Location: Wakanda
Bucky finally got a call from Steve saying he would be flying in.
"When?" he asked urgently.
"Tomorrow morning." stated Steve happily.
"Do you know what time?" Bucky asked.
"Soon as I can, Buck. I will try to beat the sunrise."
"I want you to be safe. You should get some sleep before."
Steve scoffed, "No way I am getting any sleep knowing I'm going to see you."
That made Bucky smile to himself. He sat on his bed, "I will leave my door unlocked for you. Come on in and wake me when you get here."
"You got it." said Steve.
The next morning, Bucky was sound asleep on his side, facing away from the door to his hut.
Steve slowly came in and quietly set down his bag and took off his shoes. He was in casual athletic shorts and a white t-shirt. Slowly, he padded over to Bucky sleeping soundly in his underwear.
The blanket was hovering around the curve of his ass.
Steve climbed into the bed as gently as he could. He put one arm around Bucky's hips as he spooned him from behind. Bucky stirred and groaned softly. Steve pulled him into his chest and inhaled his scent deeply.
"Mmm..." Bucky smiled, not opening his eyes.
"Good morning. See? I beat the sun." whispered Steve.
Bucky squinted at the dawn light shining through the window shutters, "You sure did." He started to try and sit up.
"No no, don't get up. We can go back to sleep." said Steve, pulling him to lay back down and kissing his neck a few times. His hands spread over Bucky's chest as they cuddled as close as possible.
"I didn't sleep either. I was too excited." said Bucky. He went to roll over to face him but Steve held him too tight.
"C'mon, Steve. I want to see your face." giggled Bucky sleepily.
Finally, Steve let go of him. He rolled over to see his bearded Steve with even longer hair and a pretty prominent black eye. Bucky couldn't stop himself from gasping, "What happened to you?"
Steve held him close by the waist with one arm, "I knew you would get worried if you saw my face. Should be fine in a day or two. Let's just sleep, I will tell you about it later."
"Give me the short version." said Bucky, tracing his hand around the shape of the bruise and wincing.
"Bad guy jumped on Sam's back while he was flying. The guy had a heavy part from a chop shop we infiltrated and he kind of...hit me with it." said Steve, looking down over Bucky's beautiful tan and sculpted chest.
"Wow." Bucky said, raising his brows in surprise.
"It weighed like a ton. A normal person would have a crushed skull. I got lucky." he replied, still not looking at him. Steve ran his hand around Bucky's hip to his bare back, "I'm kind of embarrassed."
Bucky blinks slowly at him, still feeling pretty tired. A smile came over his face, making Steve finally meet his gaze.
"What?" asked Steve.
"You're still beautiful." Bucky replied.
That made him roll his eyes and shake his head slightly. He still wasn't used to smooth talking romantic Bucky. He loved it.
Steve pulled him into a slow kiss and rolled onto his back to pull him to lay on his chest.
They slept until the early afternoon.
Steve woke up first and started to massage his hands over the curve of Bucky's neck and muscular back. He licked his lips in admiration.
Bucky stirred and looked up at him, "Get enough sleep?" he mumbled, grunting and stretching a little.
"I think so. I'm starving though." said Steve.
Bucky nodded, pouting slightly, "Alright. We could do something about that. Want to take some lunch down to the lake?"
"Sure." he sighed.
Bucky got up and put on some pants. He bent down to the box next to his bed and pulled out his vibranium arm.
"Wow, look at that." said Steve in awe, sitting up and looking him over from the bed.
Bucky came over to him and flexed his arm, "Yeah, it's much lighter but still as strong as my old one. I've started to get used to it. Still don't like sleeping with it on."
Steve swung is feet onto the floor and reached out a hand to touch over the grooves of his arm. Bucky stood closer between his legs, looking over his face.
Steve's other hand held the small of Bucky's back and he made eye contact with him.
"It suits you. Way more than that last one you had." said Steve.
That brought a content smile out of Bucky. Steve slowly stood and brushed his hair out of his face and put their foreheads together.
Bucky pulled back pleasantly before he could succumb to him, "C'mon let's put some food together."
He crossed his hut and opened his new mini fridge Steve didn't notice before.
Steve also looked over his hut walls and noticed six lined up pictures drawn with crayons. He went over to examine them. They were mostly of Bucky and the kids, some had Steve in them. Most of the people in the drawings were stick figures.
"These are great." smiled Steve.
Bucky was loading food into a large tote bag. He looked over, "Oh yeah. The kids said I needed more 'art' in here."
Steve chuckled at one picture where he was depicted with a small head, a gigantic muscular torso, and tiny legs. "This is my favorite." he said, pointing.
"That one's from Chidike. The kid is obsessed with how strong we are. He asks me questions all the time." said Bucky, stepping closer to them.
Steve tapped a picture of colorful chaotic scribbles, "Lemme guess, an Oni original?"
