Disclaimer: I have three brothers, but I most certainly don't have legal rights to anything One Piece related.

Oneshot 10

Clumsiness.

Andrew kicked the door open, practically threw herself in, slammed the door shut and locked it, turning the key clockwise three times and sliding the chain with the bell.

She leaned against the door and exhaled a shuddering breath, all her strength deserting her as her heartbeat slowed down and the adrenaline left her.

In fact, she felt so tired that she slowly slid down the cold, wooden surface of the door and hit her butt against the ground with a slight plop.

"Great. Just great." she muttered, barely holding in an angry scream. Instead of screaming, she clenched her fist and held it front of her, looking at it intently and noting how it was shaking. With a burst of irrational anger Andrew punched the ground (well, the rug) with it. Because that's so much better than screaming.

Andrew didn't have the time to consider her lack of self-control, because she had to move.

A bell- one of those pretty big and strangely heavy metal thingies you hang around in Christmas time, decorated with a red ribbon- landed where she had been sitting, probably moved from the hook where it had been hanging by her abrupt act of violence.

Andrew gazed at it for a moment, then picked it up, stood up and hung it back on the metal hook, her hands shaking only slightly. You'd think that a woman would be more concerned with the fact that something almost fell on her head, but Andrew... today Andrew was used to it.

Her day had been filled with strangely unlucky happenstances and with miraculous escapes.

Andrew had almost fell out of her bed- only she hadn't, for her sheets had held her on the very edge of her matrace, trapped but not quite.

She had dragged herself out of her bed, somehow managing to hit her right foot (to be precise, her right foot's big toe) against her night table with enough strength to topple over the glass of water, which, of course, landed right next to her bare feet and spilled its contents on her recently cleaned rug. Miraculously, not even a drop of the liquid had managed to hit her- her fluffy rug had soaked it all up. Andrew had even managed to avoid stepping onto the rug's wet part and there hadn't been a lot of water in the glass, so it had dried up somewhat fast.

After picking up the glass and carefully stepping off the rug the woman had dealt with her morning routine- showering, making and eating breakfast, that kind of stuff.

Only today... she seemed to be awfully clumsy. She broke two plates and a tea mug- true, they were the ones she liked the least, with that mysterious vomit and mustard color-scheme, but still, they were gifts from her late grandmother.

Later, while trying to get in her pants, she tripped over and fell on her butt. Not to mention that all of her socks were dirty. Except for two different leftover socks- one was pink and flowery and the other was black with white stripes.

Only thing Andrew could be happy about was the fact that she hadn't slipped on the wet tiles in the shower. And even then, the foam had gotten in her eyes and the soap had fallen on the floor, slipping from her hands whenever she tried to reach for it.

Finally dressed and done with her morning routine, the woman had set out for her job. Andrew had climbed down the stairs carefully. From fifth to first floor she had climbed with care, holding onto the wall and had managed to keep all of her body parts from the pleasant experience of becoming more intimate with the hard vertical surface also know as floor. Okay, falling. She wanted to avoid falling. The narrator just wanted to be special and use big words for saying simple stuff.

Thrilled by her luck, she had cheerfully skipped out of the apartment building, only for her butt to become an acquaintance of another hard surface- this time she had slipped and fell on the hard concrete steps, covered with a thin layer of ice and snow.

Rest of her path Andrew had been careful- until she realised that if she didn't hurry up, she would be late for her shift. Then she ran, weaving through the crowd that had gradually appeared and muttering apologies over her shoulder.

She could see her workplace already- she just had to cross the street and she would be there. Without a second thought the woman had sped up and put more strength in her foot to use the rebound to jump over the puddle... only to slip again and have her butt meet the ground again.

It was as if her butt was fated to meet any and every hard horizontal surface.

"Hello, dear rear end of a person. Would you be so kind and come down and meet me?"

"Okay, why not? I'm always enchanted to meet new interesting personalities. And it is not like my decision alters any other persons life."

Or at least that's how she imagined it later, after getting to her workplace and zoning out as the customers went by.

Now she just stared in horror as a car sped by her with a speed she was sure was illegal, spraying the bottom of her coat with muddy wannabe snow.
Oh god Andrew had thought, petrified with shock. It could've... I could've... god...

