Show Me That You're Human

Chapter 10: If You Close Your Eyes

"I want to visit my old friends."

The words were out of Steve's mouth in a rush, before he lost his nerve. He'd spent most of the hour with Doctor Holstein only half there, his mind trying to think up a way to approach wanting to reconnect with the past. With 10 minutes to go, he figured it was crunch time. He sucked in a breath of her sickly sweet perfume while he waited for her to say something.

Holstein stayed quiet a beat longer, her sentence about branching out cut in two. She pushed her black frames back up her nose. It was the kind of silence you could cut with a knife and Steve was setting himself up for a no.

"I assume you mean your Howling Commandos?" She asked finally and he nodded.

"Yes, ma'am. My old friends. I know they're alive, spread out around the countryside… I would… I would like to see them again. Very much." He looked at his hands, feeling much like a schoolboy about to be scolded for asking for seconds.

"Do you think that would help you?"

Steve glanced up at the question. For the first time ever she was asking for his input about his recovery. It stunned him momentarily.

"I do." He nodded. "I need… I need to find out what happened to them, from them. Not through Aurora or Arthur or even Tony." He smiled lightly. "Although they have helped too."

"Ah, so this was Miss Dugan's idea." Holstein nodded slowly, realisation dawning on her face. Apparently the displeasure went both ways, Steve noted that Holstein had a sour look on her face every time he mentioned Aurora.

"No this –"

"All due respect to her, Steve, she doesn't understand PTSD and hasn't been with you from the start." Holstein shook her head. Steve frowned.

"No she hasn't, and that was your fault." He pointed out. "She doesn't have to understand PTSD, hell I barely understand it,"

" - Which is why we've been taking it slowly."

"But I feel like I need to see my friends." He didn't know how to drive the point home to her that this was important to him.

"They're not going to be the same as you remember, Steve." She said softly, sliding her glasses off her face. "They have aged. They've moved on. They mourned for you."

Steve looked down at his hands again, still young and as smooth as they had been 70 years ago.

"They won't be how you remember them being." Her voice was smooth and soft and he wasn't sure if she was antagonizing him or comforting him.

"I know." He said softly. "I just… need to see them."

Of course he knew they'd be old. Rory had shown him photographs of them all and they were pepper-haired and wrinkled. Falsworth even had a cane. It still didn't stop him from feeling like this was what he needed.

"Could you handle it?" She asked, her voice dropping to low, hushed tones. "Seeing Dugan with a grey moustache, moving slower than you'd think possible? Seeing Gabe Jones hobble around, his fingers warped with age… Could you stand to see Peggy Carter, the woman you love so deeply, wrinkled and grey and old?" Her words spun images in his head that broke his heart and he closed his eyes, breathing deep. The faint scent of spun sugar tickled his nose, warming his blood. Her perfume often had that effect on him. If he spent too long in the office with her he felt dazed. It made him feel a little ill.

She was right, he realised. He couldn't face that picture. If it hurt him that much to think about his friends like that, then it would kill him to see it in the flesh.

To see Dugan's skin all weathered, his red hair completely white. Gabe Jones wouldn't be able to play his trumpet with his arthritic hands… Peg, god his beautiful Peg would be wrinkled and old and so very tiny. They wouldn't be the same. He would stand with them, young and healthy and they would be on their last legs.

His chest felt tight and his ears started to ring.

"I see your point." He murmured, flicking his eyes to her. She was watching him sympathetically, her notebook tucked away on the corner of her neat and tidy desk.

"Don't get me wrong, Steve, we will work toward seeing them… I just don't think you're there right now." Her ruby red lips lifted in a smile and all Steve could do was nod. "Your time is up, by the way but if you feel like you need to stay –"

Steve stood without a second thought.

"No. Thank you."

"I'll see you next week."

Her voice floated out to him as he left the room. He shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his new jeans.

