I am sorry for this long, rambling chapter. I tend to divide it and post several chapters but I left it this time. Thanks for the reviews!
Chapter 10: Throwing Caution to the Wind
by lightpathetic
KANAME came awake to the smell of coffee and the comforting waft of steam onto his face. It was his first indication of being home. It even registered before the warm bed and crisp sheets. He pulled the covers over his head and buried his nose into the luxurious, clean materials as was his custom now before rising. He strove never to forget how far he'd come.
"Good morning, Sir."
"Mornin', Seiren," came the muffled reply. There was nothing else for about four minutes until the covers came off and Kaname sat up to yawn and stretch. He looked over at where the prim blue-haired woman stood at the foot of the bed and smiled. She nodded appropriately.
"Lunch is about to start, Sir. I know you loath to miss…"
"Really! It's that late?!"
"Sir. I hope it's not a problem. Madam usually lets you sleep in your first morning back…"
Of course, he knew that. He'd also asked her to not to allow it. He had so little time here and wanted to soak in everything. He also liked that she defied him sometimes in little ways that made him feel… cared for.
He rose and headed for the bathroom, taking the cup of coffee with him, knowing his shaving equipment would be laid out, – he still did the deed himself despite Seiren's aptitude for doing everything for him – the shower water would already be warm and his clothing would be freshly ironed and placed for him to dress. He'd even be assisted with his pants and shoes.
He'd fought the idea of a "gentlemen's servant" at first but when he'd seen her, something about her small size and demeanour… her, - he'd been sure he'd get an elderly "Jeeves-type" character when Shizuka had first broached the subject – had immediately put him at ease. Odd, since he was certain a woman her age – late twenties, surely - milling about his bedroom would be disturbing, but no. She was scrupulously professional, treated his nudity as another tailored suit and kept her eyes lowered much of the time anyway. Kaname knew he was "in love" when he'd seen her stand up to his own guards with regard to even his sleep.
So, he'd practically adopted her, especially as he only had to say he was travelling and she'd pack everything and hand her his bags when he returned... He was aware she was household staff and answerable to Mrs Kiriyuu but she did what he wanted readily enough. He was just sorry he couldn't take her with him when he travelled but he had an example to set. She would have to stay a guilty "elite" pleasure he enjoyed at the estate. He did wonder if she would relocate with him to …
"You're ready now, Sir," Seiren pronounced, giving him her seal of approval as she hopped down from the footstool and moved it out of the way, having fixed the collar on his shirt to her satisfaction.
"Thank you. Did you see the new stockings I brought you?" He noticed she always wore them.
"Sir?"
"Don't pretend to be blind, Seiren. You can spot a black hair on a dark suit at ten paces."
"I saw the package, Sir…"
"They're yours. The other items…"
"Are on the table by the door, Sir."
"Thank you." He liked to take them himself. She knew that.
"I'll see you later," he said as he walked to the door, to her back as she ran ahead to open it for him. He prided himself in still not being "elite" enough to just ignore the "help".
"Yes, Sir! Later."
SHIZUKA was already in the salon when Kaname came down with his packages. He knew it would be awkward giving gifts under these circumstances but he'd spent some time picking them out on his travels and wanted to give them to them. Then they could talk.
"Good morning, Shizuka."
"Good morning, Kaname."
Shizuka rose and accepted the kiss on her cheek as the door closed behind him. She noticed, as she always did, the two guards that came in with him and stood near the doors.
"Do you want them to leave?"
"What?" Shizuka realised she'd been caught noticing. "Oh no! If you feel threatened by me…"
"Hah. Very funny." Kaname placed the gifts on a table behind him on the side of the room and gestured for the guards to leave. Shizuka did begin to seriously wonder about how she could be a threat to him…
"The boys should be here shortly."
"Yes…"
Kaname sat at the head of the table facing the French doors as was his custom as they waited. He tried to gauge what Zero may have said to her but assumed there had been full disclosure. Her smile did falter and Kaname's heart sank.
"Shizuka…"
"Zero mentioned," Shizuka began, at the same time. He stopped to let her proceed, his heart already audible to him.
"Yes?" he asked, prompting her to proceed. Surprised she was willing to discuss it but still hopeful.
"Zero mentioned that he asked you to let us go. I was wondering if you'd decided on your answer."
"Is that all he'd said?"
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing," Kaname looked away from her to where he saw the boys walking towards the house. What was he playing at?
"Well?"
"Shizuka. I firmly believe you all will be safer with me. To let you go now will be suicide for the both of us."
"We could leave the country. Go across the Channel…"
"Allow you to escape? Perhaps help you to do so? Betray the Supreme Leader and my country?"
"I…"
"Then you'll be over there letting the enemy know everything about me."
"No! We just want to leave!"
"I can't and I won't. But I have a proposal to make. I will make it when everyone is here."
Shizuka looked from him to the place setting before her in abject disappointment. Kaname couldn't resist. He reached for her hand, holding onto it as she tried to pull away.
"Please understand, Shizuka. So much is in play here that I can't possibly explain to you or make you understand. Things I have to take account of.
"You're looking at the past and judging the future by it. We are the future, Shizuka. I am the future. We are winning and making progress everywhere we set our sights upon hence why I need to move. I need to move up and… I am taking you with me. I don't see why you won't appreciate that. Your countrymen will understand because they too have to accept the way things are and will be. And you will be at my side when it happens…"
"That's it. I don't want to be."
"You'll want to be," Kaname replied, not fazed by her candour, preferring it. "Trust me."
Kaname released her hand and looked over to the open doors as the boys entered. Both greeted him desultorily before taking their seats. He risked openly scrutinizing Zero's mood as the boy avoided his eyes. He liked the hint of tiredness around the eyes, thinking it may have been his fault but then realised they all looked as though they didn't get much sleep.
