When Caroline next saw Elizabeth, she had all but forgotten their last meeting. Well that wasn't strictly true but she had had a few days for it all to sink in and she had replayed conversations over and over in her head until she had found ones that had contained blatant references to Dan and Elizabeth. Truth be known, she was still angry at herself for not picking up on it.
"How have you been?"
Elizabeth opened her arms and Caroline instinctively fell into the hug, gently rubbing her back.
"Fine. Fine. How are you?"
She stepped back and looked at Elizabeth who was already changed and in her uniform, her hair pulled back in a low bun.
"Oh, you know. Another day, same old crap. Are you looking forward to going back to work?"
Caroline groaned.
"No, not in the least. I have missed the children, the school, even some of the staff. But it will be so hard to tear myself away from Flora. And visiting Kate has become the highlight of my day. I still have no clue what I am going to do with Flora."
"Have you thought about putting her in a nursery?"
Caroline folded her arms across her chest.
"Kate absolutely hates that idea. It wouldn't even be open for discussion. Trust me."
"OK, but hear me out. There is a nursery at the side of the hospital that is mostly used by staff. They do have a few people who work nearby who use it but in the man it is nurses and doctors. It is accessible from inside the hospital and we do have some of the team who spend their lunch breaks in there, breast feeding and the likes. "
Caroline was suddenly interested.
"So err, so I could drop Flora off before work and Kate could pop in during the day and then I could pick Flora up when I had finished work?"
Elizabeth nodded.
"Exactly. Why don't you talk to Kate about it? I am not even sure if there are any places available in the tiny tots room. But you can start the discussion. It would be a perfect solution, a temporary solution, to your situation."
"I will. Thank you Elizabeth. I don't know why I didn't think about it before. And I thought I was the smart one."
She winked at her and walked off down the corridor to see Kate.
Elizabeth watched her go, admiring the way she strutted when she walked and the outline of her thighs in her pencil skirt and stiletto heels.
Kate was over by the window when Caroline entered and she tentatively turned around to see who it was. The smile on her face told her how happy she was to see her and she started to walk over towards the door. Caroline noticed that she was walking unaided and she had to swallow hard to stop the tears from flowing. She felt like a proud parent watching her child take her first steps.
Kate fell into her arms and the temptation to kiss her was too much. Holding her close, Caroline pressed her lips onto Kate's, gently stroking her cheek with her finger. Kate returned the kiss with passion and her tongue slipped into Caroline's mouth, lightly caressing the inside. Caroline moaned and pulled away.
"God Kate. I feel like a teenager on a first date. All I want to do is ….."
She leaned in close and whispered something into Kate's ear and she giggled, blushing slightly.
"Mrs McKenzie Dawson! I am shocked."
Caroline smiled.
"So am I. I can't believe what is going through my head. I just want "
The door opened and the pair stood ramrod straight like 2 guilty children.
"Is she up for it then?"
Elizabeth entered the room with Kate's medication in a small plastic cup and popped it on the top of her locker. Kate looked confused.
"Up for what? Caroline, what's going on?"
Elizabeth suddenly looked very awkward.
"Oh, you haven't told her? I'm sorry."
Caroline looked embarrassed.
"No, no I haven't had chance."
Kate sat down on the edge of the bed and Caroline sat at the side of her and picked up her hand.
"What's all this about Caroline? It's nothing bad I hope?"
Caroline looked down at the floor and pursed her lips. She took a deep breath and faced Kate who was suddenly very worried.
"So you are not going to like this but here goes. Elizabeth and I, well we were just chatting about me going back to work and Flora and nurseries and things. And she mentioned that there was a nursery next to the hospital. A very good nursery. And then she asked if I had considered it and, well, I said I hadn't but that I hadn't ruled it out and I would talk to you."
Kate looked annoyed.
"So you discussed putting Flora, our daughter, into a nursery without even consulting with me? Caroline, you know how I feel about nurseries. I don't want to do it. I won't do it."
