Chapter 9

In which the stork arrives part 1

2 and a half months later…

"Julia?" Julia snapped to attention, gazing across the table to see Conrad Archer watching her with concern.

"Hmmm? I'm sorry Conrad, did you say something?" Conrad looked her over and sighed.

"You're a thousand miles away. What's the matter?" Julia sighed and smiled softly.

"A friend of mine went into labour this morning. I haven't heard anything as of yet and it worries me." Conrad reached across the table and took Julia's hand.

"I'm sure everything will be alright." He assured. Julia sighed.

"It's just that the first birth can be the hardest on a mother. I don't want anything to happen to her." Conrad squeezed her hand and rubbed his thumb across his knuckles soothingly.

"Everything will be fine." Julia supressed the urge to roll her eyes. She had been courting Conrad Archer for almost seven months. He wasn't perfect but he was a kind man and he was accepting of her career. One thing she realized was that he was always optimistic. A little optimism here and there could be comforting and refreshing but it often made him unrealistic which was something Julia found to be tedious. He also got jealous very easily which at first Julia found to be sweet but was now getting tiresome. And the truth was Conrad came from a rich family. He was supported through and through. And yet, unlike Julia, Conrad was quite naïve to the harsh realities of the world.

"Dear, you really have no idea how damaging having a child can be." Julia said sweetly. Or the damage of not having a child. Conrad took his hand back and furrowed his brow.

"And you do?" He challenged. Julia's mind flashed back to the horrible night and the painful days following her abortion. That one decision she made years ago which was now drastically affecting her life and her choices today. Julia shifted in her chair, straightening her posture.

"I have seen many women die from childbirth during my career." Julia retorted. She had already decided that she would not tell Conrad about her abortion or her infertility. Julia had already come to the conclusion that Conrad could not handle her secret. He would not only cut her loose but he wouldn't keep her secret. And that was something she couldn't risk. Besides, Julia was happy with Conrad. She wasn't deeply, soul fulfilled happy. But she was happy. At least, most of the time. Their relationship as of late had been less peaceful moments and more of bitter fighting. Telling Conrad her secret would push their relationship past the breaking point. And she wasn't willing to sacrifice that simply for the sake of honesty. That may have made Julia selfish but she didn't care. Conrad took her mind off William and that was enough for her.

"Perhaps you should stop by and check in on them then." Conrad offered. Julia speared the leftover pieces of salad on her plate.

"I can't just do that." Julia exclaimed. "This is an extremely personal, family matter. I can't go over just because I want to sate my curiosity." Conrad rolled his eyes and threw his napkin on his plate.

"Fine. Don't go." He huffed, crossing his arms.

"Why are you angry with me?" Julia asked.

"Because I'm trying to reassure you and you keep turning me down!"

"And I am being realistic!" Julia cried, her tone rising. She quickly shut her mouth and looked around, realizing the other couples in the restaurant were taking notice of them. She sighed loudly and placed her napkin on her own plate.

"I have to go back to work. Thank you for lunch, it was delicious." Julia finished tightly as she stood. Conrad stood as well, grabbing her elbow violently as fury flashed through his eyes. Julia instantly tried to pull away, visions of Percy and his abuse tearing through her mind. Conrad tightened his grip and Julia fought the urge to cry out and to keep her breathing under control.

"Why do you do this?" He whispered harshly. "Whenever we fight, you get defensive and then you walk away, using work as an excuse."

"It's not an excuse," Julia hissed. "My lunch break is over and so I really must be getting back. I have a job that comes with responsibilities Conrad, something you seem to know nothing about." Before Conrad could rebut that he did too know what responsibilities were-which was an argument all on its own-Julia continued. "Besides, I'm not the one who brings flowers and pathetic apologies just hours after we fight. I am not the who doesn't think about the real reasons for our fights and I am not the one who is afraid to be alone." With that she pulled her arm away, exiting the restaurant as fast as she could.

