A/N: Heay sorry you've had to wait for so long. Blame writers block. Hopefully you like this chapter and it'll make up for the long wait.

Warnings: - Descriptions of self-harm, may include suicide in later chapters. Eh language, Pre- Slash. Rating may change. Yea that's about it for now. I will change this though if there's anything else.

Disclaimer:- I do not now nor have I ever owned the rights to Stargate SG-1. That lovely privilege belongs to the people in Gekko Film Corp and Showtime. I'm just borrowing the characters. Promise I'll return them good as new.

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Janet's POV:

"Security to the infirmary, security to the infirmary!" I shouted. I had just walked out of my office intending to check on our newest patients but when I'd gotten to about 10 feet of them I had been blasted back by a force field of some sort. What I saw shocked the hell out of me. Though with all we see around here in the SGC it really shouldn't have.

Seconds later security personnel were entering the infirmary guns raised, ready and rearing to go. They too were blasted back once they had gotten to close. I wasn't surprised when I saw SG-1 and General Hammond enter seconds behind the SF's of the base. I ran over to them and told them what had happened. None of us were able to breach the barrier. Then to everyone's amazement, a gold light enveloped the two metsoins and they disappeared.

All the SF's looked around in shock, unsure what they should do now. The General told them all to search the base though no one expected them to find anything.

"My office. Now, Dr. Fraiser if you please." commanded the General. Once again I was not surprised when SG-1 followed.

"Are you okay?" I couldn't help but ask everyone. It's a professional hazard. Everyone confirmed they were okay, still slightly dazed from the insistent they had just left behind.

When we entered General Hammonds office he sat behind his desk and sighed before looking up at us all.

"Okay, Dr. Fraiser, just what did we see back there?" He asked me.

I felt everyone's eyes on me and I repeated what I'd told them in the infirmary, expanding the tail now that I had more time.

"Fine. Write up the report. We can't do any more anyway." Said Hammond.

"But, Sir!" Said Daniel speaking up for the first time, "We we're going to go back to the planet. They need our help!"

"It's out of my hands now, Dr. Jackson. I'm sorry. We can do no more."

I watched as Daniel silently fumed knowing there was going to be an explosion at some point in the near future. Daniel was not likely to take something like this lying down. Not after he'd promised to help their world. Whoever it is Daniel decides to unload on, I sure hope they have a stiff drink with them at the same time. They'll need it.

Daniels POV:

I'm fuming when I leave General Hammonds office. I can't believe that he won't let us help the metsoins. They came to us for help and we couldn't do it the first time. Then they came to us for protection and we couldn't do that either. How could we just leave them with that mess and not do anything ourselves to help??

I ignore the fact a part of me is also hurt by General Hammond's refusal to listen to me. As if what I have to say has no meaning. I'm the consultant here into different civilizations and even in our civilization leaving people to fend for themselves, when we had the power to help them was just wrong. Plain and simple.

I slam the door on my office closed and back up against the door. I take a deep breath and try a few calming exercises Dr. McNally thought me. With this being my last week on suicide watch I'd need to be very careful about how I present myself. I have one more session with the doctor before he 'releases' me from watch, though I'll still have to see him once a week. I'll miss Jack.

Jack, that annoying, irritating, wonderful man who's been there for me more than anyone else in this world, or even any other world. He's seen me at my best and at my worst. Despite this, I should be happy to get my own space back though, so why aren't I? I stop thinking about all this and go to the computer to write a report on why exactly I think we should return to P3X 509. I won't let this rest!

"Daniel?" called Jack. I look up from my computer and fake a smile.

"Hey, Jack. Eh, I'm really quite busy at the moment, can it wait?" I ask.

"Nope. It's important." he says. I look at his face to see if I can read anything from it. I can't.

"What is it?" I say.

" It's lunch time. You have to eat." he says with a straight face.

"That's it…"

"Ah…"

"Jack, I'm really very busy at the moment. I think food can wait." I say patiently as though explaining it to a very young child.

"Ah! Nothing is more important than staying healthy. Now you can either (a) come quietly, (b) stay here and I'll come back with Teal'c and Carter, or you can stay here while I bring a tray up to you and sit and watch you eat it all. I pick exactly what you eat and you'll have no choice about it." he says impressed with himself.

"Fine!" I sigh, "I'll come with you. But, just for something light, I really am very busy."

"Whatever, whatever. Let's go!" He cries impatiently.

We leave my office and I'm dragged down to the canteen laughing.

