Chapter Ten: I See You

Jake snuck out just after midnight, intent on getting there quickly. He stayed on two legs to try and avoid anyone on watch tonight, but even with that precaution he still stayed downwind and ran completely silent, just in case.

When he reached her house without getting caught he nearly did a dance, but managed to restrain himself. Still, he couldn't help the grin that spread from ear to ear.

Until he heard her scream.

The sound ripped through him like icicles, claws tearing at his gut, his heart. It was the most horrible thing he had ever heard, so terrified and in pain he lept onto the roof with the intent of breaking through the window, even when common sense told him Charlie would hear that. Common sense was the last thing on his mind at that second. All he knew was that Bella needed him, and that he had to get to her!

He was at her window just when the door opened, and Jake swing himself over the eave of the dormer just as Charlie entered the room.

"Bella, Bella, wake up. It's okay, hon. You're alright," he heard the man murmur to her, and could hear her suffocating her tears and screams. She mumbled something about being fine and Charlie left, closing the door behind him.

Her sobs continued, but muffled now. Jake swore as he realized that she was smothering herself with a pillow to deaden the sound. He crept over the side to open the window, which opened silently, as it was newly put in. Tiptoeing over to her on the pads of his feet, he knelt by her and took her hand while putting one of his own over her mouth. Because of that her startled cry was muffled by his palm, and those big melted chocolate eyes filled with new tears as she saw him.

At that moment his entire world fell apart. The ties that he felt for his father, the pack, his tribe, everything dissolved to nothing. And in their places Bella filled every nook and cranny--and some extra hollows he hadn't even noticed were there. He felt her permeating his senses and shaping herself into his mind and heart. His instincts recognized everything about her and memorized them instantly--her smell, strawberries and cream; the softness of her skin; the colors of her hair and those big, liquid eyes. Everything imprinted into him, and made him whole for the first time in two weeks.

"Jake?" she whispered against his palm, and the feel of her lips moving against him sent a rushing joy through him.

But the tears overflowed and raced down her cheeks, and that newly filled heart broke to see her crying. "Bells, I'm sorry. Don't cry. Please, please don't cry. I'm sorry. I'll leave."

He stood, brokenhearted for both of them, and started for the window. He'd barely reached it when something hit his back, and he nearly cried with relief at the feeling of her arms wrapping around him, but her tears pressing against his back.

"Don't leave," she choked, and Jake swore when the meaning sunk in. Don't leave her, like the other one had. He turned around, bent over and scooped her up to sit on the bed with her in his lap. She looped her arms around his neck and continued to sob until he thought she'd break herself. It was just like when they'd first gotten to the house, and she had just let herself cry over the leech. But now it was his fault for breaking her like this, and the guilt ate at him.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I never meant for any of this to happen. If I could have come sooner, I promise you I would have. I'm so damn sorry, Bells. But I'm not going anywhere now. Especially not after I tell you about--" he was cut off, the air trapped in his lungs as he was choked off by Sam's gag order. He sucked in air as he stopped trying to speak.

"A-about?" she mumbled against his bare shoulder.

His brow wrinkled in an effort to find a way around the command. "About why I wasn't here. Bells, I need you to listen closely. Do you remember when you first came here, to the bonfire, and you pulled me aside and asked about those sto--" he was choking, now, swallowing his own damned words. He'd kill Sam for this, if it didn't kill him first. He breathed through it until he could relax a little.

"The stories? Y-yeah." A delicate sniff was heard and he stroked her back with his large hands, enjoying the fact that he noticed how huge they were against her tiny frame.

"What were they about?"

She stilled. "The... cold ones."

He clamped his eyes shut for a moment, praying for her to remember all of it. "And..."

She looked confused, and he looked around frantically for a clue. His gaze snagged on the end of her bed and his entire body froze. He hadn't realized it when he'd first seen it, couldn't have known. But now, with his new knowledge, he knew he was looking back at himself. How had Sam carved him before he'd been able to shift? How had Sam known? Did he know? Had he ordered Jake not to speak knowing this? No, it couldn't be. Sam wasn't that coldhearted or mean.

Jake looked at her with an intense expression riding his eyes. He pointed to the end with the wolf, then at him. She didn't understand, so he pointed to the other end, at her headboard, where the tribal scene was. Memory kicked in and she looked up at him with wide eyes.

"The wolves?"

He nodded, but the chains weren't gone yet. "What were--" they tightened so hard his ribs hurt, and his jaw locked in place. He panted, fighting it.

"Jake? Jake, what's wrong?"

"Answer. The. Question," he ground out from between his teeth.

