Chapter 10

"What's up, Maur?" Jane asked, entering Maura's home office after coming home from work after a long day.

Maura looked up at Jane with a happy sparkle in her eyes, standing up from her chair to walk around her desk and lean against the edge of it. "I j-... wait." She stood up and reached out her arms to her wife, cupping her face to press a kiss to her lips. "Hi."

Jane smiled, leaning in for a second, deeper kiss. "Hi."

"I just received a call from the research facility center at the fertility hospital we've been," Maura started, sitting back down on the edge of the desk. "They've been busy with new research and found a new technique." Maura's eyes sparkled and her lips curled up into a happy smile. "They can help us get pregnant."

"Wh-…" Jane furrowed her brow and sat down on the couch in Maura's office. "How do you know? How do they know it will work?"

"Because they found a solution to the things that went wrong all the times before. They can use your egg and fertilize it before implantation, but with a different technique. It's quite complicated, but it's likely to work."

Jane sighed. "Maur… We have Anna… We… Do you want to do this?"

Maura looked at her wife for a while before answering. "Yes, I think I do."

"Don't you think Anna is kind of enough?" she asked hesitatingly. "I mean… She's not really a handful like I expected but it's overwhelming enough as it is. I don't want to give her the feeling she's not enough, y'know?"

"I'm not saying I want to do it right now," Maura stated softly. "But… I'd really like a baby of our own."

"Our own?" Jane furrowed her brow and felt anger bubbling in her stomach. "Anna is our own. We adopted her, she's our daughter. You said so yourself!"

"Jane, I didn't mean-…"

"What are you saying?" Jane stood up and ran a hand through her hair. "Anna's not enough for you? You want to go through that excruciating process again just to have a biological child?"

"Please don't get mad," Maura said softly, lowering her eyes as she fumbled with her blouse. "Of course Anna is enough. I love that little girl with all I have. Just imagine how much we would love a second child!"

"I've only been a mother for a few months, Maur! Slow down, will ya?" Jane was pacing through the office, feeling like life was grabbing her by her throat.

"I'm not saying we should try today!"

"I'm not saying I want to try ever!" Jane snapped at her wife and immediately regretted her tone. Tears appeared in hazel eyes as Maura looked at the angry detective. Jane gently approached her wife and took one of her hands in hers. "What if it doesn't work, Maura? I don't want to go through that again. I'm so happy with Anna. So, so happy." Jane sighed deeply and closed her eyes. "I don't need a biological kid."

"It's not about what I need," Maura whispered, looking up at her wife with tears in her eyes. "I just-…" she sighed and wiped her cheek where a tear trickled down. "I imagined a child with unruly curls, just like yours. And dark eyes like yours and your energy and fierceness, and I imagined teaching him or her to love books and science and… That thought made me so happy." She took both of Jane's hands and squeezed gently. "A sibling for Anna. She would be a big sister, taking care of her little brother or sister."

Jane sighed deeply. "I don't know, Maura. I don't want her to feel inferior. Like she's less than our biological kid."

"We won't love her any less."

"But there's like… studies that prove a connection with a baby if a woman carries it and stuff…"

Maura nodded. "That's true. But… Before we got Anna, could you ever imagine loving a child as much as you love her right now?"

Jane shook her head. She could never have imagined.

"You're her mother. It doesn't matter if you carried her or not. It will be the same for a child we did carry."

"Can we park this for a while?" Jane whispered, looking down at their intertwined hands. "Talk about it later so I can process and stuff?"

Maura nodded. "Of course." She stood up and pressed her lips against her wife's for a loving kiss.

"I'm sorry." Jane averted her gaze and rested her forehead against Maura's. "I'm sorry if I hurt you."

Maura closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around Jane's neck. "It's okay."

"No." Jane shook her head. "It's not okay. I reacted stupid."

