Title: When the Inside Wants Out
Chapter ten: Glass Hearts
AN: I updated! Yay!
In the dim lighting I fumbled for the key and unlocked the front door. At that moment there was a shuffling beside me and Tasku came running out, barking furiously. I jumped back, expecting the puppy to lunge at me, but instead, it jumped into a spot in the darkness.
"Holy shit! Call the dog off, will you!?" a male voice yelped.
I turned on the light and cocked my head to the side to catch sight of the man that little Tasku was trying to attack.
There, looming in the dark on Cunningham's porch was none other than Takeshi "jerkoff" Jin.
"Liz!" Takeshi waved his leg frantically as Tasku tried to nip at his heels, but I just stared.
'Good dog,' I wanted to say, but then thought of Cunningham's neighbors and decided to do what I could to stop the noise from both of them. With my free hand grabbed hold of Tasku's collar and pulled him into my arms. He quieted himself at once and couldn't help but smile a little. The dog had good taste, just like his master.
"Liz…" Takeshi tried again, but I pretended he wasn't there. I was fully prepared to slam the front door in his face, but at the last moment, he shoved his foot in the doorway.
"Liz, please" he strained from the weight I leaned on the doorjamb. I smirked at the look of pain on his face.
"You have a lot of fucking gall to come here."
"Liz—
"—are you sure you mean Liz?" I dropped Tasku on the floor and shooed him off into the house. "Don't want to call me a slut again?"
Takeshi dropped his head in shame. "Look, Liz, I-I know…I was wrong to say all that stuff to you but—"
I started to close the door on him again, but this time Takeshi pushed forward with all his might, sending the door slamming hard against the wall. I jumped back, startled, and Tasku came running out of nowhere. In the commotion, Takeshi was able to squeeze in and lock the door behind him.
"Please just listen to me!" He shouted.
"Why?" I challenged him. "You fucking prick, I should let this dog get at your throat!"
Tasku started yapping again behind my leg and Takeshi fell silent. His eyes were roaming around Cunningham's home – the fancy chandeliers, the leather couches, and the clean, sterile surfaces.
"You have to leave," I said firmly. "You don't belong here."
"Yeah? And you do?" Takeshi scoffed and picked up a small crystal figurine of a bonsai tree from a table in the foyer. I felt nervous, thinking of all the expensive things in the house, and took a step forward to stop him from doing anything rash.
"Put that back and leave, man. Just go."
Takeshi glared at the bonsai and then me.
"You think you belong here?" he challenged me again, and the words seemed to cut me deeper. Just what was he trying to insinuate?
"You think you fit in with his high class high society lifestyle? I mean, outside of IGPX…do you know him? Do you think you're anything to him but a piece of ass?"
"Jesus Christ, man…" my voice was a whisper.
For a moment, Takeshi seemed to regret his choice of words, but then shook the thought from his head. "I know guys Alex, okay?" he approached me with a more gentle tone. "You may think he's into you, but he's not. He's an opponent, not a friend. "
Hearing those words, I wanted to cry. It was disturbing to know that Takeshi could just look me in the eye for the second time that night and do everything in his power to bring me down.
"He's not," he said again, but like before, his voice was soft. "Liz—
"—I know what I'm doing here!" I snapped back at him, but turned a little so that he couldn't see the way my eyes shimmered with tears. "You can't just come into my boyfriend's house and start—
"—boyfriend?" Takeshi looked taken back, and I felt it too. Alex and I had been "seeing each other" for a total of two days, but it didn't matter. I wanted Takeshi hurt over it. I wanted it to kill him.
"Get out of here!" I cried out again, and Takeshi placed the bonsai back on the table.
"I'm only saying this stuff for your own good!" he challenged me. "Don't you even read the tabloids? Alex has sex with tons of girls whenever he wants it and you're no different from them!"
"No different from a whore, you mean?"
"Liz, you know that's not what I meant!" Takeshi tried to get closer, but I took a step back. "I'm saying Cunningham is not the guy for you. No matter what he tells you—
"—shut up!" I picked up Tasku before he could lunge at Takeshi and then turned my back to him. "You prick, you act like you're the only one allowed to be happy!"
"Liz…"
"You and Fantine, that's all right, that's okay, but when I find someone who treats me decently, it has to be wrong, huh?" Before I realized it, tears were slipping down my cheeks. "Cunningham cares about me. He cares about how I feel and he doesn't blow me off and…"
I could feel Takeshi start to get closer, and as soon as he touched my shoulder, Tasku began to squirm in my arms.