As the staff began to serve lunch, Kaname decided to address their concerns afterwards. He was not unduly concerned. He was sure it was an offer they would not be able to refuse.
"SO WHAT you're saying is… you will keep the estate for us."
"Yes, Zero. I'll hold on to it…"
"And we can visit whenever we want…" Ichiru confirmed.
"Not yet. You mustn't be conspicuous. But soon."
"What has changed between last night and now?"
Kaname looked back at Zero, unable to resist acknowledging what was between them.
"You'd said it was 'excess'."
"I know but… before, I was unwilling to take the risk of putting my foot down. Now I am."
"Why?"
"Because it's important to all of us and I want to fight for it. It's the only thing I'm asking for and… I know of something the Supreme Leader wants very much. I'll give it to her."
"What?"
Kaname looked over at Shizuka at her utterance but said no more. They'll just have to believe him.
"So, do we have a deal? You'll come with me?"
The others remained silent, just looking at each other. He just waited as they thought about it. He needed an answer. Now. He wouldn't be able to relax otherwise.
He saw the looks exchanged between them. He knew Ichiru wanted to refuse, Zero was thinking about it and Shizuka was visibly worried about her family.
"We have no choice, really."
Kaname had mixed feelings at this utterance from Zero. He wanted them to want to come with him but was happy they were anyway. He'll make it up to them.
"We'll come with you," Zero finally said.
"Excellent! I'll make the necessary arrangements." His forced enthusiasm an effort to buoy their spirits which did not work. He got to his feet as the discussion was over. He just added one thing to salve their nerves.
"Just trust me. I'll do my best to do right by you. In time you'll have everything you could possibly want. You'll see."
Kaname turned to leave and saw the packages on the table. He'd forgotten about them. He took them up now to take them back to his room, thinking they would not be receptive, but…
"Kaname, are those our presents?"
It was Zero. He'd been fairly sombre since he came in but now he came up to him and took them out of his hands, his fingers touching his unnecessarily... Kaname looked into his face, wondering what he was feeling but inadvertently conveying how grateful he was for the contact.
"Come on," Zero chastised, smiling kindly at him. "You always do this. Bring us stuff then chicken out…"
"That's not true. I was just…" Kaname trailed off at the knowing smile. God he was kind. They all were. Was it any wonder he was smitten with them?
"Whose is this?"
"Ichiru's."
Zero walked to his brother and handed him the package, and stood there to wait until he'd opened it. Ichiru looked up at him incredulously. Kaname couldn't see Zero's face but he guessed Ichiru saw something that made him turn over the brown gift and begin to open it.
"I saw it in a market in …"
"You were in a market?" Shizuka asked, laughing a little despite her tears.
"Yes. I had a walk about to do and I saw it…"
"He's sticking to that story, mother."
"He is. Good thing we know about Ms Souen."
Kaname gave Shizuka an evil eye but was just happy Ichiru was opening his gift rather than throwing it at him. He couldn't resist getting stuff for them when he travelled, even if giving to them was awkward. He wanted them to know he thought of them constantly while was away, which was the truth. Thinking of their faces got him through being away from them.
Ichiru eventually uncovered the bridle. It wasn't an ordinary horse bridle. It had intricately cut etching on the metalwork and the fine, shiny ebony black leather had the same design imprinted throughout. There was even crafted ivory beadwork on the lead which made it seem a tad feminine but he smiled at it. Why? Because Kaname had found out about his collection the last time he was here. It had been an accident. Kaname had been in the stables petting Iris – the bitch liked everyone but him, apparently – when he asked to ride her. Ichiru had said sure, after a brief hesitation, thinking he would break his neck. Kaname went to a wall of bridles to choose one when Ichiru left his supervision of a veterinary inspection and handed him one from the far side, telling him those were on show. He'd noticed Kaname looked them over carefully before leaving. Not thinking anything…
"It's a bit showy…"
"He means 'thank you, Kaname'," Zero translated.
"You're welcome. I'm glad you like it. The lady assured me it was handmade. Old-world techniques."
Ichiru placed the bridle with some reverence on the cleared table – lunch had been long over – and looked over to where Shizuka was pulling carefully at the brown paper. This will take a while. She enjoyed opening the present more than the item itself. Kaname planned for her though. There was one piece of tape and one large section of paper.
She eventually admitted defeat and retrieved the box. Jewellery, no doubt…
"Oh!"
Kaname realised he was holding his breath when he inhaled noisily. She liked them. He was glad.
"Your… hair is growing back and… I saw them and thought…"
"They're beautiful! Butterflies. I adore butterflies!"
Shizuka raised one of the two matching hair combs of bluish-green jade, with blue stones where the eyes and antennae were located. The detail on the monarch butterflies was almost flawless. The stones were rare blue diamonds but he wouldn't tell her that.
"I thought they would hold your hair better than those pins."
"No doubt they will. But it's too much for every day."
"I disagree. They're perfect. Maybe you could demonstrate…"
"Later. When I've had a chance to fix my hair!"
Her hair was almost touching her shoulders by now. She supposed she could make an effort but the loss of her hair and how it was lost still haunted her. She replaced the combs and closed the box. They were beautiful enough to make her try them. Maybe.
"Where did you get them?"
"They were a gift from a Head of State. He said to give them to a beautiful woman."
"He did not."
"Well, I decided he did."
"Were they for your wife?"
Kaname lost his smile as she was mentioned. Shizuka liked to remind him of her from time to time. He knew why and didn't like it.
"No. They are for you. I'll look forward to seeing you wear them."
Kaname turned from Shizuka to Zero who was watching their interplay a little curiously. He could sense the subtle tense interplay and wondered about it and, well, last night. He looked from his mother to Kaname who tried not to fidget as he motioned for him to open his gift. God, this was awkward.
Zero pulled at the package with a lack of enthusiasm that wasn't lost on Kaname. He understood they were all trying to humour him and tried to ignore it. He also thought that Zero probably would rather be unwrapping something else of his right now…
"Oh!"
