"What the bloody hell are you doing?"

I stopped with my hand halfway up the inside of Evey's inner thigh. On reflection, that sounds really wrong.

"Uh. . .making sure you're not carrying anything that could, you know, hurt people."

"If I was," she said flatly "I would tell you."

Somehow, I didn't doubt that. I removed my hand and opened the hidden entrance to the Shadow Gallery.

"Oh, V! Look who's here!" I called into the darkness.

"JAYLYN! TURN THE BLOODY LIGHTS BACK ON! HOW THE HELL DID YOU MANAGE TO TURN THEM OFF IN THE FIRST PLACE?" V shouted from somewhere near the kitchen.

"WON'T TILL YOU TELL ME!" Jaylyn half sang back from across the Shadow Gallery.

"What the hell?" I said into the silence.

"HE WON'T TELL ME IF HE WEARS BOXERS OR BREIFS!"

"THAT'S PRIVATE INFORMATION!"

"Well, I've always thought he was a boxers kind of guy, myself."

"OH GOD, NOT YOU TOO!"

"Come on V, tell us." I really wanted to know. Sheer morbid curiosity, I guess.

"FINE. I WEAR BOXERS."

The entire Shadow Gallery rang in a stunned silence.

"WHAT COLOR?" Jaylyn yelled, breaking the silence.

"FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"

"Hello?" Evey said tentively into the silence.

"OMG! IT'S FOUR!" Jaylyn squeed.

The lights blinked on overhead and I squeezed my eyes shut at the sudden brightness. Jaylyn skipped merrily from the Larkhill mock-up and straight to Evey.

"Four! It's wonderful to be able to talk to you for once!"

"Don't you talk to her when she's asleep, anyway?" I asked.

"Oh, hush." She waved the comment away with her hand. "That doesn't count. She can't hear me then, can you Four?"

"Um," Evey said uncertainly "why are you calling me 'four'?"

I steered her into the movie room. "It's a long story."

"No it isn't!" Jaylyn argued, following us. "E-V is how you pronounce I-V, as in four in roman numerals. See? 'S not so long."

I sighed. "But it was unnecessary. Where's V, anyway?"

"Kitchen." Jaylyn said off-handedly.

The sound of a heavy steel door slamming shut could be heard just after Jaylyn spoke.

"Correction." I said. "He's in Larkhill."

I made my way down the industrial hallway, opening every door I came to. I finally came to his old cell, and threw open the door to find V sitting in the corner, hugging his knees to his chest.

Oh, V. . . I thought as I moved toward him. He looked up at me slowly, as if dazed. I knelt down next to him and tentively reached out to rest my hand on the top of his knee.

"She came back."

"Yeah, V." I smiled wistfully "Evey came back just for you."

"No. . .you told her I was gone, didn't you?" Poor bloke seemed to be looking for any excuse to hurt himself more. "Or did she not know where she was coming?"

"V!" I chided gently. "Evey knew where she was coming and that you were here. She willingly came anyway. I think she came because of you."

He looked up hopefully from the floor. "Really?"

"Yeah. . ." Poor V. He really doesn't think anyone could care about him, let alone love him. Jaylyn and I were trying to change that, but he would have to help us if we were going to succeed. "Why don't you come out and watch a movie with us?"

V stood with cat-like grace and followed me toward the movie room. Halfway there, however, we were assaulted by Jaylyn singing.

"If you were gay
that'd be okay.
I mean 'cause', hey,
I'd like you anyway.
Because you see,
if it were me,
I would feel free
to say that I was gay
(But I'm not gay.)"

Ah, Avenue Q.

VEV

"LYNETTE! PIZZA ROLLS ARE DONE!" Jaylyn walked into the room, carrying a plate of V's worst enemy: frozen, microwave food. Dun, dun, duhhh!

"Sweet!" I said, grabbing one and popping it in my mouth.

"Eh, Vic-ter?" Jaylyn said, imitating Thomas from Smoke Signals

"Ya, Thomas?" I said, pitching my voice low for Victor.

"Guess what?"

"What?" I asked, even though I had an idea where this was going.

"JONH WAYNE'S TEETH!
Hey, yah!
JOHN WAYNE'S TEETH!
Hey, yah! Hey, yah. Hey, yah. Hey.
JONH WAYNE'S TEETH!
Hey, yah!
JOHN WAYNE'S TEETH!
Hey, yah. Hey, yah. Hey.
Are they false?
Are they real?
Are they plastic?
Are they steel?
Hey, yah. Hey, yah. Hey.
JOHN WAYNE'S TEETH. . ."

V and Evey stared at Jaylyn like she was nuts. Which, on reflection, was probably very true.

"What are you-" Jaylyn started to say, before the authoress cut her off.

"Ok, shut up now. Time to end the chapter."

"But. . .it only just started." I argued.

"Don't care. Can't think of anything to do. So. . .Ba-dada-de! Ba-dada-do! Ba-dada-de! Hello, new chappie!"