"I care about you too, Liz."
Before I had a chance to respond, the sound of someone jiggling the lock cut through our silence. There was a loud curse, and then banging on the front door.
"Lizzie! Lizzie are you okay in there!?"
Lizzie…
The smooth, deep male voice startled me back to reality.
Cunningham. My Cunningham.
"Alex!" With Tasku still in my arms, I bolted past Takeshi and unlocked the front door. Alex nearly fell onto me midway through his attempt to elbow down the door.
Without a second thought, I threw myself into his arms. I knew Takeshi had to be watching, and I wanted to him to eat his words. However, things didn't orient themselves the way I planned. Instead of holding me tight, Alex only gave my arm a slight touch before moving me out of the way and heading straight for Takeshi.
"What are you doing in my home? What have you been saying to Lizzie?" he demanded.
Takeshi looked at me with hurt in his eyes, but then shook his head.
"I'm not here to start a fight with you, Hume. All I wanted to do was talk to Liz—
"—talk to her? I had neighbors call me telling me they heard banging and shouting! What kind of talk…"
I watched Alex try to get closer to Takeshi, but as soon as Takeshi's back hit the wall, he pushed Alex in the shoulder and stood in front of me.
"Look, I'm just gonna go," he directed his words to me, though Alex was fuming behind him. "I shouldn't have come here…"
Takeshi closed his eyes and took a breath to collect himself. I wanted to say something snarky in response, but there was a softness to his voice that kept me silent.
"Take care of yourself, Liz. Please." he stepped in and cupped my cheek. It was so brief, and in a second his hand slid down to my shoulder for a squeeze. I surprised myself by not recoiling. In fact, for a moment, I was taken back.
"This stuff tastes like ass," I wobbled a little as I shifted a little beside Takeshi on the roof of his car. He was parked in the middle of a grassy field and we'd been sitting there for hours in the dusk, sharing a bottle of Jack Daniels he'd smuggled from his parent's house. He called me and he drove me there in silence before spilling the beans.
He and Fantine had broken up just hours before.
"You're still drinking it," Takeshi chucked too loudly near my ear and I knew he was as gone as I was.
"Yeah, I must really be trashed," I lay back on the roof and folded my arms on my bare stomach. From the corner of my eye I could see Takeshi trying to peer down the front of my half-shirt.
"Yea…" his voice became soft and airy.
"So…" I turned my head and watched Takeshi take a swig straight from the bottle. He tried to play it off with a drink, but I knew it was burning him. I could see the tears in his eyes.
"It's really over? Like I mean…for real?" I finished. I wanted to sound sympathetic, but blood was pounding so loud in my ears I had no idea how I came across.
When Takeshi said nothing, I tried again.
"S-sorry I…" I started, but then lost my nerve. "Pass the bottle, man. My buzz is wearing off."
Takeshi extended his arm to hand the bottle, and I managed to snatch it quickly before it spilled on my shirt.
"Sorry," he muttered, but I just held the bottle close. As I tilted it over my plastic cup, I heard Takeshi grunt.
"We both thought it would be right if we took a like…a break, you know. She said…sh-she said that…" he paused to collect his thoughts and I filled my cup to the brim.
"That she didn't want to be attached while we were so far apart. It's gonna be a year…" he mumbled. "But who the hell cares? I feel like…nothing really clicked with us.
"It seemed like—
"—not really," his lips formed a tight line. "not like…deep. I always felt distant from her at some level. I wanted to be close. Like as close as I am with…with you."
I sat straight up in surprise and spilled alcohol down the front of my shirt. I wasn't wearing anything beneath it and the stain quickly began revealing me. I met Takeshi's eyes in shock and studied his face. The rosy cheeks and the drowsy stare.
"You're loaded," I whispered, trying to chuckle a little, but my heart hurt.
"I always had a crush on you," he reached over and cupped my cheek. Startled again, I dropped the cup and Jack went spilling all over my lap and the roof of the car. Takeshi just chuckled and slid his hand down to squeeze my shoulder. "You are the only one who lkie…like…understands me. So…fucking sweet."
There was a long silence between us and takeshi downed the rest of my spilt cup.
"I always cared about you Takeshi," I blurted without thinking, but Takeshi just lay back against the roof. He really was wasted. Once again, I felt my heart start to ache.