"You know it." smiled Bucky, "She took forever too. She was very careful about her scribbling."
"What about this one?" asked Steve, eyebrows furrowed, pointing at the picture at the top corner. It was of Bucky with his new metal arm, holding a gun, surrounded by bloody men in a field.
"Oh, that's from Tacitus. It's a long story. A lot has happened since the last time you were here. Let's go to the lake." said Bucky, putting the tote bag on his shoulder.
When they got to the lake, Bucky picked a spot under a shaded tree and put down a blanket. He sat down on it and started to unpack the food and beverages.
Steve kneeled down on the blanket at first, "Are we...having a picnic?"
Bucky handed him a sandwich and smiled, "Yeah, I guess so, why?"
Steve was handed a cola in a glass bottled, "I've never been taken on one before."
While taking a bite of his sandwich, Bucky was looking out at the water. "Nice, isn't it?" he asked with his mouth full.
Steve scooted over to lean against his side, "It's perfect."
When they finished eating, Steve leaned back and sipped his soda, "Alright...what was going on with that bloody picture?"
Bucky chuckled and rolled his eyes, "Is it that important?"
Steve touched his face so he met his gaze, "If something happened, you can tell me." His expression was clear that he feared something happened due to Bucky's triggers.
Bucky looked over his face and noticed Steve's black eye was already healing.
He told Steve the whole story of the events with the terrorists. Steve's face scrunched up with so much concern, he looked like he might explode.
Bucky stared back into the water and leaned back on his hands when he was finished. He waited for the long speech about how he didn't have to stay here and he needed to try and stay closer to the palace, be more careful, but Steve stayed quiet.
He turned over the events in his head for a few minutes before lacing his fingers in Bucky's flesh hand.
"I'm glad no one got hurt but the bad guys. Sounds like you protected the village, Buck. That's fantastic." Steve told him.
Bucky sighed happily with relief. He felt a warm bearded kiss press against his cheek.
"Kaarina was right, you were brave." said Steve softly.
Bucky looked around them for prying eyes, "Stop…"
Steve smiled playfully, "What's wrong?" He kissed Bucky's cheek again, then his jaw, then his neck right in the spot Steve remembered drove him nuts.
"Steve…" laughed Bucky, unraveling their hands and nudging him weakly.
Steve let out a muted laugh against his neck. He kissed a little harder a few times on the sweet spot.
Bucky let out a moan and pushed him to sit back, "What're you trying to do to me, huh?"
They were smiling hazily at each other.
"I uh, didn't tell you what happened after those guys got locked up…" said Bucky.
Steve's face dropped.
"It's fine, no, T'Challa was called to the village the morning after. He came in here and offered me a position on his anti-terrorism squad. 'Said I'd be more than useful..." Bucky told him.
With a small nod, Steve asked, "And what do you tell him?"
"I said no."
"Just like that?"
Bucky shrugged, "Yeah."
"You didn't tell him you would at least think about it?" asked Steve, cocking his head.
With a shake of his head, Bucky said, "I'm not working for anyone anymore, Steve. I'm done with all that. I'm finally a free man. The danger, the nightmares I already have from people being hurt…..I just want to be left alone to do something useful and positive."
"Don't you want to help people? Prevent more children from being taken?" said Steve gently.
"I'm not you, Steve….you know when I was recovered from MY accident, I wasn't given CHOICE to join a force. I wasn't given a choice to do ANYTHING for 70 years." said Bucky, a little flustered.
There was surprise and then sympathy spreading over his face.
Bucky took a deep breath and calmed his face. He reached over to hold Steve's hand in his flesh hand, "I'm sorry. I just can't deal with the violence anymore."
Steve nodded slowly and squeezed his hand lightly, "It's okay, I get it, Buck."
"I mean, of course I want to help more children. It made me feel horrible to hear about them the way I did. So I told him if he ran into a tricky situation and he really needed me, he was allowed to come get me." he said.
"Good. That's a nice gesture." assured Steve.
Bucky nodded silently, gazing out into the water. There was a noticeable layer of angst pulling at his features.
Steve rubbed his back a little, "You alright?"
"Always. You're here with me." Bucky smiled back sadly. He then looked around over Steve's shoulder and noticed the kids coming to the water through the clearing.
"Steve!" a few of them said excitedly.
Steve turned to them and stood immediately, "Hey guys!"
The next evening, after a long day of Steve playing with the kids, Bucky had cooked for him for his birthday.
The hut was dimly lit by the little torches on the wall. There was soft jazz playing on Bucky's tablet.
Steve was sitting at the little table in Bucky's hut as he watched him put down two dishes full of food.
"Here ya go. Baked ziti and Kaarina helped me make a plum tart." announced Bucky, sitting down across from him.
Steve's face was all lit up as he looked over the food. "All for you...well, us. Just don't ask me for Birthday candles." said Bucky, picking up his fork.
