Author's Note: I can't believe this story has 10 chapters! I never thought people would like this fic as much as they do and I am so grateful to each of you who take the time to read and review this fanfiction. You're all amazing! Anyway, happy reading :D x
'I don't think I've ever seen you get so dolled up for dinner before.' Shelagh smirked from where she was stood in the doorway to Angela's bedroom a few weeks later, her arms folded across her chest as she was leaning against the doorframe and she watched as her daughter continued to curl her blonde hair with her curling iron. 'It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that I've invited Walter and his mother over, could it?' Angela was powerless to disguise the gentle blush that rose in her cheeks.
She and Walter Campbell had been friends for as long as she could remember. The two of them had first met when he had moved to Poplar and to her school in the summer of 1969 and her teacher had asked her to aid him in finding friends and settling in. It hadn't taken the two of them long to form a bond that was unbreakable; a bond that was still just as strong now as it had been back then, and she had to admit that as the years had passed by she had found herself wanting more than just friendship.
She had been his date to the school dance when the two of them had been fourteen and she could still remember how – during the slow-dance that the two of them had shared – he had leant in and kissed her. The kiss hadn't been deep or passionate; it had been the first kiss that either one of them had ever received, but it had been perfect nonetheless. He had been such a gentleman; his hands had never left her waist and every brush of his lips against hers had been slow and soft. He hadn't pressured her to do anything that she hadn't wanted to. She had to admit that it had been quite an incredible first kiss.
He and his parents had left Poplar and moved to the other side of London when the two of them had been fifteen, however, and it had broken Angela's heart. School had been dull and quiet without him and she had missed – no matter how charming the letters he had sent her had been – listening to the sound of his voice. It had been a little over a fortnight ago when Walter had sent her a letter that said that his father had been killed in an explosion at the factory that he had been working at and that he and his mother were moving back to Poplar, and – even though she had been saddened to hear of his father's untimely death – she couldn't deny that she had been thrilled at the thought of him returning.
'I still can't believe he's back in Poplar.' She shook her head once she had curled the last strand of her hair and turned on her stool to face her mother who was now sitting on the edge of her bed, Shelagh giving her an affectionate smile as her hands were resting in her lap. 'I've missed him so much, Mum.'
'I know you have, darling.' Shelagh replied. 'His mother says that he's missed you quite a lot, too.'
Angela fell silent for a moment as she unplugged her curling iron, Shelagh feeling her heart sink as she knew exactly what was bothering her. 'I have to tell him, don't I?' The seventeen-year-old asked when she met her mother's gaze, a deep sigh escaping Shelagh when she extended her hand to her. Angela then rose from her stool before taking a few steps and taking her mother's hand in her own, a troubled expression on her face when she lowered herself into her lap and snuggled into her warmth.
'You don't have to tell him anything.' Shelagh told her as she laced her arms around her slight waist.
'But I know him, Mum.' Angela said when she tilted her head back on her shoulder and cast her gaze up at her. 'I know that now he's back he's going to want to spend more time with me, and if we start spending more time together then sooner or later he's going to notice that there's something going on. I don't want to lie to him, Mum, he's the one friend I have who's never hurt me. I want to tell him about what Arthur did to me and that I'm going to be a Mum, but I'm scared that I'll disappoint him.'
Shelagh sighed as she ran the back of her hand down her cheek. 'It's your decision, angel girl. It's up to you to decide if you're going to tell Walter everything or not, but I need you to know that I'm here to support you no matter what you decide to do.' A loving smile spread across Angela's features then before she pressed her lips to her mother's cheek in a delicate kiss, her deep brown eyes drifting shut.
'I know you are.' She sighed after drawing back from her cheek and laying her head on her shoulder, a surge of warmth coursing through her veins when she felt her mother tighten her hold of her and run the palm of her hand up and down the curve of her side through the floral material of her blouse.
'I love you.' Shelagh whispered into her curls.
'I love you too, Mummy.' Angela smiled. 'More than anything.
'I'm so glad you're back.' She shook her head with a sigh of happiness when she and Walter were sat together on the wooden bench in the back garden later that evening, a small glass of lemonade in her hand as the crisp evening breeze swept through her curls like a kind hand. 'I've missed you so much.'
Walter was unable to prevent the gentle smile from spreading across his features when he gazed into her beautiful brown eyes. 'I've missed you too, Ange.' He told her before taking a sip of his own drink and leaning back against the bench. 'I know that we sent letters to each other, but it wasn't the same.'
'It wasn't.' She agreed. 'I remember how you used to come over after school on Fridays and we would do homework together, and then when your Mum telephoned to tell you that it was time for you to go home I would ask my Mum if you could stay and have dinner with us.' The two of them chuckled.
