A Parental Guide

By Miss Willow

A.k.a

xXxFluffy-Pink-Socks

A/N: I got a fair few reviews for the last chapter (thank you!) and I now have 98 reviews! (I know I can't believe it either!) C'mon on people! Make it 100! The 99th and 100th reviewers… and anyone else after that (lol) will be the owners of my life! I know there are people who are reading this story and not reviewing and I just want to say PLEASE do review because without your reviews I can sometimes lack the drive or inspiration to write the next chapter of this story, so it really is important that you do. Thanks guys.

-x-

"Miss Willow," Professor McGonagall greeted coldly, as my cheeks burned with the shame I was feeling.

"H-h-hello Professor," I stammered, trying my hardest to ignore the sound of Sirius' laughter in my ears… naturally, I was failing miserably. I didn't know what to do with myself; apologise, act like nothing was happening, sit down next to Sirius… I doubted I could even manage the latter, considering that I couldn't bear to look him in the eye.

"Sit." I sank into the chair next to Sirius, whose laughter was beginning to subside, though from the sneak glance I'd taken he was wiping away tears. That bastard. "From the state of undress of both of you-"

"Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" I blurted out, looking over at Sirius accusingly. I'd only just noticed that his rather muscular chest was in fact on view… what? I can hate a guy and admire his perfectly chiselled chest too! He raised an eyebrow at me. "It was a rhetorical question."

"Rhetorical or not, I believe I should be asking the questions here!" McGonagall said, nostrils flared. "You have broken two of the project rules tonight-"

"One actually, Professor," Sirius corrected and I had a feeling he was acting like a smart arse on purpose.

"- I can count, thank you Mr. Black, and there are 2 rules that have been broken. First, you spend more than an hour away from each other's company and then you arrive in such a state of undress that I cannot do anything but assume that you were in the middle of sexual-"

"What?" I interrupted, "I am NOT responsible for his lack of clothing!"

"Exactly, Professor, I undressed myself; Rosa was already in the shower," Sirius said, smirking, draping his arm over the back of my chair.

"No, no," I tried to explain, shaking my head frantically. Oh my god, WHY was Sirius doing this?! It wasn't that I was particularly bothered about McGonagall writing to my parents (Dad was hardly someone to be scared of and Mum would be congratulating me) but I did not want teachers thinking that I was some sort-of scarlet woman. "I haven't seen Sirius since-"

"We had a wild romp in the shower…"

"Precisely," I nodded. Then realised what he'd said. "No! We didn't- I wouldn't- I'm only 17!"

"Then why are you only wearing a towel?" Professor McGonagall demanded to know.

"WHY is it such a crime to be wearing a towel in my own dormitory?" I scoffed, forgetting who I was talking to, "Would you prefer that I wasn't wearing one instead?"

"Hell yeah!"

"Mr. Black! Such blatant disregard for the respect of teachers will not be tolerated by myself nor any other Hogwarts professor." McGonagall declared angrily.

"But-" I persisted,

"No."

"I-"

"No."

"Why-"

"No."

"Prof-"

"No."

"You-"

"No."

"I-"

"No."

"Sirius-"

"No."

"Pl-"

"Erm, maybe you should just stop talking," Sirius suggested unhelpfully, his arm still lying annoyingly on the back of my chair.

"Maybe you should be trying to get us out of this mess!" I retorted, my eyes anywhere but on his chest.

"Me? I'm not the one in a towel!"

"No, you're the one topless!"

"Been looking have you?"

"No," I said, lying through my teeth.

"ENOUGH!" McGonagall shouted, making me jump; I had to grab Sirius' arm to stop myself from toppling backwards over my chair. I'm sure it's not normal for someone to be so jumpy… maybe I should go to the hospital wing after all this… hey, if I waited until tomorrow morning, I could miss Potions… good thinking, Rosa, good thinking… "MISS WILLOW!" I jumped again,

"Yes?"

"Are you listening to me at all?"

"… Yes."

"What was I just saying?"

