Chapter Ten: Nightmares Keep On Going

Dessie

I am Dessie, the supposedly graceful and elegant and ladylike daughter of Leader. Since I am a nobleman's daughter, great things are expected of me. I'm supposed to be gentle, and kind, and beautiful (well, at least I have the beautiful part down). I disappoint my father in some way every single day, but I can hardly help it. It's not in my nature to be a nobleman's daughter. I want to fight. I need it. I crave it. The blood and guts and gore – it's enough to get any girl excited… A long bloody battle and afterward a hunk of guy to share the… Yeah, but as I was saying, um, I'm not cut out to be a lady. Heh…

I always dreamed of war, of proving myself and bringing honor to the family, and, during the summer of my twentieth year, my chance arose. The Huns were attacking China (yeah, I live in China now – I don't know when this happened). My father was injured in the previous war – to go now would mean certain death to him!

"Leader!" I cried, throwing myself at my father's feet.

Father stood over me, his expression grim. He was the only Chinese man I knew to have orange hair and facial piercings. However, he was a highly respected Chinese general in his time. Now, however, he relied on a crutch to walk.

"What is it, Dessie?" asked Father.

"You cannot go!" I cried. "You'll die!"

"It is for duty and honor."

"No!"

Mother stepped up beside Father and placed a hand on his shoulder. She was a beautiful mother with blue hair and an elegant paper flower in her hair. "You shouldn't yell at your father, Dessie."

"I know, I know," I said. "It's not ladylike. But surely, Father, someone else can go in your place…"

"No! I have no sons! I must go! I will go! And if I die, I will die with honor!"

And that was the end of that discussion – or so my father thought. In the middle of the night I snuck into his closet and stole his armor. Hair cut short (not my beautiful hair!) and dressed as a boy, I rode off into the night in the direction of the war. The blood of the battlefield was calling to me…

Camp was, um, a little different than expected. Um, how should I describe it? It was filled with men, Stinky, sweaty, disgusting, gross men. There weren't any Hotties at all! Whatever happened to my dream of a bloody battle and a sexy man afterwards! It's gone… gone… gone…

"Who's the girl?"

I straightened up and turned, stiffly, to stare at three men standing behind me. Kakuzu, that's what he called himself, looked like a mummy with his whole face covered by clothing with the exception of his bloodshot green eyes. The second guy (who cheerfully introduced himself as Kisame) was just as much a monstrosity as the first. His skin was a blue-gray color and he had gills. He sort of reminded me of a shark, And lastly, was a blond fur ball.

"Do you have any right to call me a girl?" I asked incredulously.

Blondie cracked his knuckles. "Don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry."

Kisame snickered. "He likes to make things go boom!"

"You're all idiots," said Kakuzu. "You should just give him a knuckles sandwich and be done with it."

"What did I do?" I asked. "What did I do to make you hate me?"

"Absolutely nothing," said Kisame with a shrug. "We're just bored."

"Oh." I considered this for a second. "In that case…" I wound my fist back and let it loose – in Blondie's face.

He let out a cry of pain as he fell to the ground. He clutched his nose and rolled on the ground as blood spurted between his fingers.

I stood over the fallen Blondie and grinned. "That'll teach you to call me a girl, you asshole. I'm ten times more a man that you are… of course, that's not saying much."

"Shut up, you whore!" shouted Blondie, he leapt to his feet. "I'll blow you to little pieces!" He reached into a pouch fastened to his waist and pulled some clay out of it. He shaped the clay into some unknown form and, before I knew what was happened he threw it at me and screamed, "Katsu!"

I yelped as the clay exploded, spitting embers into my face. When the flames were gone, I rounded on Blondie. "You bitch!" And then I jumped on him, fists and feet flying in all directions.

"What is this madness?"

The voice was not loud, but it was commanding. It practically oozed authority and charisma. There was no way to deny that sexy, manly voice. I leapt off of Blondie and turned to see the hunk who had spoken. Boy oh boy, I wasn't disappointed. The man was gorgeous. Black hair, blood red eyes, and a sculpted body to die for. Oh my Jashin, I am in heaven.

I was too stunned by the hotness of Commander Itachi to even care about the punishment and lecture he gave me. All I could do was drool of his sexiness and walk back to my tent in a daze. Throughout training camp I tried my hardest to impress him. My arrows never missed the target. My punches were precise. My kicks were powerful. I was the strongest, the fastest, maybe not the cleverest, but we can't all be perfect. And, by the ending of our training, I was voted, uncontested, the manliest man around.

