There isn't much to us.
I hurt him, and so I'm repaying him for it.
That's our story, or whatever alias you can think of for my relationship with him. In a way, that really disturbs me. In a strange, twisted way I hate it that I only hang around him because of something that I did that I find it so brutally hard to forgive myself for that even to this day, years from the event, it feels like I'm fighting a war within myself. The war is simple—break a heart and you win. Injure someone and you're accomplished. Hate someone and it just isn't enough. Yet, I'm not sure exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. The opposing sides are myself and, myself. So what do I do?
Break my own heart…or Sora's?
Either way I lose.
-
So there was a beautiful maiden, who was walking in the forest one day, because it seemed a fitting day to take such a stroll.
Yet there was a catch to this fairy tale. The beautiful maiden wore only black, and the particular October day was dark and overcast, and the forest she was walking in had creepy-looking fog that swirled around the maiden's feet menacingly, and the trees cracked and twisted this way and that, kind of like a haunted forest. In a clearing, there was a large, blackened cauldron just sitting there, as if it were daring the maiden to come closer.
The maiden, being particularly curious, decided to impose upon the urge to move closer to the cauldron. As she peered inside, she saw a gathering of green apples, all looking quite beautiful and tempting.
As she looked up, she set eyes on another person staring back at her. It was a prince, she knew, and he seemed to have the same idea.
The maiden took out an apple and offered it to him, never once cracking a smile. He declined, hand movements insisting that she went first. The maiden agreed and took a bite of the apple.
And then she died, and the prince lived happily ever after, as sadistic as that sounds.
-
Etsu's eyes flicked open, and she immediately frowned and buried her face in the pillow in humiliation that her own mind had created such a strange, clichéd dream.
And why would the prince live happily ever after if the maiden died? Wasn't she supposed to live after he kissed her, and then they both lived happily ever after?
She scolded herself for the stupidity of the dream, smacking her forehead roughly as though that would banish it from her brain entirely, and she wouldn't have to deal with it ever again. Etsu sighed passively, and glanced over at the clock. It was Saturday, and around noon. She had slept that late?
There was a nagging feeling somewhere in the back of her mind that had something to do with the dream that she had just unwillingly witnessed before waking. Yet she ignored it, putting it off as the semester tests that were approaching. She flung an arm over her eyes in an attempt to block out the mocking sunshine that streamed in through the open windows, and mentally cursed the person who had undone her thick curtains.
She wasn't getting out of bed.
Not now, anyways.
-
Talking to Sora on the phone was a waste of time, Etsu decided, because he didn't talk. That much was obvious. But it was a good sort of waste of time if you had something you desperately needed to tell, because he clearly had no better choice than listening, unless it was some sort of utter bore, or something he just really didn't want to hear. Yet it seemed mandatory to constantly ask—rather pointlessly—if he was still there, and a tap on the—unused—mouthpiece would signal a 'yes'. It was sort of like sign language, yet with sound.
"I had this ridiculous dream last night." Etsu told him, not surprised to hear silence from the other end. "It was like a twisted, morbid Snow White and the Seven Chibis." She smiled at the thought as she imagined Sora sighing and writing to her that it was 'dwarves', not 'chibis.' "It was really stupid." She repeated. "It was like something from the abyss of a high Dr. Seuss's mind." She laughed briefly; it was awkward to be the only one laughing, smiling, when the person you were talking to was stoic and silent. "I miss you." She joked, and felt her face flush after she had said it.
The nagging feeling grew stronger.
"I'm sorry…for yesterday." She told him finally, biting her lip. "With that Ayu kid?"
The silence was beginning to make her feel rather insane, like she was talking to herself.
"That's just how I am, you know?"
Still she heard nothing, and was beginning to get her suspicions.
"Are you there?"
Tap.
She sighed in relief. "Thought you hung up on me." She grinned. "Okay, so I guess that's all I needed to say." She waited, still some deranged part of her mind expecting him to answer her. "Bye."
She hung up without waiting for him to answer, even if she knew he wouldn't.
-
"Etsu-san?" One of the elderly members of the main house implored as she noticed the teenager walking by, chains on her black, red-lined Tripp pants clinking. She hadn't been by to see Akito in a while, and his assistants were beginning to wonder if she was ever going to come back.