"Why's that?" asked Steve.
"Fire hazard, genius." joked Bucky.
Steve smiled and shook his head, "Everything looks….amazing, Buck." He picked up his fork, "Thank you."
Bucky nodded and stabbed the first bite and held it up to blow on it, "Uh'Course."
Steve took a bit of ziti onto his fork ,wrapped the melted cheese around it a few times, and started to blow the steam off of it.
Bucky smirked and held his own fork closer to Steve's mouth, "Here, it's already cool. You should have the first bite."
Steve leaned forward and let Bucky feed him.
"Mmm!" groaned Steve, "It's perfect." he said with a full mouth.
"Really?" smiled Bucky.
"Mm!" he agreed, "Just like your Mom's."
Bucky opened his own mouth, leaning toward Steve's hand. Getting the hint, Steve fed the bite on HIS fork to him. They gave each other sly smiles as they ate.
Bucky nodded with a furrowed brow, "You're right, this is amazing. I've outdone myself."
After they finished their dinner, Bucky put the dishes in a wash bucket he had. Steve sat on the bed, watching him clean up. Bucky turned to him with his hands behind his back, "Gift time."
"I told you not to fuss over me." laughed Steve.
"Hey, I did not fuss. Shut up and take your gifts." said Bucky. He was handed a homemade birthday card from the kids. Steve opened it to see all of their sloppy signatures and pictures drawn all over it. Then Bucky handed him a few drawing books and utensils all wrapped together with some red yarn tied in a bow.
"Bucky…" he said, sounding touched, "This is so nice…" He started flipping through the small hand held pad and the two large ones, feeling the quality of the paper.
"The small one is to take with you and the large ones are for keeping here. I thought since you haven't drawn very much lately, this might inspire you to. Ya know, because this seems to be...your home now." Bucky told him, sitting next to him on the bed.
Steve smiled at him, almost as he was just realizing it.
For a man who roamed aimlessly, this was absolutely the closest thing to a home he could have.
Immediately, Steve put the books on the table, out of the way. He sat back down across from Bucky and pulled him into a deep kiss, caressing his back softly and holding his head with the other hand.
Bucky smiled and sighed into his mouth, running his hands down his chest to grip his hips gently. Every time Steve was handsy and romantic, it still caught Bucky by surprise.
"Happy Birthday, Punk." whispered Bucky against his lips.
"I love you." replied Steve, kissing him over and over, moving down to his neck.
It felt so natural by now to say that, like breathing. However, Bucky had trouble breathing at that moment.
Steve hands were strongly stroking against his spine, pushing him tightly against his muscular chest.
Bucky was pushed to lie on his back and dragged Steve on top of him to keep kissing that sexy bearded mouth. He heard Steve ask if he could take off his shirt. Bucky nodded, keeping his eyes closed.
He was suddenly shirtless.
Steve was straddling him and instantly shirtless as well. Bucky admired the way his muscles glistened due to his recent sweating in the warm light. It got a little humid in that hut.
He licked his lips and shook his head slowly. Steve smirked down at him and moved to start kissing his chest.
Bucky pulled him back up for sloppy kisses. Their tongues swirled around one another roughly. It flipped a switch in Bucky when he felt Steve suck his tongue hard into his mouth. Steve had definitely learned some new moves.
A deep moan erupted from Bucky's chest and he kissed back harder and more breathlessly.
Bucky breathed, "Mmph, fuck me."
Steve raised an intrigued eyebrow, "Haven't heard you talk like that in a long time."
Bucky blushed and his eyes started to shift, "Well...you gave me that mind blowing blow job last time you were here. I haven't been able to get the feeling of you out of my head. I wake up every morning thinking about it, along with other things I want to do with you…" His eyes drifted back to meet Steve's.
The look on Steve's face became some sort of mix of being unsure and aroused. "Oh yeah?" whispered Steve, trying to be sexy and stern.
Leaning up to bite Steve's lip gently, Bucky smirked, "Fuck yes, Stevie. Please? Make love to me like you used to."
A bewildered laughed escaped Steve, "I mean...I'm not prepared t-"
"I've even.….I've already prepared for it earlier." he said, laughing uncomfortably.
"Been planning this huh?" smirked Steve.
"Yeah, I found a shop in the market with some...tools I needed. I've been taking notes from the internet, I guess…" he shrugged.
"I'm glad you finally figured out the internet." Steve said, rolling his eyes.
"Hush. Is that what you want too?...Do you think...are you ready?" asked Bucky.
Steve nodded and smiled, "I've been thinking a lot about you too, Buck. You have no idea. I...I'm ready if you are."
Bucky pulled him in for more kisses and started to slide down his own pants. He felt Steve's hardness pressing against him. Bucky may have already stretched himself, but he still wasn't sure how well he was going to take Steve's huge super serum cock. It was a completely different size than when he was a scrawny boy.
