A/N: Dear people who have ever clicked to this fiction. This is the end. There yet will be an epilogue, but nothing more. I don't think so at least. I don't want to drag it. I want you all to be happy about the ending, about the entire story you've been reading. So this is it. I thank you all for reading, for reviewing, for following and favoriting. It was wonderful to enjoy your love. It was worth it to write this story and it was probably my most favorite Kames fiction I have ever written. If you didn't realize it, I tell you now. The meaning of this fiction is to learn that we cannot go anywhere in life without having a talk about our feelings. Talk always helps. Believe in the power of talk, and help yourself with freeing your thoughts, help yourself as Kendall and James had helped each other through this story...

thank you..

Chapter 10

"I didn't realize you were having such problems with Kendall." Logan tried to comfort James after another fight he had with his fiancé, the third fight over one weekend to be exact.
"Things just ... don't fit." James whispered, his tears fell without a stop since he fell in his friends' front door.
Carlos stepped in to the living room with a glass of water and tissues. "Here you go." He tossed both to his friend and lowered next to him giving a questioning look to Logan but he only shrugged.
"Guys, I'm sorry .. " James blew his nose then spoke again, "to interrupt you in your house, but I didn't know where to go and I didn't want to stay with him. He is leaving for that damned tour tomorrow, but I couldn't take it anymore. Whatever we talked about it always ended up as a fight, small or big, but we couldn't settle for good."
"No worries, James." Carlos patted his back. "You better come here than anywhere else and you never interrupt. But don't you worry that now that you are here Kendall might need someone to talk to as well, but he has no one to go to?"
"Am I very bad if I don't give a fuck what he needs?" James asked letting his gaze rest on Logan first than on Carlos.
His friends shook their heads. "Of course you're not bad." Logan said. "But you know it's not easy for him either. He asked you what you want him to do, right?"
James nodded.
"You said you want him to go."
A nod again was the reaction from James.
"You always tell him to go." Carlos continued understanding the trail Logan picked up. "He might feel like you don't even want him to stay that bad if you just tell him to chase his dreams and leave you behind no matter what."
"Doesn't he see how much it all hurts me?" A sob escaped from James as he asked Carlos.
"He does, but ... he doesn't know what to do with it. You know that however it was always him the boss and the wise and the clear thinking one out of the four of us, he is so stupid sometimes like we all three are together. He may believe that with you doing all this self destroying shit just want to push him away because you don't believe he would stay if you asked, or I really don't know. Have you asked him to stay? Once?"
James shook his head as no.
"See?" Logan talked again. "You need to tell him you want him to stay."
"It doesn't matter now." James nearly choked on the words.
"Why?"
"Carlos, he is leaving tomorrow morning. He can't let his fans down. He promised he would do it, he has a contract and all... so many people depend on him. If I were him I wouldn't cut it either, now, in the last moment, it's pure stupidity. Rude. The whole world would hate him. I can't let this happen."
"You already stopped with singing, right? No more songs, no more shows." Logan asked, a plan formed in his mind.
"Yes." James answered wiping his tears from his eyes knowing that look on Logan's face.
"Go on tour with him. Then you'll tell him you don't ever want him to leave you and it all will work out." Carlos finished again for Logan. They smiled at each other, they loved the way they could think together, like they were one.
"You guys are too cute with this." James let a short smile take over his face.
"I know, right?" Carlos giggled and Logan reached out to squeeze his boyfriend's hand.