"You know, funny story… I was sitting here, minding my own business, hanging onto every word you said so that I could use your priceless advice in later life, when a hippogriff flew by the window and… erm… offered me a… rainbow coloured doughnut… at a very erm… cheap… price…" I faltered; there was no way that McGonagall was going to believe that a hippogriff would be flying around Hogwarts!

"You mean you weren't listening?"

"No, no! I was but then the hippogriff came…" I stopped and bit my lip, "… a-and I wasn't listening."

"I thought so," McGonagall sighed heavily. She was massaging her temple in the way that teachers do when they're wondering why on earth they ever chose to take their particular career path. She didn't seem to know what to do with us; can't say I would have known either in her shoes. She looked up at us and surveyed us with an intimidating look… well, it intimidated me, anyway, "Give me your hands."

"Erm, Professor, harming students is against the law," Sirius said, smirking, and I closed my eyes, unable to believe how much of an idiot he truly was; it was like he wanted us to get detention!

"Give. Me. Your. Hands." I looked anxiously over at Sirius, whose cool exterior seemed to be wearing off fast. Hesitantly, I placed my hand, palm way up, on the wooden desk. It took Sirius a little longer but he eventually put his hand down too. "Cojoinmanus!"

I jerked my head away; my eyes squeezed shut and flinching. Whoever said I was over-dramatic? I waited… and waited… and nothing happened. I opened my eyes a fraction. That was weird; no head-splitting pain…

"Phew, that was a close one," Sirius let out a shuddering breath and his cocky smile returned. Unfortunately.

"OH SWEET GODRIC!" I shrieked, completely missing what Sirius had just said, my eyes beginning to widen with fear.

"What?"

"Look! Look at our hands!" Sirius gave me a puzzled look, before glancing down at the table.

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

"MR. BLACK!"

"What have you done to us?!" Sirius asked in horror, staring at our linked hands with disbelief.

"It's only temporary," McGonagall stated lightly, getting to her feet and sweeping the papers off her desk and into her arms. She walked over to the filing cabinet and began to sort them into their appropriate drawers… she was doing all this so calmly, yes, CALMLY… you see the thing you have to bear in mind here is that I had just had my hand magically bound to the hand of one of the people I disliked most in this world by a professor, who thought I had just had sex with said hated person. Hmm, so you can probably imagine how I was feeling at that moment in time.

"What? You're joking, right?" I said, a shrill laugh some how managing to escape my lips.

"Why on earth would I be joking, Miss Willow?"

"Because you have to be!" I exclaimed, the desperation beginning to kick in, "You CAN'T leave me stuck to him!"

"It's only for 24 hours and I believe that it is the appropriate punishment when it comes to this particular rule breaking," McGonagall replied. There was a definite threat in her voice.

"Appropriate punishment?" Sirius joined in, moving his chair closer to mine, "This is ridiculous!"

"Thank you!" I agreed.

"I've heard all I have to hear. Detention to both of you." McGonagall declared.

"Does this mean you'll unlink our hands?" Sirius asked hopefully.

"NO!" Wow, I'd never seen a teacher looking so pissed before.

"It was worth a try," I muttered to Sirius out of the corner of my mouth.

"You will both be serving your detention tonight in the astronomy tower. It is now 7:30pm, so I expect you to have all four walls and the floor sparkling clean by 8:30pm."

"You want us to clean the entire astronomy tower in an hour?!?!"

"Without magic." When McGonagall pointed out this very, very big problem., I almost fainted.

"We're doomed!" I wailed in despair.

"It could be worse," said Sirius.

"HOW?" I exclaimed, "HOW exactly could it be worse? You're not the one who has to parade around school in a towel!"

"True but those are the consequences you must pay for your glorious shag…" Sirius shook his head in mock disappointment.

"I did not shag you! I didn't shag anyone but if I was going to shag someone it would certainly not be you!" I shouted, glaring at Sirius, all traces of humour that I may have been feeling about the whole towel situation long gone. I was sick of being blamed for things that weren't my fault; no, in fact, I was sick of being blamed for things that were Sirius Black's fault. I was not going to put up with it any longer… as soon as this detention was over and done with, the sooner I could decide the best way to get my revenge.

-x-

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