Also, Bucky was nervous because he hadn't had sex in 70 years, although the toys he used DID feel alright.
Steve pulled off his own pants so the two of them were just in their underwear.
Bucky leaned over and reached under his bed to grab a small bottle of lube. He pulled Steve down to wrestle with both of their tongues a little more. When they pulled back, Bucky asked him something he hadn't heard since the 40's in their camp.
"How do you want me?" said Bucky, husky with arousal.
Steve stifled a moan at the question, looking over his gorgeous body. He moved himself between Bucky's legs to pull off both of their underwear. "Just like this." he answered.
Steve began stroking Bucky's cock just how he liked, moving his thumb over his sweet spot.
"Mmmm." moaned Bucky, tossing his head back, "Fuck."
Steve's hand was a bit bigger and felt a lot better than his own hand. He pumped in a sporadic rhythm, slower then faster.
Bucky grabbed at Steve's free hand but was pinned to the bed instead.
"Tell me what you want." whispered Steve softly with a smirk on his face.
"S'your Birthday." breathed Bucky, "What do YOU want?"
Steve let go of his dick and stared at him a little more heat in his eyes. He obviously needed to blow off steam from the mission he had just completed, there was pent up sexual tension, and excitement from the gorgeous man he loved in front of him, offering himself on a platter.
"You really want to know?" asked Steve, one eyebrow jutting up.
Bucky stared hard at him with his full attention and nodded.
Steve took a deep breath and let go of Bucky completely as he sat back on his feet. He grabbed his own cock in his hand and said unintentionally in his stern "Captain" voice, "I would like to feel your mouth around me and then let me make love to you….please."
Drinking him in and shaking his head, Bucky gave him his sweetest smile. Old Steve was shining through again. The words were "politely dirty" just like old times.
Bucky sat up and immediately ducked his head down to start sucking Steve. Steve gasped at his immediate submissive eagerness and let a slow and low groan out of his throat. There was no time to waste.
Praying his research helped his technique, Bucky continued to bob his head on Steve's cock, moaning around it to "make good vibrations" and keeping his teeth out of the picture.
His hands were holding onto Steve's hips to steady his thrusts while he sucked.
"So amazing, Buck. How are you so good at th...mmph." grunted Steve, running his hand gently over his cheek bone and through his hair. He kept trying to look down at him but the movements of Bucky's mouth made him close his eyes every time. It was too good.
After being deprived of being touched for weeks, Steve wasn't sure how long he could last.
Bucky felt a hand pat his shoulder gently but he just looked up at his face and kept sucking.
Steve shook his head slowly back and forth with his eyebrows furrowed, "I'll be done soon if you keep on like that. Unghh."
Bucky pulled back slowly all the way to the tip before kissing the tip and diving all the way back down until Steve's dick touched the back of his throat.
"Huhhh...okay, okay." Steve sighed, pushing him off gently.
It made a wet suction noise as Bucky sat back. He was smiling as he kissed up his chest to meet those pouty lips, which Steve kissed back gratefully.
"Lie back." said Steve roughly.
Bucky lowered himself dramatically slow and continued staring into Steve's big blue eyes. He watched him take the lube with one hand. After Steve poured it into his hand, he spread it all over his dick and moaned as it warmed a bit.
Bucky was lifting his ass and grabbing his ankles, trying to be as ready as possible, "C'mon Stevie…" he whimpered, knowing good and well it got to him.
Steve bit his lip and started to line himself up. Bucky gripped his shoulders tightly when he began to stretch him open and made a whispery whine noise.
"God….dammit." sighed Steve when he finally was pushed all the way in. He stayed still inside him for a second, "It's been so long…"
Bucky's eyes were squeezed shut as he hugged Steve closer to him. Steve kissed him softly to get him to relax.
"You still feel so good..." whispered Bucky, "You can move now."
When he felt him loose tension around him, Steve started a slowly gentle rhythm in and out of him. Bucky heard Steve's breathing become shaky above him as he kissed his neck roughly.
Their rhythm picked up speed a little and Bucky had to cover his own mouth to stifle a scream when his prostate was struck.
Steve looked into his face intently, loving his reactions. He searched for that sweet spot with his dick again and again, encircling his arms around Bucky.
Bucky rolled his head back and pulled his mouth into a hard line to stifle his noises. His hands were clamping Steve's big shoulders.
Steve reached down to jerk Bucky off while he fucked him. He'd always wanted to try it.
"Oh God, oh...godohgod." moaned Bucky softly in his ear.
Steve felt him clench around him, "You feel amazing, Buck." he whispered.
"I c-can't keep….ungh...I'm gonna…."
Steve smiled adoringly and slowed his thrusts, pausing longer against his prostate.
Bucky shivered all the way down his body and pulled Steve down for more kisses as he released between both of their chests. The clenching Steve felt made him moan long and loud into Bucky's mouth.