"You just need time. I shouldn't have dumped this on you like that." Maura untangled one arm from around Jane's neck and cupped her cheek, gently brushing her thumb across her jaw. "There's time. Just… Keep an open mind? Think about it?"

Jane nodded. "I will."

Just when Maura leaned in for another kiss, they heard a door opening upstairs. "Anna's not sleeping yet?" Jane asked, looking at her newly bought watch to see it was pretty late for Anna to be up.

"She was." Maura furrowed her brow and pecked Jane's lips before walking out of her office to see why Anna was up.

The little girl stood at the top of the stairs in her pajamas. "Hi, baby." Jane smiled and walked upstairs. "Why are you up? Couldn't you sleep?"

Anna shook her head. "My belly's hurt."

Maura, immediately alarmed, walked up the stairs and kneeled in front of Anna. "Where does it hurt?"

Anna shrugged. "All of the belly."

Maura placed her hand on Anna's forehead and furrowed her brow before pressing her lips against the girl's head. "You feel warm, honey."

Anna was about to reply but her cheeks suddenly turned paler than the white wall behind her and before the women could do anything, she threw up, emptying her stomach over the floor and partly over Maura.

"Oh, God." Maura placed her hand on Anna's back, waiting until she finished and collapsed in her mother's arms, crying loudly.

"M-mommy…" Anna cried, rubbing her eyes with both her hands as she shook in Maura's arms.

"I know, honey. I know." Maura wrapped her arms tightly around the little girl before looking up at Jane with shimmering eyes. "Can you get a warm shower running?" she whispered.

Jane nodded, swallowing her tears at the sight of her daughter in such discomfort. She hurried towards the bathroom and started the shower, adjusting it to a comfortable temperature. She hurried back and helped Maura and Anna up from the floor, taking the girl from her wife to take her pajama pants off that were partly covered in vomit. She fought back the urge to gag as she threw the pants in the bathtub, along with her sweaty shirt. She looked up to see Maura taking off her ruined skirt and throwing it with Anna's stained pajamas before taking off her blouse and bra.

She took Anna in her arms, the girl nestling closely against Maura's warm skin as she stepped into the warm spray of the shower, gently cleaning the girl. Jane handed them a washcloth, watching Maura's gentle movements with her daughter for a moment before she remembered the vomit that was now staining the floor in the hallway. She sighed deeply and prepared herself to clean it up. This wasn't her favorite part of motherhood.

She cleaned the floor as best as she could, trying her best not to gag from the strong smell. She didn't know what Anna ate, but what was left of it was the worst smell in the world. When she finished, leaving a big wet spot on the floor, she heard the shower turning off and headed back towards the bathroom.

Maura smiled a sad smile when she saw her wife. Anna was nestled into her arms, her head resting in the crook of Maura's neck as her bare legs wrapped around her mother's waist. "Can you take her?" Maura whispered, gently handing Anna to Jane.

Anna let out a soft whimper at the loss of contact with Maura's warm skin, a sound that broke Jane's heart. "C'mon, baby. Let's get you dried off and into some warm clothes." She grabbed a big white towel and wrapped Anna in it, holding the girl securely in her arms. As Maura quickly threw a towel around her shoulders to keep warm, she grabbed another one to dry off Anna's wet blond hair.

Silent tears kept trickling down Anna's cheeks during the entire process of drying off and getting dressed into a clean pair of pajamas and a warm sweater. When they finished, Jane carefully lifted Anna in her arms and kissed the side of her warm head. "Would you like to sleep with me and Mommy tonight?" she whispered.

Anna nodded weakly and allowed Jane to carry her towards their bedroom. She gently put Anna down on the bed while Maura went into the closet to change. Anna kept crying softly and it broke Jane's heart. Her child was in pain. Therefore, she was in pain. She took off her pants, changing it for a pair of comfortable sweatpants and slid off her bra before pulling a sweater over her head.

"Mama…" Anna whined hoarsely from the bed, looking up at her mother with watery eyes.