Jack's POV:

It was two days ago when I convinced Daniel to come down to the mess hall with me. He's barely spoken to me since. He's barely spoken to anybody since. When I walk into his office and see him stubble faced and dead on his feet I decide that I've had enough.

"Did you even come home last night??"

"……..", there was silence from Daniel.

"Daniel, answer me for cryin' out loud!" I grabbed Daniel and turned him around. I finally got a response, though it's not the reaction I had hoped for. Daniel screamed and pushed me away.

"Don't touch me, Don't touch me, don't touch me!!"

"Daniel, it's okay. It's me. It's Jack. What's happened?" Eventually he calms down long enough to realize that he's not really wherever his mind had brought him.

"J-j-jack, I'm sorry. I-I-I-I'm okay now. I'm sorry, you just caught me off guard. Eh, I have work to do…"

"Daniel, what's happened?"

"Nothing, Jack. Nothing's happened. I'm fine."

"Bull! Daniel, if you don't want to tell me that's fine, but tell Dr McNally at least. Please. You have a session with him in two days time. We can move it forward if you need to."

"You're kidding right? Two days before I'm off suicide watch and you want me to move a session forward!!"

"Why would that effect …unless…you're not feeling that way are you? Daniel? Are you? Please talk to me. Tell me what's going on." I say rapidly.

"Jack…Jack, I don't know what I'm feeling right now. But I do know I'm not risking my freedom 2 days from due date. No way."

"Look, Daniel, the very fact that you're worried this could jeopardize your 'freedom' as you put it proves to me you're not ready to be off it in the first place. Just, think about that will you? I'll be in my office if you need to talk." I turn around to leave but I'm surprised when I'm called back.

"Jack…she's dead."

I turn and face him.

"Who dead, Daniel?"

"Linda…my sister…my foster sister. She's gone…"

"Oh, Daniel…I'm so sorry…"

"Yeah, so am I." He turned away from me but I wasn't going to let him push me away. I walked over and put my arms around him. But he was having none of it.

"Jack! Stop! Don't, just please don't touch me right now. I don't want to be touched."

It was an odd request but I'd follow it for now.

"Okay, Daniel, no touching." I say backing up with my hands in front of me. He nods and takes a deep breath.

"What happened to her?" I ask. I don't think I want the answer.

"She…killed herself." He says matter of factly.

I was right, I didn't want the answer. "Oh."

"Jack, go away. Please. I just want to be on my own right now."

"I don't know if I should…"

"Please! Go. I'll be all right. Just go."

I stair for a minute and then turn around and leave, closing the door on the way out. I hear something smash against a wall.

Daniel's POV:

When Jack closes the door after him I pick up a cup and throw it against the wall. There's a coffee stain on the wall now. Still dripping. I can't believe she's dead. Linda, my dear Linda. A year younger than me but far more outspoken. We went through hell together. We survived together.

I slump down on the table barely able to hold myself up. Pain. Just raw pain. That's all I felt. Surging through me. Only it wasn't like a river running rampant. This was like a storm building. Winds increasing slowly only to consume at a later stage.

The funeral is in two days. I'd gone home last night to pick up any mail I'd received recently. Plus I'd wanted a few books for a translation I was working on. And there it was. The envelope all official and everything. For some reason, it was Linda's lawyer who contacted me. I suppose there was no one else really. She had never gotten married, never had kids. She was like me. No family to speak of. I really don't think 'Grandpa Nick' counts.

Why did she do this to herself now? I mean she'd always been the stronger of the two of us. I'd asked her once. I'd been thinking about Sean, my foster brother from the last house I'd stayed. I'd asked her did she ever think of just escaping. Ending all the pain. She went bizerk. Got all these books out of the local library on suicide and depression. And lectured me on it for two hours before threatening me at the end. She said if I ever killed myself she'd find a way to bring me back to life just so she could kill me herself. I never mentioned the subject again.

I rubbed my arms hard. I wanted to cut. But I really couldn't. If I went to McNally now he'd defiantly keep me on suicide watch for longer. I felt tears on my cheeks. This was breaking my heart. I could feel my heart breaking.

Linda, my Linda is dead. Why did everyone I love leave? After all we'd been through, what could have gotten to her so much that she did this?? I'm crying harder now. My shoulders are shaking. I'm alone.

Jack's POV:

I shouldn't have left him alone. But I didn't know what else to do. God I wish I could help him. I didn't even know about this woman though. I'd never heard Daniel talk about her. Though he never really mentions anything about his past in foster care. I can't sit still. I'm too wound up. I decide to go see

General Hammond. Daniel will need time off work to go to the funeral.