"What is it?" Ichiru asked.
"I think…"
"It's a utility knife. I've always found it useful…"
"It was yours?"
"I thought you needed one and…"
"Thank you!"
"Maybe there's still blood on the knife."
"Ichiru!"
Ichiru folded his arms and looked away. He was fed up with this. He wanted to scream. His life was in upheaval and they were playing nice with the instigator. He couldn't wait for the ball. Kaname deliberately addressed the concern calmly.
"I've never used it in combat for just that reason, Ichiru. Too many crevices to clean afterward. Although, the blade has dispatched many wild animals for my dinner."
Zero pulled at the blade tentatively. Kaname reached for it and slide the large five inch blade out with practiced efficiency.
"Why are you giving it away?"
"I hardly use it anymore and it's still in good condition. Plus, I remembered how we first… met."
"Do tell?" Ichiru sounded.
"Later, Ichiru. Thank you. I'll put it to good use."
"I'm sure you will," Kaname said, handing back the closed knife to Zero. "The wire cutter alone should help your cause in the future." Kaname gave Zero a sly smile at this and Zero looked away down to the knife. Something he'd cherished, no doubt. Zero wondered what to make of it…
"Well, thank you, Kaname," Shizuka said to dispel the awkward silence. "We'll see you at dinner?"
"Of course! I'll be here for a few days at least.
"Zero. Are you going back out to the fields? I wouldn't mind going with you."
"No. I'm headed into town to get some supplies. But Ichiru is going out to secure the animals."
"Secure?"
"I didn't get a chance to tell you, Kaname," Shizuka chimed in apologetically. "A pretty strong storm is on the way. Should hit tonight. We only heard about it this morning but you were…"
"Anything I can do?"
"No. We're already working on the shutters and have been securing the equipment all morning. I just have to go into town to see about a few things…"
"I'll come with…"
"No. Thank you, Kaname," Zero added belatedly. The last thing he needed was to bring the cat among the pigeons. "I'll move faster without the entourage."
"I don't have to bring…"
"No. You can help Ichiru with the animals."
Kaname resigned himself to Zero's direction and looked over at Ichiru who was staring daggers at his brother. However…
"Fine. Kaname, do you own a pair of jeans and real shoes?"
"Real…?" Kaname looked down at his highly polished, fine leather loafers and immediately became embarrassed.
"Sure. I'll be right back."
"CLOSE IT UP! Hurry!"
Kaname was among some men forcing the large corral gate closed while Ichiru shouted instructions from his horse, Rose, a beautiful reddish brown mare.
Not that anyone was admiring a horse while the rain and wind threatened to blow everyone over. It was only the initial bands of the storm but they'd also slightly underestimated the time it would take to get the free range livestock tucked in and secured. But they had and now it was time to head back themselves.
Several men got rides behind other horsemen, while others headed for the nearby trucks and jeeps. Ichiru settled to watch carefully as everyone safely left, then hopped down from his horse to again check the enclosures. Kaname stayed with him. He'd gotten a ride out on the back of Rose – the horses were at a premium given the circumstances – holding onto Ichiru as he rode… and he did assume - hope - he would return the same way.
Also, he loved this. The heightened activity did show what was required on a farm and watching Ichiru work showed a side to him that was far more mature than he usually showed to him. He was just as careful with his men as with the most delicate creature under his charge: knew all their names, even the new ones Shizuka had made him hire, and performed first aid when they injured themselves. Kaname got a chance to see first-hand why he commanded loyalty and affection. And why the family was so resistant to leaving. So many lives would be affected if they gave up this responsibility. Kaname began to think seriously about how he would protect it.
"Kaname, get on one of the jeeps!" Ichiru shouted over the wind upon seeing he was still standing there.
"What about you?"
"I'm staying here."
"What?!"
"That's an order!" You see, Kaname had promised him and the men – Ichiru had given them a brief introduction as they stood there bewildered by the Second Leader joining them for the exercise – that he would be like any other worker or stay the hell out of their way – Ichiru had made him add this last.
"There's a storm coming…!" Kaname decided he was off duty now.
"I always stay out here. There's a stone cabin just up the hill. Zero knows about it. He'll explain it to you. Go!"
Kaname looked behind him to the loading trucks and back to where Ichiru was alone checking the stalls. The hell he would…
"Kaname!"
"I'm staying as well. Tell me what to do."
"I don't want you out here! What if your guards shoot my family over your disappearance?"
Kaname actually paused to consider this. The workmen returning without him and Ichiru could cause panic.
"Who's a good messenger. Reliable."
"Kaname…!"
"Who?!" Kaname growled, near losing his temper. The kid had to realise by now there was no-one more stubborn than he was.
"Petkovic."
"Who?"
"The large red-head that knocked you over with the ropes."
"Okay. I'll be right back."
Ichiru watched incredulously as Kaname ran over to the jeep and whispered into the man's ear. He saw his foreman look at him in askance and then back at the Second Leader in some puzzlement. He couldn't help. He had no idea why he wanted to stay out here either. Eventually he nodded and began shouting for the others to hurry up and Kaname trotted back over to him.
"Sorted. What do you need me to do?"
"Kaname, for fuck's sake…"
The last of the vehicles pulled off as they stood staring at each other.
"Make sure those pens over there are secured. I'll go and stable Rose then we'll head up to the cabin."
"Okay."
Kaname pulled his shirt to cover his head and nose as the wind began to whip debris into the air. He hoped the men would get out of the weather soon and Petkovic remembered the message he'd sent with his safe word. He didn't think his men would kill the family but they would arrest them, shut down the estate and come looking for him. He wished now that he had brought his usual guards but he no longer feared for his life as he did before. The more he stayed at the estate, the more he got to know it and the personnel on it, the more risks he began to take with his person. He'd begun walking out to the stables and riding out to the fields by himself long before today and, with no incidents, he'd made the choice to leave his guards behind today, thinking it would be a brief absence. Now he regretted it as his guards would have seen first-hand his decision to stay.