Kisame clapped me on the shoulder and grinned, "How does it feel, Des, to be so manly?"

I grinned, enjoying my own inside joke. "And you thought I was girly when I first arrived."

"Our mistake," said Kisame with a shrug. "I think you've more than proven your manliness – though you haven't been with a woman yet. That's when you know you're a man."

"Heh…" I said sheepishly. "I'm… in the middle of a war… it isn't time for a woman."

"There's always time for a woman," said Kakuzu. "A woman and making some money on the side."

"Hmph," said Deidara. "I'm still manlier than Des."

Kisame patted Deidara on the shoulder. "You can always go join a convent – then you'll be the manliest man around."

"Along with the only man," said Kakuzu.

We went to bed that night drunk in happiness and when we woke up the next morning it was to prepare for war. The Commander's father had called for aid and our troops set out to help him. We made our way through the mountain passes to a small village where the General's armies had been hiding. However, all we found was snow and blood.

"Damn," I said, kicking a fallen soldier's helmet. "We missed the battle."

"We haven't missed the war," said Kakuzu.

The stone faced Commander led us to a spot in the mountain pass where we could make camp. However, camp didn't last long… The Huns attacked. Commander Itachi led the troops well, but we were overwhelmed by the mass of the Hun army. At the very last second, I grabbed a canon and sprinted towards the Hun army. I had a clear goal in mind, I might not be the brightest thinker in the bunch, but sometimes I had have good ideas – and this, I would say, is one of my brighter ideas.

I set the canon up in the snow and grabbed my matches. The Hun army rode closer, their horses stampeding towards us. At the front… At the front of the army… I dropped my matches into the snow and stared.

He was so damn hot.

Short gray hair, slicked back behind his ear, violent purple eyes, and a body… dear God that body… I couldn't kill that body. It was too… perfect.

Slam!

The Hottie ran into me and knocked me to the ground. He fell of his horse too. Together, we rolled along the ground and came to a stop with him lying on top of me.

"You tried to kill us, bitch!" he cried.

"Kill you?" I asked. "Never. Not you…" I smiled and wriggled beneath him. "You're too sexy to kill."

"Eh?"

I rolled over so that I was kneeling on top of his, the snow falling in bundles all around us. "Hottie..."

"Hey, Des!"

I glanced over to see who was coming. Kisame, Kakuzu, Itachi, and Deidara were running through the snow towards me, their eyes were wide.

"What are you doing to Hidan?" asked Kisame, looking rather repulsed. "You do know he's the enemy."

I wrapped my arms around his neck (probably strangling him a little). "He's to hot to be an enemy. He's mine. I want him and he's mine. End of story."

"Is this chick always so fucking weird?" asked Hidan angrily.

"Chick?" said Deidara. "Des is a dude. A manly dude… Though apparently he's gay."

"I'm not gay!" I said indignantly. "I'm a girl, you idiot!"

"EH!" exclaimed Deidara, pointing wildly. "A girl… A girl… But you're in the army… And you're manly!" He looked about him and was rather outraged by the lack of surprise on everyone else's faces. "Don't tell me everyone else knew!"

"Well…" said Kisame slowly. "It was kind of obvious."

"You're too short to be a guy," said Kakuzu. "And you're curvy."

I smiled and glanced down at my beautiful chest. "I know. Sexy curvy."

Deidara groaned. "How did everyone know but me! Did the Commander know!" He rounded on Itachi, daring the Commander to say yes.

"Hn."

"Don't hurt the Hottie!" I cried, drive-tacking Deidara to stop him from hitting Itachi.

"Hey!" cried Hidan angrily. "I thought I was the Hottie!"

"You're both Hotties!" I exclaimed. I clasped my hands together and made moon eyes at the both of them. "You're so tall and handsome – with the body of a chiseled sculpture. You're both like gods of divinity!"

"Dessie, you're drooling."

I turned around and saw Leader standing there, looking faintly amused.

"Father!" I cried, throwing myself in his arms to give him a hug. "I missed you!"

The men behind me grew stiff and when I turned around I saw that they were saluting my father.

"Hey…" I said slowly. "What's going on?"

"Is this your father?" asked Itachi.