Even by the time Julia had made her way to the morgue and settled herself at her office chair she still had not gotten her nerves under control. Julia had never seen Conrad act in such a way and it scared her. He was acting just as Percy had. Try as she might Julia could not shake the fear the came with those memories. And she wasn't willing to go through that again, all the pain and suffering. She just couldn't. Julia was deep in thought, debating the future of her relationship and how Conrad would react when the door burst open. Julia let out a strangled cry at the sound, clutching one hand to her chest and the other to her mouth.

"Doctor? Are you alright?" Constable Crabtree exclaimed worriedly as he came around the corner. Julia gave a shaky sigh of relief when she realized it was only George.

"I'm perfectly fine Constable; you just gave me quite a fright when you came banging onto my morgue." George flushed with embarrassment.

"I'm terribly sorry Doctor; I was just so excited that I couldn't contain myself. I come bearing good news." Julia raised an eyebrow and George beamed.

"The Murdoch's have a baby girl!" George exclaimed. A brilliant smile lit up Julia's face.

"Oh that is wonderful! And they're both alright?" Julia asked. George paled.

"I forgot to ask…" He gasped. Julia chuckled.

"I'm sure they're both perfectly fine George. Perhaps I will stop by after work today and see how they are both doing."

Later that night, Julia made her way down the street, turning onto the Murdoch's neighbourhood. The humid summer air made Julia wish she didn't have to wear so many layers. Julia was already nervous enough as it was. She held a small stuffed rabbit in her hands, which she squeezed nervously. Julia had never been to the Murdoch residence and in that moment she couldn't tell if going to their home was inappropriate, especially considering the long and tiring day they must of day. And yet Julia knew she had to stop by. She wanted to say that the reason was to make sure Liza was alright. But the truth was that Julia only wanted to see his smile.

It was a special smile that Julia had only seen on a handful of occasions. It was a smile emanated pure joy and lit up the room. When Julia looked at that smile, she could see William's soul smiling. And it brought Julia great joy to see the smile. There were days when she longed and wished she could bring that smile to his face. But knowing she couldn't, Julia settled for catching glimpses of it when she could.

All of a sudden, Julia found herself on the Murdoch's front step. She squeezed the rabbit for luck and raised her hand to door, rapping her knuckles against the wood. She heard rustling and muted banging going on from within the house before the door swung open to reveal a very dishevelled William Murdoch. His hair poked out in every direction, his tie was gone and his overcoat and vest had been discarded.

"Julia!" He gasped. Julia smiled at his use of her first name. It never got old to her.

"William," She returned softly. "I heard that you were blessed with a little girl. I wanted to be the first to drop off a gift." She explained, motioning to the rabbit. When he just stared at her, Julia began to panic. "But if this a bad time or I'm intruding I can come back or leave this in your office or-" William chuckled and reached out, grasping her hands in his own.

"Please do come in." William motioned, tugging her into the house. The house was smaller than Julia envisioned. The dining room connected with the kitchen on her right with a small sitting room on her left. A hallway led away from the staircase and main foyer.

"You'll have to forgive Liza," William said quietly. "She's resting."

"Oh of course!" Julia sympathized. "After what she's been through, I would expect nothing less." William took her hand and silently led her to the sitting room.

"Wait here," He instructed, gently taking the rabbit offered to him before disappearing upstairs. Julia sat politely on one of the plush chairs, removing her coat and hat, taking in the room around her. A small fireplace and mantle lay against the wall surrounded by bookshelves. It seemed the sitting room also doubled as a small library. The bookshelves were full to bursting with books. Julia stood and began looking at what the shelves had to offer. One title caught her eye and she reached, pulling the small book from the shelf.

'A critical and explanatory account of the poetry of Lord George Gordon Byron and Percy Bysshe Shelley.' Julia smiled softly. She had no idea the Detective had a love for Byron and Shelley. She too shared a passion for the poets of the romantic era. Julia was about to put the book back in its place when she heard the floorboards creak. She turned and her eyes fell on William, taking in the small bundle he was holding. It squirmed in his grasp and a tiny hand peeked out of the fuzzy pink blanket.