He silenced himself with his teeth on his lip and his thrusts quickened.
"Ungh ungh ungh," Bucky moaned in unison with their bodies colliding, "that's it, Stevie...let go for me."
Steve buried his face into Bucky's neck with a groan and finally erupted, buried deep inside of him.
The feeling of being filled up shook Bucky to his core and he moaned and shuddered with a grin.
"Oh God...Buck…"Steve whimpered, kissing his shoulder and panting in his ear.
"Mmm, I know. I'm right there with you." mumbled Bucky rubbing the back of his neck softly, "I missed this..."
Steve hugged him tighter and squeezed his eyes closed.
After a little less than week visit, 5 days in to be exact, Steve and Bucky were playing soccer with the kids outside when Steve's phone rang.
A couple of other little boys from the village where there to play too.
They were all alternating in drape robes and shirtless in shorts to separate the teams. The boys were playing in the sunny field until they noticed Steve answer the phone and walked toward the hut.
A few moans and complaints were shouted toward him.
"Hey just practice a little bit, guys. Steve's busy." said Bucky, kicking the ball to Chidike.
Bucky gave the boys words of encouragement as they kicked the ball back and forth to each other. He was completely distracted by Steve on the phone behind him, staring at his face from a few yards away, trying to read his expression.
He only had that flip phone for when he was absolutely needed.
A tight knot twisted in Bucky's stomach.
The soccer sped over to hit Bucky's leg but he blocked it last minute. Bucky picked it up in fake anger, "Alright, who threw that?"
They all giggled at him, pointing their fingers aimlessly.
He smiled and shook his head, "Kick it to each OTHER." He kicked the ball back and they chased it around.
Bucky looked back at Steve who was saying goodbye on his phone as he approached.
"Hey." smiled Steve.
"Something wrong?" asked Bucky.
Steve's face dropped, "Technically no, but we haven't weighed all our optio-"
"Steve." Bucky said sternly, telling him to cut the shit.
"Alright, how about we go in the hut for a minute." said Steve, ushering him alongside him.
The boys started to yell at them in protest.
"You still have enough for teams, guys. It's okay." said Steve over his shoulder.
The two men were shirtless and wearing cargo shorts, looking a little sweaty from the soccer game.
They closed the door behind them in the hut and sat on the bed across from each other.
"That was Natasha who called." said Steve.
Bucky wiped the sweat off his face, "I figured. So you need to leave, right?" he said flatly.
"She heard a tip about a new nazi terrorist attack. Before that happens, we need to-"
Bucky shook his head and interrupted him, "I don't need to know, it's okay."
Steve sighed but took his hand, "Buck, please don't be upset."
With a sad chuckle, Bucky said "I'm not…" He stood to pace a little, "I just...wish I would know how long I was going to wait for you each time…you go."
"Take it easy." said Steve, worry showing all over his face.
Bucky's eyes were shifting, his metal arm was whirring. He ran his flesh hand through his hair, "I'm sorry. Things have been so good with you here, but I can't relax and spend time with you because I'm constantly wondering when you will be taking off again. I can't relax when you are gone because you are probably in constant danger. I was supposed to get 2 more days. I-I mean, don't get me wrong, I like it here. I've made friends and everything so I'm not alone, but...I-I'm still…..I'm lonely, Steve."
Listening to his painful words, Steve chewed his lip with concern.
"I'm just not ready to say goodbye." Bucky whimpered.
Steve rushed over to him and pulled him into a hug. He could tell tears were bubbling behind his eyelids. "Hey, hey hey. C'mere. I got you." he said softly.
Bucky's breathing was heavy and slightly staggered.
He hugged Steve back, but kept mumbling quietly, "I just don't like the uncertainty, Steve. You have such a small team now. You have no back up...sometimes I don't hear from you for days at a time. You showed up here with a black eye, for Christ's sake. What if your next mission leaves you much worse off? I get so worried I'll lose you again-"
"It's okay, it's fine. Just stop. I don't have to go right now." said Steve.
Bucky pulled back and looked at him, his breath started to calm. "What?" he said in a small voice.
"Yeah, maybe I'll stay a few more days. I promised you that much and we don't even know if this tip is credible anyway..." Steve told him, keeping his arms around Bucky's back.
"Steve, don't do that. Don't put your team in danger because of me. I can't make you do that." Bucky said, shaking his head.
Steve put his hands on either side of his face to hold it still, "I'm not.…" he said softly, "you aren't making me do anything."
Bucky rolled his eyes, "Just go, Steve. Don't worry about it, I'm just being crazy."
"No...no don't even say that." Stever sternly. His expression and tone softened, "Buck, you know me,"
Bucky looked over his crooked smile as Steve continued,"I like to be where I am needed and I'm needed right here."
