"Pick up the phone, Jack," Dan said impatiently. For the past week Jack had bee living in an alcoholic stupor, occasionally going out to feel sorry for himself somewhere else. Dan felt deeply for him but he wished he would do something about it rather than just moping.

Gabrielle wasn't taking his departure well, and now that Steve Taylor had walked out they were desperately short of manpower. And Jack's former landlady, Mary had been admitted. Problems with her pacemaker. And she was under the impression Jack still worked at the hospital. Since Jack wasn't available, she refused to calm down until she spoke to Gabrielle. "Where is he?" she demanded.

"I don't know. Dan's trying to get hold of him."

Mary eyed her suspiciously. "What do you mean, you don't know? You're his girlfriend."

"We broke up."

"Broke up? Why?" Jack adored her, you could tell by the way he was around her, the way he talked about her when he wasn't around her… why had they broken up?

"If you must know, I cheated on him. It was only once and I was stoned so don't look at me like that. I've been through the wringer as it is." And I'm pregnant. The baby Jack had wanted so much… when she had told Frank the first thing he had asked was if she knew who the father was. A fair question given the circumstances, but a humiliating one. Of course she knew who the father was. The timing… her mind raced back to the day Patrick had died and how the thought of getting her pregnant seemed like the only thing that kept him together. Well, he had certainly outdone himself that night. And now she was going to have their baby and she had no idea what to do.

Frank had pointed out that if he still loved her, it might be the push he needed to get back with her. Gabrielle had shaken her head sadly at that. She loved him desperately but didn't want him under those circumstances. She knew how wary he was of getting married on account of pregnancy, knew even if he could be made to make that commitment, he'd resent her for it. She'd rather not have him at all.

"So?" Mary asked. "You're good for him. Make him take you back."

"It's not that easy. You know how proud he is and you know how stubborn he is."

"But you still love him?" Gabrielle nodded sadly. Mary pursed her lips. She was getting through to that proud, stubborn man if it killed her. She had seen the light come into Jack's eyes in the time he had been dating her. Mary hadn't liked that Deanna, but Gabrielle was something else.

"I can't believe you quit! I can't believe you broke up with her!" Mary yelled at him the second he walked in.

"She cheated on me!" Jack yelled back. He couldn't believe he was forced to have this conversation so publicly. Damn Gabrielle for telling Mary.

"So? It's not like you're a saint. Go back to her and beg her to take you back."

"No! Not only did I catch her screwing someone else but he's a colleague, everyone knows." Actually, everyone knew because Rebecca had gotten into a public screaming match with her but that was beside the point.

"So you're embarrassed, is that it?" Mary challenged him. "Could you forgive her if she hadn't embarrassed you?" From behind the curtain, Frank grinned. Maybe Mary being readmitted was just what Jack needed. It hadn't been five minutes and already she was pulling holes in his arguments.

"No!" Why did she have to be like this? Everyone else got his right to hate her forever (even though he still loved her) and publicly humiliate her with his conquests the same way she had done to him. That everyone else was just too scared to incur his temper was lost on Jack. He tried to rein in his temper. "Look, every time I see her, I think about it. And it breaks my heart all over again."

Frank frowned. Not so good.

"Oh, Jack… why do you have to be so stubborn about this? She loves you. No-one's loved you the way she does, have they?" Jack shook his head. Not his parents, not any of his girlfriends, not even the friends and sister who cared about him deeply and were worried about the downward spiral Jack had found himself in. "You're never going to have that with anyone else. Why can't you see that."

They talked for a long time, and Mary finally got him to open up about his abuse. "When it happened, it felt like I was reliving it all over again. I felt… dead inside."

"Oh, Jack." She reached out to stroke his hair. "I wish I could have been there when you were young. I wish I could have protected you. Maybe that's why we liked each other too much. We were too busy surviving other people's bad behaviour to really live ourselves."

Jack sniffled. "Maybe."

"And Gabrielle was there for you the whole time?"

"Mary, I don't want to get into this."

"Was she?" Jack nodded. It went beyond even her being there for him – she had forgiven some pretty awful things. Jack still felt physically ill to think about it. But it didn't erase the image of Steve on top of her from his mind. "Jack, you have to forgive her. You'll never be happy with anyone else like you're happy with her."

"I don't know how to," he admitted.

He saw Mary off to surgery and wandered around for a bit, noting how chaotic the ED was. He asked Bart what had happened; Steve Taylor walked out, he replied. Good riddance to bad rubbish, he thought. Jack suggested Bart take the opportunity to fill Steve's position. "I thought about that. They need a registrar," Bart said regretfully.