'Do you remember when I asked you to be my date for the school dance when we were fourteen?' He raised his brow at her, the blood rushing to her cheeks as a delicate smile appeared upon her lips and she nodded in response. 'It took me almost a week to work up the courage to ask you to go with me.'
Angela felt her heart flutter within her chest. 'You were nervous?' She asked. 'Why?'
'Because you were my best friend and I didn't want to do anything to jeopardise our friendship.' He admitted. 'And…' He shifted closer to her on the bench before lifting his hand to her face and tracing the outline of it with the back of his palm. '…because you were the most gorgeous girl in the school.'
His voice was no higher than a whisper as he spoke that last part and Angela felt the pounding of her heart grow stronger when his gaze fell to her lips. She knew – when he rested his hand on her waist – that she needed to put a stop to his advances; she had just gotten out of an abusive relationship and she wasn't ready for another courtship, but when he leaned in towards her she simply couldn't resist.
Her eyes fluttered closed when he captured her lower lip in a kiss that was warm and slow, a gentle sigh escaping her as she set down her glass of lemonade before resting her hand on his chest through his shirt. He pulled her closer with the hand that was holding her waist while they kissed, her hand traveling up the front of his chest before she cupped the side of his neck in her palm and used the pad of her thumb to trace the sharpness of his jawline. 'Ange…' Walter murmured between warm kisses.
She needed to stop – she knew that – but it was as though she wasn't the one controlling her actions. Even though she knew that the right thing to do would be push him off of her, she just couldn't do it. Never – not once during her relationship with Arthur – had she been kissed so perfectly. Arthur had always been the one in control of their kisses; their kisses had always been demanding and passionate and nowhere near chaste, but this kiss…this kiss was nothing like that. She knew that she could pull back if she wanted to; she knew that she didn't have to be scared to tell Walter to stop if she wanted.
But she didn't want to. That was the thing.
Their kisses remained slow and soft and chaste for several long minutes, but she was brought back to the present when she felt him trace the seam of her lower lip with his tongue. 'Walter…' She allowed her hand to slip back down to his chest, their breathing fast and ragged when he drew back from her and pressed his forehead against her own. 'I can't do this.' She breathed, her eyes burning with tears.
'I love you.' He told her as he caressed her waist through her blouse, his warm breath beating against her face as he grazed the tip of his nose against her own. 'I've loved you ever since that school dance.'
'I know; I know you have.' She whimpered as she ran her hand along the front of his chest and kept her eyes closed as she knew that as soon as her gaze met with his she would shatter. 'But I just can't do this, Walter.' It was a few moments later when she felt him stroke her blonde curls with the palm of his hand, her eyes flickering open before she saw the worry in his own eyes when he saw her tears.
'What is it?' He frowned, stroking her cheek in a comforting manner.
She could find the words that were needed to answer him and so she resorted to throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder, hot tears beginning to stream down her cheeks as she felt him wind one arm around her waist. The thin fabric of his shirt muffled her sobs while she clung to him, his hold of her tight and protective as he ran a tender hand up and down her back and released soothing shushes into her ear. 'I've got you.' He whispered to her. 'I've got you, sweetheart.'
It was quite some time later when Angela's sobs had ceased and her head was resting on his shoulder as she gave faint hiccups every now and again, her cheeks stained with tears as he ran his hand over her hair and pressed warm kisses onto the back of her head. 'Do you want to tell me what all of that was about now?' He raised his brow as he used his thumb to draw tender circles into her lower back through her skirt, Angela pulling back from his shoulder before she gazed into his midnight blue eyes.
'Do you remember how – in one of the letters that I sent to you – I told you that I have depression?' She asked as his hand remained on her back, Walter giving a silent nod in response as he sat beside her. 'I told you that it was because of some girls at school who wouldn't give me break, but that was just one of the things that made me depressed.' She took a deep breath as she gazed down at her lap for a moment, her hands wringing together when she looked up into his eyes again. 'The other thing that led to me having depression was being trapped in an abusive relationship.' She almost whispered.
The anger that he felt at the thought of someone hurting her or treating her as though she was dirt was unmistakable in his eyes, but she was so grateful to him for staying calm for her sake. 'I thought I was doing everything wrong – I thought that I wasn't showing Arthur enough love and I thought that I wasn't trying hard enough in our relationship – but I know now that none of what Arthur did to me when we were a couple was down to me.' Walter shook his head as there were tears in his eyes and he traced her jaw with his fingertips. 'There's another thing that I have to tell you about, Walter.'
'You can tell me anything, you know that.' He reassured her.
She shifted closer to him on the bench then before taking his hand in her own and lacing their fingers together. 'I'm pregnant.' She caressed his knuckles with the pad of her thumb as she swallowed the tears that were crawling their way up her throat. 'I was unsure about whether or not I should tell you because I didn't want you to be disappointed in me or never be able to look at me the way that you used to, and I -' She gave a muffled whine when he took her face in his hands and gave her a soft kiss.