He was trying to get him to smile back, but only got Bucky to calm a little.
When Bucky obviously went to protest again, Steve kissed him to shut him up. He kept their foreheads together when he pulled back.
"How about this, I will stay for one more day and only leave a day early, alright?" Steve said softly, "I won't have to go tomorrow but I won't leave my team out to dry. Then my next visit will be even longer. Sound okay?"
Bucky pulled his head out of Steve's hands and stood back a little to look into his eyes. There was a silent pause. They could hear the boys playing soccer in the distance.
Steve touched the spot between Bucky's neck and shoulder like he always did and squeezed, "Does that sound alright to you?" he repeated.
"I don't know...don't make me decide when you leave so you don't have to be the bad guy, Rogers-"
Steve shook his head, "Buck," his voice was gentle and friendly, "I'm not. I'm asking you if we can compromise."
He stared into his eyes with a subtle smile.
There was old tiny Steve again. That face was the expression he used to make every time Bucky did something thoughtful for him. It melted him almost every time.
Bucky was breathing deeply to himself but he nodded his head, "Fine."
Steve pulled him into another hug and rested his chin on his shoulder, finally getting him to hug back completely.
2 mornings later, Bucky woke up to an empty bed and his tablet set upright next to him.
He looked around the hut and noticed Steve's duffle bag was gone. He'd left without saying goodbye.
They'd stayed up late the night before. Every time Bucky dozed off, he would jolt awake and grab at Steve to feel if he was still there.
Steve would touch his arms softly wherever he was clinging to and murmur, "Sleep, Buck."
Eventually deep REM sleep took him over. James Barnes was and always had been the world's hardest sleeper. Curse his body for letting him sleep through Steve leaving.
Bucky's stomach sank and he let out a deep sigh. His flesh hand ran through his hair and he willed himself not to cry.
Why wouldn't he wake him up on his way out?
He reached for his tablet to turn it off but it was glowing with a video ready to be played. The video icon showed a still of Steve.
He sat up straight, composed himself, and pressed play.
The video was much earlier that morning before the sun rose. Steve was all dressed in his stealth suit and gloves, ready to go, pacing the hut.
"Hey Buck." said video Steve, "I know you are probably mad at me. I don't want to wake you up though, look at you." The camera angle moved to show Bucky's sleeping form in bed.
"You're sleeping like you're in cryo again, pal." said Steve with the camera panned back to him, "I wanted to wake you to say goodbye, but, to be honest, if you were awake...I don't think I could've made it out the door." he chuckled.
A smile escaped Bucky as he watched the video.
"I wanted to make sure you could see me and hear my voice whenever you wanted, so that's why I'm leaving this message and…" he reached into his suit harness and pulled out his pocket art notebook, "I got my pad, I plan on using it. You really gave me a fantastic birthday, Buck. Thanks again."
He slipped the book back into his suit, "Listen, when I am gone, I want you to remember how much you are needed and wanted here. These people in your village, they love you. I do too. You mean the world to me." said Steve, looking right into the camera with his deep blue eyes.
"You are part of the reason I fight. You taught me how...and I have someone to come home to, who understands. That's all I could need." Steve said. The video panned back down to Bucky sleeping.
Steve leaned down and kissed sleeping Bucky's cheek.
Bucky smiled and touched his face as if he could feel it. "Anyways..." smiled Steve, "I'll see you soon, jerk."
The video ended and Bucky put down the tablet. He felt a little less betrayed, but still pretty sad he didn't get a chance to say his goodbyes.
The tablet started to chime as Shuri called him.
"Good Morning, Bucky." she said as the hologram of her head appeared above the tablet.
"Hi Shuri. How are you?" said Bucky.
"Would you like to come to my lab for some sparring? M'Baku said he would love to rematch." she told him, "That is, if you feel like it. I know Captain Rogers left this morning."
"That's fine. Just give me a few minutes." he said.
They disconnected and he turned off the tablet.
When Bucky stood and went over to his trunk to put on some clothes, he found a drawing from Steve on top of it. The drawing was a depiction of Bucky sleeping on his side naked. The blankets and pillows were all barely covering his private parts.
He smiled to himself and tucked it away in the back pocket of his trunk.
Location: Croatia
Steve, Sam, and Natasha had finished foiling the plans of the nazi group and had turned them over to authorities.
They were all heading back to a sketchy apartment with only 2 beds that they had to share. The vehicle they had to use was a small pick-up truck with only 3 seats. Steve was squeezed between Sam and Natasha as she drove.
Sam was dozing off. They had scouted out the nazi location all night and didn't catch the bad guys until the sun started to rise.
Natasha looked over at Sam snoring against the window of the truck.
"Hey Steve." she said softly.
"Hmm?" he said, staring through the windshield, also feeling tired.
"I got an interesting call while you were gone." she replied.
His eyes cleared and he sat up straight and looked at her, "Tony?"
