Eren was sitting in the middle of a cement floor, a bare bulb flickering above him, bathing the room in weak, sickly light. He'd thrown up blood a few times, none of it his own, and there was more of the crimson liquid spreading out underneath him, painting the concrete black. Corpses littered the ground around him, sprawled in the sort of awkward positions that only dead people can manage, limbs twisted, necks bent. Some of them were missing arms, legs, the flesh of their throats torn out. He hadn't meant to swallow so much blood, but biting out their jugulars had sprayed quite a bit into his mouth. After downing enough of the liquid it had come back up, ejected viciously from his stomach. One of the bodies was still twitching, residual electrical impulses firing through his nerves, and the Alpha in him wanted to stop it, wanted it still and dead and defeated. But he couldn't get up now. They were sleeping in his arms, his lap, and if he stirred he would wake them. Voices filtered over to him as though through static, people coming into the room from somewhere behind Eren, but he recognized them. His men. They weren't a threat, so he just ran his gore stained hands through tangled blonde hair, rocking the little forms he held reverently.
"...oh, fuck. God." Someone was retching, and Eren wondered absently if they'd swallowed too much blood, too.
"...eed to put him down...-n't come back from this. He's done f..."
"...ver my fucking dead body, you piece of shit, Eren is o..."
"...those girls away from him, he's dange..."
"...at kind of a fucking monster is he, thi..."
"...go get Captain Zacharius. Tell him we found Jaeger. Bring him he..."
Eren felt a stinging in his neck, reaching up to paw at it and finding a tranquilizer round buried in his throat. He pulled it out, looking at the empty syringe in confusion before turning towards the men behind him.
"I got them all, didn't I? Tell me no one got away. They're all dead right?" His words were slurring, the word spinning under him now, darkness swimming into his eyes.
"Yeah, Jaeger. They're all dead. Jesus fucking Christ..."
Everything went black while Eren fell to the ground, face splashing into a puddle of red as his eyes slammed shut.
Eren sat up panting, clawing at the ghost of a needle in his neck, looking around his room for blood and bodies that were not there. Were far away, years in the past, across oceans, buried underground. Fuck. The Alpha should have known better than to try to go back to sleep after Levi left, sneaking away as soon as the sun rose. Eren expected the Omega to run, but he hadn't thought it would be so soon. He'd awoken in a panic, grasping for Levi but finding his bed empty instead. Eren ran to the door, only to grope at the pain in his chest and watch as Levi was driven away, taking part of Eren with him. He'd never felt so lost in his own home, everything around him familiar yet somehow unwelcoming. The Alpha had eventually wandered back inside and just stared at his room, wondering how it was possible for it to feel so big without his tiny Omega filling it up. Levi. It had been less than two days since he'd met him, and Eren was broken without the Omega here. He'd tried to go back to sleep, clutching the pillow that Levi had slept on tight and breathing in his scent, only to be woken by a nightmare from his past.
Levi hadn't done anything wrong, was free to come and go as he pleased. Just because they had mated did not mean the Omega belonged to Eren, no matter how badly the Alpha wanted that to be true. Even if Levi had allowed Eren to bond with him, the Alpha would not have tried to control where he went, what he did. He just wanted to have his Omega close, protect him, watch over him. Bring him his meals while his muscles were still aching from Eren's abuse, make sure he was fed and warm and cared for until his body healed. He should have known better. Levi was unlike any Omega Eren had ever met, and even though the Alpha loved those volatile parts of him, it was that very independence and ferocity that made him flee.
The things he treasured about Levi pulled the Omega away from him, and the Alpha was left reeling in his wake. He fought the urge to text Levi, ask him how he was, ask if he could see him. The Omega had only just left, and if Eren tried to force himself on Levi now he would just put more distance between them. It took all of his willpower not to snatch up his phone and beg the Omega shamelessly to go out with him. Eren ate breakfast, and it took about five minutes of standing in his kitchen staring at the walls absently before he realized he would not be able to sit around today. It was Thursday, and he had a jiu-jitsu class that afternoon, which Jean would fuck up ten different ways. When he thought of the other Alpha at the dojo, a predatory smile crossed his face. Jean was forever wanting to fight, everyone, everything.
Today, Eren would be happy to oblige him.
...