He'd been so sure he would be ok to see his friends but now his head was muddled and Doctor Holstein was right. It was too much too soon. Hell, maybe he shouldn't even be talking to Aurora. It was because of her that he'd started thinking about seeing people again…

"Don't be an idiot." He muttered to himself, giving his shoulders a shake. Aurora had been like a breath of life into his otherwise simple existence. He'd been struggling to find his place and she was helping him, encouraging him to make friends and fit in.

He stopped by the coffee hut on the 30th floor and then took a left into the hall that lead to her cubicle, something in his chest telling him he needed to see her.

Heads turned as he walked across the office space, faces popping up and whispers following his back.

"No, don't do it that way, Stark."

"Hey, who's the tech genius around here?"

"Apparently not you if you're going to use that algorithm for this system."

Steve could audibly hear the eye roll and he couldn't even see Aurora yet. He peered over the wall of her cubicle and both found her and Tony hunched over a battered looking laptop. They were slapping each others hands away as they both tried to start typing at the same time.

"Whose system is it anyway?" Tony huffed, throwing himself back in his seat in defeat, eyes narrowed on the back of her head. His eyes found Steve and he grinned. "Captain Tightpants, what brings you down to the lower levels?"

Aurora looked up. "Hey Steve." She chirruped, happy as always to see him.

"Uh, not much, actually." Steve shrugged. He held out the cup of coffee he'd bought for Aurora, watching as she wriggled her fingers and let out a gasp before she took the cup. "I'm wondering the same about you, sorry I didn't get you a coffee."

"It's ok, I've had about a dozen today." He waved a hand. "I'm helping Aurora set up a system to help her with paperwork." Tony said, his voice raised slightly. He gave Steve an exaggerated wink at the same time. Rory elbowed him in the side.

"Knock it off." She muttered. "He's helping me fix my old laptop." She replied, her wink much more subtle that Tony's and Steve got the hint that this was about the hacking to catch Hydra stealing their secrets. "But he's being a pain in the ass about it."

"You're using a Macbook Pro, it's not me being the ass pain I assure you." Tony replied flippantly. Aurora rolled her eyes and looked back up at Steve.

"Thanks for the coffee… What are you doing here?" She queried, her eyebrow raising ever so slightly. Steve rubbed the back of his head, feeling a little dumb.

He didn't know why he was there. He'd just wanted to see her. He could feel Tony's eyes watching him, analysing his silence. He needed to say something fast.

"I was talking with Doctor Holstein about going and visiting some of my old friends and was wondering if you'd help me?" The words tumbled out, much like they had in the psychiatrists office. He hadn't planned on saying them, but it felt good to get them out.

Rory's face bloomed into a grin, a starkly different reaction to Doctor Holsteins'.

"That sounds like a great idea." She agreed with him and Steve loosed a breath he didn't even know he'd been holding. "Who do you want to start with?"

"Dumbest question of the year award goes too…" Tony piped up, his fingers stilling on the keyboard. "Your grandparents, obviously." He rolled his eyes when Rory looked at him.

Steve squirmed. That was something he wasn't sure about.

"Uh I don't… I don't know who actually…" He said, trying to make his brain catch up. "I hadn't thought that far ahead."

"I bet Holstein said this was a bad idea, didn't she?" Rory asked, her amber eyes narrowed and studying him. He shouldn't have been surprised that she hadn't missed a single beat.

"That obvious, huh?" He shoved his hands into his pockets.

"I know how that woman works." She said flatly. She took another long drink of her coffee before she spoke again. "What did you want to do, Steve?"

"I want to see them." He said immediately.

"But?"

"But he's scared that he's young and they're old and things won't be the same." Tony said, this time not even looking away from the keyboard. "I mean, c'mon Roar, you don't have to be a psychiatrist to see that."

Steve's ears reddened and he glanced around, finding eyes on him still. Both he and Tony had attracted quite the audience. He wished they weren't talking about this right in the middle of SHIELD personnel.

