Review Time:
Rainbowkittyblossomwings - That's why Momoka likes him! Hehe, Fuyuki was fun to write about. Having a girlfriend would be one way to boost his confidence, right? And yep, I've been hinting at Haru for a while. Anything is possible if you have Kururu on your side.
Thanks for always reviewing btw.
Chapter 10 - Giroro IV
The school day was over. As the students exited the building, Giroro watched carefully from some bushes. Did he intercept all of the flyers? And what did Dororo talk to Natsumi about?
Did he tell her about Keroro's plan?
"Gee, Corporal, you sure like to watch Natsumi!"
"WHA-HUH?!" Giroro spun around. "M-Mois, what the hell? It's suicide to sneak up on an armed soldier. Did Keroro send you here?"
"Uncle was wondering what was taking you so long."
"Tch….just monitoring. We can head back now. Better if you keep a low profile too, we don't want Natsumi or any of her friends to recognize us."
"Yessir!"
As the two moved through the bushes, careful to elicit any attention, Giroro saw Natsumi using her phone. She seemed frustrated.
They got home before Natsumi did, although Giroro had to contend with the rest of the platoon when he reentered their basement HQ.
"Corporal! You practically sent the whole day out there! You could've been fielding calls!"
Giroro scoffed. "You're more of the smooth talker than I am. How many people did you even get for this stupid plan, anyways?"
"Show him, Tamama."
"Lots and lots!" Tamama bolted over to Giroro and showed him a handy flip book with the information cards. "I'm gonna make a cartoon of a dinosaur fighting a tank!"
"Focus, Private! ….actually that sounds pretty cool. Anyways, let's start the match making!"
Keroro blathered on and on while Tamama and Mois absorbed every word, but Giroro had other priorities….Dororo. For however long he was gone from HQ to talk to Natsumi, the platoon either didn't care or….well, maybe they just forgot he was there again.
Kururu's soft giggling from the other side of the room pissed him off, too. But there was no telling what HE was up to. At best, sticking with Mois was the only way to fend him off.
"Giroro, are you listening?"
"Of course I am!" He was not.
"Good! Can you get us snacks?"
Giroro stomped out into the hall, but he heard footsteps.
"Giroro."
"…."
"I know you saw me and Natsumi earlier today. You don't have anything to worry about, I tipped her off."
"I don't know what you're talking about, Dororo."
"You're my friend, Giroro. Natsumi is a good person. I know you value her happiness above anything else. I….support you."
Giroro just climbed up the ladder.
His heart skipped a beat when he saw Natsumi in the kitchen, washing some dishes. He could see the reflection in the window. She was still upset about something. But perhaps this was his chance to feel the room.
"Hey, I'm….just gonna get some snacks for the platoon."
"Matchmaking service?" Natsumi turned around. "That stupid frog really thinks he can manipulate love like that? Only idiots use online dating, anyway."
"Guess you know about the plan….." Giroro opened up the cabinet. "I think it's dumb too. If you liked someone…..you'd just tell them. Uhh, that's how it works on Keron anyways."
He couldn't meet Natsumi's gaze. She'd see his blush.
"Yeah? Well maybe there's SOME merit to it, I mean…..what do you say when you feel like you can't tell the person directly?"
Giroro's hand shook as he picked up the potato chip bag.
"I don't know." Don't prod, don't prod….wait, what if she wants someone to help her? But I would only be undermining myself…..change the subject! "You seem a little less upset today."
"Me?" Natsumi sat down and sighed. "I'm still pretty annoyed. I'm trying to get in contact with Koyuki."
"I meant yesterday. What had you so bothered?" Giroro finally shut the cabinet door. Now the goal was to get to the other room without seeing her face.
"It's….nothing."
"Are you sure? You can tell me, I won't tell the others."
"It's not something I like talking about."
Giroro twitched. The best way to get closer to Natsumi was to be someone she could trust. Any chance to be more emotionally valuable than Saburo was something he couldn't resist. But he couldn't force her to open up if she didn't want to.
"But, uh….Giroro?"
He turned his head.
"You guys can only do these dumb plans for so long, right? What happens once your planet starts demanding some results?"