Eren walked into the entryway to the dojo, where Sasha sat behind the desk. There were two parts to it, a gym that was open twenty four hours a day that had all the normal equipment, weights, treadmills, mats for stretching, benches. The other section was the actual dojo, a roped off ring in one corner, mats covering most of the floor, wide open spaces for sparring and training. There was some equipment as well, the bare minimum necessary for the various classes that were taught here. Boxing, jiu-jitsu, aikido, general mixed martial arts, among others. It was the dojo he headed for now, Sasha glancing up absently to greet him.
"Hello, welcome to Titan Dojo, how may I- Holy shit, Eren." Her nose was wrinkling, and suddenly the ground was very interesting and she couldn't meet his eyes. "I thought you were going to be gone for a week, at least. You're in rut, you can't be here." She'd answered automatically, despite the obvious signs that Eren wasn't rutting. No Alpha in rut was allowed at the dojo, even if it was just to use the gym equipment. It was too dangerous, like having a ticking time bomb walking around the facility.
"My rut is over. It passed last night." He didn't specify why, didn't have to. The only way a rut passed that quickly was if an Alpha mated, and even if someone didn't know that, one look at Eren's throat or hint of his scent and it would be obvious. Levi had left his teeth marks all over the Alpha, his scent in his skin, and even if the Omega had left he could not take those with him. Eren felt the soreness in his neck, his chest, and relished every twinge, every ache. Every hint of that delicious Omegan smell that would not wash away completely for weeks to come. They were proof that Levi had existed, wasn't some figment of his imagination. The Alpha hoped with everything in him that by the time they had faded, his Omega would be there to put them back. Sasha was looking at him with a shocked expression, eyes darting over the marks on him, mouth hanging open.
"Uh... okay. Eh, c-congratulations? Or something?" Eren had to laugh at her, couldn't stop himself.
"Sure. Thanks. But I need to talk to you, Sasha." Her brows furrowed, and she looked like she wanted to disappear under the desk.
"A-about what?"
"About running from an Alpha in rut. You know better than that shit. If you didn't work around them it would be different, wouldn't matter, but you work at a fucking dojo! Over half of our clients are Alphas! What the fuck were you thinking?" Eren's voice stayed calm and he kept his eyes averted, but he was gesturing with his hands, and she was shrinking more with every word.
"I was thinking that I was gonna die! I couldn't make it up to your door, and your stupid rut scent was so strong that I wanted to piss my fucking pants! It's not my fault! No one smells like that! I've never been so terrified! Jesus, Eren, I'm never doing you any favors when you're in rut ever again. You're a fucking monster." The Alpha's smile faltered, words from his dreams snaking through his mind. "What kind of a fucking monster is he..." He shook the dark threads of memory away, heading towards the door to the dojo.
"I'm sorry, you're right. But still, don't turn your back on an aggressive Alpha, and definitely don't run from one in rut, okay?"
Sasha just nodded, clearly not wanting to be anywhere near this Alpha who smelled of lingering rut and some unknown Omega. Eren sighed, making his way into the main room of the dojo and heading towards the locker room before anyone noticed him. The dojo was fairly empty so early in the day, only some of the trainers doing one on one sessions with their clients. All the actual classes would be held in the afternoon or evening, Eren's jiu-jitsu group included. The Alpha saw Jean out of the corner of his eye on his way to change, and he felt himself smiling in anticipation. He put on some shorts, leaving his feet bare, along with his chest. Shirts just got in the way, kept fighters from grappling well against each other, got caught on their hands or their face, besides being hot and uncomfortable. He snagged some gloves and a mouthpiece from his locker, but did not put them on yet, just set them aside. The Alpha stretched his legs, his arms, rolling his shoulders, loosening himself up. He knew as soon as he went into the main area that Jean would be harassing him, but he needed to warm up his muscles a little before he tried to do anything else. No amount of stretching was going to clear the faint twinge of strain from his body after an entire day of mating, but it would help some.
When he exited the locker room, Jean and the others were sniffing around, and Eren knew what they were scenting. Omega. The traces of it that lingered on Eren were enough to have them tilting their heads, searching out the source instinctively. Their eyes fell on the Alpha and shot wide at the sight, bruises and bite marks on his throat and chest, the scent of an Omega thick on his skin. Jean was walking towards Eren with with a smirk on his face, and for once the Alpha was glad to see it. Eren wanted to wipe it from his face today.
