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I didn't need Damon.

I told myself that over and over, but even if I didn't need him, I was still baffled. I could not reconcile our interactions, the caring look in his eyes with the monster I knew him to be.

He hadn't killed me, for whatever that was worth, but the thought of him turned my stomach. I never liked Kelly Donovan. She spent half her time drunk, drinking and brawling with the best of them and sleeping with anyone she could seduce into her bed, car, or public bathroom. I had put her children in foster care eight years ago because of her neglect, but she had worked hard to get them back, acting like a decent mother- if only for a few months. It frustrated me, but I did not pursue it again.

No, I didn't like Kelly. But I remembered the look on her face when I told her that we had found Vicki's body. A light flickered in her eyes, went out. She had fallen to the floor weeping as I stood over her at a loss for what to say, knowing that I had failed her.

Vicki didn't have to die, it was on the whim of a vampire. A vampire I called friend and I didn't know how to deal with it. I hated Damon, but not so much as I hated myself for the small part of me that still cared about him.

I had not seen him in over a week, quite a feat in such a small town until Caroline had informed me that he had left after our… disagreement. She had been quiet about the whole thing, but I could tell that his absence bothered her.

I didn't need Damon, I told myself again. He had brought nothing but pain and death to this town and now that he was gone, I could move on and get back to protecting this town as I should have been all along.

In spite of Damon's assurance as to Caroline's feeding habits, I couldn't get his words out of my mind 'I'm a vampire, Liz,' as though it explained everything. Just a few weeks ago, I would had believed that it did explain everything before seeing the way my daughter walked on eggshells around me, yearning for my approval and acceptance. I shuddered at the thought of what I'd have to do if she crossed the line as he had.

And I had just begun to accept Damon as well, if only I hadn't seen what I saw.

Directly after his abrupt departure, I had gone back into the bar to find Samantha, the girl that he had fed on. She was happily sipping on a cranberry juice with a bandage about her neck. She had seen me looking and warned me to watch out as there was a vicious dog that had attacked her roaming around town somewhere.

I had seen the look of a survivor before, whether it was assault, rape, armed robbery, or vampire attack. They were haunted, angry, afraid, reliving the encounter over and over again. She didn't seem upset or traumatized in the slightest and I realized that whether he meant it or not, he had not only protected himself but protected this girl as well.

But he was gone and vampires were the enemy again… it was simpler this way.

But I still thought about the time before I knew what he was, when he'd appeared out of nowhere like a savior suddenly equipped to deal with the vampire crisis. He had shown be the bodies of at least three vampire's he'd killed. We were lucky if we survived putting down one.

"Where did you learn to do that?" I demanded as we hauled the graying body into the trunk of my car.

"I guess you could say I've been training for it my whole life." He said as he hoisted the body with ease. I remember being surprised at his strength… impressive, but not quite supernatural.

"I wasn't sure about you at first." I confessed. I hadn't been. A random guy shows up with a giant box of vervain and I'd never heard of him before? "I mean… Zach never talked about you."

"I'm kind of the black sheep of the family." He smiled, not looking offended in the least.

"Well, you did this town a service today. Even if the rest of the town can't know, I won't forget it."

"Thank you, Sheriff."

"Please, you can call me Liz."

I had been impressed with him, but I hadn't considered him a friend yet. I think that shift occurred when Caroline had her accident.

I didn't know the exact time when Caroline had become a vampire, but she was definitely still human when she arrived by ambulance to Mystic Memorial Hospital. Damon had met me there in my time of need.

"She'll be okay." Damon had told me in the hospital waiting room. My hand felt numb in his as he gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"You can't know that." I said, staring off into space. My heart had never hurt like this, the prospect of losing Caroline to a car accident after everything that had happened in this town was surreal and cruel.

"Liz, look at me." He implored and I managed to tear my eyes off the wall to look into his. They were blue, deep, and soulful. Concern was etched on his face. "She will pull through. Trust me, I have it on good authority. She'll be fine."

My brow wrinkled in confusion. "I don't understand. The doctors said it didn't look good- to prepare for the worst. Did they say something to you?"

He shook his head, opened his mouth as if he was going to say something else, thought better of it, and smiled ever so slightly. "Have a little faith."

Faith. God had been a big part of my life growing up, but as bodies piled up, as my husband left me, and as my daughter started to hate me, I had distanced myself from the church and from Him. "Damon… will you pray with me?" I asked hesitantly.

He looked startled, but nodded and held both my hands in his, bowing his head and closing his eyes. I closed mine and began to pray silently.

He had been there exactly when I needed him the most. With Carol dealing with her own personal tragedy, he was the only one who came for me. I wasn't a social person. Most people saw me as an authority figure, and my deputies saw me as their boss. I had been startled to realize that this young man, this young vampire hunter was perhaps the closest thing I had to a friend.

"Drinking all by yourself? Only alcoholics drink alone." I had admonished him.

He'd looked up at me with a lazy smile and raised his glass as if to toast me, swaying slightly, "Why don't you join me then?"

I snorted, "God knows I could use a drink, but I'm in uniform right now."

He'd pouted then nodded, "This town's lucky to have someone like you, watching over them."

I wonder if he'd been mocking me then. "I could say the same about you. You show up and have put yourself on the line day after day. I don't know if we could have accomplished so much without you."

"This is my home too, Liz. Got to keep it safe." He'd said the line with drunken earnestness… I couldn't doubt him. Not at the moment anyway. "So why are you working so late anyway in this quiet little town?"

"Quiet... right. Well there's been no new attacks recently if that's what you're wondering. I suppose I have you to thank for that." I smiled at him, "I could have quit hours ago, but I don't really want to go home right now."

"Caroline giving you trouble again?" He'd asked.

"Like you wouldn't believe. When she… when I almost lost her… it's horrible, but all I could think is I didn't want her to die hating me."

"She doesn't hate you, Liz." Damon sighed. "She's just a teenager. I wish when I was her age I'd had someone who loved me so much."

I looked at him curiously. Damon never really talked about his past, "What do you mean?"

He looked at me for a long moment before he began to speak. "My father and I didn't get along. We disagreed on a lot of things… He always seemed to favor Stefan and I was jealous. But after he died, I realized that we'd never get the chance to reconcile our differences. It' burned at me for a long time."

"I'm sorry. That must be difficult for you."

"I'm over it now. I guess I just think of it when I see a parent actually trying to do right by their child. You're a good person, Liz. Caroline will see that one day."

"Thank you. That means a lot to me." I felt comforted by his words and gave him a soft smile before wrinkling my nose at the smell of booze that wafted up to me,"But please, let me drive you home."

And I had driven him home, rather uneventfully. My biggest concern at the time was whether or not he'd vomit in my cruiser, not whether or not he'd kill me. He'd thanked me and promised to sober up before he went out to retrieve his car.

He had been my pillar of strength, my comfort, my friend. He was a murderer, a killer, a vile monster. As much as my irrational brain cared about him, I could not forgive him.

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