"Well, when do you want to do this?" She asked, shooting a look at the side of Tony's head. If Tony noticed, he didn't flinch.

"As soon as possible?" Steve shrugged.

Rory leant back in her chair, crossing one slim leg over the other.

"Well my grandparents have gone to England to visit Uncle Monty for the next couple of weeks and London is a little bit far to just go for a weekend…" She mused. "What about Uncle Gabe? He's only in DC… I'm sure he'd be up for a dinner of some sort?"

Gabe Jones, the youngest of the Howling Commandos. Maybe starting with someone who wouldn't be that old would be better for him. He'd always liked Gabe; the man had been wicked smart and very funny. He'd provided a good tune on a long night on more than one occasion; DC wasn't too far away either.

"That seems less daunting." Steve agreed.

"Great!" Rory's smile widened to a grin, her cheeks dimpling. Steve couldn't help but smile back at her. "I'll give Maggie a call, she could probably put us up for the weekend seeing as how she lives in D.C. Did you want to go this coming weekend? Or the next? Next might work better for Uncle Gabe…" Rory rambled on, pulling her diary closer to her to flick through it.

Steve chuckled.

"Next weekend sounds great." He nodded. "I don't want to bother your sister though. A hotel will do fine." He waved his hand.

"Nonsense. Maggie would be insulted if we went to D.C. and didn't stay with her." Rory shook her head, looking up at him.

"Oh that's real swell. Well I'll have to clear everything with Fury but I think he'll be ok with you coming with me." Steve stuck his hands in his pockets, scuffing the toe of his shoe slightly.

"If he's not I'll just argue with him till he does." She laughed, sitting back in her seat to cradle her coffee in front of her.

"You'd technically be his handler wouldn't you?" Tony asked, raising his eyebrow "Isn't your clearance a little low to be a handler?"

"I wouldn't be his handler, Tony." She said, shaking her head in exasperation. She glanced at Steve, who was looking a little uncertain. "I wouldn't." She assured him quickly. "I'd be coming with you as a friend, taking some holiday leave." She smiled. She looked so sincere that Steve nodded. He trusted her, completely trusted her. She'd done nothing but help him so he had every ounce of faith that that'd be ok.

"You'll probably have to talk to Holstein too…" Steve started but her groan cut him off.

"She'll probably tell me how wrong I am again and I shouldn't be pushing you because you're a delicate little snowflake." Rory rolled her eyes. Steve chuckled. "I'll just let her know it'll be a trip filled with wild parties, hard drugs and lots of sex, ok?"

"Oh, can I come too?" Tony let out a barking laugh.

Steve managed to turn his choke of surprise into one at the last second.

"That'll go down real swell." He shook his head. "We really will need a SHIELD babysitter."

"Ah well, as long as we have fun." She chuckled. "You know I'm not telling SHIELD anything, right? To me this will be an off the record trip."

"Yeah. I know." He nodded with a smile. "I trust you." He added.

"Good." She said, grabbing a pad of paper and a pen. "I'll start organising everything then."

"Thanks. I'll let you two get back to work too." Steve gave her a small salute and stood up straight.

"I'll see you later." She nodded, giving him a wave. "Oh hey, if you see Clint could you tell him I need the paper work asap?" She asked as he turned to walk away.

"Sure thing." He nodded before disappearing from sight, leaving Tony and Rory to work on hacking Tony's own system together.

Rory spent the next week in a frenzy of activity, trying to organise the trip to D.C. Fury had been the first one she'd spoken to on Monday morning. He'd only given her his blessing on the condition that if anything should go wrong it fell on her head.

"I don't know what you think is going to happen, Nick." She replied, rolling her eyes. She leaned back in the chair that sat on the other side of Fury's desk.

"I never know with you, Dugan." Nick shook his head. "At the request of Captain Rogers, I'm calling this a personal trip. Off the record."

"Thanks. He will appreciate that."