"Have you checked the ties?"
"Twice. They'll be fine out here?"
"They should be. The drainage is good and the cliff should break some of the wind. Come on."
"Where is it?"
Ichiru pointed over his head and to the right. Kaname followed his finger and saw some trees and not much else.
"Okay."
KANAME followed Ichiru into, what he was surprised to find, was a one-room stone cabin tucked into the hill above the corrals. Kaname hesitated at the door, looking around at the Spartan interior of a potbellied stove, a double arm-chair and a pair of stools, a row of cupboards and a cot. There was a door to the back which, when he checked, contained a rudimentary shower and a bucket. There was physical space for the two of them but obviously it was not a place to spend Easter with the family.
"Excuse me."
Kaname let Ichiru pass with a machete, evidently to chop away some wild brush that was blocking his view and was hitting the cabin in the breeze. Kaname, seeing he had it in hand, merely watched as the view cleared and he could see all down the pass. Even framed by the malevolence of pregnant, lightning streaked clouds it was breath-taking. No wonder he wanted to stay…
"Can you start a fire?"
"Yes."
Kaname turned back into the cabin as Ichiru finished up his chore and came in to do a bit more maintenance. He used some of the branches to sweep the stone floor and beat the mattress, rugs and other linens outside – the initial bands had passed and the winds had died somewhat. By the time Kaname stood and closed the stove the place actually looked inviting. Kaname went over and sat on the stool and pulled his soaked T-shirt over his head. He relished the respite. They'd been working non-stop for hours.
"There's fresh water in those canteens there."
"Thanks."
Kaname went over to the saddle that Ichiru had hauled up here and removed one of the canteens. He took just enough to revive himself and went outside to hand the rest to Ichiru. Ichiru took a long swig, his strong, tanned throat working as Kaname watched…
"Thanks." Ichiru handed it back to Kaname as he resumed his battle with the furnishings.
Kaname drank a bit more before returning the canteen to the floor. The cabin was warming up nicely from the coal fire. He hung his T-shirt next to it on a nail to dry and removed his boots and socks to allow the same thing. He then began to explore what was on offer in this place while Ichiru brought everything back in and closed the door.
"I think it won't be long now..."
"This place is cozy. Did you build it yourself?"
"We did. Zero and I. We used to just stay in the cave itself until we got the idea to make it comfortable."
"You and Zero used to do this?"
"Whenever there was a storm."
"Is Zero coming…?"
"I hope not. It's getting bad…"
"Do you mean he'll try?"
"Mother may stop him."
And the guards, Kaname thought. If they knew what was good for them.
"I think it's a good thing I stayed."
Ichiru eyed the slightly smug dictator evilly and went to sit in the chair to remove his shoes while Kaname walked over to the one window which wasn't covered by shutters.
"Are there shutters for…?"
"Yes. I'll close them when it gets worse."
"Okay."
He had no complaints. The view was wonderful. He wondered what they did up here alone on stormy nights. His mind wandered to what he would have done with Zero up here on a stormy night. Or Zero to him…
"How long do you think…?"
"Bored already?"
"No! I was just wondering…"
"Perhaps just the night. We've never been here longer than ten hours."
"I see."
Ten hours? That long? He'd been concerned about Ichiru's safety but now he was feeling it was a long time to be marooned somewhere…
"You don't have to panic. I'll cook us something in a minute and after that and a game of cards you'll be asleep. Next, you'll wake up to my pushing you out the door before the Supreme Leader bombs the place."
"Hah. This is a family of comedians."
Ichiru gave Kaname a knowing look and stood to remove his shirt and pants. They were soaked and sticking to him uncomfortably. He was soon down to his boxers before Kaname could think of looking away. He realised this was a bad idea now…
Ichiru looked up to hang his clothes and spotted Kaname's attention. He quirked an eyebrow as he walked over to a hook.
"I do hope you aren't going to take advantage of me," Ichiru teased, knowing he wouldn't. He was fairly used to Kaname staring at him like a hungry bear.
Kaname looked away to the view. He had the urge to leave. To walk through the storm and escape…
"…Kaname?"
"Yes!"
"You were in another world. Why don't you take off the jeans?"
"I'm fine. Thanks."
"Okay."
Ichiru began to look through the cupboards. He soon came up with a few cans and an opener. He removed some silver packages as well.
"You have army rations here?"
"These? Some biscuits that can last a thousand years father got us."
There was a bit of silence while Kaname resisted but…
"How did your father die?"
Ichiru did hesitate briefly but continued as if he hadn't heard. But Kaname wanted to know. He came over to the chair, which was near the cupboard which Ichiru was using as a food preparation surface.
"Ichiru…"
"Does it matter? Why does it matter?"
"I guess I… don't like the idea of someone killing themselves and leaving you all."
"Neither do I. So we have that in common."
"What happened?"
Ichiru took a deep breath and flipped on a tap. Kaname was surprised he didn't spot it before.
"Rain water. Aunt Sayori has this same system."
"Oh. Well?"
"He drove head-on into a tree."
"Why?"
"God, you're persistent."
"I've heard that before. Why?"
"I don't know. He didn't tell me why he did it."
"Was he unhappy?"
Ichiru inhaled, placed the pot of corned beef, beans and potatoes on the stove-top and then turned back to Kaname.
"Obviously, Kaname."
"Ichiru. You know what I want…"
"I do. You want me to say that I think we killed our father. Maybe we did. I don't know. Zero is convinced of it. I think he was just a weak son-of-a-bitch. Mother wanted him to man up and handle it and he declined the challenge. If you want an insightful discourse into Dad's psyche you'll need to ask Zero. I wish to decline that tedious and unrewarding effort."
