Dear Diary, today is September 19
Red Dawn. That's what I shall call today. The day my world ended. The day I realized how much of an idiot had been. If I had seen, and not ignored the signs… It would have happened anyway.
I want to forget it ever happened, let alone write it down. But I must, and today will never be forgotten. The reminders are everywhere and will likely make a history book or two. I want an honest depiction before he taints it.
My day once again began at dawn, with the sound of an explosion. I grab my gear, not even changing my clothes, and run down the halls of the barracks. Everyone joining me as I go. To think I went through this all in my nightclothes…
They know I would have ruined them if they were anything less than practically leaving already by the time I had gathered everyone.
Running outside the palace gates I was greeted by the sight of the bridge in pieces. The government sector had been separated from the rest of the city in a few minutes. In that moment I was relieved, grateful even. It was early, no one was on the bridge and nothing else had gone up in flames. No casualties.
An attack to force isolation then. To single out the entire government of the kingdom to one small piece of land.
No matter.
That wasn't what was important, we had to find and apprehend the attackers.
We spread out in fan formation, looking in all of the nicks and crannies, the Guard has a habit of using underground hiding places, a few men have gone to get nymph to put out the fires while a few more have guns trained on the gates.
I should have known the second I saw her standing on the steps. It took her spelling it out to me to pull my head out of my ass.
I almost caved. So close.
I almost wish I had.
She screamed my name and my head whipped to see her standing in the square under a spotlight. At the time I was terrified, I went cold. What was she doing out here?
"Go back inside," I yelled, love struck fool that I was.
She grabbed my collar, "What if this is the price?" she asked. "You can save us," she said. I had the power to take the palace without a war, the power to bring change hard and fast. "March into the palace, make your father kneel," she said just before she kissed me.
It was just like the first time, my own fire consumed me from the inside and my knees went weak.
Choose her! My mind screamed at me.
Her blood was found in the cells, she saved the Guard, she will be executed. Choose a new world. I had the army to do it.
I almost did. I came so close. I looked into her eyes and saw the woman that I wanted to save.
The woman who knew about this attack. The woman with ability to cause power outages. The woman who was a Red with strong opinions.
She was part of the Scarlet Guard, for who knows how long. My thoughts poured out of my mouth; the escape, the shooting, the bombing today…how many have you killed, Mare?
How many have you betrayed?
Maven runs out of the shadows, yelling for her run, and she shocks me away.
My men jump into the drains, shooting the terrorists as they go.
"How many starved? How many murdered? How many children taken away to die? How many, my prince" she spat the words back at me. Horrible, because they were true.
"I wish things were different". But they're not. And now never will be without bloodshed.
Mare and Maven-when and why he joined the Guard I wish I never knew-were cuffed, to be judged by the King.
The only ones allowed in the throne room are myself, the King, the Queen, Maven, Mare, and Rane.
The truth is laid bare; Maven and Mare planned the attacks, today and the ball.
"You've tainted my son!" the king shouted, if only we knew it was the other way around. She defended him, but they were both sentenced to death for treason and terrorism, and nothing I said could save him. Not that it mattered.
In the next moment Elara takes control over me and father, with Rane-no, Arven, he is not a friend-on her side, leaving us powerless along with Mare.
Julian was right, she is a monster. She did everything that my uncle and (would have been) pseudo aunt said.
The real shock came next, Maven was a better strategist and actor than I have ever given him credit for. He was working with him mother, playing all of us-even Mare-this whole time. It takes Mare a moment to catch on; to realized she had been played on all sides.
I scream for anyone, even my vindictive fiancé but the room is soundproof. A good idea at the time.
No one is coming. Enough time for Mare to think about all the ways she has been played; they let her break out the prisoners, Maven picked the targets for the Sun Shooting, they helped her dig this hole.
How Elara knew exactly what make Maven say for Mare to believe him.
Their main target becomes obvious when they turn father, they won't do anything though, Elara will make me do it-after striking me across the face as if I had insulted her by being born.
My legs move, my arms move, but I'm not the one doing it. There is a reason why whispers are feared; you can feel them inside your mind, controlling your body and there is nothing you can do about it.
Absolutely nothing, a will as strong as steel will still bow to the force.
I beg and plead and try to resist but it is futile.
I killed my own father. Removed his head my own sword.
I think my brain turned off for those seconds, I can't recall anything from just before the sword swung and I hear a scream.
I was confused when Elara screamed, but only for a moment; only some of this can be on camera (I absently think that some of the castle staff are on her side). Her crying over her husband and me covered in blood paints a horrible picture. "You killed him!" she screams.
We run, Mare dragging me at first. Sentinels follow us. My own legion train their guns on us. We can't win. Not unless they want us to.
We surrendered.
They marched us the cells down below, the highest security with no less than ten guards next to the doors.
I know I have already written today but I need to make a note of our new location. It was a few hours, in which I sat in silence with Mare, before we were put in an armored car.
To the Bowl of Bones.
That bastard! Make an example of us, will he?! Use the most barbaric execution method we have, will he?!
Elara and him have been planning this for years it seems, with me and father playing the incompetent pawns, joined by Mare. It's not enough to make me kill mu own father. Not enough to take power to a bloody throne. Not enough to paint me as a monster.
He has to kill me for sport on camera to make a point!
How did I not see this?! How did I not see Elara for what she was? Why did I not listen to my Uncle in the numerous times he warned me?!
How was I such a fool?
The only consolation is that I will not have to live with this for much longer, no one has ever survived the Bowl.
If Maven hates me as much as it now seems he does, then he may let me survive and keep me in the castle; keep my alive with Elara digging up the memory of today forever. Keeping me on the brink of death and madness for as long as he finds enjoyment in my pain…
I haven't looked at Mare since our surrender, but not because I hate her. If I look at her I will lose all control.
I have always controlled myself well, but now I have gone numb from the onslaught. There are too many emotions to comprehend, too many to process. They push themselves back.
I imagine I will pass out when the dam breaks.