Chapter 10: No Turning Back

It was 3:00am Saturday morning before Logan and the others arrived back at the mansion, most of the students were exhausted and sleeping when they returned, a few were too traumatized to sleep and Xavier and Ororo were still up counseling them, they were having to spend extra time with Amara. Even though she had saved Spyke and both of the troopers were expected to live, she was still upset and Holmes knew exactly how she felt...he also knew the professor would probably want him to talk to her about it, he just hoped he could help...she had always seemed scared of him, even before he had told them what he had done. Remy went to find Rogue, and Scott to find Jean.

All of the X-men had been injured in the battle, but most had been released back to their own beds, Hank was still in the infirmary, watching over the RIGHT's victims and the remaining X-Men. Tabitha had been treated for a minor concussion and Hank decided to keep her in the infirmary till morning, she was sleeping as well. Sam was asleep in a chair near her bed, it was obvious he was shaken by the thought that she might have been badly hurt and he would remain with her the rest of the night. Logan looked in on them, spoke to Hank for a moment and left, Holmes was about to follow when he saw Rahne in one of the isolation beds.

"What th hell ?! I thought ya said she'd be fine ...what's wrong with her!?" Holmes asked, as loud as he could without waking the others.

"Nothing serious, Holmes...at least not for her...she had some internal injuries, I had to be sure she wouldn't start bleeding." Hank explained. "Her healing factor is taking care of it...it's just not as fast as yours and I don't want her moving around, aggravating her injuries, and slowing down the process." He said. "I gave her something to help her sleep...she'll be up and around by tomorrow afternoon." Holmes gave a sigh of relief and collapsed in the chair next to her bed.

"Holmes, I said she'll be fine, you can go get some sleep, I know you need it."

"I'm staying with her Doc."

"Oh, very well, perhaps I can treat you as well?" he said looking at the red marks on his arm and the hole in the shoulder of his uniform.

"Don't need it Doc, the vest caught most of the rounds and the ones that hit are healed up already."

"Fine, but if you're going to stay, get out of that filthy uniform...it's a major health hazard with that blood on it." Hank said as he pushed Holmes out of her room.

Holmes cleaned himself up and then sat, watching her sleep for the rest of the night. The next morning both Sam and Tabitha came to check on them before they went upstairs to eat, they asked him to come with them, but he refused to leave Rahne. It was almost 10:30am before Rahne waked, Holmes had been fighting sleep for hours and had almost given up; he had only slept two hours in the past two days.

"Hey shuga..." he said weakly, as she opened her eyes and smiled back at him

"Hey...have ye been tae bed yet? Ye look terrible."

"No, and I feel terrible...I just wanted to be sure you were ok." he muttered.

"I'll be fine...ye didnae have tae sit wit' me...but I'm glad ye did."

"I love you and I just had to know you were ok." He told her.

"I love ye too…ye know tha'." She said as she sat up and hugged him. "Mike, yui're dead tired, hungry, and ye need a shower...go on, I'll be fine, ye can comeback in a few hours, I'll be wanting yuir company then" she said, as she stroked his cheek.

Holmes went and took another shower, it took over an hour to get the lingering smell of blood off him; then he passed out on his bed for a few hours. He spent the evening with Rahne and by dinner time she was well enough to eat with the rest of the group. Hank still wanted Rahne to sleep in the infirmary one more night and Holmes stayed there with her until she was asleep. It was late when he finally emerged and most of the others were sleeping, but he didn't feel like joining them, he walked out into the hallway and stared out the window into the darkness. There was a whole world out there that hated and feared him, and everyone else in the institute, after what he had seen he wondered if Magneto might not have been right. 'No' he thought after a moment 'Magneto is just as bad as the damn RIGHT...I don't want to be anything like them.'

He was still at the window when he heard someone coming down the hall, he immediately recognized the scent. "What did ya'll decide?" he asked as Jean walked up behind him.

"About what?" she asked.

"Are ya'll gonna throw me out?"

"No!" she exclaimed. "The thought never crossed anyone's mind...believe me, I know." she reassured him.

"I understand now, why you didn't want to talk about it, but we're a family and you have to know you can trust us." she said. "Holmes, a lot of the others have had something awful happen to them too, we all help each other deal with it when it hurts too much...I know you talk to Rahne about things...but you can talk to the rest of us too..."

"Thanks Jean..." he whispered. "It's not that I didn't trust ya'll...I was afraid you'd be scared of me if you knew I could do that..."

