Chapter 10
"AJ, what happened was a mistake and I'm sorry," Meredith stated.
"Why?" AJ asked.
"What?" she asked when she realized that he'd spoken at the same time she had.
"All I want to hear from you, Meredith, is why you did it? I know I'd been busy here at work, but was that any reason to cheat on me?"
"No it wasn't and that's not why I did it."
"Then why?" he demanded.
"I got scared," she admitted, not looking at him.
"Scared? Of what?"
"Of commitment. Please don't think it was you, AJ. This wasn't the first engagement I sabotaged."
"What are you talking about?"
"I was engaged before and did the same thing…but this is the first time that I regretted it!"
"The first time? Just how many times have you done this?"
Meredith hesitated before answering, but because she wanted to be truthful now that AJ was listening to her she said, "Four times before this."
"You cheated on all of them?"
"Yes! But this is the first time I've been sorry for what I did, AJ! When I saw your face, I knew that this time was different. I'd hurt you and I regretted it at once, but you just left before I could tell you that!"
"I was supposed to stay and the three of us would have sat down to have a chat over coffee?"
"Okay, you're right that wouldn't have been the time or place, but I've been trying to call you for a week!"
"Did you ever think I didn't want to talk to you, Meredith?"
"But, AJ, I love you!"
"You have a funny way of showing it!"
"I know it was wrong and I'm sorry! All the other times I felt relieved when my fiancés found out, but this time it's different! I want you, and I'm sorry."
"Maybe you'll think of that before you cheat on your next fiancé."
She paused a moment before speaking. She'd honestly thought that once she got to talk to AJ, she could make him understand that this time was different, that she really loved him like she hadn't all the others. But it sounded like he might not care! "You won't forgive me?"
He stood at his long window, looking out, as if he couldn't even bear to look at her. "You betrayed the trust I placed in you, Meredith. That isn't easy to forgive."
"But we could try, AJ! Please give me another chance! I love you!" She came over to him and placed her hand on his arm hoping he would turn and take her into his arms. He didn't, in fact she actually felt him flinch at her touch.
"All I wanted was a reason why you did what you did. You can go now, Meredith."
"You're not going to let me try and make this up to you?" she begged.
"No," he answered quietly, but with a finality in his voice that even Meredith could understand.
Drawing a shaky breath, she asked, "I suppose you want your ring back?"
"Not really," he replied with a shake of his head.
She paused in the middle of removing the ring as she thought about keeping it or not. Finally she slid it the rest of the way off and placed in on his desk. "It wouldn't be right to keep it," she announced and started for the door. Giving him one last chance to change his mind and stop her, Meredith said, "Good-bye, AJ."
"Good-bye, Meredith."
Striding through the bullpen with her head held high, she didn't even stop when she saw Mac's sympathetic face. She just had to get out of there before she broke down and cried. Somehow, she just knew that she'd lost the best thing that ever happened to her.
That night as AJ lay in bed listening to Dr. Huggins' show, he thought about calling in, but had talked himself out of it a couple of times before he seemed to pick up on something in her voice. She didn't exactly sound sad, it was more wistful, he thought. Her advice was still calm and thoughtful; he just sensed that there was something else going on. Then, about ten minutes from the normal end of her show, she announced that there were no more callers on the line. AJ was dialing before he gave it a second thought.
"Hello Bert from Falls Church. You got in just under the wire tonight."
"Hello, I was listening to your show and heard you say that there were no more callers…"
"So instead of letting me go home early, you decided to call?" she teased.
To be continued…