"What are you looking at?" William inquired, nodding his head towards the book.

"Byron and Shelley." She replied turning around and placing then book back in its proper place. "I had no idea you had a love for poets of the romantic era." William shrugged slightly.

"I don't, my wife does." Julia nodded and glided gracefully across the floor.

"So this is your little girl?" Julia whispered in awe, gently pulling the blanket back to reveal the little girl. William smiled proudly and nodded. "And they're both healthy? Liza is doing alright?" Julia asked, the doctor in her surfacing.

"Yes. Although," William paused, "there was a moment when we thought we'd lost Lily here."

"Lily…" Julia said slowly, testing the name as she traced a finger along the baby's cheek. "I love it."

"It's short for Lillian." He informed. Out of the corner of her eye, Julia noticed William was watching her intently.

"Would you like to hold her?" William asked. Julia stood back, hands raised.

"Oh I don't know…" She replied, eyes wide. "I'm not really that good with children…"

"I'm sure you'll be fine." William assured. The truth was she avoided children. Especially as of late. There were times when Julia regretted her past decisions and she had discovered that if she stayed away from children, she felt no guilt. But as Liza swelled with pregnancy and William swelled with happiness, Julia felt a deeper regret than she had ever felt. William made her want a family. He seemed have a knack for making her long for the things in life she could not have. William stepped forwards, offering Lily to her. She could see he wanted her to hold Lily and Julia did not want to disappoint him. She reached forward and gingerly took the small girl into her arms. She squirmed for a moment before settling, turning her face into the crook of Julia's arm. Julia adjusted her so she could have a hand free to pull the blanket aside and truly get a good look at the little girl.

"William…" Julia breathed softly. "She's so beautiful." William puffed up his chest at the praise and smiled, stepping close. He invaded Julia's personal space, coming to stand behind her. Julia's breath caught in her throat as he reached around her and tucked the blanket around his daughter.

"See? You're a natural. She loves you." William praised. Julia flushed slightly, determined to keep her gaze off William. Lily shuffled slightly and Julia smiled down at her. She had meant what she said about the little girl; she was absolutely perfect. The baby twisted her head and looked up at Julia with sleepy blue eyes. She snuck her tiny hand around Julia's finger and squeezed. Julia felt her heart ache painfully in her chest and she suddenly remembered why she didn't interact with children.

"Have you ever thought about having children, Doctor?" William asked. Julia swallowed.

"I do not believe children are in my future." She whispered, trying to not let her emotions seep into her words.

"Oh come now," William chided, coming to stand in front of her. "Forgive me for being so bold but have you not been seeing Conrad Archer for the past seven months?" Julia nodded as she silently handed Lily back to her father. "Has nothing come from that?" Julia looked away, not wanting him to know how her relationship was crumbling rapidly. However, she forgot that he happened to be a Detective.

"Something happened." He stated grimly.

"I'd rather not discuss it Detective." She replied, keeping her tone cool. William stepped back.

"Forgive me; it was not my place to ask." He apologized. Julia waved her hand dismissively and cleared her throat.

"No need to apologize Detective. It's perfectly alright. Lord knows I've crossed the proverbial line with you more than once. But if you will excuse me, I must be getting home."

"Julia…" William sighed.

"Besides," She shrugged. "I have intruded as much as it is. I'm sure you just want to spend every moment with your wife and daughter. I wouldn't want to take away from that." With that she ducked her head and left.

"Julia!" William called from the doorway, watching as Julia rushed quickly down the street and away from the house.

The next day…

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" William asked his wife the next morning. Liza sat up in bed, nursing Lily.

"We will be fine William. I'm sure Julia is missing her forgotten hat and coat. I think we can manage while you pop out for half an hour." William placed a hand on Liza's knee.

"I won't even be gone that long. I promise." William assured softly, planting a kiss on his wife's forehead before dashing downstairs.