Had she not slipped, she would've run onto the street, right in front of the car. And only devil knows what would've been left of her.

With shaky legs Andrew had stood up, shoving the thoughts of piles of limbs and puddles of red liquid from her mind. She had dully noted her dirty pants and coat and crossed the street, checking twice for any cars, her knees still feeling like a jittery mess.

The rest of her day had gone by in an autopilot.

Andrew had changed into her uniform, went to Mark (the other security guard) and started her shift. The woman chatted absentmindedly with her coworkers and took care not to stare at any customers for too long, but... her mind hadn't been there. She got jokes slower than usually, and was lucky that nobody had tried to steal anything- except at about 1 o'clock, when she had lunch, so it didn't count.

Her only relief was that she her job didn't require that she moved around a lot- had something like that been needed from her she probably would've destroyed the whole shopping center. Accidentally.

After finishing her shift Andrew had went back home- and nothing strange happened until she got back there.

Then, just as she neared her front door, a ginormous block of ice fell right in front of her.

For the second time that day Andrew stood petrified, her heart thumping loudly.

Various swearwords ran through Andy's head, occasionally escaping through her lips.

Had she hurried only a bit, the block would've hit her.

Andrew run up the stairs and practically threw herself in. Aaand that's where we met her.

When she had finally calmed down, Andrew stood up and went to her kitchen. She took a spoon, opened her freezer and took out the ice cream, deciding to resort to the thing that made her happy- comfort food. Is there a better way of improving your mood than making your taste buds and stomach ecstatic?

Andrew slunk back in her sofa lazily and took a big spoonful of the chocolately goodness that is commonly known as "ice cream".

She took a bite, and then a thought stopped her. It would be even better with something to read... ah, I'm genius!

The woman sprang up from the sofa and danced to her bookshelf, feeling energized from the tiny bite of sugar and cold.

She looked around her bookshelf and felt chagrined when couldn't find anything she could read. Everything just seemed... read recently.

It used to hold both old and new books, just waiting to be read by me. Now they all were known, all explored. Waah, I want to read something! she sighed.

Andrew looked up, scanning her bookcase for something. Her eyes stopped right at the top stood.

There stood A Book. Not just any kind of book, but The Book.

It... it... Andrews mind was completely blank. I want It... I... want to read It.

Mysteriously compelled, the woman stepped closer to the bookcase. She felt... detached disappointment when she noticed that she couldn't reach it from the ground.

Again, something pulled her control away and Andrew watched as her legs stepped onto the bookcase and her body used it as some sort of ladder to get to The Book. The case shook slightly.

One more time, the right leg up, the left hand reaches for The Book... clutches It... pulls It towards...

And suddenly, it was like a fast forward had been turned on. The Book Andrew had been clutching toppled over, Andrew tipped back and fell down with the book following her and...

Her bookcase swayed for a moment, and then it was falling down and and Andrew saw no more.

Andrew woke to somebody shaking her slowly.

"Huh?"

Wearily, she blinked her eyes open.

In front of her face was something white and black.

The woman opened her eyes wider, and her gaze cleared.

"Pandaman?"

The man nodded, then looked confused. He scratched his head.

"How I knew your name?"

He nodded again.

Andrew was confused. How do you explain to an Easter Egg off a manga that you know who he is because he is who he is?

A.N.

See, I did update on January ;)

If you are a reader of One Piece and don't know who Pandaman is... shame on you. Look it up.

Something that I promised on first chapter:

How "The Fridge" got it's name.

I really had no idea how to name it. i probably would've gone with "Various realities" or something like that, but then I was like "No"! And I was like "I wanna be original!"

I thought about it long and hard, and then I somehow figured "fridge" was a perfect fit.

First- fridge is the place where you keep stuff. I keep stuff here.

Second-Luffy eats a lot. Fridges have food in them. Draw your conclusions.

Thanks for reviewing bopricken and Vendelareader.~

31.01.13 ~ 21:10

Next time:... a man, who curses too much and has the worst luck in gambling.

On a side note: I've been busy. One word- Homestuck. And MLP. And tvtropes. And on and on. And school~