Ichiru took the opportunity to go over to the window and check the outside. The rain was coming down heavily now and the wind was more persistent. He really hoped Zero hadn't tried to come here. He peered down the hill and it seemed everything was okay. He turned back to stir the pot and saw Kaname was doing it. Instead he went to another cupboard and got some blankets.
"I usually sleep on the floor if you were wondering about the cot."
"Thanks."
Ichiru spread a blanket onto the cot and then two onto the floor near his saddle. He turned back to see Kaname rinsing two bowls. The man was handy. He decided to sit back in the chair and settle a bit, closing his eyes. Maybe if he slept now he could watch when the storm got worse.
"I can't picture you pandering to a politician. You're so…"
"Honest?"
"Harsh bordering on brutal."
Ichiru smirked, opening one eye to look at Kaname.
"Only with you, Second Leader."
Kaname turned back to the pot. He stirred the meal once to make sure it was hot and removed the pot to the counter. He then poured out the two servings, dropped two biscuits and a spoon into each bowl and brought them over to where Ichiru sat. He looked exhausted. Kaname remembered he'd only just gotten up himself.
"Here. Maybe I won't trouble you for the game of cards."
Ichiru mentioned his thanks then smiled sheepishly.
"I am tired. I was thinking to sleep for a couple hours and then I'll take the watch. If you don't mind."
"No. Of course not. That's why I'm here."
"Good."
They ate in silence, Ichiru on the chair, Kaname on a stool. It wasn't bad. But then he'd had stuff like this countless times before. He finished in record time. Shizuka wasn't there to pace him. He looked up from his bowl to find Ichiru staring at him in horror.
"What?"
"What are you afraid of? Did you think I'll knock you over for your food?"
"You don't waste time eating where I'm from."
"You don't say. I've never seen anything like it."
"Have you finished?"
"Are you kidding?"
Kaname stood and placed his empty bowl in the basin and began to wash up. Ichiru didn't understand that in his world, time spent distracted or at ease could mean your life.
"What was it like? The War?"
It was Kaname's turn to sigh. What a question!
"What part? The fighting, the killing, the starvation or the despair?"
"You. How did you survive?"
"I was lucky, I guess. And smart. It also took a bit of relentlessness."
"Cruelty."
Kaname darted a look at Ichiru. This boy thought he knew him. He was so different to Zero. Zero at least tried not to alienate him. Ichiru really barely cared. Oddly, he liked that.
"You've judged me and found me wanting, haven't you? But we're alike, you and I."
"Are you out of your mind?!"
"It's true. I think I know what happened to you. You were a nice, naïve kid, whoring yourself out for the finer things in life and then something happened to you to make you hard, able to make the tough choices, because you knew it was the only way you would be able to survive. Am I right?"
"Fuck you."
"I'll take that as a 'yes'."
Ichiru decided to say nothing more to this cretin for the rest of the night. To hell with him. If he thought he was the least bit hurt to be judged by a mass killer he had another think coming.
Ichiru finished his meal and went to wash up. The other items were cleaned and turned over on the cupboard to dry so there was nothing more to do but to turn in. Upon finishing his brief, cold shower, he went over to look out the window again and noting everything was alright, walked past Kaname on the cot to the blankets and lay down onto his back. The next thing he knew…
ICHIRU jerked awake to a stab of thunder that felt like it rocked the cabin. He groaned as he rubbed his face. He was sure he'd overslept.
The fire still glowed on in the stove but everywhere else was dark. He stood and walked over to it to look at his watch…
"It's eleven-thirty-seven."
Ichiru spun on the voice and peered into the dark. He found he could just make out someone by the window.
"Thanks."
"Don't mention it. The storm is getting worse."
"Yes."
Ichiru began to reach for his clothes and pull them on. Then he got his shoes…
"Where are you going?"
"To check on them…"
"Are you crazy?"
"Kaname…"
"Those are gale force winds!"
"Stay here, then."
Kaname did think he was joking until he grabbed a flashlight from his saddle and got all the way to the door.
"No!"
"What are you…? Will you get out of my way?"
"Ichiru, you can't go out in that. You won't get ten feet!"
"Kaname, will you let me pass? It's alright. I've done this before."
"This storm is probably stronger than any you've seen before. Listen. This place is vibrating."
Ichiru looked at Kaname's concerned face for a while then down to where he was holding his arms. Kaname released him, thinking he didn't want him to touch him. They hadn't left things on the best of terms earlier.
"Look. I've seen storms like this before. People just get killed. I was just thinking I should have dragged you back to the house."
"Then the animals…"
"Even if they're in distress you can't save them. They're huddled together. You're exposed. They'll live and you'll die..."
"Just let me…"
"No."
Well, this was where Ichiru got a little angry. Who was he to tell him what to do with his own animals? He wanted to take them away from here and carve up the estate for the other parasites. Maybe that was it. Maybe he thought he shouldn't care as it would all be lost anyway. He knew what he'd said at lunch was a lie, as Ichiru had suspected. It didn't matter. He and his wife will be dead by the end of next week anyway.
"Kaname, get out of my way or…"
"What?"
Ichiru blew an exasperated breath as Kaname placed himself between him and the door. The stance was defensive. He looked ready to throw him onto his ass. Ichiru was the type to take that challenge. He went over to his saddle, removed a cattle prod and swung at Kaname.
Well, to say it didn't end well would be an understatement. Kaname was a fighter and Ichiru was just angry. Kaname ducked, jabbed Ichiru hard in his stomach and divested him of his weapon without too much trouble. Ichiru was doubled over gasping for breath when Kaname hefted the heavy rod and hit him over the back with it. Ichiru fell forward and onto his side but was kicked over onto his back. He was still trying to catch his breath when Kaname straddled him.
He watched for a while with an inscrutable expression on his face before tossing the would-be weapon to one side.
"Don't panic. Just take deep breaths. Ichiru. That's it."
