Hey guys,
Slightly shorter update this time but I want to get on with it a bit more, ha.
Thank you so much for your lovely reviews, there was one there that got me a bit teary, so thanks!
And who's looking forward to the January episode!? I'm an absolute mess over it to be quite honest, but it's given me some insight into what I'm going to do with this story to a point.
Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU or any of it's characters, however Meredith is mine, nor am I making any profit from this work.
Enjoy and please review!
It was early the next morning when Meredith woke and she spent a moment simply watching the tricks her eyes played on her in the darkness. She felt her mothers arms around her in a protective manner and couldn't bring herself to move and wake her. It was nice to let Amanda feel like a mother for once. Meredith always found herself distancing herself from her, often without even realizing it. Everything was always, 'okay' and, 'fine'. It wasn't like Meredith found her unapproachable, it was just simply easier to keep everything to herself and brush the heartache and sadness off with a smile.
Meredith was deep in thought when she found that she'd forgotten and she swallowed nervously at the unknown events that were to happen today. Eventually Amanda began to stir, and as she woke she gave the teenager a groggy smile, obviously having had a hard time falling asleep the night before.
"I'll be okay." Meredith murmured as a good morning, before she could ask how she was and she was okay, in a minimal way of describing it.
"I know hon." Her mother replied and Meredith gave her a smile in thanks.
Deep down Amanda knew that her daughter wasn't okay under the surface, but she also knew that her daughter would be less okay and more inclined to shut her out should she push her any further.
"What time is it?" Meredith asked after a while, not having brought her phone with her. Amanda reached over and picked up hers to check the time before she replied.
"Uh 7.35."
"Ew." Amanda laughed at the teenagers attitude and sat up, running a hand through her hair. Frannie must have sensed the movement coming from the bedroom as it wasn't long before she scratched the door open and pushed her way inside, leaping up onto the bed which caused both of them to laugh at the dogs antics.
The two stayed in bed for a while longer, enjoying each others company, until Amanda gave her daughter a serious look that Meredith pretended not to see, not wanting to hear what her mother was going to say or ask.
"Liv mentioned maybe talking to a sketch artist today..." She drifted off, keeping the option open and Meredith gave an acknowledging nod.
"I have to describe what they looked like?" Meredith checked, staring at the ceiling as if their pictures would suddenly appear in the paint.
"Yeah, it would help with their investigation." Amanda said in a subtle way of encouraging her.
"I guess, I mean I kind of remember what he looked like so there's no harm, right?" The teenager was one for not wanting to waste other peoples time and always felt bad when she'd let people down in that manner.
"Definitely not. You want breakfast?" Amanda checked and pulled back the covers. Meredith then realized how long it had been since she'd last eaten and gave a quick nod.
"Yes please." She got up herself then and moved into her own bedroom to grab her phone before making her way to the couch and turning the TV on.
She absentmindedly went through her notifications, only focusing when she read a text she had from Jamie and it was a sentence that always made her stomach churn with nerves.
We need to talk x - Jamie
{09.14.2013}
It had been sent the previous day and Meredith didn't have a clue what it was about, but forced herself to reply anyway.
Okay? I'm not sure I know what this is about, so I hope it's not something I should worry about... Are you picking me up for school tomorrow? We can talk in the car I guess? x - Meredith
{09.15.2013}
She typed a quick reply and sent it just as Amanda brought her a mug of steaming coffee over.
"Thanks mom." She said quietly after taking a sip.
"I called Liv and she said to pop in whenever. I have to talk to Cragen to when we're there, so we can go mid morning if you want."
Meredith gave a nod and Amanda was quick to pick up on the quietness of her daughter. Not wanting to upset her, she moved back over to the kitchen to make breakfast.
Staring into the depths of her coffee mug, Meredith flinched as her phone buzzed with an incoming text.
It's nothing, don't stress. Will catch you tomorrow, I'll swing by at 8 to pick you up. x - Jamie
{09.15.2013}
She shook her head at his text with a small, knowing smile. Whatever he wanted to talk to her about must have been more than nothing for him to get so seemingly nervous over. She sent another text back thanking him for the ride as she finished her coffee and then decided to get changed, wanting to get the morning over with as soon as possible.
Picking out a loose button up blouse, and a pair of jeans she pulled them on and was just finishing lacing her boots when Amanda appeared in the door way. Looking up she blinked as she was hit with the remembrance of Friday night, when her mom had stood in the exact spot after she'd told her she was going out. If only she'd stayed at home and watched whatever reality show had been on and laughed at the dramatic acting over takeout. Her mom hardly got so much of an evening off and Meredith had wasted it wandering across town. No wonder Amanda always looked disappointed every time Meredith chose her friends over her mother.
"You need to eat before we go any where, okay?" Amanda told her with a small smile and Meredith shook herself from her thoughts and managed to get out a quick, mumbled reply of,
"Alright."
Standing, she winced at the movement and followed her mother from the room to the breakfast bar, which separated the kitchen from the living area. She suddenly didn't feel so hungry as the guilt filled her chest and she found herself pushing about her cereal with her spoon.
After what seemed an age, Meredith finally finished and moved round to wash her dishes, looking up as Amanda came out of the bathroom where she'd been having a shower.