"She thinks she should just screw around French guys in F-France-land while I wait on her," he snapped his head over to me while I began to climb down from the roof, soaked with alcohol and sniffling.
"She doesn't see…" he leaned up to watch me wring out my shirt. "What's right in-front of her eyes."
As soon as Takeshi stepped out, Alex slammed the door shut behind him.
"What a sore loser," he muttered under his breath. I nearly dropped Tasku.
"What did you say?" I tried to keep my tone from drifting into a hostile, accusatory range. Alex looked back at me over his shoulder.
"Hn?" he raised a brow.
"Just now you said…y-you called him a 'sore loser.'" I scoffed. "What…what is this Alex, am I some sort of toy you're fighting—
"—Liz, please. Don't. Not now." he touched my shoulder in the same place Takeshi had before, but Alex's hand felt heavy.
When he broke away, instead of asking what had happened, Alex surveyed the room. Instantly, he went to the crystal bonsai plant and corrected its place on the table.
"Thank god he didn't break anything, huh?" he gave me a little smile, but I didn't return it. Tasku began to whine in my arms.
"I'm okay too," I whispered. "Thanks for asking."
For a moment, Alex said nothing, but then turned and pulled me close before I could protest. Tasku, suffocating, jumped out of my arms and onto the floor.
"Hey, don't be like that," Alex sighed. "I was just frazzled. I left my practice as soon as I got the call, Liz. It's not like I came here to blow you off," he tried to kiss me, but I turned my head.
"I understand," I murmured.
"You look so wilted," he grinned and tried to push my chin up a little. "Where's my spicy Liz gone, huh?"
Alex began to kiss on my neck, and I struggled to pull back. He was a lot stronger than I anticipated, and even though I'd flipped and pinned Takeshi on occasion, I couldn't even make Alex budge.
"I'm not in the mood, Alex," I sighed out. "Just go back to practice," I immediately expected him to back off, but he kept a firm hold on my forearm.
"I came back for you," Alex still had a little smirk on his lips. "Don't be such a frigid bitch, huh?"
I stepped back in anger and it took all my restraint not to slap him across his dirty smirking mouth. When Alex saw the astonishment on my face, he looked apologetic.
"Hey, it's…it's late. I'm tired and I didn't mean to—
"—you seem to be saying a lot of things you don't mean!" I picked up my purse and hit him in the shoulder with it. "I knew this shit was too good to be true. All you guys, you're all the same—
"—Liz!" Alex grabbed me again, harder, and pinned me to the wall. "Look -- calm down! Just calm down. Haven't I been nothing but a gentleman, Liz? I've never made you do anything, have I?"
I had to force myself to look into Alex's eyes. He said all the right things, but after listening to Takeshi, it wasn't what I wanted to hear. Every word seemed to be missing sincerity, and my stomach churned at the thought of being lied to again. I didn't know who I could trust.
"Have I?" he demanded of me once more.
"No," I whispered.
"Then come on schatzi…" Alex started to push down the front of my dress. "Let's just make up."
"I think I'd feel better if I left," I said, suddenly uneasy, but Alex wouldn't let me go.
"Hey, what's the matter?" he asked. I couldn't look at him. It was a question, but to me it sounded entirely rhetorical. No matter what I said, he was going to keep pushing on me.
"I just want to go home," I tried a stiff shove, but Alex caught both my arms.
"Liz--
"--I have a headache, man. Please," I tried again, but he kept me pinned against the wall.
"Then calm down and let me take your mind off it," he reached for my zipper and I swung my leg up, between his legs. Alex cursed and instantly buckled down against the floor.
"Scheiße!" he crumpled before me in an instant. Tasku began to bark and I grabbed my purse from the floor. Alex was still calling after me while I ran like an idiot, straight out the front door. Once I was down the street far enough, I stopped to catch my breath. He hadn't even bothered to follow me.
'Probably back there icing his crotch.' I thought, sinisterly.
Standing there in the dark, I wasn't sure what to do. I was sure I'd overreacted a bit, but I wouldn't dare go back to see Alex and say that. No way.
'Real classy, Liz. Real classy.'
"You kicked him in the balls?" Amy spluttered through her tea, trying her best not to burst out in laughter.
I smiled and pushed my own cup around on Amy's kitchen table. If I could count on anyone to have an ear open at one in the morning, it was her. I'd headed back to my own place shortly after the incident with Alex, but when I couldn't sleep, ended up on Amy's doorstep. Though she looked like hell and was yawning every step of the way, Amy just smiled and ushered me in.