Ichiru did listen, especially as Kaname was stroking his hair. It was such a change from before he was actually scared. His accelerated breaths had nothing to do with the blow to his solar plexus. He stared up at Kaname with some concern.
"Don't look at me like that. You had to have had an idea it would end up like this if you attacked me."
"Why stop me? What are you getting out of this? What do you care?"
"Going out there would be suicide. I don't want to lose you."
"Why? You know I hate…"
Kaname covered Ichiru's mouth before he could say it. He pulled away as soon as he realised he'd done it.
"I'm sorry. The problem is I… don't feel the same way about you. You remind me of me when I was your age. I feel like I understand you."
"I'm nothing like you."
Kaname shrugged and straightened. He walked over to the cot and sat down, leaning over onto his knees as he looked at the teen. Ichiru sat up and scooted over to his blankets away from the brunette. They stayed like that for a while, a bit of a standoff. Until something heavy smashed into the cabin.
Ichiru was on his feet in a second. He lifted the latch on the door and it blew open. For many, many seconds, as they struggled to close it, the entire storm seemed to fill the cabin. Eventually…
"Fuck."
Kaname walked over to the fire and pulled off his shirt. He was soaked again. The rain was freezing.
Ichiru felt a little embarrassed. There was an enormous tree propped against the cabin and blocking the path. A tree that could have fallen on him. And now, they were both soaked.
"I'm sorry."
Kaname gave him one meaningful, silent glance before removing his jeans as well and hanging them up. He walked over to the cot and pulled off the blanket and wrapped himself in it.
"I am sorry."
"Okay. I heard you. I'm just cold and furious. No harm done."
Ichiru used his own blankets to mop the floor a bit, - they were damp anyway, as his bed was near the door - then went over to the stove and stoked the fire. He then pulled off his clothes and hung them near it to dry. If he'd known it would have been this bad he would have done… many things differently…
"Tell me about Kaien Cross."
"Who?"
"What did you see in him?"
Ichiru looked over to where Kaname stood near the cot. He was leaning on the wall and, for a change, he wasn't staring at him. He seemed to be lost in his thoughts.
"Zero told you why."
"I want to hear it from you."
"Tough. That's all in the past. I don't like to dwell in the past.
"Why don't you go ahead and get some sleep? We'll see what damage there is in the morning and about getting back."
Ichiru turned away to check if there were extra blankets. He doubted it. The place was hardly about comfort.
"What would it take… for you to see me that way?"
Ichiru turned at this… to find Kaname standing behind him. He was still holding the blanket tightly around him but watching his face closely. What was he looking for?
"Kaname, this is silly. I'm different and you're certainly no Kaien Cross."
"Did you love him?"
Ichiru turned away to tackle the cupboard again. Towards the bottom he did find some clothes he could lie on…
"Did you?"
"Do you really think your 'protection' gives you the right to the answer to that question?"
"I see."
Kaname seemed to give up and went over to the cot to sit down. Ichiru took the clothes and spread them over the rug near the stove before lying down again. He was getting warm again, the fire from the stove heating the place efficiently. He noticed that Kaname eventually did lie down himself but he could tell he was still awake. Ichiru sighed.
"I didn't…"
"I'm in hell."
"What?" Ichiru asked, quite sure he hadn't heard the quiet utterance correctly.
"I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting."
"What are you saying, Kaname?"
"I feel like I've made such a mess of everything."
"Are you trying to get me to convince you otherwise? I know Zero and I look alike but even you no longer make that mist...
"Where are you going...?!"
Ichiru felt a singular alarm as Kaname got up, threw off the blanket and headed for the door, shoving open the latch. Ichiru caught him as the door opened but was in time to slam himself into it and replace it. He then gave Kaname a hard shove into the room.
"Get this straight: I don't give a damn about you! But if you die out here it's my and my family's ass! What's your problem?!"
"I want you. I want you so much it hurts. Sometimes it hurts so much I can't breathe. I just wanted to breathe..."
Ichiru straightened from leaning on the door and walked closer to Kaname. He was standing there staring at the floor like he had no strength. He looked defeated. Ichiru made to circle him, staring at him as if…
"You're absolutely nuts, you know that? Completely out of your mind."
Kaname chuckled bitterly. He wished it were that simple.
"You don't know the half of it."
It did click. His asking about Kaien Cross. Christ. So that's what he wanted. No wonder he was miserable. But if he'd wanted either of them, he could have. But he never made a move.
"You'd rather walk out there than touch me?"
"You hate me. I had hoped…"
"So what? I've fucked people I hate."
Kaname looked up at him, as if he'd seen a glimmer of light, something encouraging… but looked away again.
"I don't want that. It's not reliable."
"Not… reliable?!"
Kaname walked away and sat on the cot again. He couldn't stand this. He placed his head in his hands. Just a few more hours and Ichiru won't be there in his boxers, walking around as if he didn't exist…
"I can't believe this. You… You want us to care about you…!"
"I know it's impossible, alright?" Kaname shouted, lifting his head to look at the boy. "I know it is. You don't have to go on about it. I just lost my head for a moment but I'm fine now. Honestly. Let's try to go back to sleep."
Ichiru was pacing in front of him, his eyes giving off a type of glitter that suggested he was about to throttle a certain brunette. Kaname pulled the blanket over him and made to lie down anyway. He didn't get far. A certain furious youth kicked over the cot.
"What the… What the devil is wrong with you?!"
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Ichiru shot back. "You think you can just say that to me and I'll just go to sleep?"
"What are you on about?"
"Kaien Cross was a dark period in our lives. We were young and stupid. You stand there and judge us by the mistakes we made as children…!"
"I'm not! What do you want me to say? That I'm jealous he got the closest to what I want desperately and I despise him for it? That I've fooled myself that maybe, just maybe if I wasn't Second Leader I could have had a chance…? I'm not proud of how I feel but it's happened. I saw you both, I know you both and even though Zero is good to me… knowing about what you did with him only made me want you too. Even if you are cruel to me. Especially if you are… cruel to me."