Jack started to think. And think. He'd meant what he'd said to Mary about not wanting to be a surgeon, but what she had said, about how happy being a doctor made him – he remembered a time when he could come home weary to the bone and still be happy.

He approached Frank about returning to the ED. "I need a doctor who won't bring his personal problems to work," Frank said gruffly, secretly over the moon that he had both found a replacement for Steve and that Jack was showing signs of moving out of his depression.

"I won't," he said. "I mean, I've got it sorted."

"Will you go to counseling?"

"If that's what it takes."

"What about Gabrielle?"

Jack sighed. "I've thought about that. I'm not happy with having to work with her. But… I need to be around my friends. I don't want to have to start over, not with how vulnerable I feel right now. I – I miss people. I even miss you, Frank."

"When can you start?" Frank asked. Jack smiled.

Somehow, they had ended up on the same case, and they were both convinced Frank had something to do with it. So now they were traipsing through the carpark, looking for this stupid car and this stupid dog. "Hang on… you forgot to ask her what kind of dog it was," he said accusingly.

"Well… so did you! Honestly. Well… anyway. Dogs, they're like their owners."

"Yeah, I've heard all about your pet Rottweiler," Jack could resist teasing.

Gabrielle glared at him, but without much conviction. "Amway, dogs, they're like their owners. It will be some nervous little chiwawa, some – oh, my God!" she screamed in fright and jumped back. Into his arms. He automatically wrapped them around her to steady her.

"That's a nervous chiwawa," Jack smirked. He suddenly became aware that he'd held her after she was steady. She felt good in his arms and his instincts said to pull her into his and maybe start nuzzling her neck… he let her go.

Gabrielle felt rattled by the chemistry that had surged through them when they'd touched. Like that first night when just brushed against her arm sent jolts of electricity through her body. For a second everything had faded away and it was just them. "Let's go," she said, stepping away from Jack, you know, just in case she lost her balance again. She realized if Jack had put his arms about an inch lower, if he was familiar enough with her body, he may have been able to feel the difference.

"You did well today," she conceded in the tea room as she was going through her rosters. Frank and Zoe were having a pow-wow in the office and it really wasn't big enough for three.

"Thanks." He handed her a cup of tea. Lots of milk and sugar, just the way she liked it. "It's good to be back. I missed this place. I even missed Frank."

She grinned. "You're making that up."

"I am not. He's a good boss, for all that he can drive you batty." He shrugged. "I just needed to be around people who knew people… people who loved me. I couldn't take the thought of having to start all over again." His phone beeped and he made a face. "That's my stupid reminder for my stupid counseling session. I'll see you around, OK?" And he left, leaving her feeling bewildered at just how well he had taken to her… and hope that maybe if he could forgive her as a human being, maybe he could forgive her in other capacities.

She was woken up at two in the morning by pounding on her door. Who the hell was it at this hour?

She stared at a very drunk Steve. Oh no. Not now. Not when Jack was actually being nice to her. "Gabby, I want to quit," he sobbed brokenly, and she realized he wasn't drunk but in violent withdrawal. "But I need your help. Please. I can't do it without you."

She let him in. No matter what had happened between them, she couldn't abandon him when he needed her.

"You look exhausted. Didn't sleep well?" There was something that sounded almost like concern in his voice.

Gabrielle yawned. "Steve came over." She realized as soon as she'd said it she should have lied. No, she shouldn't have. She was going to get nowhere lying to him. "It's not what you think."

Jack shrugged. "It's not of my business what the two of you do," he said, although there was a tenseness in his body that suggested he felt otherwise. So she was still seeing the bastard, was she? And things had gone so well between them yesterday. Thank God he hadn't made an ass off himself and kissed her like he'd wanted to.

"He's an alcoholic, Jack. I hadn't seen him for two weeks and then he showed up… he needs help."

"There's this little thing called Alcoholics Anonymous," he said.

"There's a little thing called friendship," she retorted. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap. I'm tired."

"It's OK. My counseling session didn't go to well yesterday. I have a lot to work through."

Impulsive she reached over and squeezed his hand. "I know you do. And you're doing great." She smiled encouragingly at him. She wanted to remind him that she had once promised to always be there for him, weather they were together or not, but she knew it was too soon.

Charlotte could have kicked herself for choosing that moment to walk into the tea room. They had all been holding their breaths in anticipation of Jack's return to the ED and how he would take to Gabrielle. And he had taken to her surprisingly well, as if he had decided to let bygones be bygones. And just a day later they were holding hands and she was smiling at him and he wasn't exactly looking unhappy about that…

Jack jumped up. "I, uh, have stuff to do," he mumbled, and bolted out of the room.