Kendall sat in his bed wide awake at three in the morning. He wasn't able to close his eyes and think about sleeping at all when he didn't know where James was. He hadn't heard about him for about five hours when he walked out the door after they fought. He knew he probably would be at Carlos and Logan's but he wasn't sure and even if he was there and safe, the situation worried him.
Just when things started to fall into their place James decided to throw eveything away and with that make life hard for both of them. It wasn't for money, for fame anymore, it was something else. Something else that Kendall feared he wouldn't be able to give James. He knew for sure he wouldn't be able to give it. Family. Happy family. Kids, and all the things that came with that. How on earth he could do that?
There was that weird feeling in his stomach the whole time since James came up with the settling down thing. It was the same that appeared to cause Kendall problems when he was discovering his sexuality and realized he was more for guys than girls. He felt like it was all wrong and even though he loved James more than his life it saddened him that he wasn't a damned girl to give him kids. Because it was the thing that James wanted. Kendall felt gross and bad for not being able for such.
He couldn't fix his feelings, it made him sick.
And then, there was the other thing.
If James wanted this family with him, so bad with him, then why on earth he didn't ask him to stay? He is probably hoping I never come back now that he wants family and he can find himself a nice girl who can give him children. But then why did he leave crying again?
"AAAAAAAAh." Kendall slid down on the bed looking at the other empty half. "James, please. Come back. We need to fix this."

Somehow, a bit or a lot later, Kendall didn't remember, he fell asleep and the next thing he sensed was the warm sun caressing his face.
No. It wasn't sun.
It was a soft hand. He tried hard to take in a long breath and let the so loved scent wander through his entire body. "James." He whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm just so confused."
"I understand. I try to." James chuckled. He didn't know what he was doing. He spent the night in Carlos and Logan's house and when they brought him back home to Kendall he was told to do as his heart says. This was the thing he heard from he didn't know where, but he believed it was his heart speaking. "I love you Kendall. And I'm upset because of all the confustion we've caused to each other over the years. Me, with wanting fame and money and what not, and then suddenly realizing that it isn't worth a thing if you're not with me and we can't settle down to raise a family. You with wanting to play hockey, then telling me that you didn't want it at all you just didn't want to keep from my dream of being on the stage till I am able to sing. Then letting me love you, then working with me, then making your music again and then now never wanting to stop with it, just always desiring to go and be on the road. I don't understand the whole thing and how we've come so far."
Kendall turned to face James. He then saw that James was crying. "You're crying." James said. Kendall lifted his hand and indeed his face was wet as well from tears of ... from tears of pure love, nothing else was behind them.
"You, too." Kendall brushed his thumb on James' cheek.
"Why is this happening?" The blonde asked after a few minutes of doing nothing but leaning their foreheads against one another's and crying softly.
"This is life. Difficulties. Tests."
"Life. We have a life together." Kendall sighed.
"We do." James opened his eyes.
"I asked you to spend your life with me."
"You did." James smiled at the memory.
Kendall's hand ran to tug on James hair. "I don't want you to walk out of my life like you did the last night. I want you to be with me. I am always afraid of you getting bored and wanting to leave. I didn't expect you to say that you want to settle down and have family. That was the last thing I expected. I always fear that you once just go and chase those crazy dreams of yours."
"Look who's talking." James laughed quietly. He leaned down again and Eskimo kissed Kendall. "I am always afraid of the same thing. Mainly lately when you ... you're in it again ... you'd just leave one day to live your dream ... "
"You're my dream."
"And you're mine."
"What are we doing then?" Kendall's voice was tiny, James noticed how hard it was for him to fight with the tears again.
"I don't know. What are you doing?" His finger wiped up the water leaving Kendall's eyes.
"I know it is stupid ... but I never realized what living with me would mean to you."
"I don't understand you."
"You want family. How would we do that?"
"We'd figure it all out."
"Surely."
"Hey." James didn't like the sarcastic tone. "I know we could do it."
"Is this really what you want, James?"
"It is. But first of all. I want you. And for that reason, I'm going on tour with you and we will sort the rest out on the way. It's gonna be a long way after all."
Kendall smiled. "Logan's hand is in it."
"Yeah, yeah, and so is Carlos'." He laughed. "We have the best friends on this planet."
"Yes we do." Kendall pulled James close, he squeezed him tigth, he could hardly believe they talked without any of them raising their voice.
"We'll do this. I know we will. I will help you, you will help me, and our friends will help us in between if we lose track." James said before kissing Kendall so deep and long as they hadn't kissed in a while.