"We'd only be scared if you enjoyed it." she told him. She stood there, talking with him a while longer before Scott walked up, she knew he and Holmes needed to come to terms over what had happened in that cellblock so she left them to settle the matter. She paused at the end of the hall and looked back at them, she was glad she hadn't gone in there with them that night, none of them had been the same after they came back out.

"Look, about last night..."

"Holmes, its ok...we were both under a lot of stress. Hell, I should apologize for hitting you." Scott said, still angry with himself for his outburst.

"I had it coming." Holmes admitted. "Listen, I said a lot of things I shouldn't have...I...I want ya to know I think yer doin a hell of a job leading th X-Men and I know how seriously ya take it. You probably worry about all of us th way I worry about Rahne and Tabby..."

"Yeah, I do...and, thanks. I'm glad you understand where I'm coming from and why I ride you guys asses the way I do."

The Next Day

After a late lunch the next day, Rahne couldn't stand to be stuck in the house anymore, she and Holmes took a walk out in the woods surrounding the institute. The others were all seeking comfort and understanding with their significant others, if they had any, and Rahne and Holmes were no exception. Holmes sat down on a large rock and Rahne sat down beside him, but he scooped her up and held her close. They sat together in silence for a while, grateful for each others company. It was very cold out and it made Rahne's injuries hurt even more, but she was so glad to be outside she didn't complain.

"Ya still hurtin?" he asked after a while.

"Aye...I wish I had yuir healing factor."

"Have to settle fer this" he said as he gave her a back rub. Rahne sighed in relief as she felt the tension leave her, after few minuets, she leaned back against his chest and snuggled into his thick leather jacket. Holmes grew strangely quite and she looked up into his eyes, they didn't seem focused on anything in particular, but he had that look he got when he saw something he didn't like.

"Th others said ye saw somethin awful in tha prison...can ye talk about it?...it might help."

"It might, but you don't need to deal with shit like that...it was horrible."

"Mike, I need tae know, I'm in this wit' ye...we cannae let such a thing happen again...I want tae know."

"Ye've shared muh pain, let me help ye carry yuir's."

He held her even closer and told her everything, about how he had heard those men talk about torturing that girl, about how badly she had been hurt by them, and about how she had reminded him a little of her. He told her about the man that they had tortured to death, and about how he had nearly gone mad and lost control at the sight of such barbarism. Finally, he told her how frustrated and angry he was that they hadn't been able to do more to help the victims; their lives had been destroyed and he almost felt guilty that he could sit there with her while they were still suffering. She sat and listened to it all and did her best to comfort him, but in the end though, all they could do was pray about it and ask God's guidance. The war with the humans had finally begun and while neither of them wished to be involved in it, they both knew their duty.

"I wish we didnae ha' tae do this...tha we could jus' be normal...together...is tha wrong?" she asked.

"No, but you're right, we have to fight fer th others."

"Promise me ye will always talk tae me when yui're hurting...its nae good tae keep terrible things like tha inside...I know" "Matt, I know its nae easy fer ye tae admit things hurt ye, but I love ye" she told him.

"I love ya too shuga, I promise I'll always come to ya when I need help, and I'll always stand by ya when you do." Holmes said quietly. "Rahne I'll never do anything to hurt ya, embarrass ya, or make ya ashamed of me, you're too important." Rahne smiled and kissed him, they both sat and held each other as they watched the snow begin to fall again; whatever was coming, they would face it together.

Xavier sat in his office deep in thought, the X-men had dealt a serious blow to the RIGHT, but they hadn't put an end to them as they had hoped. They still had no idea who was in charge, or where they were conducting their experiments. The fact that they had stolen M.R.D. weapons designs was troubling enough, but the appearance of M.R.D. itself raised more questions than answers. Hodge troubled him the most, he was one of the few humans who had a natural resistance to telepaths, Xavier knew he was lying, but he was unsure as to exactly what he was hiding. As far as Xavier was concerned M.R.D. was a threat, every bit as dangerous as the RIGHT because of their official status. There would soon be many more mutants attending the institute when the new semester started in January and Xavier was determined than none of them should have to live in fear any longer. He was already taking steps to upgrade the security system, but he knew more drastic measures were necessary. His latest decision, however, hadn't been well received by either the instructors, or the students and Piotr had even threatened to quit. Still, given the situation they were faced with, Xavier felt he needed a different perspective on the matter if the worst should happen and he hoped that despite all their differences this temporary truce might show Eric what they could accomplish if they worked together.

"Welcome home old friend..." he said as the windows swung open and Magneto floated into the room.