"But, anything goes wrong it's on your head." He gave her a sharp look and she sighed.

"Understood." She replied. In all honestly she was getting a little sick of them treating Steve like a toddler who constantly needed a handler. Sure he was a valuable asset but he was also human.

The next person she'd seen was Doctor Holstein, who was less than impressed that she was going with Steve. It didn't surprise Rory. She got the distinct impression from Holstein that she was getting in the way and the Doctor would do anything she could to keep her away from Steve.

"I don't believe this is best for Steve. He's quite attached to you." The doctor's accent grated on Rory's nerves and she rolled her eyes.

"It's called friendship. It's quite a natural and common thing and something that you should be encouraging in him, not treating like a timebomb." Rory pointed out. She hadn't exactly warmed up to Doctor Holstein, not after the woman gave her a bad psych evaluation for both the demotion and the readjustment after the Chitauri Invasion.

Holstein's eyes bore into Rory's head.

"I am not treating him like a timebomb." The woman said in a steely voice. "I just don't think you understand exactly what someone with PTSD is capable of."

Aurora laughed. "Lady, my own brother suffered it pretty damn bad. I know what to expect and how to deal with it. Cutting him off from support networks is not how you deal with it." She shook her head and stood. "Gabe at least is less likely to hurt him. Gabe's the youngest so he won't look as old and Steve didn't have any overly personal ties connected with him, unlike say my grandparents." She explained coolly. "I've thought this through and I wouldn't be encouraging anything for Steve that might hurt him."

Holstein was silent for a long moment, her eyes narrowed on Rory's. The smell of spun sugar was getting to Rory's head, making it swim and she wished she could just leave, but she'd promised Fury she would talk to the psychiatrist and she wasn't about to renege on that and make herself look bad.

"Please program my cell phone number into yours so if anything should go wrong you can contact me." Holstein said finally, and Rory grit her teeth.

"I would probably call Director Fury instead of you." Rory replied, straightening in her seat. "But I'll store it. He'll be fine, I can assure you."

"Steve is under a lot of stress, Agent Dugan. It could trigger his PTSD."

Holstein pulled out a small business card and handed it to her. Rory took it grudgingly, the smell of sweetness stronger than ever.

"Steve will be fine." She smiled sweetly, tucking the card into her boot.

"Just call me, please?" Holstein sighed, shaking her head. Rory had made a casual promise and had left.

After making a few calls to her Uncle Gabe and then to Beth, his Granddaughter, to arrange dinner, the last person Rory spoke to was her sister.

"How'd the date go with Simon?"

"Good, actually." She admitted. It had been good it wasn't a lie. Simon may have been 10 years older than her but he didn't look a day over 28 and he'd been quite funny. Kind, courteous and had insisted on paying for both dinner and their cab home. He was very nice.

"Why do I sense a but?" Maggie groaned and Rory chuckled softly.

"There's no but. The date was good. End of."

"Are you going to see him again?"

Rory thought for a moment. She probably wouldn't. Dating just wasn't on her 'to-do' list right now. He also lived in D.C., which made things a tad difficult.

"Maybe. He lives in D.C. so who knows." She replied flippantly. "Speaking of, I'm coming to D.C. this weekend."

"He's in New York quite often." Maggie tried to sound tantalising. "Wait what? You hate D.C., why are you coming here?"

"I don't hate D.C." Rory said indignantly. "Steve Rogers is visiting Uncle Gabe and I'm going with him."

"Captain America? Is this an agent thing?" Maggie sounded surprised and Rory realised she hadn't quite filled her sister in on being friends with Steve. At least she was dropping the Simon thing at the moment.

"No it's more like a 'I'm helping friend out' thing." She said, doodling on the notepad. She drew stars and stripes and swirls with the tip of her pen.

"Oh? You're actually friends with him?"

