Number of words: 3,976

Published date: October 7, 2012

Began chapter: October 6, 2012

Finished chapter: October 7, 2012

Chapter 10: The Fuhrer's Son

"Selim dear, would you please stay and help me with cleaning up?"

Uh-oh, Selim thought. Mother always asked, rather than demanded, when she wanted help with something, but her tone was a little different than usual. Why was she only asking him? Why did it sound like she didn't want any of the others to help out too? It could only mean she wanted to talk to him. Alone.

Not good. Not good at all. What other difficult and awkward questions did she plan on asking? How much else had Gluttony unwittingly revealed that Selim hadn't heard before arriving to stop their conversation? How could the stupid halfwit not understand when Selim said to 'not talk about the past'? Mother didn't need to know about their past crimes, especially since (as far as he could help it) they wouldn't be committing any more of them, but he hadn't counted on Gluttony's simplicity. Or Envy's love of running his mouth off. Six years as a human child had clearly dulled his senses. For some reason, he had been hoping that gratitude at being given a second chance at life would curb Envy's tendency to speak without thinking, but in hindsight, Selim realized how deluded that hope had been. His younger brother had always been an unruly brat who ignored his older siblings' instructions as much as he could get away with. It was ridiculous that Selim had thought Envy might do as ordered simply because it was the considerate thing to do.

Meekly, Selim got up from the dining room table and began to stack plates as the others wandered off. Teacher lingered – he liked to help and actually enjoyed cleaning – but the younger Elric brother was sensitive enough to realize Ms. Bradley wanted to be alone with Selim, and so, after helping Selim to gather up some of the heavier dishes, he excused himself as well.

Without knowing what Mother wanted to talk to him about, Selim couldn't mentally prepare any responses, and he hated the anxious feeling growing in the pit of his stomach. His classmates from school – many probably so changed by age that he'd barely recognize them anymore – had sometimes complained about how awful it was to be asked a question by the teacher when they didn't know the answer. In his act, Selim had naturally agreed with them, but in truth, he had had no idea what they were talking about. The material was so dry and easy that it was a wonder any student didn't know the answers. Selim had certainly never been caught without the correct response. Even the 'pop' quizzes never tripped him up, but now, without knowing what she would ask or having any inkling of what reply he could give, Selim suspected he was finally getting a taste of that awfulness. Where he would normally have helped Mother while chatting away about the little things he planned to do later in the day, Selim dried the dishes at his mother's side in uncomfortable silence.

They were halfway through the pile when she finally spoke up.

"Selim dear, I couldn't help but notice earlier-"

Here it comes! What's she going to ask? What if I can't answer?

"-well, did something happen between you and Gluttony?"

Selim blinked in surprise. That was far from the type of question he'd been expecting.

"I know you might not want to tell me about it, but he seemed really…" She struggled to find a delicate way to phrase it. "… well, nervous. Especially once you joined us in making breakfast."

Mother paused and looked down to gauge his reaction, and his face must have confirmed that he knew what she was talking about. Frankly, Selim felt like slapping himself on the forehead. How in the world had he missed that? Of course Gluttony was nervous around him! In fact, nervous was likely an understatement; Pride had killed and eaten him. It was a wonder Gluttony hadn't fled the room without Lust there to protect him!

"And I know it's not really my place to butt in when I don't know what happened, but maybe you should talk to him. Take an old woman's advice-"

Compared to him, she could hardly be called old. Although she knew he was older than he appeared, obviously she didn't realize to what extent he out-aged her.

"-it's been my experience that it's always better to talk about hurt feelings and get them out into the open-"

Hurt feelings were hardly the whole of it!

"-rather than let them sit and get worse."

The only excuse Selim could give himself for not having considered Gluttony's reaction was that he'd never really thought about Gluttony at all. Gluttony and he were so far apart in terms of skill, intelligence, usefulness… He'd told Captain Hawkeye that it was offensive to even be put on the same level as Gluttony and he'd meant it. Even Sloth had been a better Homunculus; he'd been essential to creating the transmutation circle, whereas Gluttony's only use had been as an evidence destroyer – and even without him, they could have found other ways to dispose of incriminating evidence and meddlesome humans. They hadn't needed him.

But was it really fair to look down on him so much? Could Gluttony really be blamed for being the way he was? His sin had been an all-consuming one that forced him to be hungry at every moment of every day. He could never be satiated, never satisfied, never full. Given that, wasn't it more impressive that he had been able to control himself enough to resist eating his siblings? To listen to them and obey orders? All things considered, Gluttony could have turned out much worse. He could have been a slavering monster with no more intelligence than an animal, little different from those mannequin soldiers.