Elizabeth discreetly backed out of the room and mouthed "Sorry" to Caroline. She put up her hand in acknowledgement.
"It wasn't like that Kate. It was hardly a discussion. I just happened to mention that I didn't know what I was going to do with Flora, you know, on a more permanent basis when I went back to work. Elizabeth, well she mentioned the nursery and I said that I would discuss it with you. End of. There was nothing more to it than that. It sounds perfect Kate. You can walk to it from here so you would be getting some exercise. And you can see Flora anytime you want."
Kate's eyes lit up.
"Really?"
"Well I expect there will be some limitations, some visiting hours. But I'm sure that they won't mind you going down to feed her at lunch time. We would have to ask them. We would need to know what their ground rules are. And we don't even know if there are any places, if they can take her. It's a very popular nursery and it might be full. So we might not have to worry or debate it."
Caroline stopped to gauge Kate's reaction. She was pushing herself up off the bed.
"Let's go and ask."
"What, now?
"Yes, now."
Leaving Flora with strangers was very difficult but Caroline knew it was the only option until Kate was released from hospital and was well enough to look after her on her own at home. She handed over the changing bag, which had suddenly multiplied in size, and gave Flora a kiss.
"Her mummy will probably pop down to see her at lunch time."
The young nursery nurse looked bemused.
"She's in the hospital recovering from an accident."
"So you're not her mum?"
Caroline moved awkwardly from one foot to the other and looked around for the lady who had met with her and Kate when they first enquired about a place.
"Yes, yes, I am her mum. I am Flora's mum. She has 2 mums. It's complicated. Well, actually it's not that complicated really. We are gay, Kate and I, her other mummy, and so Flora has 2 mums. So now you know that, do you need me to do anything else only I need go get to work."
Caroline was suddenly feeling very accomplished with what she had just said but was anxious to get off.
"No thank you. Flora will be fine with us, won't you Flora? Give your mummy a kiss."
Caroline bent down and kissed her head.
"Bye Flora. Bye bye."
And without looking back, Caroline almost ran down out of the door and jumped in her jeep.
With a deep sigh, she started the engine and slowly pulled away.
"Nope, no, she will be absolutely fine. I know she will."
The day dragged for Caroline and she watched the clock from 4pm until she was due to leave at 530pm to pick up Flora. She didn't normally work that late – she was usually home by 5pm so that she could cook tea after which she would retire to her office and finish off her paperwork. But she wanted to catch up on what had been happening at work while she had been away. And if she left Flora until the nursery shut up at 6pm, she could nip along and visit Kate.
Caroline had no trouble parking and made her way to the nursery, suddenly anxious to see Flora. She had really missed her and she was desperate to pick her up and see Kate. It had been a long day but catching sight of Flora through the window, sat in her car seat and waiting for her, lightened her mood.
"Has she been OK?"
The words were thrown in the general direction of the staff who were tidying away and she dashed in and scooped up Flora. She quickly fastened into the car seat and was heading back to the door before anyone responded to her.
"Yes, she has been fine. Her mum, her other mum, dropped by at lunchtime to feed her and spend some time with her. And she has had a couple of long naps. Oh and 3 bottles and 2 dirty nappies, one of them really smelly and a little bit loose."
Caroline stopped and turned around.
"Oh, right, oh thank you. Do you err, did you really need to tell me that? Well, I suppose you did actually. I need to know don't I? I'll keep an eye on the poo situation. Not literally. Anyway thank you. Thank you for having her, for looking after her. I will see you tomorrow."
And without waiting for an answer she was gone and heading to the main hospital and the lift lobby.
Although she was the head of a very successful independent school, she still amazed herself at how flustered she got sometimes, especially in the company of younger adults. The panic must have been evident in her voice.
"I'll keep an eye on the poo. Really Caroline?"
Kate was dozing when Caroline entered the room and she stirred when she heard her footsteps.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."