When I get there I'm surprised to see Dr. McNally there too. I'm reluctant to say anything now, but I'm already here.

"Eh, General?"

"What is it, Colonel O'Neill?"

"Sir, Its Daniel…" Both men sit up in their seats.

"He just found out. His sister, his foster sister that is, she eh, she died." I tell them. "He's going to need time off work general. To go to the funeral."

"Where is Dr. Jackson now, Colonel?"

"He's in his office. Said he wanted to be alone."

General Hammond and Dr. McNally shared a look.

"Did he say how she died, Colonel?" asked the Doctor, speaking up for the first time.

"She killed herself." I say.

Both are shocked. I'm not surprised. Dr. McNally indicates to General Hammond and he walks out of the office. To see to Daniel I'm sure.

"Sit down, Colonel." I close the door and we discuss time off for Daniel.

Daniel's POV:

I hear the door open up behind me and try to pull myself together.

"It's okay, Daniel. You don't have to hide from me. Tell me what's happened."

It's Dr. McNally. I wonder briefly if Jack went and got him. But right now I don't care. I'm too far gone to care. I can't seem to stop crying and I'm beginning to hyperventilate. I shake my head and refuse to look at McNally.

"Come on, Daniel that's it. Remember the breathing exercise I showed you. Think about them, or your Kel'no'reem."

He touches my shoulder and gets the same reaction Jack did much earlier.

"Okay, no touching. Please, Daniel, just concentrate on your breathing or you'll make yourself sick."

I try to slow my breathing down and eventually there is a noticeable difference, though I'm still breathing quite heavily. When I'm feeling a little more in control I ask Dr. McNally what he's doing here, but I still don't look at him.

"Jack went to General Hammonds office to ask for time off for you. I was there at the time."

"Did he say why I'd need the time of?"

"Yes. He told us about your foster sister. What she did. Daniel, will you turn around?"

Slowly I turn around my head still bowed towards the floor.

"Please, Daniel. Look at me."

I shake my head. I'm not ready to face anyone. I just want to curl up in a little ball and say hidden from everything forever and ever. Yep, I want to hide.

"Daniel, do you want to cut?"

I jerk my head up at that. But still don't look at him.

"Yeah…" I whisper.

"Okay. Come on. Let's go over to the couch."

I follow McNally and sit on the couch beside him. He takes out the knife. I notice it's been cleaned since the last time. Without hesitation I take the knife. I surprise Dr. McNally though by standing up and moving around in the office until I'm behind the desk.

"Daniel…"

"Shhhh…" I say.

I cut myself once, twice, three times, four times, that's when I hear McNally's voice in the background. He's standing up now.

"Daniel, give me the knife. I need you to give me the knife now."

But I ignore him. I keep cutting. Five times, six times, seven. He rushes over too me and tries to take the knife. But I back away into a wall. I'm panicking. I need this. I need to feel the blood, because she can't. Linda can't feel anything anymore.

I'm crying again and I feel the knife taken out of my hand. I slump to the ground and start rocking myself. I'm inconsolable.

Dr. McNally's POV:

When Daniel stood up with the knife I was on instant alert. When he didn't stop cutting himself I got up and tried to take the knife off him but he became violent. He slashed my hand with the knife before he backed into the wall. He'd started muttering to himself. Calling himself names. A clear panic attack. Finally I noticed him slump a bit. I was able to take the knife off him and he fell to the ground. This was bad.

"Daniel, Daniel? Daniel, you need to listen to me. You're bleeding heavily. We need to clean the cuts." He wasn't responding to me though. "Daniel, if you don't respond to me I'm going to have to call the infirmary."

He still didn't answer. I went back to the table in the room and reached for the phone. I dialed the extension number for the infirmary and asked for doctor Fraiser and a stretcher.

When Doctor Fraiser got to Daniels office he'd already lost a lot of blood. He was still muttering to himself and rocking. I still couldn't get at his arm. I was afraid to touch him at the moment anyway. I think that'll only make things worse right now.

"What happened?" demanded Doctor Fraiser.

"We'd been in a session. He wouldn't give the knife back. I don't think you should touch him right now. Not until he knows you're there anyway."

She gives me a look but accepts what I say. She kneels down in front of Daniel and starts talking to him softly.

"Daniel? Daniel can you hear me? Daniel if you can hear me I need you to give me your arm." She turns to me when he doesn't respond and I shrug.