"What were they?" He nodded stiffly. "They were... protectors of the tribe. Why?"

With a wonderful release the bindings broke and he sucked in air. Joy broke through him and he hugged her tightly.

"You're fantastic, Bells!" he shut up, listening for Charlie at his outburst. Silence met him, so he turned back to Bella with a smile of pure bliss. "The legends are real; but you already know this. I couldn't see you because just like the cold ones, the wolves are real too. One minute I was fine, and the next I was--oh, wait, I'm not making sense, am I?" She shook her head, and he laughed at nothing, really. "Okay, so the bloodsuckers are real, right?" Her eyes were round as saucers, and he cursed. "I'm sorry to bring them up, Bells, but I need you to understand. You have to."

He sighed, now, pressing his forehead against hers. "Bella, the legends are true. The wolves are real, but we're not just descended from them. We turn into them. I turn into one. But I'm still me, I'm still Jake. Nothing else has changed, I promise."

She looked like she was in shock.

"Please say something!" he said, biting his lip.

His look finally broke through her froze brain, and she saw how scared he was. Scared? It took a few moments to get what of--of her being disgusted of him, of hating him for what he was. She managed a little smile, though the pain of him being gone still ached a little. "It's okay, Jake, really. I don't mind that you're a dog."

Jake's shoulders relaxed so much that his body seemed to wrap around hers, a goofy smile coming over his face. "I was scared you'd tell me to go away now."

She bit her lip and pressed against him more, wrapping her arms around his neck tighter. "I missed you too much to do that. Why did you leave?"

He shook his head, face strained. "I didn't leave. When we first change, it's the most horrible, the most terrible thing ever. I felt like something had put me in a shredder and was tearing me apart one piece at a time." He shuddered at the memory of those first shifts.

Seeing the horror and pain, Bella hugged him closer, and it was now as if she were holding him, not her curled up in his lap. "I'm sorry, Jake. Is it something that stops after a while?"

He laughed a little hysterically. "No. It's something I'm stuck with for the rest of my life."

She ran a hand through his hair and started rubbing gently, helping with the headache he hadn't even noticed until now. "What're the good parts about it?"

He grinned now, and unconsciously pressed his head closer to her hand in pleasure. "The speed," he said without a second thought.

She laughed at his eagerness, both for what he'd said and for what she was doing. She sat up more in his lap to rub more with both hands and laughed when he purred against her. She could feel the rumbles in her body, they were so strong.

"Bella," he sighed in content, "you are a goddess."

She laughed again, and he opened his eyes to peek at her. In that moment, she mesmerized him. Even with dark circles under her eyes and being so skinny he could count her ribs, she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. The darkness of the walls framed her glowing skin in the moonlight, her head thrown back and his smile and laugh escaping her lips and putting a shimmer to her features, she was unbelievably beautiful. If he hadn't already been head over heels for her, he would have tumbled gladly in that one moment.

He didn't think, just knew the look on her face as he cupped her face in his dark hands and leaned in, whispering in Quileute that he loved her, that she was his heart. That she held his. And even though Bella didn't know their exact definitions, she felt the look in his eyes conveying the feelings behind them and the responding melting going on inside of her. Her breath whispered out on a sigh and her eyes closed as she finally let what her instinct was screaming at her to do; let go. Jake saw her capitulation and triumph burst in him a second before his eyes shut as well and his lips brushed against hers once, twice.

Bella felt tingles spread through her and fry her brain as his lips angled over hers, deepening the kiss. Her hands dropped from the top of his head to clutch his shoulders. His warmth seemed to seep into her bones and she pressed closer, thinking of nothing but how wonderful he made her feel in that moment. Beautiful, wanted, the only thing that mattered. The world disappeared, leaving them the only ones that mattered. The pads of his fingers whisked over her cheeks before dropping to her neck, shoulders, down her back to touch the skin in between her shirt and drawstring pants. Her breath hitched and released like a breeze, and her arms wrapped around his neck to press even closer.

Jake loved the feel of her lips against his, the softness of her skin--until something freezing brushed against the side of his neck and the wolf rose so fast to the surface, for one second he was terrified he was going to shift and kill Bella.

He broke away, his entire body going rigid before trembling so hard he couldn't move anymore, couldn't set her down and get away.

"Jake? Jake, what's wrong? What's happening?"

The wolf wanted to rip the cold thing-vampire-to shreds, but there was no taint of dead flesh anywhere. Jake wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in the hollow of her shoulder, drowning himself in her smell, the feel of her skin against his. The beast sidled against the sense of Bella, of its mate, and settled peacefully. The shaking stopped, leaving him with the sick knowledge that Bella had seen him almost lose his control. Would she be terrified? Disgusted?