"I know, baby." Jane caressed Anna's hair and kissed her temple. "Let me get you a bucket in case you have to puke again, okay? I'll be back in a sec."

"No, Mama," Anna tried to sit up, crying louder at the idea of her mother leaving her.

"I'm just running downstairs, baby. I'll be right back."

"I'll go." Maura came out of the closet, zipping up a hoodie over one of Jane's tank tops. "You stay with her." She smiled sadly at her wife before leaving the bedroom to find something that would make sure Anna didn't vomit on the floor again.

"Okay come here then, little peanut," Jane said softly as she slid into bed, pulling up the covers to make sure Anna was warm. The girl snuggled into Jane's side but wasn't satisfied with the warmth she was receiving, so she climbed up on Jane's legs, wiggling in between them as she nuzzled into her mother's front, her thumb sucked into her mouth as she rested sideways on Jane's chest.

"Are you feeling a little better?" Jane whispered, resting her cheek against Anna's warm forehead.

Anna shrugged. "My head's hurting. And the belly too."

Jane sighed deeply as her hand rubbed up and down Anna's back. "I know, baby. You're sick."

"I wants Ted," Anna said as fresh tears sprung to her eyes.

"Hm, let's ask Mommy to get him for you okay?"

"I already did." Maura entered the room with a sweet smile, holding the old teddy bear in her hand as well as a bucket she put next to the bed. She handed Anna the bear and got out a thermometer to measure the girl's temperature.

Anna looked at the device and clung to her bear as she leaned closer against Jane. "No, Mommy."

"This won't hurt, honey. It just goes in your ear like this, so we can know your temperature. You won't feel a thing, I promise." Maura sat on the bed and turned the device on, waiting for it the beep signal that would tell them it was ready to use.

Anna's bottom lip quivered as she cried harder and clutched to Jane's sweater. "It won't hurt, baby," Jane said softly, soothingly rubbing the girl's back. "Mommy's a doctor, remember? She's a very good doctor and she'll never, ever hurt you ever."

Anna squeezed her eyes shut as Maura gently put the thermometer in her ear, waiting for it to beep. The look in Maura's eyes was one of pain and sadness, something Jane hated to see.

Anna sniffled softly and Jane pulled her closer. "It's okay, baby," she whispered. "It's all over." Jane rested her chin on top of Anna's head and looked at her wife. "What's the temperature?"

"100,5." Maura sighed deeply and put the thermometer on the nightstand next to her. "God…" She stood up from the bed and hurried towards the bathroom, coming back with a glass of water. "You should drink something, baby."

Anna shifted to take the water from her mother, but the movement set her stomach off and she started shaking. Jane was just in time to grab the bucket before Anna again vomited into it, her stomach entirely empty now. Jane held Anna's hair back and gently rubbed the girl's back, her heart breaking at the tears on her daughter's pale cheeks. "Shh, calm down, baby," she said softly as Anna kept gagging, "deep breaths."

When she finally finished, she collapsed back into Jane's front, crying softly. Jane brushed her hand through Anna's hair that was plastered to her sweaty forehead while Maura took the bucket to the bathroom.

"Dehydration, norovirus, gastrointestinal, congestion…" She was mumbling as she paced through the room, getting a towel and putting it back, grabbing the glass and putting it back.

"Maur." Jane looked up at her wife and reached out to take her arm. "Calm down."

"Calm? She's sick, Jane!" Maura had tears in her eyes as her voice rose to panic. "She could get dehydrated but if she drinks anything it will upset her stomach and make it worse, and oh, I should have made her have orange juice instead of lemonade. She needs fluids, she-…"

"She needs you," Jane interrupted her wife. "Kids get sick all the time, Maura. We did too when we were little. She's gonna be alright, it's probably just a stomach flu. Tommy said TJ had the flu a week ago." She smiled up at her wife and gently squeezed her hand. "What she needs is her mom."