There was only so many times Keroro could lie or make excuses for their lack of conquest (one house in Japan wasn't even a city block, let alone a country, let alone a continent). Giroro knew this. And he had the feeling everyone in the platoon knew it.
"I don't know. Maybe they'll send us more soldiers, maybe take over the entire invasion."
"….."
"Not that it matters. I'd make sure you and your family were safe."
Natsumi chuckled, but it wasn't humorous. "You'd be a traitor then? What happens to those?"
Dunno. I've never met one still alive.
"Took you so long, Giroro! Give me chips!"
Giroro handed over the assorted snacks to Keroro and Tamama; they practically devoured them like hyenas. But soon the green frog looked to a big monitor with a bunch of random code.
"Alright, Kururu, if the Japanese population is 120 million or so, tell us how many bachelors signed up for the service?"
"Click."
VALUES DISPLAYED: 25
"GERO?! That's nothing! And if there's 25, how are we supposed to make an equal number of couples from that?! Saw someone in half?"
"Is it surprising?" Kururu giggled. "It's a tough market, Captain."
"But all those calls!"
Dororo sweatdropped. "It's possible some didn't like the customer service, or maybe it was done as a prank? How many weren't just Tamama adding more cards for the flipbook?"
"Uhhh…."
"NO! Natsumi's school should be signing up by the bucket load! Hit refresh!"
VALUES DISPLAYED: 34
"Finally some good news! Again!"
VALUES DISPLAYED: 34
"I don't understand! The calls weren't the only way to sign up, there was a website on the ad! Kururu, I demand you pull up the Super Kissy-Kissy Love Service website!"
"Aye aye, sir."
But it was clear why the system barely any applicants; the website was an atrocious mix of colors and crude font. Any sane person would think it was a scam. (Which it was, but that's besides the point).
"Who designed this?!"
"I did, Sarge!" Tamama declared. "Kururu let me pick the colors and everything! Red, pink, some more red, yellow, green, red again-"
"Private, I can smell the malware! Fix this, Kururu! I'll give you a better design! In the meantime….." he looked over at the other platoon members. "We'll need to do some advertising."
Oh no….
Eventually Giroro found himself in a very, VERY uncomfortable situation - Keroro's idea of advertising their matchmaking service was to use the biggest medium the population of Pokopen would utilize - informative internet videos. He sat, twitching, as Mois went through the 5th take:
"Man! I'm so lonely and upset and possibly depressed! If only….if only there was a way for me to find that special someone!" She was overacting of course, but Mois kept checking her script. "Uh…line?"
"Hey! I just stumbled upon this amazing website!" Dororo read out.
"Really? What is it?!"
Giroro groaned. Kururu was in the corner, reprogramming things at Keroro's command, but the platoon leader was also trying to make sure the video looked really convincing; Mois certainly looked the part of a regular teenager, but-
"This is so stupid! What person just randomly admits they're lonely and upset?! And possibly depressed?! This isn't some medication ad!"
Keroro scoffed. "Well Corporal, maybe YOU should do the video! We can always photoshop and greenscreen any oddities, like your body."
"Me?" Giroro looked at the camera. "You know what…..fine. But I'll decide what happens."
XXXXXX
The video opened with Giroro sitting by the rainy window, just looking out at the sky. He sighed and turned around, picking up his cup of tea to drink from.
On his desk was a slip of paper of a girl's name, although the viewer couldn't see beyond the first character.
"…..No, I won't give up. Just because you're far away, that doesn't mean we can't be close. But what to do…." He checked the internet for an answer, thumbing through those usual ads for matchmaking. "No…they're all the same! I need something different."
His hand froze on the mouse.
"Wait….maybe…."
He checked his email, where his old friend Dororo had sent him a wedding photo of his new bride, Tamama. They looked so happy…and how did it all begin? Giroro scrolled through his inbox all the way back at the first email Dororo had sent him.
"Hey, Giroro, I hope you're well. I've been chatting with this girl I met online, from this site. And y'know….I think we have a connection."
"That's what I want. A connection."
Giroro phoned the service's number.
"Yeah? Super Kissy-Kissy Love Service? I heard you make dreams come true. Met this great girl, how I do get reintroduced into her life? What? I just need to make an account? Tch."
Giroro pulled up the website.
"Let's see….name….date of birth…..and location….that's it. My love is yours to craft."
