Imagine my surprised when I found myself at the hospital emergency room only days after my beloved Christian was released.
When we got home, Christian was like a young man, ravishing me like the ravishing ravisher that he once was, not even bothering to remove his trousers.
"Why, Mrs. Grey," Doctor Vinnie Boombatz greeted me, "What an unexpected pleasure."
"The pleasure is all mine," I assured him, offering my hand. "As is my, um, medical condition," I said, putting it as delicately as I could.
"Well, my dear, I'll do my best to help you."
He stood there and waited. As did I, too embarrassed to continue.
"And your 'condition' is?" he asked, wanting to get the show on the road.
"Well, Doctor Boombatz," I said, "when I, um, 'tinkle,' my urine comes out in FOUR streams."
"I beg your pardon?"
"When I tinkle, my urine comes out in FOUR streams."
"I see," Doctor Boombatz said, and then paused, rubbing his chin in consternation. "Well," he said, finally, "how about I take a look?"
Despite my embarrassment, I disrobed, laid back, spread my legs, closed my eyes, and prepared for the worst.
Much as I do with sex.
The doctor buried his head between my thighs, but not in the fun way, and immediately uttered, "Ah, HERE'S the problem. You can put your clothes on, Mrs. Grey. You'll be fine now."
"What did you do, Doctor?"
"I took the trouser button out of your vagina," he said.