Charlotte sat down. "Sorry," she said guiltily.

"It's OK. I'm just glad he's talking to me."

"Do you think he could ever…?"

"I don't know. I think he still loves me but I don't know if he loves me enough to forget." She bit her lip and felt the tears start. "Charlotte, I'm pregnant – and yes, it's his, I've already been through that with Frank – and if he can't work it out before I start to show… I don't want him taking me back because of the baby. I don't want him to love me for its sake."

"I'll help you," Charlotte said quietly. She'd had her doubts before about Gabrielle's integrity but there it was. She wasn't willing to use the child he wanted so much to get him back, didn't even want him if it was under those circumstances. "I'm his best friend and I know he misses you."

"Thankyou," she said gratefully. "Um… Steve's back. He wants to dry out and he needs my help. I can't deny him that."

Charlotte groaned. Of all the things to happen. "Jack needs to know."

"He already does. I was just telling him."

"… I don't get why he has to go to her," Jack complained to Charlotte over drinks at her place later. "It's not like she's qualified or anything."

"Methinks you have a touch of the green-eyed monster," she said.

"I am not jealous. And I'm not mad, either. Although I think I have a right to be. He screwed her. You know what my mind keeps going back to?" Charlotte shook her head. "When I walked in and they were going at it, I focused on her engagement ring. Like she didn't have enough goddamn respect for me to take it off before she cheated on me."

"Jack, I don't think she thought like that. I don't think she was thinking at all."

He sighed. "I know she wasn't think that, it's just how it felt." His face contorted in a look of such pain that it was obvious he still loved her. "Yesterday she was frightened by this dog and she fell into my arms and I wanted to kiss her so much and then the next thing I thought of was that stupid ring."

"Oh, Jack. Just give it time." But not too much. "It will stop hurting after a while… or at least ease up. I promise."

"So there I was, lying through my teeth and I realized I had just made everything about myself up to impress a guy. I was so ashamed," Zoe concluded her story. She, Charlotte, Erica, Dan, Bart, Jack and Gabrielle were at Cougars having drinks.

"Jack can do a really good impression of a Catholic Virgin," Gabrielle piped up, nursing her one beer after Zoe had commented she never saw Gabrielle drinking anymore.

"Really?" Charlotte asked, interest piqued. "Because that would imply –"

"That I ever was either?" Jack offered to everyone's laughter. "Thanks. Nice to know what my friends think of me." Charlotte poked her tongue out at him. He poked his back. He was in a good mood. The last few weeks had gone by in a flurry of patients and he and Gabrielle were something akin to friends. She'd mentioned Steve twice, once to say he'd started AA and a second time to say he'd moved out. He couldn't admit it to her, but he was pleased to hear it.

"There was this one time that I –" Bart started to say, but Charlotte waved him silent.

"No, I want to hear more about this Catholic virgin thing," she said, amused by the idea.

"My step-grandmother was this real religious nut and convinced I was going to hell – child of adultery and all that. I learnt very quickly to tell her what she wanted to hear and act the way she wanted me to act. I developed a lifelong hobby of taking the piss out of religious people without them realizing. Jenny made Terri look like a liberal when it came to sex so it was easier to do that than horrify her."

Charlotte laughed. "Every so often I understand a little better why you hate religion," she said. "Who's Jenny?"

"Farmgirl's mum." Everyone but Jack picked up on the fact he'd just referred to her as farmgirl.

"Frank, I really need a job."

"No."

"Is it because of the alcohol thing? Because I swear I'm clean and you can test me every day if you like. I'll do the shit shifts, whatever, I don't care but if I can't get a job here, I have to go back to Queensland."

"It's not because of the alcohol – although that's a big part of it. But the biggie is that Jack's back in the ED and he won't be able to work with you." And even if he said he could and tried his hardest for the sake of being the bigger man, Frank knew it would just chip at the small amount of emotional stability he had built up since returning to the ED. And more than that, Jack and Gabrielle were getting along really well since his return. Nothing had happened between them per se but he had heard about the farmgirl reference and he could see with his own eyes the way he watched her. You didn't watch someone like that if you didn't long to be with them.

It was Jack's watching her that worried Frank. He had to know her body well, and it wouldn't be long before he worked it out. If Jack couldn't forgive her of his own accord before then…

"I'm sorry, OK. I'll write you a good reference and I won't mention the alcohol but I cannot have you upsetting Jack."

Steve's eyes went wide in comprehension. He knew there was a long list of people he needed to make up to for his drunken actions, and top of his list was Gabrielle. If cheating on her wasn't the first place, he had gotten her drunk and stoned and proceeded to have sex with her when she was engaged to another man. And at the time he'd been furious she kept calling her Jack. And… he'd hurt her doing it. The shame was almost too much to bear and it was easy to forget Jack in the equation.