He looked at the paper again. He met this girl while on duty and she captivated him ever since, but he had lost her phone number.
"This is it! My dream girl….it's…..actually her…..!"
XXXXX
"I get it! Then the final shot is me in a wig!"
"NO!" Giroro spluttered. Kururu was editing the finishing touches of the video; obviously the main edit was not making Giroro appear as a frog alien. "We don't see this girl! It's ambiguous!"
"I liked it!" Mois said. Dororo and Tamama seemed pleased too. ("You really nailed the part of a desperate bachelor, Corporal!" said the private)
"Kukuku, not bad for someone so foreign to love," Kururu teased.
"More than you'll ever know, four eyes."
"Ohhhh~? Are you sure?"
Was he practically daring him into revealing something? Giroro forced himself to look away. But the video was uploaded to the servers just fine.
"Sweet! Now we wait."
XXXXX
RING RING RING
"Corporal, can you take that?"
The past two hours had Giroro stuck on phone call duty, much to his chagrin. Dinnertime would be soon, which meant he had some free time to train Mois a bit, maybe check up on Momoka.
"Hello?"
"Ah, marvelous commercial, Corporal. Didn't think you could avoid me forever, did you?"
"You….that voice!" He quickly looked to his right. Keroro and Tamama were still playing the same video game while Mois happily watched them. Kururu was in his lab, and Dororo…..seemed to have temporarily left.
"What do you want?" he growled.
"I told you what I wanted, my daughter's desires. And she desires that Fuyuki boy you seem to be focused on."
Who was this person? Giroro searched his memory for any combination of a daughter-father team and….then, it clicked.
"Nebula."
"Correct! I know your commander is on board in helping me, but you seem to be the source of trouble. You almost seem like…..you don't want Fuyuki to be with my daughter?"
Giroro realized he had to win this battle with words, not weapons. "We both know Fuyuki sees your daughter as a friend. And that's it."
"Yes, but the same can be said about that Nishizawa girl."
He remembered? No, knowing him, he was watching me! Why does everyone keep doing that?! Dororo, I wish I had your power.
"I wouldn't go after her. She looks frail, but she's just as crafty as me."
"Oh, we'll see. I'm willing to play fair, Corporal, if you are."
CLICK
Keroro paused his game. "Whowazzit?"
"Tch….ever stopped to think how the Hinatas will be involved in this?"
"Oh you're so smart Giroro, but I already have that covered. Fuyuki and Natsumi were put into the program at the beginning."
"WHAT?!"
"Gero gero, don't you see? True love will only distract them so we can climb the ladder and take over the planet! Besides, they're young. Hormones are going cuh-razy!"
How many people would flock to it once they knew Natsumi was in the picture? It hurt even more because that video was Giroro's subtle way of admitting the truth, in a way she wouldn't realize. It felt good to be open but at the cost of inviting more people to pester her?
"You didn't put her phone number on her profile, did you?"
"Gero?"
BANG
"YOU STUPID FROGGGGGGGGGGGG!"
Natsumi had kicked the door down and with one quick motion, grabbed Keroro by the head and threw him into the wall.
"H-Hey Natsumi….!"
"Can you EXPLAIN to me why, just out the blue, I'm getting all these text messages and calls on my phone?!"
"That….means…..our video….worked?"
Natsumi shoved her foot into Keroro's face. "Worked, huh? I'm NOT being a part of your stupid plan! And LOOK! LOOK AT THIS!"
Giroro's face turned bright red - the profile picture was her at the beach, from the time she was aged up and told adult jokes. I.e, not what Natsumi currently looked like.
"DO I LOOK LIKE SOME SWIMSUIT MODEL TO YOU, FROG?!"
"Natsumi…..I'm sorry…..but you're popular…..give it…..a chance! If it works for you, then what's the problem…..?!"
Keroro slumped to the floor once Natsumi's foot relented.
"Tell you what. You put Saburo on this, and I won't spend the next 30 minutes leaving the shape of my fist into your skull. I'll play along for now, stupid frog."
"You will?"
She will? Giroro's teeth were practically grinding. How could he defeat Saburo without tossing his hat into the ring himself?
"But you gotta play fair, Natsumi. If other boys want to take you out, you let them!"
