. You will need more training on our parts and I'd like to make sure you can handle yourself accordingly but yes."
Kili shifted beside Fili, his typical sibling rivalry getting the better of him. That was it? She had them worried all this time, hid in plain sight from them for weeks while they travelled and then nearly got herself killed; now she was going to be rewarded for treating them like this? How could Fili be so stupid! She could die out in the wild! Sure the three of them would be there to protect her but he couldn't have eyes on her at all times! Her actions days prior were proof of that! They had been looking out for her that day and she had run off expecting to take down an entire pack of orcs. How could Fili expect her to handle something as serious as the journey to take back Erebor?
Brili, however, didn't notice Kili's eyes darken or the way he shifted his weight in frustration. She had eyes only for Fili in that moment and her heart swelled. Had she finally earned enough respect from him? Maybe her fighting those orcs hadn't been so foolish after all. Perhaps it had lent her the proof she had needed for her brother to see that she could take care of herself! Unable to repress a grin she held her right hand out to shake his in a display of solidarity.
"I'd like that," she said, beginning to feel a touch like her old self again. She liked the old Brili; she was much happier than the one at present.
Rather than taking her hand, Fili wrapped his arms around his sister's shoulders, pulling her into a great hug the way he used to when he returned to the mountains after a hunt. He was pleased to notice she reciprocated rather than rejecting the touch as she had in the past. "It's good to have you back."
At those words she stiffened a little. What of Aragorn? What of her life here when they took back the mountain? Would he follow? Surely, if she asked him to, he would join the company and offer what aid he could. It could be the start of a great alliance for her uncle who had severed his ties with the elves. Not only would he be earning favors with Elrond but with the Dunedain which Aragorn oft traveled with when he was not visiting Rivendell. It could be the start of something wonderful for them all!
"What of my friend?" she asked, pulling away from Fili but keeping her hands on his shoulders. She was not quite willing to let go of him just yet. "Can he come as well?"
Beside her Kili scoffed. He should have known that she would ask for that human to follow. "No."
Fili tried a gentler approach when his sister pulled away to scold the youngest brother. "I don't think Uncle will allow it."
Bri frowned and looked down at the floor. Maybe this whole going with them to Erebor wasn't such a wise decision. She didn't want to leave Aragorn or her new companions in this glorious city. She loved it here! She enjoyed the fine comforts and the special training she had been given. Going with her family to take back the mountain certainly beat the alternative to being sent home to knit and sew her life away but she wasn't sure she had it in her to just leave this place.
"I don't know if I can just leave," she said quietly, looking around the office. She walked a few paces away from them to stand on the balcony that overlooked the city. "I don't expect the two of you to understand, but this is my home now."
Behind her, Kili let out a snicker and turned to his brother. "I told you she wouldn't listen."
Bri tilted her head at his complaint and frowned even more. It wasn't as if she was deliberately trying to be difficult, it was just more complicated than her brothers knew. She owed a good portion of the woman she had become to the elves. To leave felt… cheap, like the people who helped care for her deserved better than that; but what of her family? They, Fili at least, appeared to be trying to make a compromise. She owed it to him to try.
"You said the proposal is off?" she inquired, turning to look at her whispering brothers over her shoulder. Fili nodded his head. "Then go get Uncle. Tell him your idea and see if he accepts. If he does not, I will remain here. I'm not negotiating on this."
Kili rolled his eyes and stalked towards the door, unable to repress the thought that justice was not being served here. Brili watched him go with a feeling of anxiety filling her chest. He was truly angry with her. She couldn't exactly blame him for it. She had run away and tried her hardest to replace the family she had lost with a new one. She couldn't change the way she loved Aragorn like a brother, it just made her sad that Kili was so unwilling to accept it. She sighed when both brothers shut the door behind them. They wouldn't go far, she knew. Knowing Thorin, they would be right outside the door discussing things as quietly as they could. She stared out at the city and watched the elves greet one another with embraces and smiles. She was a part of this city of magic and light. Circumstances might cause her to leave but she would always be a ranger of Rivendell.