She mhm'd. "Yeah, he's really nice and a little bit lost. He knows I know Gabe well and he asked if I'd go with him because he didn't want to go alone." Rory explained as she doodled, smiling lightly at the thought of him wanting her there. "He doesn't like being alone."

"Poor thing. Adjusting must be hard for him."

"He has his moments. He's not so bad. Has PTSD though, like Grant." She lowered her voice, glancing at the desk beside hers. She never knew who was listening to her now. Ever since her co-workers had noticed a steady trickle of Avenger's wandering to her cubicle she'd been the most popular person in the room. Except everyone was too scared to actually talk to her.

"That's tough, even tougher to deal with WWII flash backs in the modern world." Maggie tutted. "When are you coming down?"

"We get in Saturday morning. We're flying. It was easier to fly." Rory glanced at the flight itinerary beside her. "Only there for one night."

"What time?"

"Flight lands at oh-nine-hundred."

"I'll be there. We'll do lunch with Jay. I can't wait to meet Captain America." Maggie was already planning and Rory smiled. She could always count on her sister.

"Perfect. He's really lovely, Mags. Exactly how Grandma used to describe him."

"I was going to ask if he lived up to the legends we've been told."

"He's so much more." Rory told her with a deep sigh. She caught herself, realising she sounded like a dizzy fan girl, like the one's she'd seen interviewed on the news after they'd painted his face on the side of a building.

"Is it weird? I mean you were so in love with him when you were a kid… is it weird to know him now?"

"I was so not in love with him!" Rory's cheeks flushed red as Maggie laughed.

"You had the biggest crush on him! Oh god, you had his poster and the trading cards and everything!"

"Shut up, Maggie!" Rory laughed, shaking her head. "I'm an adult now. No time for silly crushes."

"Is he good looking? He looks gorgeous in that suit… I saw him on the TV… That shoulder-to-waist ratio could kill someone." Maggie hissed and moaned softly, causing Rory to snort loudly.

She glanced around again, lowering her voice. "He's even better in real life." She whispered down the phone. "Wait till you see his shoulders in the flesh. Oh my god."

Maggie chuckled. "I bet. I can't wait to meet him," She said. "I'll see you both Saturday morning then."

"Love you, Mags."

"Love you too."

There was just one more thing they had to do before they left.

"You're getting a suit."

"I don't need a new suit."

"Uncle Gabe is a senator, you're getting a suit." Rory sighed, peering up at the shop signs so she didn't miss the place she was looking for. Behind her Steve dragged his feet with Arthur chuckling along beside him and Sharon sipping some kind of iced drink from Starbucks, watching in silence.

"I have a suit."

Rory stopped in her tracks and turned to Steve. "You need a suit from this decade Steve." She pointed out. Steve set his jaw and peered down at her.

"Gabe won't care if I don't wear a suit," He smiled as he remembered the youngest of his squadron.

Rory's eyes trailed over the plaid button up and khaki slacks and she folded her arms over her chest. "We need to pick you up some clothes from this century too. You dress like Pa."

Steve's mouth shut with a clap and Arthur let out a laugh. Steve silenced him with a glare. "I dress like I always dress."

"Yeah. Like my Grandpa. C'mon Steve, this way. You need a suit." Rory turned on her heel and kept walking. Sharon patted his shoulder sympathetically.

"You should know that Carter women are bossy as all hell." She said softly, smiling at the tall man.

Steve rubbed the back of his head. "I don't remember them being this bad."

"Rory is a Carter woman and the youngest child. The girl gets her way all too often and without ever trying." Arthur said, smiling after the redhead who was triumphantly pointing to a shop.

They went in and Steve trailed behind Rory as she 'helped' him pick out the suit. She'd given him exactly one try, which he failed, before she picked something for him.

"Your girlfriend has good taste." The elderly tailor with wispy grey hair and glasses that over-enlarged his eyes commented as he pinned the suit to fit Steve. Steve glanced at the man and smiled.