She stepped forwards and kissed her with a longing and yearning that she knew she would never get used to.
"How have you been?"
"Bored."
Kate looked like a sullen child.
"I went to see Flora at lunch time and spent an hour with her. It was wonderful. I miss her when she's not here. And I have been to physio in the pool today which was a change to walking up and down those pretend flights of stairs."
Caroline picked up her hand and kissed her finger tips, one by one.
"Be patient. You have come so far in such as short space of time. It will only be a matter of days before you are fit to come home, you mark my words."
Kate pushed herself up in the bed and looked longingly at the car seat. Caroline took the hint and unfastened Flora and handed her over.
"I know. It's just that spending time on my own with Flora today has got me wanting to come home and be a full time mummy. I've wanted this for so long. And now it's finally here, now that I finally am, I can't enjoy it. Not properly anyway."
Caroline looked down at her wife and daughter and smiled. Her eyes were full of so much love and she felt like the luckiest woman alive.
"I want that more than anything too. I want to come home to you every night and have you cook my tea and bring me a glass of wine and rub my feet."
Kate tutted loudly.
"I will do no such thing Mrs McKenzie-Dawson. Hey, Elizabeth was on duty earlier and we were chatting, like you do. Anyway, she has invited us over to hers for a meal with the kids and Dan, once I get out of here. I think that would be great, don't you? Caroline?"
Caroline was looking at a spot on the wall above Kate's head, trying to concentrate on something else.
"What? Oh, sorry. Err, do you really think they are our type Kate, that we will get on with them? We only know Elizabeth in her professional capacity and we haven't even met Dan and the kids are, well, the kids don't even belong to them. They could be, well, you know.
Kate looked astounded.
"They could be what? Feral? Savages? Caroline, you are so bigoted sometimes. You only spent a short time with Greg and you never really spoke to him, not properly. Does this mean you think our daughter is, well, you know."
Kate made inverted commas with her fingers.
"Of course not Kate. Our daughter is perfect. Beautiful. Not that Elizabeth's children are ugly. Well actually, they could be."
She paused for a brief second and took a deep breath. Nervously, she started to run the edge of her jacket through her fingers.
"I think Elizabeth has, that she is, well, that she has a thing for me. A bit of a crush."
Kate burst out laughing.
"You're not serious are you?"
The look on Caroline's face told her she was and she tried to keep a straight face.
"Oh, you are."
Caroline was mortified.
"It's not funny Kate. I get the distinct impression that she wants more than just friendship."
Kate sniggered and covered her mouth.
"So this invitation to dinner then, with her and Dan. What do you think that is about? Perhaps you think that she a bowl on a table at the bottom of the stairs and she expects us all to throw our car keys in it on the way in?"
Caroline gasped.
"What, like a swingers par …. You are kidding aren't you Kate. Oh my God. What if she is. What if her and Dan are "
"Caroline, stop. I was joking. Elizabeth and Dan will just be your normal run of the mill gay couple with 2 kids. And I am sure that Elizabeth fancies you no more than she fancies me."
"Don't joke about things like that Kate."
Caroline dug her hands deep into her pockets and started to walk around the room.
"I can't put my finger on it Kate. It's just a feeling I get when she looks at me. She sort of, well, you know, undresses me with her eyes."
Kate sat upright and stared open mouthed.
"You really are serious aren't you? Caroline, you've got to stop this. Up until the time you knew that Elizabeth was gay, you used to say what a perfectly lovely woman she was. How kind and caring and thoughtful. And now that she has outed herself to you, you suddenly think that she fancies you. Caroline, you are beautiful, charming, sexy, gorgeous. But you are not everyone's cup of tea. Not every gay woman will fall for you. That's not how it works."
"Oh, and I thought that I was irresistible to man and woman alike."
She smiled and went across and kissed Kate and then Flora.
"I hope it doesn't come to the point where I have to say I told you so Kate."