"Tell Julia I'm sorry I missed her!" Liza called after her husband.

William made his way down to the morgue, weaving expertly through the throng of people, determined to get to the morgue, drop off the coat and hat, try not to have an awkward conversation with Julia and go back home to his family. He reached the morgue and checked his pocket watch. It was ten thirty. Julia should be in. He dashed up the stairs, pushing his way past the large wooden doors. William marched swiftly to Julia's office, jacket and hat in hand. He slowed however when heard shouting.

"Why are you like this?!" A man's voice screamed. William cocked his head, recognition of the voice coming to his mind. Conrad Archer.

"Like what?" He heard Julia defend.

"So frustrating! Every time I make an attempt to get closer to you, you step forward only to pull away a moment later!"

"I do nothing of the sort!" William walked forward slowly coming around the corner to see Julia and Conrad arguing on the lower level of the morgue. Conrad had seemed to back Julia against her work bench.

"You do! It's as if you're afraid to get close to me. Like you're afraid to…" Conrad paused, attempting to subdue in his anger.

"Afraid to what, Conrad? Afraid to what?" Julia challenged, jutting her chin out, fire blazing in her eyes.

"Afraid to love me!" Conrad roared. William moved silently, deciding to make his presence unknown. He would just leave the jacket and hat on her desk and creep out of the morgue as quietly as he could. Conrad was breathing heavily and so was Julia. Anger still burned in Julia's and though he couldn't see Conrad's eyes, William was sure anger still lay there.

"Or," Conrad said slowly, his voice low and harsh, "Perhaps you're not afraid of loving me because you don't really love me at all." William watched as Julia took an intake of breath, an undistinguishable emotion flashing through her eyes before she let out a chuckle.

"Really Conrad? Jealously?" Conrad slammed his hand down on the morgue cot beside him.

"Dammit Julia! Don't laugh at me!" This time Julia jumped slightly and William watched as she clenched at the work bench, her knuckles turning white from the force of it. William dropped the jacket and hat carelessly on the desk and slowly moved to the doorway separating the two morgue levels. Something told him he needed to stay. He needed make sure Julia was alright; Conrad's tone worried William.

"Tell me you love me." Conrad whispered. Julia's eyes widened.

"Do you really need me to?" She asked.

"I need you to tell me you love me and no one else." He ordered, stepping forward and grabbing Julia by her upper arms. "Tell me!" He roared, shaking her. Julia reacted instantly, pushing Conrad back into the morgue cot. He let out a cry of pain and rage, grasping at the cot and heaved himself up.

"Blasted woman!" He huffed. Conrad raised his arm, preparing to backhand Julia. But William had had enough.

"Mr. Archer!" William boomed, coming down the stairs, "Surely you would not be thinking of striking Doctor Ogden?" He asked even though it wasn't really a question.

"This is no business of yours Murdoch." He sneered. Murdoch glowered.

"As a man of the law, it is." He stated firmly. "If you continue to attempt to assault Doctor Ogden, I will have no recourse but to arrest you." Archer turned away from Murdoch and William stepped around him easily, placing himself between Conrad and Julia.

"Leave. Now." William ordered. Conrad stepped backward. He looked over William's shoulder at Julia and then back to William. He took another step back and then another until he had backed away completely. Conrad moved from the morgue, a sour look covering his face. When he was sure the man had left, William sighed and visibly relaxed before turning to Julia.

She had her eyes closed and head bowed as if she was expecting a blow any moment. Her body was rigid and her lower lip trembled. Julia's hands still clutched at the work bench violently and her breath came out in shaky gasps. William slowly reacted over and placed a hand on her should, frowning when she flinched. Slowly Julia lifted her head and opened her eyes, looking sadly up at him.

"Julia…" He whispered softly. Julia moved away from him bringing a hand to her mouth as she turned away from him.

"You need to leave." She demanded quietly.

"But-"

"Leave, Detective." She tried again, this time her voice faltering.