She gripped the railing of the balcony as tightly as she could and hoisted herself to sit on it. Suddenly she was unsure if she wanted to know what her uncle's judgment would be. Either way, it would mean she had goodbyes to make. She didn't want her last few nights here to be full of sadness and tears. No, she would rather spend them with the hope that her uncle and brothers would understand and let her stay here.
With an impish grin, she pulled a length of rope from her belt and tied it to the banister as tightly as she could. It wasn't long enough to reach the ground, but long enough to reach a window that sat below Elrond's chambers. She tied the rest to her belt and deftly began to climb down the bit of rope by using her feet to walk along the building walls. Being a ranger had its perks. She reached the second floor quickly enough and was most pleased when she found herself sitting on the ledge of the nearest window. It was another corridor that led to Elrond's office. She untied the rope from around her waist, watching it flutter in the breeze for a moment before scurrying down the hall and into the sunshine.
The rest of the day was spent in the square talking excitedly amongst the elves about her adventure. A small crowd had assembled around her and she told her tales of trolls and orcs with great vigor and excitement. She left out no detail and even embellished others without guilt. She would switch from telling tales to singing without a care or thought in the world. She wanted her stories and songs to be passed on so that, in case she had to leave like she suspected, she would be remembered by this city. There was one listener that she didn't even notice hiding behind the tall crowd. He was a dwarf with long dark hair, a long mustache and kind brown eyes.
Being a singer himself, Bofur was instantly entranced by her striking voice. It was soft and melodic, her words running together into beautiful tunes that the elves around her accompanied with harps. She would tell parts of her story in verse as if the songs came naturally. It was what drew him to ask for the dwarrowdam's hand to begin with. He had been invited to break bread with Thorin one evening when he heard her singing in scales around the mountains. He didn't have to see her to know he would love her. The gentle timbre of her voice and the joy that radiated from it drew him to her like a moth to flame. He would never forget the way Thorin smiled contently when he announced that it was his niece who sang such songs, the love he shared for the girl resonating from his smile. Bofur had been elated to know that the voice had belonged to Brili as he had heard tales of her beauty from across the mountain.
The crowd began to disperse leaving him standing directly in front of the beautiful, frail woman. She was quite different now than the girl he first saw at a birthday feast. She had thinned out some since he had the chance to admire her beauty. He was a touch put out by the way sharp features she had taken on and felt the urge to bring her a plate of food. She was far too thin. It seemed to him like she was trying to emulate the elves that surrounded her day by day. She ate like them, dressed like them; she had even picked up some of their language, he noticed. She was smiling as he stared, not seeing him for her eyes were fixated on the elf that had welcomed the company when they had first arrived. (Bofur couldn't remember the name for the life of him.) The two of them were trapped in a song together. Despite the fact that she was trying not to, Brili's sadness was apparent in that moment. Bofur wanted nothing more than to take that sadness from her. The duet ended and he couldn't stop himself from clapping the loudest. She sat up a little straighter and looked into the crowd, her eyes lighting up at the sound of applause.
The moment their eyes locked she stiffened like a wooden plank and stood up. That joy and softness that lingered before was lost and now a wicked fire blazed in the sapphire of her eyes. Behind that fury was a touch of fear and it tore Bofur to pieces to see that his angel of song still feared him. It had hurt five years ago when she had run from the room at the sight of him and it hurt now to see that she was about to run now. He held a hand out to try to soothe her, maybe convince her to let him say his peace, but it was too late and she had rushed past her elven comrade towards the gardens, her gold hair waving behind her like a flag. With a heavy sigh he turned and trudged back to where he knew his brother, Bombur, would be with the rest of his kin.