Maura sighed deeply and averted her gaze towards their little girl. She carefully sat down on the edge of the bed and brushed Anna's sweaty hair back. "My sweet girl…"

"She'll be okay, Maur," Jane whispered, pressing a kiss to her wife's temple. "Her Mommy's the most brilliant doctor in the world."

"I'm a Medical Examiner, Jane." Maura shook her head and dapped her eyes with the sleeve of her hoodie. "I'm not an expert on sick infants."

Jane shrugged. "Still."

Maura sighed and leaned forward to kiss Anna's hot forehead, clearly calming down after her short moment of panic. "I'm getting her some ice chips, so she gets at least some fluids in her body. If her fever doesn't drop within the next ninety minutes, I'll give her a acetaminophen suppository, as unpleasant as that will be."

Jane nodded, happy to hear her wife's calm tone of voice and reasonable plan. "Yeah-… Wait, like a butt pill?"

Maura glared at her wife. "She won't keep anything down and the fever is wearing her out."

Jane sighed and kissed the top of Anna's head. "Let's hope the fever drops then."

Maura nodded and stood up from the bed, but Anna's soft whimper stopped her. "Mommy…? You's gotta stay, Mommy!" The girl looked up at her mother with watery eyes, a truly heartbreaking sight.

Maura smiled sadly and leaned down to press a kiss to Anna's forehead. "I'm just going to get you some ice so you'll feel better, okay? I'll be right back."

Anna nodded and relaxed back into Jane's arms, being absolutely exhausted.

When Maura left the room, Jane grabbed the iPad from the nightstand and opened a video app to start up some kind of cartoon that would get Anna's mind off the discomfort she was feeling.

Maura came back with a few chips of ice in a glass bowl and an extra blanket, as well as a box of medicine just in case. "Here honey, just keep this in your mouth for a while." She gently spooned a chip of ice in Anna's mouth, smiling when the girl wrinkled her nose.

"'S cold…"

"I know, baby." Maura chuckled and slid into bed on the other side, nestling closely against Jane's side as she wrapped one of her arms around Jane's waist and used the other to make soothing strokes on Anna's belly.

"This is what she needs," Jane whispered as she felt her wife's head resting on her shoulder.

Maura sighed. "I know. My doctor-mode just went into overdrive." She snuggled closer against her wife and daughter and lifted her hand to gently caress Anna's cheek. "I hate seeing her like this."

"Yeah." Jane nodded and swallowed a lump in her throat. "Me too."

Anna lowered her thumb from her mouth and averted her gaze from the cartoon on the iPad. "I'm sorry for being sick, Mommies," she said softly, her voice hoarse and weak.

"Oh you don't have to be sorry, sweetheart." Maura tucked a strand of hair behind Anna's ear and smiled at her. "It's not your fault."

"Ahmed says it's bad for the kids if I's sick."

"Well, you might infect the other children. But Mama and I have good immune systems. I'm fairly positive we'll be fine."

Anna furrowed her brow. She didn't understand what her mother just said. "What?"

"It's gonna be fine," Jane said with a smile. "You just get busy about getting better, okay? We'll worry about the rest."

Anna just nodded, relaxing back in Jane's arms with a small shrug. She lowered her bear and absentmindedly fumbled with Maura's fingers on her stomach as she focused back on the cartoon.

Jane looked at her wife and saw those hazel eyes she loved so much filled with sympathy and love as she looked at their daughter. She loved that look on her wife. It was a look she reserved for Anna. There was no one else she loved like she loved Anna.

Anna vomited twice more that evening before Maura decided to give her the painkillers that would drop her fever so she would get some sleep. The girl finally fell into a restless sleep after she shifted in between her mothers and could snuggle into Maura's chest where she moved the hoodie in her sleep so she rested against soft, warm skin. Jane couldn't keep her eyes open and felt herself falling asleep, but she knew Maura would be awake, monitoring Anna throughout the night. It would be a restless night.