"I hated him," Steve admitted. "I saw him as a threat, like she could ever love me that way. Turned out I was the threat to him. I've spoken to her but I can't bring myself to talk about what happened and I don't know if I can ever face him over it."

"You know they're meant to be together. If you ever want redemption, you know you have to square it with him so he takes her back. You can tell yourself otherwise all you like, but you won't be able to even start on forgiving yourself until you do that."

So a few days later Steve scrounged up the courage to show up at Dan and Jack's front door. Dan answered it. "Go to hell," he said, and tried to shut the door in Steve's face.

Steve wedged his foot in the door and forced his weight behind. He'd been expecting to have the door slammed in his face so he went for the element of surprise, pushing his way past a surprised Dan. "Hey! Get the hell out of this house! Or maybe I should just let Jack kill you."

"Quade! I know you're here, you're car's outside." This wasn't exactly how he had hoped it would go but he was here now and he was determined to say what he had come to say. "I'm not going until you talk to me."

"I'm calling the police," Dan said angrily.

"Dan, it's fine, I'll talk to him," Jack said tiredly. He resented his home being invaded by this jerk. It was the only place where he didn't have to pretend to be strong. He looked at Steve. He had kind of known Steve might try to apologize, it was part of the twelve steps. "Look, I'm not interested in your AA redemption bullshit so just say what you came to say and I'll pretend to listen and then go." Dan looked completely bug-eyed when Jack mentioned AA. "Look, I really don't want you to hear this so you think you can go for a walk or something?"

"I'm not leaving you alone with him, I know what you're temper's like," Dan said. As much as Steve deserved to be slugged, Dan would much rather his friend not be charged with assault… or murder. "I'll go to my room and stay there so long as I can't hear voices."

"Fine." Dan went. Jack faced Steve. "Out with it then get out."

"I'm sorry," he said meekly.

Jack had been trying to restrain himself and look like he didn't care, but Steve's apology was all he could take. "You're sorry?" he said indignantly. "You screw my fiancée and you're sorry? After the way you treated her – what, you couldn't stand her being happy with anyone else?"

"No," he admitted freely. "I was so jealous. I was jealous of you when her folks said she was engaged and when I met you – look, I was never going to like you. And when I heard about your reputation I couldn't stand seeing you touch her knowing there had been all these women before her. I… I knew what she could handle and I pushed her to do more than she could so I could take advantage of the situation. I – I mean, I know how you feel about rape and all that and my your standards, that's what I did."

"She looked aware enough of the situation to me," Jack snapped. But in his heart he knew Steve had a point. He couldn't go around bad-mouthing the guy for how many times he'd taken advantage of a drunk Gabrielle and not cut her some slack when she was stoned as well. And given his own hsitory with drugs... "She shouldn't have been doing drugs anyway."

"She was not aware of the situation. She kept calling me Jack. I was so pissed off about it at the time but now… it's something I'm going to have to live with. I can't make it up to her. She said – she said Jack, you're hurting. She didn't even know she was with me, or at least not fully."

The reference wasn't lost of Jack. She had been in a twilight zone, between knowing she was with Steve and reliving the hell Jack had put her through. If anything was going to affect Jac... "I want you to go," Jack said wearily. If he heard much more of this, he was going to break down again, and he'd been doing so well, too.

"You're an idiot, you know that. She loves you. I don't know why but she does. She still cries about Rachel. If I thought I had any chance in hell of getting back with you, I wouldn't be here. But all she does is talk about you. I can't ever make it up to you or her. But you're an idiot if you let her go."

"Get out or I'll call the police." Steve left and Jack collapsed onto the couch, trembling. "He's right, you know," Dan said, coming out from his room.

"How much of that did you hear?" Jack asked. All of it. "Damn it, Dan, I didn't want you to hear for a reason."

"What, you think I don't already know how humiliated you've been? Jack… the thing you have with her… you know this isn't like your dad and step-mum. She was so out of it she didn't realize she wasn't with you. How can you not get that?"

"I saw them. She wasn't fully coherent, I get that… but she wasn't passed out or fighting him either. She let him do it. I saw it."

"See, I think that's what the problem is. If you hadn't seen it I think you'd get it. Steve said it himself, but your standards he raped her. Maybe it would help if you looked at it in those terms." Better to hate Steve for the rest of his life than Gabrielle.