"Yeah…"

"He's the general of the Hun army," said Hidan happily.

"Wait… What?"

"You didn't know," said Deidara in surprise. "We pretended to be a part of the Chinese army and trained with them; instead, however, we planned to help the Hun army when Itachi's father called for aid."

"Wait… Itachi was going to betray his own father?"

Itachi shrugged. "Hn."

I smacked my forehead. "Even in dreams these things never change."

"So, Leader," said Hidan, walking over ad draping one arm around my shoulders. "Or should I call you daddy?"

I swear I saw Father's eye twitch.

"I think we should get married here," said Hidan. "In the middle of winter… he colder the better…"

"Marriage!" I cried, the truth of his words dawning on me. "When are we getting married! Just because I think you're hot doesn't mean I want to marry you, you shithead!" I punched him in the jaw and stepped away, raising my fists and preparing to fight. Hidan just laughed.

And then I was in a wedding dress, clothed in white with a crown of daisies on my head (courtesy of Tobi, who had originally made them for Hannah). Leader was wiping away a tear in his eye as he walked his daughter down the aisle. And at the alter of Jashin there was…

"!"

I sat upright, as if a bolt of electric energy had just shot through my body. An arm dropped into my lap and I looked at it through the darkness, scrutinizing it carefully. It was well made, each muscle carefully defined and toned. It was a man's arm. Slowly, my eyes followed the arm to the equally attractive shoulder and, eventually, to the head. And that oh-so-familiar face.

"Hidan!" I cried, kicking him in the shin underneath the covers. "Why are you in my bed!"

"Urg…"

Groggily, Hidan sat up. The covers fell away revealing his bare chest and, um, so much more. I screamed and fell out of bed, trying to get away from him. I landed with a heavy thump on the floor and, sitting there, I realized that I wasn't wearing much in the clothes department either.

"What did we do? I asked.

And then it all came flooding back to me.

My face started off as white then it changed to a deep red as I remembered everything. Finally, I got to my feet and, trying to keep the grin off my face, I said, "Don't think this changes anything. I still hate you."

Hidan snorted. "That's not what you said earlier."

"Ignore that. It was a one time thing."

"Um… You said it again in bed. And again… And again… Oh and that time too…"

"Shut up!" I grabbed a pillow off the bed and threw it at his head. He dodged it and caught hold of my arm, a sly grin on his face. He pulled me back into the bed and I slid under the covers (who am I to reject the warmth of sheets?).

"So why were you screaming?" asked Hidan. "Was I that scary?"

"Bad dream," I said darkly. "And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse – I woke up next to you."

Hidan snickered. "So what made the dream so bad? Was I in it?"

"Yes you were. You were evil and I killed you."

"And that was the scary part? Were you that sad you killed me, bitch?" He tipped his head back and let out a bark of laughter.

"No. The part that had me screaming was the fact that I was walking down the aisle towards Zetsu."

"Zetsu?"

"Zetsu."

"Zetsu's married to Hannah."

"I know, She was mouthing 'thank you' to me as I walked down the aisle."

Hidan laughed again. "Oh Hannah, she would do that. She's a good Donkey Bitch – leaving you to marry that cannibal and all. Though I don't know why, in his right mind, Zetsu would want to marry you."

"I don't know either," I said, nestling back against the pillow. "Maybe someone blackmailed him into it."

"Maybe that Blond Fur Ball."

"Zetsu would rather eat Deidara than listen to a word he has to say."

"Good point."

"It's all just a dream, anyways."

Hidan grinned slyly and, before my mind could properly register what was happening, he rolled over on top of me and said, "In reality, you're mine. All mine."

"You're a pervert," I said. "Did you know that?"

"And you love it."

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up, Hun."

A/N: The last line is a reference to Dessie's dear, not a term of endearment. This is a rare chapter for me, because romance is not my style. I can have nice little flirting relationships where a guy and a girl bully each other and makes joke etc, but romance is sooooooo not my style. So please forgive me for my poor writing on this part. However, here begins Dessie and Hidan's relationship and, hopefully, it will last longer than Dessie and Itachi's relationship. Also, Dessie's dream made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Now, I would like to point out that these three updates are my Thanksgiving gift to you. And in return, since it's Thanksgiving (a time of giving) you should give me some reviews! Otherwise the Hun army will find you - and it won't be quite as romantic as Dessie's encounter.