Mother had turned away from the sink and was looking down at him again, waiting for some kind of answer, and Selim quickly pulled himself out of his musing.

"You're right, Mother," he said quite sincerely. "Thank you for pointing it out. I'll speak with him later."

Satisfied with his answer, they went back to washing and drying the dishes in comfortable silence. Selim was very thankful that she hadn't asked any of the expected awkward questions, for he had his mind full just trying to figure out how he could approach Gluttony to solve this unforeseen problem.

Selim found Lust and Gluttony in the living room. Lust appeared to be taking a break from the old newspapers; she had a book open in her lap and seemed fairly engrossed in it. He was more surprised to see that Gluttony also had a book open on the floor, but when he got closer, he saw that it was one of his mother's cooking magazines and Gluttony was merely flipping through the pages to look at the pictures.

Both of them looked up when he entered the room. Now that he was paying attention to it, Selim saw that Gluttony most definitely looked uneasy. His tubby brother jumped slightly upon seeing him, shifted from his place on the floor to be a little closer to Lust, and avoided looking in Selim's direction.

Pathetic.

The thought came unbidden to his mind, and he took a second to compose himself and squash the feeling before approaching. Gluttony wasn't smart, but he also wasn't oblivious to the undercurrents of feelings around him. Part of that probably had to do with his sense of smell, which was keen enough to recognize individual scents and detect shifts in emotion. He might not know why someone was feeling a particular way, but he was pretty skilled at noticing and responding appropriately. Whether he'd be so insightful without that sharp nose of his was hard to say, but Selim felt certain that if he tried to speak to Gluttony with anything less than complete honesty, his brother would sense it and it would only make matters worse.

Pride would only make matters worse.

"What is it, Pride?" Lust asked when he just stood there.

"Selim," he corrected absently. Lust gave him a look and purposefully marked her place in the book with a finger before folding it shut.

"Do you need something, Selim?" she repeated.

He looked between the two of them again and sighed.

"I need to speak to Gluttony. Would you mind leaving us alone, Lust?"

Her eyebrows shot up at the request, but in the next instant, her lips pressed together and eyes narrowed as she glanced down at Gluttony and then back at Selim. Her expression said quite clearly that she didn't trust him.

She knows, Selim realized. She knows I killed Gluttony.

He wasn't sure how she knew – it hadn't been a part of the story he'd told them – but maybe the Elrics had told her. Or Gluttony had told her himself. Rats. I didn't realize I'd need to apologize to her too!

"I want to apologize for what I did," he said as contritely as he could. "That's all."

Lust considered him for a moment and Selim could practically read her thoughts in her eyes: Pride brought us back, so it wouldn't make sense for him to kill Gluttony again. He doesn't have any powers anymore, so he can't kill him anyway, and he certainly wouldn't hurt Gluttony while the Elrics are still here.

"You don't have to go very far," he added when she continued to hesitate.

And whether she thought it was the wisest thing to do or not, his sister nodded and rose, still, in the end, accustomed to obeying him.

Gluttony did not like that at all.

Beady eyes became panicky and he latched onto Lust's arm to stop her from leaving.

"Where are you going? Lust?" he asked beseechingly.

She leaned down to look him in the eyes and placed her free hand on his head.

"It's all right, Gluttony. Pride just wants to talk to you. I promise I won't go far. You can call if you need me, okay?"

That was not what Gluttony wanted, but where Lust was accustomed to obeying Pride, Gluttony was accustomed to obeying Lust. The only protest he made was with his eyes and by showing obvious reluctance in releasing his hold on her arm. With a brief backward glance from the living room doorway, Lust left the two of them alone.

Selim looked at Gluttony again and inwardly sighed at the task ahead of him. His brother continued to avoid his gaze and twiddled his thumbs nervously from his seat on the floor. It certainly wasn't going to be easy to assuage his fears.

Where to begin…?

Well, the first thing to do was to stop standing there. Selim pretty much matched Gluttony's height while Gluttony sat on the floor, but considering the context, Gluttony probably still felt that Pride was looming over him even if he technically wasn't. Moving closer but still keeping a few feet between them, Selim plopped himself down on the floor and adopted a simple cross-legged position.

Now what?

Selim's first impulse was to rationalize Gluttony's death. The cold and logical and arrogant side of him did not feel in the least bit guilty for what he had done. They had both been severely weakened. Without the Xingese warriors' interference, they shouldn't have had such a difficult fight. In the dark, Gluttony had the advantage with his sense of smell, and in the light, nothing stood a chance against Pride and his shadows. But with the ability to sense their presence, Gluttony lost his advantage and was repeatedly killed. It was practically guaranteed that he would die permanently and, much as he hated to admit it, Pride had had his hands full just trying to defeat Edward. It wouldn't have occurred to him, but he doubted he could have divided his attention enough to save Gluttony and stave off their attacks at the same time. So the most logical thing to do was eat him before he died for good. Pride could make far better use of a heightened sense of smell and he would gain the extra energy from Gluttony's Stone, boosting his own power rather than having it wasted on regeneration.