"Jake?" He heard the fear in her voice and his eyes clamped shut. He leaned away from her, dropping his arms from their vice around her. "Jake, what's wrong?Please, answer me! Tell me what's going on."

His eyes flew open wide to see the fear-for him!- in her eyes and her hands fluttering as if trying to find a place to touch that wouldn't hurt him. A tender smile spread across his lips as he took her tiny hands in his huge ones and pressed them to his face, inhaling her smell.

"Jake, what happened?" Bella leaned closer so their faces were inches apart. "Jake," she pleaded.

He sighed, holding her so that when he lay back on the bed on his side she was still curled next to him. Instinctively she settled in closer to him, tucking the top of her head under his chin. One of his arms wrapped around her while the other pillowed her head. It was then that Bella noticed all the muscles that he had developed over the last weeks. But that wasn't the topic on hand, she chided herself.

"Jake, tell me," she said patiently.

"Whenever we get around vampires we... it's nearly impossible to stay in control." He leaned up on one forearm, looking down at her confusedly. "But why would that happen around you now?"

She shook her head, unsure, but realization made her close her eyes. "Jake... do you remember last spring?" she asked quietly.

He nodded. "Yeah, but what does a bloodsucker have to do with you falling... down... stairs..." His voice died out as a sick feeling started in the pit of his stomach. "You didn't fall, did you?"

She shook her head. "There was this vampire, James, who thought it would be a game, this huge thrill, to get me out from under the Cullens' noses," she said quickly, not even realizing she said their name with no pain, "and so he called me, and I heard my mom's voice on the other end, and I didn't know it wasn't her, it was just a recording from an old video. But I didn't know that," she rambled, needing him to understand.

Jake closed his eyes, A muscle in his jaw spasming. "Bella to the rescue," he rasped.

Bella nodded mutely, though he couldn't see. "I couldn't stand her getting hurt because of me, so I went thinking it'd be a trade, me for her. But he tricked me and..." Bella couldn't finish, but horror and useless terror froze Jake as he realized just how close to losing her he'd been without realizing it. So close. "And then, when they got there, James knew he couldn't get past them all, so he bit me."

Jake's eyes flew wide and he grabbed her arm so tightly she cried out and he softened his grip automatically with a soft apology. But he had to see. The arm not supporting her head drew her arm out for him to see the sparkling crescent scar that had pressed against him. His eyes looked from it to her with the startings of panic. "But if he bit you, then--"

"Edward sucked the venom out, like with a rattlesnake," she said quickly, not wanting him to worry. The tension melted off of him and he raised her arm to his lips to kiss her palm. The warmth of his lips sent a shiver through her again, and he settled back down, keeping his arm around her back and rubbing his chin against the top of her head.

"I'm glad he did. I don't know what I would have done if you had died like that." His fingers threaded into her hair, bringing the silky strands to his face.

She sighed, wondering back to that time without pain. "I used to think about becoming one of them. Of not being clumsy and a weakness to people." She felt Jake tense beside her an rested a hand on his chest quickly. "I know it was stupid, but come on! Give me a break. It's hard to be ordinary against you guys. They're so elegant and graceful, and you, now, with your strength and warmth--"

"And fur," he teased, making her laugh.

"That, too. But seriously, you're so amazing, you just don't realize it! And then there's me, Bella Swan. If I had a native name it'd be She Who Trips Over Air! It's so--"

She was cut off by Jake chuckling right before he leaned down and captured her lips with his. "You're so silly," he whispered against her rose-petal lips. Her eyes were unfocused a little, and it made him ridiculously happy. "You don't get how special you are, Bells. How many people do you think would've just accepted that I burst into a giant dog, leeches, and all of the dangers that go with them like you do?"

"Leeches?" she asked dazedly.

"Vampires, Bells. Keep up here."

She laughed, not even taking offense to the name. "Not a chance," she mumbled.

He smiled at her sleepy tone, and curled her up. "Go to sleep, Bella."

When he went to move her fingers curled around his sides, holding him to her tiredly. "Stay. Please."

Jake sighed, but he was smiling. "I'll stay as long as I can. I don't think Charlie would be pleased if he saw me right about now, not like this anyway."

She mumbled something, and he was exceptionally thankful for his increased hearing in that moment as she whispered, "Love you," as she drifted off.

"Not the way I do, not yet. But we'll work on it, Bella Swan." He kissed the top of her head and drew the covers over them.