The next day, Izzie didn't show up for work. When Alex got off around lunchtime, he went home to look for her. He walked into the house and up the stairs. When he arrived in the doorway to her room, he felt an ache within him. There was Izzie, lying on her bed, wrapped up in at least ten blankets despite the hot weather, and yet still shivering. He went quickly to the bedside and kneeled down. He reached out and felt her forehead. She was burning up.

"Izzie?" he said softly. She opened her eyes slightly, but didn't seem to register is presence. "Iz?"

She struggled to focus on him. "I don't feel…good," she said, her voice raw.

"I know," he said. Even in her fevered state, she could hear the worry that was evident in his voice. A smile flickered across her lips. "I'm going to get a thermometer, okay?" She nodded her head vaguely and pulled the blankets up to her chin.

Alex jogged down the hall and into the bathroom. He found a thermometer and returned to Izzie's bedside. "Alright, you know the drill," he said. "Under the tongue." After a minute or so, Alex looked at the thermometer. His chest immediately constricted in fear. Her temperature was 107. "Okay," he said. "We really need to get this fever down."

He ran into the bathroom again and got the cold water running. He then rushed back into Izzie's bedroom and scooped her up in his arms. Her arms hung loosely around his neck and her feverish head rested on his chest as he carried her down the hall into the bathroom.

"Izzie, you need to get into the tub," Alex said, but when he put her on the floor, she was so weak that she could barely stand. He wrapped his arms around her again.

"Can't. Need help," she said, leaning on him.

"Alright," he said. She pulled back slightly and he took her clothes off quickly and helped her into the tub. She immediately began to shiver as she lowered herself into the water. She looked up at him, her eyes glazed over. "So. Cold."

"I know," he said. "I know.

xxx

That afternoon in the pit, Meredith, who had been assigned to scut, was just finishing up some stitches when a teenage girl came into the ER. She looked extremely disheveled: her hair was tangled and messy, her face streaked with dirt, her clothes ripped. She got up and approached the girl, who was looking around frantically.

"Can I help you?" Meredith asked.

The girl turned to her, wide-eyed. "My baby," she said. "My baby's hurt. Please, help me."

The raw terror and franticness in the girls voice touched Meredith. She glanced around. "Where is your baby?"

"She's out…there," the girl said. She turned and ran out the door. Meredith jogged after her. The girl ran across the parking lot to a dumpster and ran behind it. Meredith followed her. When she turned the corner, she looked down and saw a baby, wrapped in dirty blankets. It wasn't making any noise. Meredith got onto her knees and put her stethoscope to the baby's chest. She detected only a faint heartbeat and the baby's chest was rising ever so slightly.

"Okay," Meredith said, carefully picking up the baby. "She's breathing." She glanced up at the girl's relieved face. "But only barely."

"Oh thank God," the girl said from behind her. Meredith didn't respond. She only jogged across the parking lot and into the ER.

"What happened?" she called over her shoulder as she approached the hospital.

"I dropped her," the girl said. Meredith glanced over her shoulder at the girl. The bluntness of her statement caught her off guard. "I'm a horrible mother." Meredith felt a pang within her chest. No, she told herself. I'll be different. I will.

Meredith ran into the ER. Bailey rushed over. "What happened?" Bailey asked, as Meredith handed the baby to her.

"The mother dropped her. I detected a faint heartbeat and shallow breath-sounds."

"Right," Bailey said, taking her into a trauma room. "Okay, let's move."

A nurse placed an oxygen mask to the baby's face. Bailey listened to the chest. "Okay, I need an MRI, we need to figure out if there is any internal bleeding."

Meredith glanced out of the trauma room window and saw the girl. She looked so young and so afraid. Suddenly, the baby's heart stopped. "I lost the pulse!" Bailey said. Meredith grabbed the paddles.

"Charge to 300! Clear!" Meredith shocked the baby. Her throat began to ache as the electricity coursed through the frail little body. She glanced up at the monitor. No change. She glanced at Bailey who was continuing compressions. "Charge to 350! Clear!" Still no change. Tears sprang to Meredith eyes. Bailey stopped compressions. Meredith put down the paddles. "Time of…." She breathed in deeply and swallowed hard. She could do this. "Time of death: 2:47." She looked up to find Bailey watching her carefully.

