A/N: So apperantly I can't even update regularly when I'm just editing stuff I've already written. I'm majorly sorry guys. Hopefully I can get my shit together, plow through all this old stuff and get to writing new stuff. But with college apps looming over me...who knows.

Chapter 9: Spaced

I couldn't sleep last night
My ears were ringing in my head
Best friends with the boogie man
I may be better off here dead
Running on empty once again
To tired for tears I dread
Sink deep to those magic dreams
While I blast off in my bed
- I Changed My Name, Sugarcult

Dylan's POV:

I didn't sleep well last night. Actually, I don't remember sleeping, I remember staring at my ceiling, thinking – or maybe dreaming? – of Spencer, and then I remember my alarm going off. I might have gotten some sleep in between, but I can't be entirely sure. I didn't really have to come to school today, what with having no parents around and all, but I dragged my butt out of bed and made it to school, on time. (That's right! Who's responsible? Me. Who would rather endure school just to see Spencer than stay at home in bed? Me.)

Now I'm regretting it, because as I sit zoning out, I realize I have no classes with Spencer today. That's mainly because I only have one class with her anyway, but that's not the point. What is the point is that I have to suffer for another hour before lunch where I might see Spencer. Yeah. And I haven't been paying attention in class (actually I'm fairly sure I dozed off twice) and the teacher is saying my name for some reason. So I can only do one thing.

"Huh?" I asked, looking at her as the class laughed. High school is a cruel place. Next week, I'll laugh at the next poor schmuck to fall asleep, but today that's me.

"I said, 'Dylan are you with us?' which you clearly weren't. Since you couldn't give me your full attention during class, I expect to see you here after school for detention, ready to learn."

"Aww man."

"Don't make me add another day."

"Sorry Ms. Orser."

"That's right."

Yeah, but that doesn't mean I have to pay attention for the rest of class – I mean really, the detention she gave is my get out of class free card. So I didn't, I actually caught some sleep, until the bell rang for lunch. Finally.

I grabbed my lunch and sat in my normal spot, with my usual group, who were carrying on a conversation I so wasn't involved in, because I was trying to spot Spencer.

"Yo, Dylan, you okay…? You look all…spaced." The voice that brought me out of my searching belonged to my friend Jasmine. My best friend. I've known her since I moved here, and she probably knows me best of all, but even she doesn't know about me questioning my sexuality. Actually, I don't tell my friends a lot of things, like how often my parents are gone. Every once and a while I throw a huge house party and tell them my parents are gone for the weekend, but they don't know all the gory details.

But Jazz, she's close to me. The one person I would tell things like that if I were more open.

"Yeah, I'm good, just tired is all."

She looked at me questioningly, but decided to drop it (knowing her there will be consequences later), keeping up conversation with the others at our table: Lexi, sweet but with way over protective super Christian parents, who she luckily doesn't take after, John, her boyfriend, who I don't know particularly well and probably never will, Kristen, also very nice, but much more reserved than Lexi, and Kyle, who I'm fairly sure is gay but hasn't said anything. Not that I'm one to judge or be the pot that calls the kettle black or whatever.

Just then, I found Spencer, sitting at a table with this one other chick, talking and smiling.

"Hey guys, I'm gonna go. Catch you later," I said as I rose and walked over to Spencer. I think they might have called after me, and I know they must have given me looks, but I just kept walking.

"Hey," I said when I came up behind her.

"Hey yourself," she said, grinning in a way that must have matched my own as I sat down beside her.

"You must be Dylan," the girl said, looking at me. She was pretty, maybe an artist or something, because she had paint on her shirt. Not that I was like staring at her boobs or anything, I just noticed. I'm perceptive, okay?

"Yeah." Wow Dylan, articulate.

"I'm Chelsea," she said with a smile, extending her hand.

"Nice to meet you Chelsea," I said, shaking her hand. (Who does that? Why am I so awkward?) "Do you like painting?"

She gave me a confused look and I pointed to her shirt.

Looking down and noticing the paint, she laughed. "Yeah, but it's just a hobby."

"Don't let Chelsea fool you. She is too humble to admit it, but she is a great artist."

Chelsea swatted playfully at Spence before turning back to me. "What about you, do you paint?"

"Who, me? No. I wish I was that talented. I play guitar, and every now and then I write some stuff, nothing big though."

"Dylan," Spencer half-whined, poking me in the ribs. She turned to Chelsea. "Dylan is actually a very talented guitar player and she writes notebooks full of great songs."

Chelsea raised her eyebrows approvingly, but I just rolled my eyes.

"How do you know they're all great? You've only heard one."

"I just know," she responded in a very "because I said so" way. If she'd crossed her arms and stomped her foot, she would have looked exactly like a seven year old.

"Hey, I'm gonna go," Chelsea said, standing. "Nice meeting you Dylan."

"You too," I called.

"So you want another ride home?" Spencer asked, scooting closer to me. So far, there was no more contact between us than friends, and I'd planned on keeping it that way, mostly because I wasn't out to my friends yet.

I pulled back a bit, noticing her disappointment.

"Spence, uhh, I'm not really out yet, so…"

"Oh, got it," she said, sounding a little disappointed before pulling back too. "So…ride?"

"Actually I got stuck in detention…" This time I was the one who looked like a little kid. Like a kid with her hand caught in the cookie jar.

Spencer scrunched her eyebrows up. "Oh, do you want me to wait?"

"No, you go on home, I'm sure your parents will be surprised to see you home right after school," I said with a chuckle.

"Ok."

Just then, the bell rang.

"Well then, this is it for today," she said, standing and pulling me up into a hug. "Stay out of trouble okay?" she said, looking at me like I really was seven.

I just gave her a sly smile. "Bye, Spence," I said mischievously, walking backwards and lucky for me not hitting anything as she shook her head at my antics, smiled and walked away.

Spencer's POV:

It was sort of nice being able to just drive home and go into my room. I needed to think about stuff. Like about the conversation I had with Chelsea at lunch. I had told her about Dylan, about how confused I was, and about how I just thought everything was going to fast. She listened, but that was about all she could do.

"Sorry Spence, I can't really help you, only you know how you feel. Just give it some time."

I guess she's right. I wanted to keep talking, but Dylan came up behind me. Not that I minded. In fact, when she sat down, I started smiling for no good reason .

See? I like her. I do. In fact, I really like her. She makes me happy again. But I can't totally shake the doubts from my head. What if she's just a rebound? What if she's just a substitute Ashley? What if I'm not over Ashley? What if all those are true and I break Dylan's heart?

And then there's the flipside. What if Dylan hurts me? She's just now figuring herself out and isn't ready to tell her friends she's dating a girl, but I don't want to be someone's secret girlfriend. Then again, I totally don't have the right to ask her to come out if she isn't ready, especially since Ashley never did that to me. Ugh. There we go, back to Ashley. Why do my thoughts keep coming back to her?

I decided couldn't deal with all those thoughts, so I put my iPod in and let myself get wrapped in my homework.

All these thoughts they make no sense
I found bliss in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away
Over and over again
- One Step Closer, Linkin Park