'Breathe, Ange…' He chuckled when the two of them parted – attempting to lighten the mood.
Angela offered him a grateful smile before taking another deep breath. 'At first I wanted Arthur to be a part of the baby's life because I didn't want to have to one day have to tell my son or daughter that their father didn't care enough to stick around, but all he ever says when I bring up the baby is that I should put it up for adoption when its born. I've tried and tried to tell him that I love it and that no matter what he says I'm going to be the one to raise our child, and I suppose he's given up trying to persuade me otherwise now because he's told me to do what I want.' Her voice cracked with emotion.
'Mum and Dad have told me that they're going to support me and that they're going to help me take care of the baby when it's born, but I'm still so scared.' She admitted as she leaned against him and let him wrap his arm around her waist. 'I'm scared about the birth and I'm scared about afterwards, too. When I've given birth there's going to be a newborn who depends on me to keep it alive and to give it everything that it needs, and I'm just so scared that I'm going to mess up. I always imagined – when I was young – that when I had a baby I would be married and I wouldn't feel so alone.' Walter let out a soft sigh before drawing her further into his embrace, Angela's head coming to rest on his shoulder.
He turned his head in her direction before planting a slow kiss onto her forehead. 'I'm here for you.' He murmured against her skin, Angela tilting her head back on his shoulder with an exquisite smile.
'I know you are.' She replied. 'I know that you love me, Walter, but I'm just not –'
'Shh…' He brushed the tip of his nose against the bridge of hers. 'Never explain yourself to me.'
She snuggled further into his warmth then before burying her head beneath his chin and allowing her eyes to fall closed as she draped her arm across his stomach. 'Can we just sit here like this for a while?'
'We can do whatever you want, Ange.' He told her with a soft kiss to her head. 'Whatever you want.'
'Mum?' Angela said when she walked into the bedroom that her parents shared after knocking on the door later that evening, Shelagh humming in response from where she was sat up in bed as her back was propped up with her pillow. 'I was wondering if I could sleep in your bed tonight since Dad isn't here; I've got quite a lot on my mind.' Shelagh offered her a loving smile before setting the book that she had been reading down on the bedside table and drawing back the quilt, Angela tucking a loose strand of long blonde hair back beneath her ear as she started to make her way over to the large bed.
Once she had climbed onto the mattress she covered herself with the quilt before laying down beside her mother and allowing her to wrap her arm around her waist, her head coming to rest on her chest before she draped her arm over her stomach and snuggled up against her. 'Would you like to tell me what it is that's bothering you?' Shelagh asked as she began to brush the tips of her fingers through her daughter's hair, Angela sighing as she brought her head to her shoulder and met her warm gaze.
'Walter…Walter kissed me when we were sat outside together tonight.' She admitted as she curled her fingers into the thin material of her Mum's nightgown. 'And I didn't do anything to stop him. I know that I shouldn't have let it happen; I mean, it hasn't been that long since I ended my courtship with Arthur and I'm not ready to start another one at the moment, but I didn't want the kiss to end. I stopped him before he could take things further though, and he told me that he loved me but I – I couldn't say it back.' Shelagh pressed her lips to Angela's hairline while stroking her soft blonde hair.
'Do you love him?' She asked.
Angela lay in silence next to her for a few moments. 'I don't know.' She whispered. 'All I know is that I've never felt such strong feelings for someone before – not even Arthur. When Walter and I used to write to each other when he lived in the West End we never spoke about romance or anything of the sort, so I suppose I thought that he had gone off me or found another girl. When he told me that he loved me tonight though, I – I can't explain how it made me feel.' Shelagh smiled as she gazed at her.
'You can't rush these things, sweetheart.' She told her as she ran a warm hand up and down her back. 'I know that you're confused about what you want from Walter at the moment, but if the two of you are meant to be together then it will happen in its own time. I think that the best thing you can do at the moment is focus on yourself and this little one.' She placed her free hand on Angela's flat stomach beneath the covers, brushing her thumb against the pale pink fabric of her pyjama top. 'Your mental health and the health of the baby needs to come first, my love.' Angela nodded in agreement with her.
'Mum?' She yawned before burying her face in the side of her neck.
'Yes?' Shelagh raised her brow as she stretched to turn out the lamp that was sat on her bedside table.
'Even if Walter isn't the one…do you think I'll find someone one day? Someone who loves me?'
'I do.' She whispered before turning her head in her direction and pressing her lips to her brow. 'Now close your eyes and try and get a little sleep, angel girl. We can talk more about this in the morning.'
'Goodnight, Mummy.' Angela sighed as she settled in her embrace.
'Goodnight, Angela.' Shelagh smiled into the darkness before snugging her closer. 'Sleep well.'
Author's Note: Thank you all for reading Chapter 10 and please review! x