"Pepper, actually." said Natasha, glancing over at him.
Steve's eyes widened, "What did she want?"
"She invited me to her and Tony's wedding. It's next year."
Steve's gaze drifted back to the windshield. His look was distant as he processed what she just said.
"Really?" he said, sounding like he was in disbelief.
"Yeah, she asked me to ask you but I told her I didn't think you would want to go. Since Tony and you haven't spoken...right?" she said.
Steve shook his head, "No...he drunk dialed me once, but I didn't catch it."
Natasha sighed and could see the look of sadness on his face, "I'm sorry, Steve. This was pretty soon and unexpected, but I thought you should know. Apparently Tony didn't tell Pepper about the phone. She found it and called me in secret. Said she misses us…"
"I see." he said, still staring off into the distance, "It wasn't really sudden. He's been planning on marrying her for a while but they kept splitting up."
"Well, I don't think I am going to go anyway. I kind of played both sides during our 'falling out' and he KNOWS you are working with me. I doubt Tony would want to see me." she said.
"He can't stay mad at you." said Steve, shaking his head, "You didn't betray him and hold back the truth from him like I did."
"Yes I did." she chuckled, "May I remind you that I found that mission report in that nazi bunker with you? I knew too."
"Fair enough, but you know it was a bigger betrayal on my end." Steve told her, "You should go if you want."
Natasha shook her head, "We can't go to formal events while we are on the run anyway. We shouldn't even send gifts. Pepper just wanted to extend an invitation to be nice and let us know we are welcome."
Steve sighed, "Yeah, I guess."
She looked him over and his head was hanging low, staring at his lap.
"You okay?" she said.
Steve didn't want to admit his jealousy, devastation, and sadness to himself. He definitely wasn't going to admit it to her aloud, even though she could read it all over him.
"I will be fine." said Steve.
She rubbed his shoulder comfortingly with one arm. He smiled back at her.
"You got something better now, Cap." she assured him.
Steve nodded, looking back down at his lap, "You're right, I do."
"Speaking of, how is Bucky?" she asked.
"Fantastic. Although, I think he is mad at me." said Steve.
"Why would he be?"
"I left without saying goodbye."
Natasha looked at him in disbelief, "Why would you do that?"
Steve looked out the windshield again as he spoke, "When you called, I tried to leave early. He freaked out, almost had a panic attack. He couldn't handle it. I need to start staying longer."
"You can't just run away from him when he has issues. You got to be supportive, Steve." she insisted.
"I know that, okay! I left a video message for him instead." he said, "I stayed with him another day and everything, but….honestly, saying goodbye to him is getting harder."
"Have you talked to him since you left a day ago?" asked Natasha.
"No…" he sighed.
"Steve!" she groaned, nudging him.
"I know! I have been texting him, but he hasn't responded with anything longer than one word." said Steve, looking anxiously through the window, "I hope he isn't mad for long. I really miss his voice."
She gave him a sympathetic look, "We don't have to be working constantly, ya know. It's not our job anymore anyway. We are free lancers. You deserve a break anyway."
"I always feel like I need to be doing my part, you know that. Why else would I have all this strength and power? It's my calling."
"Still not your job forever, Steve."
He sighed, "Agree to disagree."
"The world lived years without you around. You don't think you can take breaks here and there. Not the week or two you have been taking, but like a month? A year?" she asked.
"I can't do that." he said, shaking his head.
"Sure you can. How about this, why don't me and Sam come with you to Wakanda next time and you stay for at least a month? That way we are all in the same place and we all get a break. Sam and I have never been before." said Natasha.
Sam stirred in his sleep and snorted.
Steve considered it, "Hmm, I will talk to Bucky about it...hopefully."
"Call him tonight." scoffed Natasha.
Location: Tony's lab in the Avenger's facility
It was late at night.
Tony had a rough day, tons of meetings and questions he had to answer about the Avengers.
It made him really miss the old group and wonder if they were even WERE Avengers anymore..
He was sitting at his desk looking through holograms of old files.
There were pictures, articles, and videos of the old Avenger's group from when they originally came together.
The only remnants of his friends and what they used to be.
Tony found himself worrying about Bruce and wondering if he had left on purpose because he hated himself and knew this kind of group could never last.
As he looked over the pictures, he found himself zooming in on Steve's face the most. He missed that face, that jawline...the way he looked disapproving when Tony said something crude. He even realized he missed the arguments they used to have.
"Just call him." he thought, then, "I can't do that. I can't ever ever do that unless it is a life or death situation."
Tony watched the body cam footage on his suit of the alien attack in New York. Steve was squatting over him and said "We won." Then came that radiant 1000 watt sideways smile of his.
"Fucking shit." murmured Tony, fighting back tears and reaching into his box on his desk to pull out a joint and light it.
He paused the video on that smile and stared as he exhaled smoke.