"Off your marbles. Completely."
Ichiru stopped pacing and stared at Kaname. Why was he behaving this way? How long had Zero or he hoped that the Second Leader would bite? That he'd make his move and they could leverage the situation. But he didn't. Why didn't he? Because he wanted… The man was insane.
"You can't expect us to like you…"
"I know."
"You can't!"
"I know!"
"But we would fuck you if we could get something in return."
Kaname recoiled at this.
"No. I give you whatever I have anyway. None of you want for anything. I never want to take advantage of you that way. Never."
"Kaname…"
"Never."
Ichiru folded his arms and shook his head. Absolutely certifiable.
Kaname eventually looked down at the cot and righted it, picking up the blanket and dusting it off as he pulled it around him. He was about to sit again when he found the blanket was being pulled away from his body.
"What…?"
Ichiru was looking at him, his body as if regarding it for the first time. He took his hands and began to slide his fingers along Kaname's shoulders, tracing the contours of his muscles, running the tips along his battle scars in some fascination, then down Kaname's chest, over his stomach and then down... to cup him. Kaname gasped, and held on to Ichiru's shoulders as he threatened to pass out.
"Mmmm. So wet. You weren't kidding…"
"What are you doing?"
"It occurred to me that we're alone here. No witnesses. A long night ahead and…"
"You want to pass the time?" Kaname exclaimed, trying to push Ichiru away. Ichiru allowed it but only retreated one step. He then slid his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers, all while keeping his eyes on Kaname's face, and pushed them down over his thighs, eventually kicking out of them. Kaname was looking. Ichiru knew he would.
"Now, I'm going to ignore the fact that you sounded insulted just now. I've decided your view of the world may be a bit… uncompromising. What I want you to focus on is the fact that I am naked and am going to touch you. If you still feel like you don't want to lower your standards then I'll stop. Deal?" Ichiru whispered this last into Kaname's ear as he began to slide the brunette's briefs off, his palms sliding along his body as his fingers were tucked inside the waistband. Ichiru stooped as he continued down Kaname's legs as if the briefs were the most fragile item, but tossed them away as soon as Kaname stepped out of them.
Kaname moaned and reached for the wall to steady himself as Ichiru began to run his hands over his thighs: outside, inside, exploring as if his body was just as precious. He ran his fingernails through the fine hairs on his calves and then behind his knees, slowly sliding his hands up to cup Kaname's behind, pulling him closer to…
"Oh God…" Kaname felt as though he'd lose his mind as Ichiru began to nuzzle his hurting dick…
"Do you still want to know what we did with Kaien?"
Kaname's eyes popped open at this. A bit of a mistake as he met Ichiru's eyes as they stared back up at him. They were looking at him as though… he couldn't wait to pounce. On him…!
"Or. Do you want to know what I'll do with you?"
Kaname did sound a bit like a tortured animal as Ichiru began to lick his erection while he was waiting. The youth was still holding Kaname to him, even though the brunette had begun a fairly vigorous trembling.
"Do you want more time to decide?"
"…You. I want…"
"See? You can be… taught."
The slight pause above was as Ichiru got to his feet and slid his arms around Kaname's neck as he began to back him up, around the cot, heading for his bed near the stove. He spread the blanket he'd somehow grabbed in passing and then pushed Kaname gently into lying down on it. Soon Ichiru was on top of him, watching him again.
"What?"
"You haven't tried to kiss me."
Kaname reached for Ichiru's head and tried to pull him to him but was thwarted, as Ichiru sat up.
"It was just an observation. I'll be right back…"
"I didn't mean... I wasn't sure…"
"Exactly."
Ichiru disappeared to the cupboard while Kaname rolled onto his stomach to watch him, thinking he'd die if he left him like this. He didn't. Ichiru returned and straddled him before lowering himself. Kaname tried to turn over again but only after noticing the oil. Oh God…
"I…"
"What? Do you want to change your mind?"
Kaname looked up at the teen, lowered his gaze to his body…
"No."
Ichiru smiled and stretched out over Kaname's body. The brunette moaned as his skin came into contact with his… Ichiru sighed in appreciation of the hot body beneath him.
"Do you know the worst thing I hate about you?"
Kaname's breath caught at this. No…!
"Despite everything… I still find you fucking gorgeous. Absolutely fucking hot…"
Kaname did grab him into a kiss, his body unable to take more of the above. He nipped at the lips he'd been dying to since he'd first seen him and began to suck, fence, and grapple with his tongue. He was on fire, his body writhing, aching to join with him. His legs slid along his body, entwined with his, begging unsubtly for what it needed.
Kaname gasped in deep regret as the kiss, that devastating kiss ended, and Ichiru began to kiss and lick his neck, his nipples, raking the sensitive nubs with his teeth as he realised Kaname tried to get away from him when friction was applied to them. Hands scored his scalp, pulled his hair as he fondled the brunette's weeping length, all while lapping at the plane of his stomach. He wondered how he would cope when he did reach it, massaging the hypersensitive tip as he dug his hot tongue into Kaname's belly-button. The brunette was already making that soft, plaintive animal-like noise again, a cry that spoke of the maelstrom of sensation inside of him.
Ichiru finally settled between his legs and slipped him into his mouth. He knew his taste from before and found he was anxious to get more. He tried to ignore the painful tug on his hair as he began to draw on Kaname's head, slowly increasing the depth with each languid thrust until his nose touched the soft dark hairs at the base.