Rumors were saying that Etsu had been looking different lately, like she was constantly in some sort of abyss of depression.
"Yeah?" She asked, smiling.
"N-nothing…" The woman looked away, frowning. The rumors couldn't have been right.
But the smile wasn't genuine.
-
"Akito-sama?" Etsu peered into the room to see Akito laying by the sliding door, wearing her favorite robe and with one arm propped up to support her head. She turned over slowly, though she already knew the voice.
"Hello, Orii." Akito replied simply. "Have you heard what they're saying? Is it true?"
Etsu stared at her in mild confusion, not quite sure what "they were saying" and how to answer.
"I don't understand." Etsu admitted. Akito's pupils seemed to go to slits.
"LIAR!" She shrieked angrily. "You dirty whore!"
"What are you talking about?" Etsu asked softly. She'd learned the hard way that it was best to put off an aura of calmness whenever Akito was in a rage.
"Tell me your relationship," Akito hissed. "With Sora Sohma."
Etsu's blood went cold, all color draining from her face. That had certainly been unexpected. She opened her mouth, yet closed it as she found herself lost for words, trying to think of a valid response.
"I don't have a relationship with him." She replied coolly. "We're friends."
"Friends?" Akito repeated, amused. "Is that true?"
"No." Etsu replied with some hesitation before answering. "Actually…I…I can't stand him." She knew that it was a straight-out lie, what she was saying. Yet she would die if Akito took her anger out on Sora because of Etsu's own stupidity.
"Are you lying, Orii?" Akito asked, her tone as sharp as a razorblade and the words icy.
"No." She stated defiantly. "I-I hate him."
Akito laughed sadistically, getting some amusement out of this. "Are you positive?"
"I hate his very existence." She lied. "He's just so silent—it makes me feel like I belong in an asylum! It's like talking to a mannequin! I hate how he always gets hurt and won't tell anyone, like he doesn't want help!" The addition had some truth in it, yet 'hate' wasn't the proper term—more of 'dislike'.
Akito smirked. "Go on."
"I-I hate how he's always got girls fawning over him, and he pays attention to them! I hate everything—everything about him." Etsu insisted, eyes beginning to sting as she told the lies so simply, knowing perfectly well that only the first sentence was truthful. Her words of hate were like acid as she spoke them. "I hate the way he looks, the way he acts—everything. I'm sick at the sight of him. I hate how he overreacts at everything, and you have to be so damn careful when you talk because you never know when you could step on a mine and send him running off somewhere."
She dug her fingernails into her palm to keep from crying as realization washed over her—her hate of girls that were close with him, her habit of acting differently around him, everything.
The dream was beginning to make sense.
"I hate him so much." She choked out. "So much that I could just die."
"Of course." Akito whispered to herself. "I should have known. It's obvious you hate him."
I hate the way I feel like dying every time I see him upset.
I hate the way I know that I'm the cause of his silence.
I hate the way that he just seems like a precious child to me, sensitive and quiet.
And I hate the way that I could never hate him.
"I'm leaving." She announced, voice strangled on account of her throat that seemed to be closing as the stinging in her eyes worsened.
Without bothering to hesitate, she ran from the room, ran from the main house, and didn't stop running until she was leaning against her front door, panting and crying like there was no tomorrow. She weakly pushed the door open, thankful that her mother and Kaori were out, and forced herself upstairs, collapsing to the floor once inside her bedroom.
"I love you." She whispered to no one in horror, a perfect summary of everything, and imagined that there was a phone in her hand, and that the silence of the empty house was the testing stillness of Sora's silence. "I love you so…damn…much."
A/N: Aw! So sad! Muahaha, I had this planned out since chapter two…
-
BONUS PARODY:
-In a dark room somewhere-
Mrs. Therapist sat at her desk in her fancy swivel chair, and Sora lay on the couch-thing scribbling away and handing her notes weakly, and then slumping down more on the couch as if he were ashamed to be lying there.
"Uh huh." Mrs. Therapist muttered as she read. "Uh huh. Uh huh. Yeah .Uh huh. How does that make you feel?"
Silence.
"Sohma-san, I think that you're directing your poor self-image at yourself and blaming yourself for much more than you should—YEEEEEK!"