"Let them…?" Natsumi thought it over. Giroro feared what she had planned, since she had a confident smirk. "But if it backfires….I'm coming for you."
"Can't you just beat up Kururu instead, he made the darn website!"
"And Giroro made that video!" Tamama pointed out.
"Giroro? Video?"
"N-Natsumi has no time to see that!" he hissed. "It's just an advertisement for the website, no need to take it so seriously."
"Lemme see."
"Huh?!"
"I'll show you," said Kururu, whom had suddenly reappeared, laptop in hand. He certainly felt Giroro's burning rage but torturing him was always fun. "Click." Natsumi saw the video begin to play…
No, nononononononononononnononono!
Giroro didn't want to see her reaction, even if it wasn't laughter. He bolted out of the room as fast he possibly could, past the house's ghost girl, and up the ladder yet again.
"Oh…..I wonder why he's in a rush….."
Giroro collapsed on the couch. Could he even face Natsumi after all that? This mission was getting more complicated than he had realized.
"Giroro! Are you alright?"
"Wha….A-Aki?"
"Yeah it's me," the Hinata mother said, hanging up her coat for the evening. "What's got you down? Hungry? Is Natsumi making dinner?"
"Ah, no it's…..I'm just making a fool out of myself. I needed some time to think."
"That right?" Aki sat down next to him. "You know, you're a popular one. Every time people see characters like you in manga, oh, they go so crazy. Tough and strong on the outside, but sweet on the inside."
"S-Sweet? Uh…..I'm a Corporal, ma'am."
"And I'm a mother of two children, also a manga editor! We've all got different sides." She turned on the TV. "Fuyuki's not home yet….he must still be with that Momoka."
The date! "How uh…..do you think it went?" Giroro was eying the door.
"Oh I'm sure it went fine, but I don't think Fuyuki even knows it was a date. Come now, a girl the same age as you invites you somewhere? She probably likes him a lot."
You have no idea….
"Natsumi on the other hand-"
Giroro's head spun so fast it almost snapped off.
"Well…she's always talking about that Saburo. I haven't met him too many times but he seemed like a nice guy."
"I….guess….."
"But you know, I'd be happy with whoever. Whoever can make my baby girl happy."
Giroro blinked. Dororo had similar sentiments, but it was unclear how much Aki had observed from the platoon's shenanigans. Sure making Natsumi happy was a no brainer, but this woman would potentially be the in law to both him….and Momoka. It was only fair she liked him too.
"Whoever….?"
"Yeah. Times have changed. If it's a boy, it's a boy, if it's a girl, it's a girl."
"…..alien."
"Huh?" Aki looked at Giroro. "Alien?"
"Alien. Well….you know, with our presence the family's seen a lot of them. What are the odds Natsumi finds herself drawn to some kind of otherworldly being?"
"…."
"What? Did I say something wrong?"
"Nothing, I was looking at an old picture….but yeah, what kind of question is that? Why would I say no to anything that makes Natsumi smile?"
"Because…" Giroro hated the fact that he couldn't be honest. But damn it, this was Natsumi's own mother. If her father was gone, then that only meant she was twice as important. "Because I…"
"Youuuu what, Giroro?"
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I can't…..I can't say it! I CAN'T SAY IT! How he just wanted to take his gun and blast his own face. This was only the beginning. If he couldn't admit it to other people, then his mission would ultimately be a failure.
"Hey Mom! When did you get home?"
N-Natsumi?
"Oh, just now. I guess it's just me and you, kiddo. Maybe Fuyuki will be home soon."
"Sure," she smiled, "I'll start dinner then! Giroro, I don't know why you were embarrassed. For a cheesy ad, you played the part well. Any girl would believe you."
"R-Really?"
"Uh-huh. Keep an eye on the frog for me, okay?" And with that, she stepped into the kitchen. Giroro sat down, stunned by the fact that Natsumi had indirectly complemented the way he bared his own soul. Maybe…..maybe there was hope.
"Hey."
He looked over at Aki, who winked.
"That's a good start."
Maybe it could be a reality.
FIN
Ending notes: I feel like these are still too short? Are they? I'm trying to get things moving, so I appreciate any feedback. It's making a buzz on Ao3, too!
Next time is Momoka, then Koyuki's first chapter.