A/N: No, I'm not dead. This is going to sound really lame, but I guess I just lost my inspiration to write. You see, my grandmother died not too long ago and I lost interest in a lot of things, but then I decided that I had to do something and I bounced back. I'm sorry this is so short but it took so long. I still hope you enjoy it though.

Rapture Record, Day 23

Yo, it's the D-Man, representin'! Yeah, that doesn't work either, maybe I should just stick with the usual. Okay, let's try this again...

Hey, Dipper here, comin' at you live from the Mystery Shack! Well, I guess I'm not really live, but, you know, whatevs.

Okay, I'm stalling. Deep breaths, Pines, deep breaths.

I know what you're thinking: Dipper, what happened?! Mabel read your journal! What did you do?! Tell us and blah blah blah!

Well, here's what happened.

I'd been home for a couple days. I'd left the hospital with my arm in a sling and a pain in my left temple that I didn't think would ever leave. Mabel kept to herself and was almost always out of the house with Wendy. I stayed at home, either sleeping or smashing oranges with a sledge hammer with Soos.

Okay, and instead of directly talking to her about it like the man I should be, I pretended I didn't know anything. Well, that worked for a while until Mabel took me to the roof to drink soda. I was pretty nervous. Okay, really nervous, but I didn't want to say anything, just in case.

It was a nice, clear day in Gravity Falls. Friendly, fluffy clouds moved in close to the sun, but never blocked it, creating a picturesque backdrop for the pretty green trees. I probably would have enjoyed it more if my heart hadn't been threatening to beat out of my chest. Mabel sat back, nonchalantly sipping from her soda can, smiling as the birds chirped.

Today, she'd cut her hair shorter, almost a pixie cut. I could tell she didn't like it, but I did. A lot. It showed off the elegant curve of her jaw and showcased her smile in all of its uninterrupted glory. She wore a large, floppy sunhat and a pretty white sundress. Her bare feet swung back and forth off the roof. The way the sun sprinkled its light around her made it hard to look away, but I still steeled myself and looked off into the farthest point on the horizon.

"Nice day, huh, Dipper?" Mabel said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah," I said with a sigh, nodding at the glory of sight, "Pretty."

I stole a glance at her hands. Her finger nails were cut shorter and erased of all nail polish. She caught me staring, "I didn't want to have to worry about scratching you again."

"Oh."

We sat there for a while, not talking and just watching and listening to Gravity Falls slowly work its subtle magic. It was nice, but I still felt the tight ball of nervousness welling up in the pit of my stomach. I almost thought I'd imagined it when Mabel lightly tapped my arm and said my name. I looked over and said the stupidest, "Yeah?" In the history of mankind.

"Did you really mean all those things you wrote about me?" Her voice was soft and gentle and her eyes downcast and she was still as beautiful as ever. My breath caught and my heart fluttered and I knew there was no escape.

And just like that, that final wall fell and everything tumbled out with it. I told Mabel everything. How much I loved her and how I knew I was an idiot for believing we could ever work and how I'd understand if she hated me, but most of all, I told her how beautiful I thought she was. Inside and out. In the dark or in the light. Her beauty, which was something beyond impossible caught between the intangible heavens and the damned earth, sent my heart soaring to new heights and took my breath away in new, wonderful ways. And yet, her beauty wasn't only on the surface, but went down to her core. To me and everyone else, she was the embodiment of what that word truly meant.

She loved deeply and widely.

And I loved her.

I loved the way her nose crinkled when she laughed.

I loved the wideness of her smile.

I loved the way her hair fell in her face.

I loved the spring in her step.

I loved the sweet strawberry scent of her hair.

I loved the way we belted every song on the radio when we drove together.

I loved her fearlessness.

I loved her fearfulness.

I loved that she still had her lisp after all these years.

I loved that she was always there for me.

I loved that she was my older sister.

I loved her.

But I still couldn't look at her.

I found myself breathing heavily, my fist clenched against my chest, my heart beating fast. Too fast. The edges of the world blackened and I knew I couldn't hold on.

"Dipper."

And just like every other time, her voice is what brings me back to life. Her light overcame the darkness, but it was blinding. I shut my eyes tight and whisper her name, "Mabel."

"Dipper, please look at me."

She took me squarely by the shoulders and made me face her, but I couldn't meet her gaze. The shame weighed on my shoulders like the weight of the sky, and I couldn't do it.

"Dipper, please!" The desperation in her voice surprised me and I looked just in time to see a crystal tear fall ever so slowly down her cheek.

I'm an idiot. I sighed, "Oh, Mabel. I'm sorry. I just-God, I'm an idiot. I really-"

And in one fluid motion there was no longer just she and I, but us, sealed with a kiss. It should have been that simple. It should have felt right, perfect even, her and I, but something fell and shattered in my heart and I knew we couldn't go on like this.

I pulled away and there she was, her big brown eyes staring back at mine telling the same story. I'm sorry.

"This isn't going to work, is it?" I said, my voice very low and very very broken.

Mabel's eyes look everywhere but me and she shook her head the slightest bit.

"Are we going to be okay?" I needed to know there was hope.

Mabel's eyes met mine and held my gaze. There we were, connected but disconnected, apart but together. Inseparable, yet separated. My eyes ached as I looked at her, tears threatening to spill over, but I couldn't let them. Not in front of her. Not now. Not ever.

It felt like a thousand years before she nodded her head, a sad smile creeping across her lips.

And that was all I needed to carry my broken self through.

A/N: I'm afraid this is the end. I know, sad isn't it? Don't worry, Dipper and I will be fine (:

Thank you for reading and please leave a review!