All of a sudden, the lights went out, followed by the sounds of crinkling plastic and someone swearing repeatedly, and muttering something about 'stupid desk.' The therapist screamed one last time, and then there was silence.
The lights came back on with such a blinding intensity that Sora had to shield his lovely eyes. ( :P )
"VENOM, I SWEAR TO GOD." A voice said, out of nowhere.
"Sorry!" Someone else apologized, and the lights dimmed considerably, until it was nearly dark in the room.
"There was a figure sitting in Mrs. Therapist's chair, silhouetted by the shadows cast over its area alone.
Sora stared at it, confused.
"YOU DARE STARE UPON ME?" It demanded, making Sora jump like a guinea pig on cocaine. ( XDD )
Finally, the figure stood and strolled to the front of the desk, its features thrown into the light. It was a girl, a young one, who was dressed in head-to-toe black. Her jacket looked like something from Halloween, imprinted with a human skeleton in the places where her bones should be. She wore black skinny jeans and all-black converse high tops. She had fair skin and an oval-shaped face with light blue eyes. Her hair was jaw length, two mid-neck length locks in the front, and layered. One layer was black, the bottom one, another purple, then blue, and the top layer pink. She grinned evilly at him.
Another figure moved to stand beside the first. She was nearly the same height, two or three inches taller, than the first, and had mid-neck length, layered golden blonde hair and hazel eyes. She wore a black, skull print jacket and skinny blue jeans, and Vans-style shoes printed with small white skulls. She had a rather insane smile on her face, Sora guessed it was intentional.
The first ventured over to where a golf bag was lying, near the window, and slowly unzipped it.
The rest of the cast popped out of the one golf bag.
"WHAT THE HELL?" Ichigo demanded. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" The multicolored-haired girl replied moodily. Her expression switched to where she was smirking at the rest of the cast's confused expressions. "I'm Malicious. I created all of you."
"Not me!" Kyo defended. Yuki and Tohru nodded.
"Except them." Malicious added with a roll of her eyes.
"WHAT?" Etsu demanded. She caught sight of what Malicious was wearing, for she just so happened to be wearing the same thing. Malicious had noticed it, too, and was staring at her with wide eyes.
"ET phony mony…" They both muttered as they touched fingers like that kid and the alien. (I don't take credit for this line. :P Did I write myself in? No. Just my fashion sense. But I exaggerated a little.)
"What do you want?" Ayu cried.
"I want your body." The other girl told her flatly.
There was an awkward silence.
"This is Venom." Malicious introduced. "She's second in command."
Blink, blink.
"I DON'T LOVE SORA, I SWEAR I DON'T!"
Everyone turned around and stared at Etsu.
"What was that supposed to be?" Venom asked.
"What the hell?" Malicious asked.
"You said I love him!"
"No…?" Malicious's tone held confusion. "And nor did I imply it…"
(Not in this parody, at least. :P )
Hey, hey, you, you! I don't like your girlfriend!
Hey, hey, you, you! I think you need a new one!
This time everyone stared at Ichigo, who turned around and answered his cell phone.
"Hello? Oh, my god. You did NOT buy that. NO WAY. Are you kidding me? No way, girlfriend. Oh, my god. NO WAY! He was totally checking you out! Uh oh, I gotta go they're like…looking at me. By the way, you should totally get that manicure!" He hung up.
"What the hell?" Etsu, Malicious, and Venom asked in disturbed unison.
"I have like, no idea what you're talking about." Ichigo flipped his hand at them, using a gay boy voice. ( LE GASP. No offense!)
"LET'S HAVE SOME BUTTSECKS!" Venom randomly shouted. Malicious let out a whoop of agreement.
The cast stared at them in disbelief.
Venom shimmied over to Sora. "Etsu-san wants to BANG you!" She whispered.
He stared at her.
"THEY'RE SO KAWAII!" Kyoumi cried, sweeping Malicious and Venom into a bone-crushing hug.
"BAD TOUCH!" Malicious screeched. "I'M BEING RAPED!" They squirmed out of Kyoumi's grasp, and Malicious went to stand by the window.
"SCREW YOU GUYS, I'm GOING HOME." She announced, and jumped out the window.
Shortly afterward there came the sound of a crash, followed by a cat meow and the random "MY LEG!" that can be heard in the background of various Spongebob episodes.
"I'm okay!" Malicious called.