"You did everything you could, Dr. Grey," Bailey said.

Meredith nodded slightly, glancing down at the still body. She couldn't be here anymore. She walked quickly out of the trauma room, past the frantic mother and towards the exit. She ran outside. It had begun to rain. She walked towards a bench and sat down, folding her hands in her lap and staring out into the downpour.

xxx

Bailey found Derek at a nurse's station and approached him. He looked up at her, smiling pleasantly. "Afternoon, Dr. Bailey," he said, closing the chart he was holding.

"Dr. Shepherd, I think you need to find Meredith."

The smiled immediately vanished from his face. "Is she okay?" he asked.

He really does lover her, Bailey thought to herself. "A case came in—a baby who had been dropped by her mother. We lost the baby. Meredith didn't take it very well…"

Derek was nodding. "Thank you for telling me," he said. And then he was gone. Looking for her. He searched through all the on call rooms, waiting areas and galleries. Finally he walked outside into the rain and found her sitting on a bench. He ran over to her and kneeled in front of her. "Meredith?" he said. She looked up at him. Even though it was raining, he could tell she had been crying.

"What if I drop my baby?" she said, her voice shaking. "What if I'm a horrible mother? I can't do this. I can't do this, Derek."

His eyes filled with tears. "Meredith…" She began to cry and her whole body shook. He reached up and grabbed her hands. They were freezing.

"Derek…" she said through her sobs. He stood up and scooped her up into his arms. He could feel her shivering in his arms. She pressed her face into his chest, tears streaming down her face. He walked back into the hospital. People glanced his way, but he ignored them, walking to the nearest on call room and putting Meredith on a bed. He helped her change into dry scrubs, as did he, and she climbed onto the bed and under the covers.

"Can I hold you?" he asked. She nodded her head and he climbed onto the bed behind her, draping his arm across her stomach and pulling her against his body. "I love you."

xxx

About half an hour later, Izzie was back in her bed. Alex retrieved the thermometer again and took her temperature. To his dismay, it hadn't changed at all. "Okay," he said, taking a deep breath. "Iz?"

She looked up at him, registering him barely. "Hmmm?"

"We have to get you to a hospital." She didn't respond. She only closed her eyes. He picked her up with a blanket still wrapped around her and carried her downstairs and outside. He put her into the passenger side of his car and then got in himself and drove towards Seattle Grace.

Once they arrived he got out, went around to the passenger side and got Izzie out. He scooped her up into his arms and began to walk towards the ER. Her arms hung loosely around his neck and her head rested against his chest as he rushed across the parking lot. She could feel his slightly quickened heartbeat and it was comforting to her.

He brought her into the ER and laid her onto a bed. A nurse came over and Alex turned to her. "Page Dr. Bailey please," he said, before turning back to Izzie. "It's gonna be okay Iz," he said, reaching up and stroking her cheek softly. Even in her fevered state, she smiled at his touch.

xxx

"Hey, Derek?" Meredith said as they lay in bed together.

"Hmm?" Derek asked, leaning into her and pressing a kiss to her neck.

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

"Why?" Derek asked.

She turned in his arms so that she was facing him. "It's been, what, a week? And I've already lost it three times."

"Meredith, it's normal to be scared," Derek said gently.

"You're not. You're not scared."

"Meredith," Derek said softly, "I am. I am scared."

"You don't show it," Meredith said, casting her eyes downward.

"I'm also not having hormone surges," he said.

She laughed softly and reached up, kissing him softly. "That is true," she said as she settled against his chest and closed her eyes. "Damn hormones," she mumbled before drifting off.

xxx

"She's burning up," Bailey said as she felt Izzie's forehead. "Let's start an IV to hydrate her."

Alex nodded and inserted the IV. "You think it's just the flu?" Alex asked.

"Probably," Bailey said. "It's been going around."

Alex nodded slightly and absentmindedly reached up, brushing a few stray strands of hair off of Izzie's face. Bailey noticed this small gesture and raised eyebrows, but didn't comment.

"Keep an eye one her," Bailey said, smiling slightly.

"I will," Alex said. "I definitely will."