"Why?" William questioned, knowing he was pushing it.

"I am not as strong…" Julia yelled, pausing to try and compose herself even though it was useless. "…as you think I am." She finished, tears gliding down her cheeks. "But I need to be. I am a woman in a working man's world. I can't afford to be emotional. I need the men I work with to believe that I am strong. I need you to believe that I am." She still refused to look at him and William didn't move, respecting her space. "Because if you don't…you won't look at me the same anymore. And I can't go through that. Not again." William cocked his head and his brow furrowed. He took a step forward.

"Again?" He asked quietly. "Julia…has Conrad hit you before?" Julia let out a bitter laugh. Keeping her past a secret no longer seemed to matter. No after what William just witnessed.

"I was engaged once." She stated, turning to face him. William's eyes widened. "I came home one afternoon and found him in bed with his neighbour. I told him that we were finished and he hit me." Julia waited, letting the news sink in. "He threw me against the dresser and I left. I haven't seen him since."

"Julia…" William tried. Julia gave a teary chuckle.

"But it didn't matter. I went to work and tried to pretend like everything was fine but everything had changed. As soon as people found out the engagement was off, they started looking at me differently. No one knew what had transpired between Percy and I but it didn't matter. Everyone assumed it was my fault. Looks turned to whispers, whispers to doubt. I left my post at the hospital because of it." She was shaking as she spoke, sobs escaping one after the other. William stood before her awkwardly. He could either do as she wished and walk away, pretending he'd seen nothing. Or he could comfort her. William chose the latter. He stepped forward and awkwardly put a hand on her shoulder, patting it slowly. This only made Julia cry harder. She waved at him, trying to shoo him away but William grasped tiny wrist and pulled her to him. As expected, Julia struggled, hitting his chest. William just squeezed her tighter and she gave in, clutching the lapels of his jacket as she sobbed.

"It's alright…" William whispered, soothing her just the way she had done to him when his wife miscarried.

"I thought it wouldn't affect me…but it does. In a way I never imagined. When Conrad raised his hand to me, I couldn't do anything to stop him. It was Percy all over again." Julia cried, her breath coming out in hiccups. William slowly ran a hand up her back.

"You need to leave him." William said softly after Julia's tears had dissipated. Julia stood back from him anger on her face.

"And how do propose I do that? You've seen what he's like when he's angry! And after that? Am I supposed to return to my lonely life? Coming to work, doing my job and then coming home just to repeat it all the next day? To go on with no one to love?"

"I am sure you will find someone." William assured.

"Obviously not!" She raged. "Every man I come across seems to be perfectly nice. Charming, handsome, smart. But after some time with me they become jealous, abusive, adulterous, abandoning men!" Julia cried.

"Perhaps you bring out there true nature," William conceded, "But that is not a terrible thing. It helps you to get away from them before you get hurt. And you need to get away from Conrad." Julia sighed, tears coming to her eyes.

"Oh, I know!" She moaned, wiping at her eyes. "I just don't know how."

"I could-" William began.

"No William." Julia snapped. She sighed deeply and placed a hand on William's shoulder and smiled softly. "You have done plenty for me already. Besides, you have a wife and new daughter waiting for you. I can deal with Conrad on my own."

"Are you positive?" William asked slowly. Julia nodded.

"Go on Detective. Go be with your family; I will be alright." Julia assured. William held her gaze for a long moment, searching her eyes. Finally he stepped back and headed to the stairs.

"Oh and Doctor," He called. Julia turned to look at him. "I will only ever see you as the strong woman I know you are and I will only ever look at you with admiration." Julia's expression softened but William did not wait for her to speak, instead leaving swiftly.

"You were gone for longer than a half an hour." Liza teased when William finally arrived home. "Did Doctor Ogden enchant you with some new study of hers?" William stared at his wife for a moment. After a moment, William decided Liza did not need to know what had transpired in the morgue.

"Not at all." He smiled and moved over to his wife, kissing her quickly. "Traffic was just very blocked up."