Individually, they couldn't win. Sacrificing Gluttony had been necessary. As Father's loyal child, Pride had done what he'd had to.

The fact that he hadn't minded killing his brother was beside the point.

But no, Selim thought. That is the whole point! Gluttony's not afraid of me just because I killed him; he's afraid because I didn't mind doing it!

His brother, simple being that he was, had been the most trusting of the Homunculi. He'd obeyed orders without question, even when they resulted in his injury or death. It was very rare for him to be given a mission without a partner; had he thought that the partner was there to look after him, rather than to make sure he did his job correctly, as was the case? To Pride's way of thinking, that was a ludicrous assumption, but it could easily have been how Gluttony saw things. To then be turned upon by his eldest brother, who he'd thought was supposed to be looking out for him, made the betrayal all the greater.

No, he couldn't rationalize this. Rationalizing would be the same as making excuses, and humans knew that murder was murder no matter why it was being committed. How could he tell Gluttony in one breath that killing him had been the right thing to do and in the next, apologize for it? It would only serve to confuse him.

Gluttony was fidgeting, Selim realized. He'd been thinking for too long. Better to just say what he had to say and not draw it out any longer.

"Gluttony, I want to apologize," Selim said in his quietest, gentlest voice. "You have every right to be afraid of me. I'm sorry that I killed you."

Gluttony finally looked up at him and met his gaze with something akin to surprise. His finger inched its way up to his mouth, as was his habit when thinking hard about something, but he didn't say anything.

"I know now that what I did was wrong," Selim continued. "I should never have turned on you. I wish I could take it back, that it had never happened."

The child at his core, the child who loved his mother and had missed his family, the child who, unburdened by arrogance, truly cared about others, surged up in Selim so quickly that he couldn't even try to stop it. Tears sprang unbidden to his eyes and his throat tightened horribly, making it hard to breathe. He hunched over, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his face in them so he didn't have to look at his brother.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Gluttony!" he cried hoarsely. "I shouldn't have- I shouldn't have- I- I-"

All he could think of was Gluttony's last moments. The fear and pain he'd inflicted without hesitation, without remorse. No, don't eat me, Pride! It hurts! Help me, Lust! How could he have done that? How could he have been such a monster? Even as enemies, the humans had been horrified, and how had he reacted? He'd practically bragged to them! Pride had believed that there was nothing and no one above him, but his actions had said that nothing was beneath him. Kimblee had been right: he was a disgrace to himself, to his namesake.

"I- I swear, I'm not that horrible monster anymore! I'm not! I'm a different person! I wouldn't- I won't- hurt- you again. I'm s- sorry. I- really- am."

He was hiccupping, and his nose was starting to run, and he was still crying, and it was so humiliating to be seen like this, but Gluttony didn't know anything about being embarrassed, and it wasn't like it was a wrong reaction to have, and-

"Pride is the one who brought me back, right?"

Selim looked up from his knees, blinking so that he could see his brother through the haze of tears. Gluttony was staring at him, waiting for a response. Blankly, the boy nodded.

"Pride brought back Envy and Greed and Sloth too?"

He nodded again.

"And Lust." It wasn't a question this time. "Was it hard to bring us back, Pride?"

"Yes," Selim said, wiping his eyes and nose with the back of his sleeve. "It wasn't just hard; it was risky. There were a lot of things that could have gone wrong. And if something had gone wrong, it could have killed me."

Gluttony sucked on his finger for a few moments and his next words were slow, as if he was being very careful to work out the logic.

"I'm alive… because you risked your life for me…? And Lust is alive too. If we're alive again, then it's okay, Pride. You're sorry. Just don't eat me again, okay?"

Huh. Looks like it is possible to cry out of joy. I wouldn't have thought it.

Selim beamed up at his younger brother through his tears. Gluttony was forgiving him. Still hiccupping, he laughed, "I promise! I won't eat you again!" then stood up and, afraid Gluttony might not want him to but wanting to nonetheless, darted forward and hugged his brother. As much as he could, anyway. Hey, it was still a hug even if he couldn't reach very far around, right?

Well, whether his hug counted didn't really matter, because the one that Gluttony returned, engulfing Selim in his thick arms and soft pudginess, definitely counted!

She could barely believe it.