She'd grown a lot in two years – and not just in age. I had to admit, she'd matured into a beautiful young lady with a dark sense of humor and an adventurous side. I could trust and depend on her. Of course, it had to help that her parents were around again. She still lived alone, but I knew from experience that it was nice to at least have the option of having company around when you needed it the most.
"Yeah…" I said, wistfully, not making eye contact. "I think I might have overreacted, though."
"Why?" Amy stood from the table suddenly and began rooting through the cabinets for something. "From the way you explained it, he was pretty much forcing himself on you. You don't deserve stuff like that from that prick…"
I swirled the last bit of tea around in my mug and then took a sip. I could barely swallow. All the sugar had collected at the bottom and I hadn't stirred properly.
"He was all right beforehand, though. I think he might have still been peeved about Takeshi and…I don't know… he probably thought it was a good way to get on my good side."
Amy pulled a tin of English sugar cookies from the shelf and nearly dropped it upon hearing me speak.
"Are you kidding me? Am I speaking to Liz Ricarro right now? Seriously?"
She dropped the tin on the table and I put my head in my hands.
"I don't know what's happened to me. Normally I would have pounded my friggin' fist through his skull, but…"
"Maybe Cunningham mesmerized you. He said all the right things, didn't he?"
"Yeah, and the sex was pretty phenomenal," I sighed without thinking and poured myself another cup of tea. Amy plopped down with a coy smirk on her lips.
"Really?" she took a few cookies from the tin and then passed it to me. "Spill."
"You're too young to know," I teased.
"Liz!"
"Let's just say…" I peeked at her over the rim of my cup. "He's one hell of a forward."
Amy burst into a fit of laughter. "Yeah, and a manipulative jerk. We'll have to crush Velshtein on Wednesday."
I stared back at the tea again. "About that…"
"What's wrong?"
"I just don't know if I'm ready to give up on him. Sure, he said some shitty things, but it's nothing like what Takeshi did to me. It's not like he…"
"Like he what?" Amy's voice was firm, but full of concern. "If Alex doesn't treat you right, you'd be a fool to settle!"
"You sayin' I'm an idiot or something?" I clenched my teacup and growled. She wasn't the one I was mad at, but I felt like unleashing.
"Liz, come on. I'm calling things the way I see them. I think it's time to accept things for the way they are. Takeshi is…he's…I have no idea what's going on in his mind right now, but forget about him. Don't let his business get in the way of you and…someone special. Just think, if he hadn't shown up tonight, would you be here with me?"
"No," I murmured, but then thought of Alex's comment back in the apartment.
'Sore loser…'
"Maybe I should just apologize,"
Amy tensed visibly. "Well, yes…I guess. If…if you think that's what's right. Just make sure you're happy. That's all I want to see, Liz. Your happiness."
We were quiet together for a while, but then I nodded.
"Thanks for the tea and pep talk, Ames." I pushed away my cup of tea, still full, and stood. "I guess I'll leave you alone now."
I chuckled to myself, but Amy caught my wrist at the last moment.
"Hey, stay." Her voice was soft and sweet on my ears. "You'd have to be insane to go prancing up and down the streets in that dress at this time of night."
"Liz Ricarro doesn't prance," I laughed and Amy's grip eased up. Her palm slid into mine and for a moment, I realized how soft her hands were. Amy recoiled first, as if her fingers were on fire, and then averted her gaze to the hall. The dim lighting cast a warm, rosy glow on her cheeks, and for a moment it seemed as though she was blushing.
"Anyway, you should stay here. My bed's big enough for the two of us. It'll be like a big, dysfunctional sleepover."
Amy laughed suddenly and I studied her carefully.
"Are you okay?" I wondered aloud. Amy shifted from foot to foot, suddenly timid. I hadn't seen her act that way since she was 14.
"I just…" she came closer. "I'm real worried about you. Men can be such pigs. I mean--"
She cut herself off and shook her head, sending her once-perfect blonde pin-curls everywhere.
"We have an early practice tomorrow. Let's get to bed so we can kick ass, huh?" Amy gave me a stiff punch in the shoulder and I responded with a slow nod.
Trying to shake off Amy's weirdness and Alex's jack-assy behavior, I thought of Takeshi. It had been a while since I'd seen him and Francine together. I stood in the hall while Amy busied herself cleaning up her room and recalled the gentle way he touched my shoulder, and the strange softness in his voice. But instead of comforting, it disturbed me.