Tears appeared in his eyes. The realization had begun to hit him over the last few weeks when he and Pepper held a press conference and announced their engagement to the world.
Now Pepper was talking to him about wedding invitations.
It was really happening, and that meant he could never have Steve ever again. He wanted to be with someone he loved that made him happy, and Pepper definitely met the criteria. She knew everything about him and still was willing to be with him and give him second chances whenever he didn't deserve them.
Pepper already took care of him, practically ran his life, and always knew what was best for him.
He kept trying to shake Steve out of his head, nothing ever worked.
Tony started to pace his lab, smoking his joint and staring at the image of Steve as if he was really there.
"Why did you keep so many secrets from me, you fucking liar? And why didn't you own up to them? Why couldn't you have stayed?" he asked aloud at the hologram, "How is running away from your problems a way to solve them?"
He dragged his joint and ran a hand through his hair.
Tony wanted a drink. He hated that he had to quit alcohol completely since he and Pepper moved back in together. He proved he quit by getting rid of his stash in front of her.
"Thought you were braver than that." he said to the hologram, "Dad always talked about how you were the most honest, bravest, the strongest and the most level headed….why'd you do this? Why couldn't you have listened to me?"
He realized he looked insane, talking to a hologram.
Friday spoke up, "Boss, Ms. Potts is calling."
Tony sighed and noticed that his joint had gone out on it's own due to negligence.
He touched his headset and answered her call, "Hey hun."
"Friday said you were still at the lab, Tony. Is everything okay?" Pepper said immediately.
"I'm fine. You aren't home right now, so I don't want to be there alone." Tony said, "Besides, I'm working."
Pepper sighed, "Working on what?"
"A project. I'm fine, Pepp." promised Tony.
"I'm just worried about you. You didn't call after your meetings today." she said.
"It's all okay." said Tony, "Really, just go to bed. Enjoy your trip. You have more meetings in the morning."
"Okay...but you know I will be back home the day after tomorrow. Please tell me if I need to come home early for any reason, okay?"
"Honestly, Pepper, you are smothering me. I'm not a wee little baby. I'm a big boy." he joked.
"Stop, you know I love you. That's why." said Pepper.
"I know. I love you too." said Tony.
They disconnected and Tony lit his joint back up and went back to staring at Steve's holographic face.
He walked back over to his desk and sat on the rolling stool. He straightened his black tank top he was wearing before re-lighting his joint.
Continuing to smoke down to the filter, he finally snubbed it and turned back to the picture of Steve.
"We could have been happy. You tricked me into thinking you wanted to be. Fucking asshole…" he muttered, turning off the hologram and putting his head in his hands.
After a minute of him silently crying into his hands, he heard his name being called behind him.
He turned around immediately to see Rhodes standing in the doorway of the lab.
"What the hell are you doing here at 1 in the morning?" laughed Tony, trying to make it seem like he was not just having a breakdown.
"Pepper told me to come check on you." said Rhodes, looking him over and noticing his bloodshot eyes, "I can see why."
Tony shook his head, "I'm fine. I told her that. I don't need a babysitter."
"I've known you for 30 years, Tony. I know when you are not okay. Don't lie to me." sighed Rhodes, looking sympathetic and stepping closer to him, "I smell the stagnant weed smoke in here. What's wrong?"
"Don't tell Pepper. I told her I quit everything, but I only quit drinking." said Tony, wiping his face and walking over to the oversized couch.
"Scout's honor." Rhodey told him, holding up his hand, and following him over to the couch.
They sat down together.
With a friendly hand to the shoulder, Rhodey said, "So what's going on? Talk to me."
Tony realized a few more tears were forming and falling down his face as he tried to think up a lie.
"It's just...my old bullshit. Bad memories, trauma, depression. It will pass." he said.
"No it's not. C'mon, Tony. It's me. You can tell me anything." prodded Rhodey.
"It's just so stupid. It's not worth sharing." said Tony, shaking his head and wringing his hands.
There was a silence. Rhodey took band his hand and crossed his fingers. They looked around the lab awkwardly for a moment.
"Is this about Steve?" Rhodey suddenly asked, making Tony snap his head back at him in surprise.
"What?" asked Tony as if it were a ridiculous question.
Rhodey just stared at him casually, "You miss him, don't you?"
"I can't miss someone who was never my friend to begin with." snapped Tony.
"Of Course he was your friend."
"Once you lie to me for years about my parents' death, you are no longer a friend."
Rhodey nodded, "I get it...but you still miss him. You just don't want to."
Tony squinted at him like he knew nothing, "He betrayed me, I don't-"
"I know." said Rhodes, holding up his hands.
Tony rolled his eyes, "No you don't. You can't possibly."
"No, Tony….I know. I know what happened with you and Steve." Rhodey said with a cautious flinch.
Tony's eyes widened, "You what?"