Lust stood, watching unobtrusively from the hallway, as Pride proceeded to apologize to Gluttony. She watched, amazed, as he fell into a crying wreck. And she watched as Gluttony said something, and Pride answered, and Gluttony said something else, and suddenly Pride looked incredibly relieved, and the two smiled and hugged as if nothing bad had ever happened between them.

"Oh, I'm so glad to see that they've made up."

Lust turned to find that Lily had approached without her noticing. The old woman joined her in the hallway, peering into the room and smiling to see the two now happy and comfortable with each other.

"I don't know what the problem was, but at least they were able to get over it, right?" she asked.

Lust didn't reply. She certainly couldn't tell Pride's mother the true reason for Gluttony's fear; she doubted Lily would be smiling if she knew that her darling little son had killed and eaten his brother. Perhaps she wouldn't even believe it. If Lust had just watched that sickeningly touching scene without knowing anything else about the participants, she probably wouldn't have believed it either. Where was the older brother she knew? Could he really be such a good actor? Or was 'Pride' truly gone for good?

Lily must have read something in her expression, for her next words were surprisingly perceptive from what Lust knew of the woman, who had lived most of her life in happy oblivion.

"… Is he really so different from who you know?"

"Yes," Lust responded without hesitating. "I have never seen him cry before. I have never heard him apologize before. He was always calm, confident, in control."

"… And is it hard to see him this way now?"

Lust turned to look at Lily and read the unspoken question beneath her words.

If he's so different from the person his own sister knew, then what side of him did I never see? How much was he hiding from me?

Maybe it was hard to accept the changes, but Lust wasn't about to admit that to this… stranger. So Pride wanted Lily there. So he trusted her, cared about her in a disgusting parody of human emotion, but as far as Lust was concerned, she still considered Lily to be an invader in their lives. She could pretend friendliness on a superficial level, but she had no intention of revealing anything deeper to Pride's mother.

Deftly Lust redirected the question back at Lily.

"What about you? Is it hard to see him showing his other side?"

Lily looked at her blankly.

"I saw your face earlier, at breakfast. When he was reprimanding Envy," Lust clarified. "I take it you've never heard him speak in such a way before?" Wordlessly, Lily shook her head. "Do you not find it hard to hear him talk like that?"

Lily turned her gaze back to the living room, a pensive frown marring her brow. Pride and Gluttony were now both on their stomachs, flipping through the cooking magazine. It looked like Pride was explaining something, for his mouth was moving and he was pointing to something on the page, with Gluttony listening intently beside him.

"… Yes. It is hard," she said quietly. "I knew, when Edward brought Selim to me on… that day… that he was keeping some things back, things that he didn't think I should hear. I know that a lot has been kept from me, and I have no way of knowing what the truth is and what is a lie. I know that he was tricking me and I had no idea…"

Lust didn't know that Envy had asked a similar question the day before. "Then why? Why did you decide to raise him again if you knew he was just acting before?"

The smile that Lily gave was somewhat embarrassed.

"I know that he was just acting, but… I still love him. I'm still his mother, or, well, I guess I'm not really his real mother, but I've always considered myself to be his mother. And I know that even though he was tricking me, Selim loved me too. I know he did."

She kept her face blank, but inside, Lust scoffed. Could the poor woman not hear the contradiction in her own words? Pride had been tricking her, so she couldn't know that he had loved her. Any affection she felt from him could have been part of the act. She was a fool. She had to know she was a fool!

Lust knew it would upset the woman, knew it might cause problems later, knew it was cruel, but she couldn't resist pointing it out. She wanted to hear Lily's answer. She wanted to understand just what this woman was thinking, how she could reconcile that paradox in her own mind.

"It could all still be an act, you know. Maybe Selim is still tricking you, still tricking everyone, and you don't know it. How do you know it's not a trick?" she asked, voice harsher than she intended.

"I don't know," Lily replied gently. "I can't know anything for certain, but it doesn't matter. A mother doesn't just stop loving and caring about her son. I won't stop loving him even if it turns out that I'm still being lied to." Inexplicably, her voice firmed at the end. There was strength behind her words, a strength that surprised Lust coming from such a seemingly frail and light-hearted woman.

And with that answer, Lily left Lust where she was, joining the pair in the living room.

It didn't make any sense. It was foolishness on a scale that was rare even for humans. For all she knew, Lily could be aiding in her own destruction and she didn't care. She was willing to risk everything, sacrifice everything, for what? Love?

Lust couldn't understand it.

She didn't want to understand it.

But she was left with the uncomfortable feeling that, somewhere, in some tiny part of her, that foolish human belief in a thing that didn't exist didn't sound quite as pathetic to her as it once had.