"Daniel, please I need you to respond. If you don't respond I'll be forced to sedate you." He still didn't respond to Dr. Fraiser. She nodded to one of the nurses there and they prepared and handed her a syringe.

"Last chance, Daniel…" She waited but he still didn't respond.

"I'm sorry, Daniel. I don't want to do this." She stuck the needle into his arm at an awkward angle. I saw her look at his neck and was thankful she decided against that route. Daniel was never aware of the needle going in. He was babbling one minute and silent the next.

Two orderlies helped lift Daniel onto the stretcher and he was wheeled down to the infirmary. It was a horrible sight to see. Tear tracks still evident on his face.

Daniel's POV:

I felt groggy. Like I'd gotten too much sleep. Slowly I became aware of my surroundings. I could smell the disinfectant that clearly indicated I was once again in the infirmary. But why?

It all came back to me then. Linda was dead. She was gone and I had gone and made a fool of myself once again. No doubt worrying everyone once again.

I feel somebody close by, but don't open my eyes. I don't want to see anyone at the moment. I just want the safety of the dark right now. If I open my eyes it means I've to answer questions. Questions are bad; answers are worse.

"There's no point in pretending to be asleep, Daniel. I know you're awake." Jacks voice power over me.

Sighing I opened my eyes and looked at Jack. I sat up and he sat down on the chair beside me.

"How you feeling?" he asks me.

"Peachy…" I say sarcastically.

"Daniel, stop. Just stop."

"I'm sorry, Jack. I know you're only concerned."

"Damn right I'm concerned. I just found out my best friend tried to kill himself . . . again!"

"I didn't try to kill myself…"

"No? Then what was that?" He asks indicating my arms.

"Get out, Jack."

"No, Daniel, I won't. Now I think I have a right to know what's going on so tell me what the hell was that??"

"I just wanted to feel…"

"What?"

"I…I wanted to feel something, anything. Jack, Linda can't feel anything anymore. She can't feel anything. Jack, I needed to feel for the both of us. Can't you understand that?" Jack doesn't say anything to me. I close my eyes.

"Damn it, Daniel, don't do that!! Don't shut me out. Talk to me. Please."

"When am I getting out of here?"

"Daniel, I'm sorry but you're not getting out for a while. Janet wants to keep you here until she's certain you won't space out again."

"And that's the medical term for it is it?"

"Well you know me, Daniel, I've never really understood the medical babble."

"Just go away, Jack. I just want to be on my own."

"No, Daniel. The last time I listened to that you ended up in here. Why didn't you tell me you felt like cutting. You know we can talk about anything."

"No, Jack we can't. Not this. Never this. This is the one subject that'll always be closed. Now LEAVE!"

"No, Daniel. I'm not leaving. If you don't want to talk that's fine but I'm staying right here. You should probably know though if you co-operate now I might be able to get you out in time for the funeral."

"You Bastard! HOW DARE YOU USE SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO GET ME TO CO-OPERATE. JESUS JACK HOW CRUEL CAN YOU GET!!"

"I'm not trying to be cruel, Daniel. I'm trying to help…"

"Well, Jack if that's what you think help is then I don't want to see…"

"DANIEL! That's enough!" Dr McNally had just walked into the infirmary and actually looked angry for once.

"That's more than enough. Now apologize to Jack."

"WHAT!"

"You heard me…"

"Hey guys it's alright you know…" Said Jack.

Calls of 'shut up!' and 'Be quite!' were heard almost simultaneously.

"Daniel…"

"You're not my mother doc. Now I'm not going to apologize to Jack and that's that."

Dr. McNally's POV:

I'd like to say that things got better but unfortunately things only got worse. Daniel threw a fit. He was hallucinating, seeing things that weren't really there. I think everyone around here is hoping for another Ma'cello insistent, but I'm not so hopeful. Something happened to Daniel when he was in foster care and now the death of this women, Linda, has brought it all crashing down on his head.

In the end we had to sedate him again. He was becoming a danger to himself and to others. My hand had been bandaged up by Dr. Fraiser after we had seen to Daniel yesterday. I'd need 4 stitches. Things weren't looking good for Daniel. I could only hope that I would get permission to allow Daniel to the funeral tomorrow. I think the closer would do him good.

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A/N: Well what do you think? Let me know soon. I really am sorry about the long wait. I won't do it again. Promise.

Re-edited on April 4th 2009. Thanks for all the reviews.