"Did I do something? "

"I'm sorry?" Gabrielle asked, looking up from where she was making coffee. She should cut down on the caffeine, she knew, it was bad for the baby. She pressed her hand against her stomach before turning to face him.

He was standing in the doorway and shut it behind him. "Was it something I did? Did I not pay you enough attention? Had some part of you not forgiven me for what I did to you? Were you having second thoughts about marrying me?"

"Oh, Jack, no. It wasn't anything you did."

"Then why?"

"I don't know why. We were talking and things got out of hand. If I could take it back I would."

"I know," he said, surprising her. It was the first concession he'd given to her remorse. "Were you really so out of it that you were calling him Jack? He told me, was over yesterday," he explained when she looked surprised. "Doing his redemption thing. So… were you really that out of it?"

So Steve had decided to get involved. Gabrielle knew Jack would never understand, but it said a lot about Steve's genuine guilt over the things he had done while drunk. "Yeah," she admitted. "I know that's not an excuse and some part of me was aware and I just… I couldn't fight it. I remember knowing it felt all wrong but I couldn't grasp why. Like I was in a fog."

"I couldn't stop thinking about you when I was with Rachel," he said, and although she flinched to hear him bring it up, she was glad to hear it – even if it had been at Rachel's expense. "I kept thinking of the first night we were together, kissing her on the drive, going past Dan in the lounge… and how much I wanted to be with you."

"Jack, I'm so sorry."

"It's that I saw it that bothers me the most. I think if I hadn't, if you'd just told me about it, I could have put it into context. But every time I think about it, I see the fact you were still wearing your engagement ring. It's this stupid detail that I keep coming back to. But if it's worth anything, that's kind of fading. I'm trying to focus on the fact you were too out of it to know who you were with. I know I haven't always done the right thing by you in the past and you've been a lot more understanding."

"Thankyou."

The look on his face changed and he met her eyes. He'd come to a decision, she realized, and she felt sick with nervousness. "Gabby, if you let yourself get into a situation like that again, that's it. You shouldn't have been so stupid as to be doing drugs with him in the first place. And I don't want you seeing him. At all. I don't care that needs you. He has his sponsor. I need you more, farmgirl. Maybe I'll change my mind in the future but for now I don't want you to have anything to do with him. And you need to get tested. And I want you to pick out a new engagement ring. I'm going to be reminded of what happened every time I see it."

Gabrielle gasped. She'd been hoping for a reconciliation, but this – "Jack are you serious? You still want to marry me?"

"I just said that, didn't I?"

"Oh, God." She suddenly felt very dizzy. "Oh, God, Jack, I'm going to –"

In a second she was in his arms and crying hysterically against his chest. "I thought I'd have to live the rest of my life without you," she sobbed.

He tilted her head back so he could kiss her and she melted into his arms and kissed him hungrily. She'd do him in the tea room if he wanted her. "I missed you, I love you, baby, oh, God, oh God…" she started babbling incoherently before she grunted from the sudden stab in her abdomen.

"Something wrong?" he asked, looking concerned. She'd worried she'd never see that look again, the look when you love someone to distraction and worry they're hurt.

She smiled at him. "No, Jack, it's –" she took his hands in hers and placed them over her stomach. "Can you feel that?" she asked. His eyes widened at the feel of his unborn child kicking. "I swear to God it's yours. I know from the timing. But I'll give you a blood test if you want."

He knew she was telling the truth. Just the fact she was willing to take a blood test – she wasn't the type to make an offer like that without being willing to go through with it. He ran his hands along her abdomen. He knew her body well and – "You're three months pregnant," he said. "How long have you known?"

"Since you left. Jack, I wanted to tell you but I wanted you to love me for myself, not for the baby."

"It doesn't matter." Suddenly his face brightened into a massive grin. "Oh, God, we're having a baby!" He lifted her up and spun her around in joy. She had never seen him smile like that.

Suddenly the door burst open. It was Frank. "What the hell – I thought you were arguing about something." But it was obvious by the way she was in his arms and he was smiling like a child on Christmas morning that they had reconciled. "I thought you'd never get your act together, Quade."

"When can your family get down?" he asked.

She knew what was he thinking. "Next weekend?" she offered.

He turned to Frank. "We're getting married next weekend," He turned back to Gabrielle. "I don't want to wait. We've been through enough already that I feel like if we don't do it, we'll keep screwing around. I know you wanted something special but –"

"I want to be married to you," she said. "I don't care about anything else." They kissed, and forgot completely that Farnk was in the room.

"Oh, the pair of you," he said. "Go home."

This was meant to be the final chapter but I've added a short epilogue that encompasses Annie's death and Dan and Ricki's engagement - so send in your feedback or I'm withholding it :p