~o~
Brili kept her hands clenched tightly as she stalked to the gardens, one of her favorite hideaways when Aragorn was away with Dunedain. It was rarely occupied which often gave her the opportunity to collect her thoughts and sing her songs in the quiet. She knelt beside flowers of all colors and sizes with a frustrated scowl. Where was Aragorn anyways? She had been trying to find him all damn day and hadn't seen him since that disaster she had attempted to call arms practice. He would know just what to do now. She sighed and lifted a finger to brush a white orchid in front of her. What was she going to do? She began to sing softly, her voice no louder than a murmur but not quite a whisper. She sang of brothers and sisters and uncles like fathers. She even sang of friends and ancestors she had never known. Brili couldn't even begin to count the songs she knew of people she had never met.
It was times like this she wondered about her real father. Her brothers had told her about him often when she was young. She always imagined him to be different from the rest of her family. In her mind, he was just like her, imaginative with a curious side that would drive him to travel the world around him. In her daydreams he would bring her outside the mountains when no one else would. He would praise her for being different and wanting to choose her own path. He would have granted her the right to be a warrior. She often liked to think that he would be nothing short of proud. But he was dead, nothing more than a figment of her imagination. Growing up Thorin had taken over the role as her father. He had always tried to guide her but his pride always got the best of him. She couldn't fault him for that she supposed. At least he had made an honest attempt to do right by her mother and her brothers, even if she had managed to slip through the cracks and get lost in it all. Her song drifted away into gentle hums when she looked up at the sky and the soon setting sun.
"Well sung," a strong voice called out not far behind her. "Can't say I haven't missed that sound."
She turned her head to see Thorin approaching her, his boots crunching on the dirt floor. Had he made up his mind? Maybe Elrond was able to convince him to let her stay in this place. She didn't smile or give any sign that she was waiting for his verdict with bated breath. Her trembling hands were the only things that indicated how frantically nervous she really was. She stood from her knelt position and brushed her cropped trousers clean with her head lowered. Thorin came and stood next to her while indicating that the two should sit down on one of the nearby benches that lined the garden path but Bri was too frightened to move. Everything she ever wanted or didn't want was riding on this conversation.
Thorin cleared his throat when she refused to look at him. "So, I hear you have given me an ultimatum."
"Yes," she said softly.
With more courage than she thought she had, she lifted her face to look him in the eye. She was surprised by the softness in them, like he was slightly pained in this moment. She knew that look well. He was not pleased with her and was trying to find the best way to voice his disappointment. She would get this look often in her youth when he was preparing her for ill news or had to reprimand her. He reached out and touched her shoulder.
"Walk with me?" he asked and didn't exactly wait for her to respond before steering her down the path. "I've been looking for you all day, should've guessed that you were hiding out around here. You've always liked flowers. Which reminds me, do I want to know how you got out of that room? Your brothers and I were right outside the door."
She smirked a little and peered up at her uncle. She knew by the way her uncle smiled that he had seen the rope and hidden it from her worried brothers. She giggled as her imagination got the best of her and she envisioned what Fili's face would have looked like if he had seen it. It was quite silly indeed! Thorin looked down on her with a short look in his eye which pulled Bri from her daydreams.
"No," she affirmed. "No, you do not."
"Mmm," he agreed tightlipped. "Well whatever you did don't let me, or your brothers for that matter, catch you. Which brings me to my next point – I don't like being forced into things like this, Bri. I've taught you better than to question my decisions. If I say you should return home then I have a reason."
She stopped short, an inferno building in her chest. "This is my choice, Uncle. I've been making my own since I left five years ago. I think I'm entitled to a little trust here."
"Trust?" he looked at her incredulously. "Brili, you ran away from home. You frightened your brothers sick and threw your mother into the worst depression I have ever seen. No, child, your trust will be earned, not given."
She saw a crack in her uncle's gentle demeanor and decided to run with it. "If I'm so untrustworthy then why bother? Cast me out of the family and leave me to suffer with my own consequences."
He smiled ruefully before shaking his head, using his hand on the small of her back to guide her back on the path. "I could never do that. Despite your foolish and selfish actions, you are still my niece and my family. I would not allow such dishonor to fall upon you. Your brother informed you that the proposal is off?"