"I'll just get changed and we'll go, yeah?" Meredith nodded as her mother disappeared into her bedroom and she moved back to wait on the couch.
She was lost in thought once again when Amanda touched her on the shoulder, causing her to jump.
"Sorry hon." Her mother apologized and Meredith shook it off, embarrassed.
"Are we going now?" Meredith asked with a small smile and Amanda nodded.
"Yep." Was all she said before Meredith had pocketed her phone, gotten up and headed toward the door, Amanda close behind her.
xo
The drive to the precinct was quiet, with neither Meredith or Amanda talking. Meredith kept her eyes on the window, and Amanda on the road. They were halfway there when they pulled up at a red light and Meredith switched the radio on. She surfed through a few channels before she settled on one playing a guitar filled country song.
As soon as Amanda had parked, Meredith's hands started shaking and the teenager was quick to wrap her hands around herself protectively, not wanting to let her walls crumble and fall to pieces around her.
They made their way through security and then rode the elevator up in silence, both of them feeling slightly uncomfortable. The doors slid open with a ding and Amanda walked out first, followed by Meredith, who before moving through the squad room door, stood and made herself pull herself together. If she were to do this, there were to be no tears. She was tough, and perhaps even tougher on her expectations of herself.
Fin and Nick were the first to see them as they entered and Meredith noticed they eye contact that was held by her mother and Nick as she approached, she also didn't miss the two small smiles the two detectives gave one another.
Meredith stood behind Amanda quietly, looking at the ground, simply not wanting to receive any more sympathetic smiles.
"Hey Mere, you good?" Fin said in true Fin fashion and Meredith gave a small smile of her own before looking up.
"Just wanna get this over with." She spoke in a way that put an end to any kind of conversation that could have taken place and the older man gave a knowing nod.
"Liv's just filling the sketch artist in now." Fin told the both of them and Meredith chewed on her lip, getting more antsy.
Meredith eventually moved over to sit at Amanda's desk, still refusing to look or acknowledge anyone. That was until Olivia emerged from one of the interviewing rooms and cast a warm smile in her direction. It wasn't one filled with sympathy like the doctors and nurses and everyone else same to gave her, but it was one filled with compassion, one that brought a small smile to her own face. Amanda approached as Liv did and Meredith stood, not wanting to waste a second.
"Mom you don't have to come, I don't need you to hold my hand." Meredith said a lot sharper then she had intended and was about to stammer out an apology, but Amanda was quick to raise her hands in defeat.
"It's okay Mere, I know you're in good hands with Liv. I have a few things to do here anyway, if that's alright with you?" She directed the last question toward the brunette who nodded in reply.
"Of course." Liv beckoned for Meredith to follow her and she did so, with one quick glance back at her mother who gave her and encouraging smile.
xo
As soon as she sat down at the table Meredith felt her nerves diminish and she let herself take a breath before doing anything else. Liv sat next to her and that was when Meredith noticed the red head standing at the coffee pot. She turned then and gave the teenager a smile as she returned to her place at the table, her sketch book in front of her.
"How are you?" Liv asked Meredith and the blonde noticed the way that she didn't ask if she was 'okay' or 'good', like everyone else seemed to.
"I'll live." Despite the open question, Meredith couldn't think of anything else to say, so stuck to the simple truth, as blunt as it seemed.
"Well you made it through the night." She gave her a smile to which Meredith returned with another shrug and the detective directed them back to business.
"This is Erin, one of the best sketch artists we use." She introduced the red head who held out an ink smudged hand for Meredith to shake. The teenager took it gingerly and then focused on what she was being told.
"Meredith, right?" Erin checked and at her nod she continued, "All I need you to do for starters is describe the mans face shape as best as you remember, his jaw line, chin, nose, cheek bones. Then once I have the basic facial features drawn in we can go into further detail, like his eyes and anything individualistic."
Meredith sat in silence for a moment before speaking, "So I guess we're starting with him then?" Erin glanced at Liv who then looked at the teenager, who had since pulled her knees up to her chest protectively. "I remember the boy better, I mean I should, the fact that I fell for his act is the reason this all happened so you'd hope that I would." She gave a small laugh and bit at her lip, avoiding the other women's looks.
Liv then took the teenagers hands in her own and waited for her attention, when she refused to look up, she began to speak in the hopes that some of what she said was heard by Meredith.
"Listen to me Meredith. This was not your fault. The fact that you went with that little boy only shows how caring you truly are, the real intentions of that were not your fault and you had no way of knowing what they were."
There was another shrug from Meredith, "I guess, thanks Liv." She gave her a semi believable smile and then looked toward Erin, a little more confident.
"Let's do this."
Hope you enjoyed, this chapter really flowed so I'm quite happy with it!
Are you guys happy with the pace of how this is going? Like I'm expecting this to end up rather lengthy, but if you guys don't want to reading chapters upon chapters I can probably sum it up a lot quicker then I'd intended.
I will hopefully begin writing a 'prologue' of sorts and I have a few things planned for that, so keep an eye out :)
Please let me know your thoughts/ideas in a review and thanks for reading!
Liv