"She's not my girlfriend." He corrected before turning to watch Rory search around the store. She and Sharon appeared to be comparing something and Rory was shaking her head, her copper curls falling over her ear.

"Girls like that are hard to find." The tailor nodded, pulling his jacket and pinning where it was needed. "You should snatch her away before someone else does."

Steve cleared his throat, lifting his lip in a half smile before he turned back to examine his reflection. The suit Rory had picked out was great; even he had to admit it. The man had described it as being a peak lapel, single-breasted two-piece suit in slate grey. At the moment he had a white shirt under it but Rory had said she'd wanted another one, in a different colour.

"White is too serious. You look like an agent."

Rory and Sharon walked over then and Rory thrust a light blue shirt under his chin and critically eyed him.

"See, the ice blue doesn't over shadow the slate." She turned to look at Sharon before turning back to Steve.

"It does bring out his eyes." Sharon commented, nodding her head.

"With a steel grey tie to match the suit." Rory agreed.

"Excellent choice, Miss. You have an eye for this." The tailor nodded, taking the shirt from her hand. Rory nodded approvingly and smiled at Steve.

"Was that so hard?" She asked, blinking innocently. Steve just sighed and shook his head.

"No. Thank you for your help."

He couldn't help but smirk when she shot him a sweet smile and turned to examine the cabinet of cufflinks to the right.

"Now you're learning, Rogers." Arthur called from his place on the sofa. "Just smile and agree with her and no one get's hurt."

"I'm sorry." Steve apologised for the millionth time as they disembarked the flight at Ronald Regan National Airport. It had been a rocky flight and Steve, who still wasn't great with flying, had grabbed Rory's hand in a panic, almost breaking her fingers.

He's been apologising since they'd stepped off the craft and Rory was done with it.

"Steve, it's fine. It's not broken." She flexed her fingers again; the slight ache telling her a break had come close.

"I know but I'm –"

"You say sorry one more time, Rogers and I'm going to beat you with my bag." Rory narrowed her eyes playfully. "I swear to god, I'm –"

"RORY!" A voice behind her exclaimed and Rory spun on her heel.

"MAGS!" She grinned and ran toward a tall, slim woman with long brown hair, wide brown eyes and apple cheeks that Steve recognised as similar to Rory's. Maggie Dugan looked a lot more like Peggy than Rory did and a lump appeared in his throat as he watched the sisters embrace.

"Your hair is so long!"

"God you're so skinny, Mags. You're working too hard."

"I've always been skinny, I'm working my regular hours I swear!"

"Are you remembering to eat?" Rory laughed and hugged her sister again. "C'mon, Captain America is looking after the bags and I'd hate for him to grab someone else's by mistake."

"Always in control of the situation." Maggie shook her head and followed her sister. Steve Rogers was everything Maggie had ever imagined and more. He was tall and younger than she'd expected him to look, his smooth skin and angled jaw looking no older than Rory's 26 years of age.

"Steve, I'd like you to meet my sister, Margaret. Mags, this is Steve." Rory smiled at Steve assuringly as she approached. Steve stuck out his hand, a blush forming on his cheeks.

"It's lovely to meet you, ma'am."

Maggie's eyebrows rose in surprised amusement. She took his hand. "Nice to meet you too, Captain. I've heard a lot about you."

Steve could only smile. He saw too much of Peggy in Maggie Dugan. It was a tough shock but he did his best to hide his curios stare. "C'mon Cap, both bags are here." Rory patted his shoulder and he looked down at her.

"Have you ever been to D.C. before Steve?" Maggie asked as they walked toward the car park.

"A very long time ago, Ma'am. I came here with the chorus line, when we were selling war bonds." He explained. Peering around at the modern cars and the updated roads he chuckled. "It's a bit different now though."

"Oh I bet." Maggie nodded. "I hope you enjoy your time here, I miss Boston but it's a nice place to live."

"I miss Boston." Rory echoed with a sigh. "Can't wait for the 4th July holiday."