Kaname was practically crying. His breaths came in harsh sobs as he arched back into the blanket, his chest and stomach heaving as his body tensed deliciously in the firelight. He felt aware of everything between his legs as if he only existed there; every thrust into Ichiru's mouth made him mad, every retreat brought fear he would stop, every lick was agony, every tender, hot, slick probing of his aching, engorged tip made him shudder in sublime ecstasy. It was torture, pure and simple. The exercise was tightly controlled. As soon as he was likely to fall the pressure eased and he was back in agony again. Oh, but it was the best agony. His legs were splayed unreservedly, unconsciously allowing the teen all access. He almost didn't want to end...
Ichiru lifted his head and reached over Kaname's stomach. Kaname heard the scrape of the glass on the floor and opened his eyes. He saw the bottle and tensed there, only then realising something, someone was already… inside…
Ichiru saw his face as he realised and laughed. He was adorable.
"My saliva isn't enough anymore. You're quite greedy."
Kaname coloured painfully at this. What was it with these boys? Shameless…
Kaname watched as Ichiru took the cap off with his teeth and poured the contents onto the juncture of his thighs. It was surprisingly warm. It was then he remembered that Ichiru had purposely placed it near the fire.
"Relax for me again. Like before…"
"I didn't know you had a hand up my ass before."
"It's only three fingers. If you want my hand, I think I can manage it…"
"No!" Kaname cried as the pressure increased tellingly.
Ichiru chuckled and kissed Kaname's inner thigh.
"Do it. Deep breath. Relax and trust me."
"Isn't it…?" He frowned at the conundrum. How did Kaname ask this…?
"What? Hot? Tight? Sexy? Yes…" Ichiru groaned, taking him into his mouth again. Taking him deep, making Kaname curl protectively at just the sight of the youth drawing on him with obvious relish.
Ichiru continued his sensual massage of Kaname's nerve-rich nub, his tight sensitive ring, all while licking, nibbling, sucking his length, beating his throbbing scrotum with his hot tongue. Kaname again forgot himself as his body began its inevitable climb. He had learned to fear it, knowing the pinnacle would be snatched from him again. He fought it but it proceeded, was allowed to proceed, as every muscle in Kaname tensed…
"ICHIRUUU! Oh fuck…!"
Ichiru came up on his knees and pushed Kaname into his throat; deep, repeatedly, hard, mercilessly, his cheeks caving in markedly in his effort. Kaname began to scream, the driving rain outside barely muffling his cries as his body quaked, his world tilted. As he came forcefully into Ichiru throat, the resulting groan on his taste nearly sending him into the sweetest void…
Kaname was barely aware of being urgently rolled over but he was. He was spent, or so he thought as he felt himself being mounted. At this point he could only manage a plaintive whine as his body opened to Ichiru, was stretched by him, and the teen began to fuck him, deeply but with infinite care, his groans at how good Kaname felt filling the air and joining the brunette's as his body took flight again, the inevitable exhilaration taking them both as Ichiru began to cry out himself, seeding Kaname's slick, contracting heat before falling onto him, feeling like he had nothing left. Nothing…
ICHIRU came awake to the sound of chopping. He rubbed his face to dispel the grogginess of sleep and pushed at… the floor hoping it meant he was getting up.
Christ. He felt exhausted. No. Drained.
Shit.
The door was open. He was wrapped in the blanket and some clothes but nothing else. But what assailed him was the absence of...
"Kaname?"
No answer.
He rose and found his clothes and began to dress. The sun was out. The stock needed to be checked. The world existed again.
He went out the door and looked around. He could hear the chopping. But saw no-one…
"Kaname!"
"Here! This tree was blocking the door."
He could see that. The cut branches were everywhere. If it had landed too much to the right they would have been trapped. It was a good thing the cabin was as tucked inside the hill as it was.
Ichiru walked out until he could see Kaname. He was standing on the trunk hacking away at it with an axe. He was half way along. Probably been at it a while.
"Why didn't you wake me?"
Kaname shrugged noncommittally. He resumed hacking at the trunk with a vengeance. Ichiru guessed he was anxious to get out of here.
"Fuck. I can't see a damned thing. This must be the biggest tree on the mountain."
"My men should have been here by now."
Ichiru realised he was worried about the damage elsewhere. He hadn't thought of it. The Kiriyuu house had been there for centuries.
"Look. Give me the axe…"
"No. I'm almost done…"
"You're not putting your back into it…."
"I have chopped wood before, Ichiru!"
Ichiru mounted the trunk and slid his hand possessively around Kaname's bare waist, an unconscious gesture of intimacy, and reached for the axe.
"Take a break, Kaname. I got this."
"Ichiru…!"
That was when they heard the horns. Ichiru grabbed the axe and began to hack at the trunk. Kaname backed away and wiped his face. He'd relished the activity. Made him not dwell on a certain naked boy asleep by the stove in the cabin, the fantastic night he'd had, and how that boy possibly felt now it was morning. Not to mention his sweetly aching behind…
There was a cracking noise and Ichiru hopped down and began to push at the section of tree leaning over the cabin. It budged and began to roll away from them, falling and becoming wedged in some trees below them. The path was clear!
"Ichiru!"
It was Zero. He was waving and smiling. Thank goodness. He was so worried about them…
"There must have been other trees downed. It would explain the delay."
"Yes."
Ichiru looked back at Kaname. His monosyllabic response spoke volumes.
"You don't have to worry. I promise what we did will stay between us. What's a casual fuck between friends?"
Ichiru smiled convincingly as Kaname turned away to retrieve his clothes, evidently not in the mood to share his levity. Ichiru went for his saddle as he noticed Kaname was putting out the stove.
"Ready? Leave everything else. I'll come back later and clean up."
"Okay."
Kaname walked passed the youth and out of the cabin, feeling like he was amputating a limb in the process.
Having had a taste didn't help with the pain. It had only whetted his appetite. But he was astute enough to recognise progress had been made and be buoyed by this. After all, Ichiru wasn't as immune to him, wasn't as unkind, as he pretended to be.
And maybe that would make all the difference.
to be continued
lightpathetic wrote this but these are not my characters. They belong to Vampire Knight.