"They did," she replied stiffly, narrowing her eyes. "Thank you."
"You never did give me a chance to explain my reasoning behind that, by the way," he complained grumpily. "You ran off before I could."
"You can't fault me on that, Uncle, I was frightened. I did what I thought was necessary to get by."
"People began to talk," he launched, not waiting for an invitation from her because he knew he would never receive one. "They asked me and your mother what you planned to become. You had no discernible trade aside from sword play and that alone raised too many questions about you. You had your voice, which I notice you have not lost, and you had your beauty which led me and your brothers to the conclusion that marriage would be best. I've seen the way you speak with children. Motherhood would suit you. But, as you have reminded your poor brothers countless times, we were wrong."
She hadn't expected that. The great Thorin Oakenshield admitting he was in fact wrong? Now that was something she would pay to hear twice. If he thought he was wrong in the past then maybe he had reconsidered the current quandary. Her heart began to pound wildly in her chest. If he let her stay then she was truly free. No more fear of being found and taken away. She could even invite her brothers to visit and finally mend the rift between all of them. She could finally write that apology to her mother!
"So, am I –" Thorin cut her off by raising his hand in the air.
"Now I'm left in quite a predicament. On one hand, I could leave you here and never see you again for I know you would be trapped in this life fully if I do. It's already begun, after a few years time you are practically under their spell. On the other, I take you on this dangerous journey where there is a good chance you could get yourself killed. My feet are sure, child, I know you pushed me down that ledge to face those orcs alone. And those are my options. Does either choice sound favorable from my perspective?
"I find my niece, who I love as a daughter, after five years – admittedly not very long when you think about how long our lives span out – only to have her make such demands. My choices are either to lose her to my enemy or risk her life."
"Or I could decide," she ventured, reaching out to touch his hand. "I could take that burden from you and you could rest easy knowing it was my choice."
He shook his head and stared in front of him with uncompromising eyes. "I'm a bit too selfish for that, child. When you vanished I was ruined. With the help of your brothers, I searched night and day for over a year. I told myself time and time again that when we found you I would do anything in my power to set things right and make you happy again. But to leave you here is not right. You are part of the line of Durin and, as I've said before, it's time you took your rightful place beside us. I will grant your request to join my company for this quest. I understand this is not the outcome you wanted but this is what I'm willing to offer."
Bri lowered her head a little. Of course she had been expecting this to happen. She stopped their steady walk and tried her best to hide her disappointment. She was going to have to lay down the ground rules now before they started their journey.
"Things will have to be different," she stated, calmly. "I'm not to be treated like a child as I am not one. I am capable of making my own decisions now. I will not be coddled like a youngster."
Thorin looked down at her, raising an eyebrow at her audacity. "Tell that to your brothers. I've put you in their charge for the time being. You are to report to them at all times." He lifted his hand to silence her again when she opened her mouth to protest. "These are the terms. I cannot have you gallivanting about without someone to report to. This quest is not a game for you to play. If you cannot agree to these terms I can send for someone to bring you directly back to the mountain."
Instead of dignifying his terms with a response, she scowled and settled on a curt bow. Two could play this game and she was not going to lose, too much depended on it.
So this part is turning out much longer than I intended it to. I was actually going to leave Rivendell in this chapter originally and then realized that it had to be broken up into another chapter. Sorry!
I kind of love the Fili scene. Now, I know everyone is waiting for the Brili/Kili make up scene and I promise you it will happen! It's just going to happen a little later! I'm also really, really fond of the scene where Bofur is listening to Brili sing. I can't wait until you guys find out what I have planned for those two! And holy adorable Thorin!
My musical inspiration for Bri? It's a somewhat popular artist called Mree. You can find her on youtube. I suggest you give her a listen.
Some thank yous to twiggy and my guest for the reviews and to X-PoisonCherry-X for the favorite and follow!
As always, feel free to leave me a review with any thoughts or questions even if you hated my dramafest of a chapter!
Until next time!
-kimmy