"Holy fuck, Jaeger. An Omega did that to you?" Eren smiled, couldn't help it. Yes, an Omega did this to me, and fuck, it was wonderful. "I'm surprised an Omega wanted anything to do with you. She must have been pretty fucking desperate if-" Jean was on the ground faster than anyone could blink, Eren's hand wrapped around his throat as he straddled his stomach, a vicious growl coming from his chest.
"You don't talk about my Omega. He's not your fucking concern." Eren seemed to come to himself and backed off, letting Jean climb to his feet and rub at his neck with a scowl on his face. The other Alpha did not bat an eye at Eren's words. 'He' not 'she'. Did not mention Eren saying the Omega was 'his' when the Alpha did not have the bonding marks on his neck or wrists. Knew better, with the feel of Eren's hands still heavy on his throat.
"You're an asshole. If you want to fight, you just need to say so. Don't jump me like that. We're at work, and it's unprofessional, you fuck." Eren smiled, wide and feral, and everyone besides Jean was taking a few steps back instinctively. It was not a happy smile, but a hungry one, and no one wanted it pointed at them.
"Let's fight, Jean. I need to break something. Might as well be you." The others nearby were shuddering, eyes darting away, not wanting to be mistaken for this Alpha's prey. Jean smiled right back, just as predatory, light dancing in his gaze.
"We'll fucking see about that."
A few minutes later they were on the mats, both wearing gloves and mouth guards, and everything in the dojo had ground to a halt as the people training there gathered around to watch. Eren almost never legitimately fought anyone, as he was always teaching, training, demonstrating. It was impossible to teach someone if you just canceled out their every strike, overcame every block, escaped every hold. He would fight Mike from time to time, or Jean, but usually not when anyone was around to watch. Eren didn't like being the center of attention, but he would make an exception today. He needed to lash out at someone, and Jean would do just fine, even if it wasn't this Alpha he was truly upset with. Eren was mad at himself for failing at some of his most basic duties. Failing to keep his Omega happy. Failing to make Levi feel like he belonged. Failing to care for him as he recovered from their mating. A failure as an Alpha. A failure as a lover.
Just a failure.
Eren would not truly be able to forget, but he could be distracted for awhile. For this Alpha, fists and pain were better than anything else.
"You fighting for a set time?" Connie was nearby, the Beta eager to see these two Alphas go at it. Eren shook his head, no, and smiled that dark smile, letting his mouth guard show. There were sharp teeth printed on it, still baring them at Jean even if they were hidden behind soft plastic. He pulled it out briefly to answer.
"We'll fight to submission." Everyone's breath caught, shocked at Eren's words, and Jean was growling. When two Alphas fought, they did not use the word 'submission' to refer to a fighter giving up, whether it was due to a choke hold, or a joint lock, or just being unable to defend themselves adequately. They called it yielding, or tapping out. Not 'submission'. It was taboo among Alphas who fought recreationally, and by telling Jean he would submit Eren was challenging him in new ways. A few of the spectators moved back, giving the Alphas more space without thinking. Connie stuttered over his words for a moment before gathering himself and raising his hands.
"You guys both ready?" There was no spoken answer, just Jean's growl increasing in volume and a nod of Eren's head, accompanied by a smirk he managed to pull off, even around his mouth piece. "Okay guys. Ready? Fight!" He clapped his hands on the last word before backing away. In a formal match there would be bells or a referee on the mats with them, but this was anything but formal.
The Alphas began circling, watching each other's footwork carefully. Eren taught jiu-jitsu, and he normally relied on it fairly heavily in his fights. It was an art of control, and fighters could practice at full strength and still usually be able to do the same thing again day after day. The Alpha could defeat his opponents without causing any real harm once he got them in a chokehold or other submission technique. Winning without hurting someone appealed to Eren, which was one of the reasons he liked the sport so much, and as such he would usually try to take his opponent down to the ground as early as possible in a fight. From there he could manipulate his enemy's position until he could get his arms around their throat, or pull their arms or legs into a lock. Then it was either pass out from lack of air, allow your joints to be dislocated, or submit, and in the dojo there was no shame in tapping out.
Winning without hurting someone was not what Eren needed today.