"What's the 4th July holiday?" Steve asked as he swung the two, small bags into the trunk.

"The family gets together at home and we have a party over the four days. It's a lot of fun, a very long standing tradition." Rory explained with a grin. "You should come this year."

"I uh… I guess?" Steve rubbed the back of his head, wondering if the invitation was a serious thing.

"Tim's definitely home for it, too." Maggie interjected.

"Get out!" Rory exclaimed with excitement. "When'd he find that out?"

"Last week?" Maggies shrugged, starting the engine of her 4 door SUV.

"Asshole hasn't told me anything!" Rory squealed, slamming the door behind her.

"He probably hasn't been able to, he was in the desert up until last night." Maggie started up the engine and they peeled out of the airport car park.

Traffic wasn't bad on the way back to the contemporary penthouse apartment in the heart of Georgetown, D.C. Steve was content to watch the scenery and city go past and listen to the sisters bicker and exchange gossip as they drove. It almost felt completely normal for once.

"You have a lovely home." Steve complimented Maggie as she took them for a tour through her beautiful house. "What is it that your husband does?"

"Oh he's not my husband, just my fiancé." Maggie shook her head as she opened a bedroom door and ushered them inside. "Jay is an architect, he designed the renovations on this place." She smiled.

"It's beautiful." Steve said again. He placed Rory's bag on the bed. "Where am I going?"

"This room." Maggie pushed a door to a small spare room open. It contained a bed, a chest of drawers and a small bay window that looked down on the street below. It was homey. He liked it. "Bathroom's through there, Rory's room on the other side. It's not much but –"

"It's lovely, thank you." Steve placed his bag down on the bed. "Thank you again for having us."

"No trouble at all." Maggie smiled and Steve saw Peggy in her once more. He looked away quickly. "I'll let you two get unpacked." She said softly, as if she knew what he was thinking. He heard her walk away and he let out a soft sigh.

Rory took her bag from his hands and hauled it through the small bathroom into her room. "So what'd you want to do first, Steve? I mean after lunch with Jay and Mags?"

"I wouldn't mind seeing some sights. It's been a long time since I've been here." Steve called back, unzipping his bag. "What time's dinner tonight?"

"Reservation is at 7." She said and he nodded. He had a bit of time to try and relax. He heard her footsteps in the bathroom again and when he turned he found her watching him, leaning against the doorframe.

"You ok?"

"Nervous I guess." He admitted and she nodded empathetically.

"It's going to be great Steve but you don't have to go if you don't want to." She assured him and he shook his head.

"No, I want to go. Don't let me back out." He turned back to his bag. "I just… It's going to make all of this real, you know?" He waved a hand, his back stiffening. "It feels like I was laughing with Gabe just the other day and now…"

Her hand was warm on his arm and he closed his eyes.

"Yeah, it is going to make it real but I think it'll also give you closure." Her voice was soft and soothing and he nodded as he leaned closer to her. He swallowed, hesitating slightly as he wrapped an arm around her. He needed to feel warmth, another heartbeat, a real person. He needed to feel grounded.

"I'll be there the entire time, ok?" She said as she wrapped her arms around his waist, her cheek resting just under the line of his shoulder.

"Thank you." He said softly. He could feel his heart slowing and he let her go.

"C'mon, let's go sigh seeing. I'm also starving." She smiled and like that things were ok again, even just for the moment. He laughed and nodded, watching as she grabbed a light jacket and her purse and dragged him out of the bedroom door.

Author's Note:

Here's chapter 10. Double digits and far from over. I should probably make some kind of Spotify playlist for all the music I put at the end of these chapters. There's usually more than 3 songs but these three are the ones that stand out for me. Anyway, if you like it, comment, review, like whatever. Share it with your friends. Tumblr is my friend.

Thanks again.

Playlist:

Pompeii – Bastille

Something's Gotta Give – All Time Low

Take a Walk – Passion Pit