Even Jean was surprised when Eren's fist shot out, and he was barely able to dodge it before another was flying up from the other side. It glanced the side of his face, not really impacting but knocking his head back nonetheless. Jean struck with a fist of his own, trying to land it in the other Alpha's gut while his arms were still extended, only to catch a knee in his own. Air shot out of him in a rush, and then the fight was a blur of punches and kicks, each Alpha ducking and dodging and evading. Jean was careful of his feet, not wanting Eren to snatch one up and toss him on his back. The two-toned Alpha had caught a few of those strikes to his face, and there was a trickle of blood leaking from a cut on his cheek. Eren realized that they could both beat each other ragged and still not finish this fight, and Mike would have his ass if he let Jean bleed all over the mats. He'd worked off enough of his restless rage.
The Alpha waited for Jean to throw his next punch and he ducked underneath the strike, jumping at the other Alpha and wrapping his legs around Jean's waist. Once he hooked his feet together behind the two-toned Alpha's hips, he pulled them both to the ground, laying on the mat on his back. Jean was struggling to escape Eren's legs, trying to pull out of them, but it was too late. The Alpha had his arm under Jeans neck, tilting his head forward, pressing into his trachea and cutting off his air. Eren arched his spine, putting more pressure into the choke, pulling with his legs while Jean struggled to slip out of it to no avail. He was done, the fight was done, but he still had to tap out. To submit, and it rankled after Eren had taunted him earlier. Eren whispered to him, too low for anyone else to hear.
"Submit, Jean." Jean growled in answer, renewing his struggles, but it was useless. "C'mon, horseface. Submit." Eren knew he was an asshole, knew he was taking his anger at himself out on Jean, and even as he did it he couldn't stop. Felt guilty. Couldn't pull back. Needed to hear the words, feel the tap, accept the yield.
Needed victory in this, after suffering defeat at the hands of the most perfect Omega that had ever existed.
It was only as those thoughts went through his mind that he realized he had not wanted to fight Jean to take out his anger on someone. He'd needed to triumph over something, to regain his confidence in some small way. But this was meaningless. Empty.
Forcing Jean to submit to him would not bring his Omega back to him. All it was doing was alienating one of his friends, even if they spent most of their time arguing. He was just about to release the hold when he felt Jean's hand tapping on his bicep, and he let the Alpha go with shame washing over him. Connie sounded out his victory to those watching, who cheered for the Alpha.
"Win for Jaeger, submission due to a guillotine choke from full guard by a bottom fighter. Take notes, my friends." Everyone started to disperse as Eren climbed to his feet, and he called out to Jean.
"Hey, Kirstein." Jean turned around as he was pulling out his mouth piece, taking off his gloves. He glared at Eren, no one but him aware of why he was so furious. They probably thought Jean was angry to have lost, but he'd lost time and time again to Eren. Had never won. Not once. But hearing another Alpha whisper in your ear, submit, in front of a crowd of your peers no less, had Jean riled and hostile. It was disrespect at its most basic level for Alphas, and if did not know he would just lose again, Jean would be striking out at Eren with his fists even now.
"What do you want? You get laid and you turn into a fucking asshole. Fuck off, Jaeger." He was right, and Eren hated him for it, but he still wanted to apologize.
"Listen man, I'm sorry. That was my bad. I shouldn't-" Jean cut him off, voice full of rancor.
"Fuck you, Eren."
The Alpha walked away and all Eren could do was watch. Yet another person leaving him behind with words unsaid in his mouth.
...
Eren's class had been a disaster, all the students unable to get anywhere near the Alpha with the smell of an Omega so heavy on him, instincts telling them to run. Finally Mike had stepped in and sent Eren home, telling the Alpha to stay there until his scent didn't make everyone want to flee the fucking dojo. The Alpha knew his boss would want to talk to him about his Omega at some point, could see the curiosity in his eyes at all those bites, yet no bonding marks, but Mike wisely stayed silent about it. When Eren walked into his empty house, he wanted to scream, lash out at something, break everything within those walls.
All because Levi wasn't there.
After standing in the entryway fuming at himself, he tore off his shirt and went into his guest room, which had training equipment in it instead of a bed. Weights, a treadmill, a mat for stretching. He turned on the treadmill and started running.
Eren ran until his breathing was ragged and sharp. Until his lungs were full of acid. Until he could hear the blood rushing in his ears.
He ran until sweat soaked through his clothes. Until his thighs were trembling under the strain. Until the soles of his feet were hot and aching. Running, running, running, and going nowhere. It was the story of Eren's entire life, and yet there was nothing else to do. The Alpha was useless, and helpless, a failure all around.
So Eren ran some more.