After the second episode of assault, Yumichika hadn't spoken.
Ikkaku and Kenpachi watched over him around the clock, as they had promised. Ikkaku brought long-since-neglected paperwork inside the hospital with him, so he'd have extra excuses to stay with Yumichika and keep an eye on him. Kenpachi came in when he had free time, and also unofficially/secretly when he didn't, and a lot more when he openly admitted to shirking his duties. He usually stood by the entrance menacingly like a bouncer at a club or rowdy bar.
Neither of them slept. The hours passed quickly, even with endless games of eye spy, twenty questions, and filling out repetitive battle reports. Kenpachi often came in with a squirming Yachiru clutched under his arm, and napped, ignoring the beating of her little fists and her demands that she be let go to play. Zaraki would no longer leave her alone, and kept an iron grip on his devious little sidekick/escape artist.
Ikkaku would talk out loud to pass the time, often looking at Yumichika's now-clear violet eyes. Yumichika had fully regained his sight, and since then, his eyes had not flickered off of Ikkaku once.
Even when Ikkaku would spoon-feed Yumichika water and other liquid food, even when he clumsily read Yumichika's favorite story-books, even when he helped change bloody bandages and clothes, Yumichika's eyes never wavered, hardly even blinking.
Yumichika seemed numb now, like a breathing corpse; he was completely passive, almost like Nemu in a way. He hardly moved anymore if it wasn't necessary. He wouldn't shift his body for hours, and when he would try, he required assistance. The only time he really seemed alive again, was when it seemed like Ikkaku was leaving.
Ikkaku quickly learned to leave the bathroom door open a bit when he washed his face and when he changed his clothes, otherwise Yumichika would turn grey and start to try to get up and follow him.
Ikkaku would converse with Yumichika, but Ayasegawa would not speak or even nod at him in response to questions. Ikkaku would give a little jump each time he looked up, as Yumichika's eyes were looking directly at him, always.
It came to the point that Ikkaku no longer wanted to look up at Yumichika anymore; he didn't want to look up and see that gaze. He didn't want to imagine that it was distrust he saw in the eyes of the person he loved the best.
That was the last thing he wanted to see.
On the third day, Unohana softly knocked on the door and asked Ikkaku to step outside. Yumichika made the first noise he had in days, a little moan mixed in with a whimper as he jerked under the sheets, sitting up slightly.
"I'll be right outside the door, Yumichika... Taichou's coming back any minute, don't worry. Lie down, Yumi."
Yumichika did not lie back down. He sat up fully and made to get out of his bed, ashen faced.
"No, Yumi, no. Lie back down." Ikkaku helped him back into the bed and fluffed his pillows. "Here, I'll even leave the door open."
This seemed to pacify Yumichika, who was twisting the sheets between his hands in anxiety.
Unohana closed the door halfway and explained to him, in great detail, the task he would undertake, in a lowered voice, of course. Ikkaku was, by the end of her lesson, blushing furiously, but he knew that there were no lengths that he wouldn't go to to help Yumichika in his time of need.
'Do I really have to... to do that to Yumichika?'
"We would continue to do it ourselves, but he has already been on too much medication, and he simply won't relax enough for any of us to undertake the task. We had hope that things would be different for you, Madarame-san-seki."
"Ahh... I'll try my best, Unohana-Taichou."
"This is a very important task... Without it, he will become infected horribly."
"I understand... I'll do it," Ikkaku said reluctantly, hoping that Yumichika wouldn't start to cry or panic. He had a sinking feeling that Yumichika wasn't quite sure if he was the fear apparition or the real him.
"Don't sound like that." She smiled. "He has been on a liquid diet, there will be no unpleasant surprises, other than a small chance of infection."
"Ah... That's not what I was worried about, but thank you for the reassurance."
"Very good." She seemed pleased with his civility, which few of the Eleventh division ever showed in her domain. "Good luck to you."
"Oh, Unohana-Taichou, please tell Zaraki-Taichou to please go back to the barracks, if you see him... It might set Yumichika off to have anyone else around him."
"Of course, I will explain the situation." She smiled sweetly and drifted away.
Ikkaku stood there with the box in his hands for a few moments, taking a deep breath, before walking back into the room.
"Aaa... Yumi..." he began awkwardly, walking towards the bed. "You know what we have to do, right?"
Yumichika stared back at him blankly. Ikkaku sighed, putting a hand over his eyes. This was gonna be great.
"I gotta' clean yer'... yer' stitches," he finished quietly. Yumichika looked at him, blinking, eyes flicking down for a split second, eyelashes fluttering.
Ikkaku set the box down on the table next to the bed, before slowly peeling back Yumichika's blankets. "Can you hold your legs up, Yumi?" Yumichika looked at him for a moment, before trying, very slowly, to bend his body, which was very very stiff after days in bed, wracked with pain.
That was rather reassuring to Ikkaku: the fact that Yumichika registered what he was saying and wasn't off in some other world. It was really hard to see Yumichika like this, knowing what a strong and unbreakable person he was.
Yumichika paused, pain overtaking him, before he tried some more to pull his knees in and half sit up. "I thought not... Ahh... Here, I'll put pillows under ya'." Ikkaku grabbed Yumichika's ankle and knee, and straightened his leg, testing his flexibility. Yumichika froze up, scrabbling at Ikkaku's hand, breathing heavily, whining in pain. "Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry, gomen, gomen," Ikkaku panicked, letting go. "Here."
He slid a pillow underneath Yumichika's lower back and helped him sit. He made two pillow piles for Yumichika's legs to rest on and laid him back down on top of them. "There... I'm still gonna have to push your legs up a little, okay?" Yumichika looked at him, tilting his head a little. "Ahh... I'll just start then..."
He slowly removed Yumichika's lower clothing, all the time waiting for tears or terror to overtake his friend, but none came. Yumichika just watched him, body tense. He opened the little first aid kit Unohana had provided him with and set the bundle of cue-tips and towels on the bed.
Ikkaku looked down at his hands, wondering how he could bring himself to do this. "This is okay, right?" he asked, mostly to himself, but Yumichika made a breathy little noise, squirming, trying to push the sheets down over his legs.
He whimpered a little, trying to sit up so he could cover himself, face looking wretched and pinched, that look he had always gotten when he ran out of hair product and 'looked a mess'.
Ikkaku took Yumichika's hand, knowing he was about to say something really sappy. He hoped it at least would help Yumichika's fragile mental state. "You look really beautiful today," he said quietly, looking him in the eye. Yumichika's mouth opened a little, and he blinked, looking at him for a few moments, before he visibly relaxed, sinking down, no longer trying to hide his battered legs.
Ikkaku braced himself and then took Yumichika's legs in hand, opening them up. He arranged the sheets over everything but the area he needed to clean. Yumichika seemed to sink into the bed in relief.
Ikkaku noticed Yumichika's heavy irregular breathing, and patted his stomach in comfort. "It's okay, Yumi... Promise..." He got up, locked the door, and got a cup of water from the bathroom, just in case there was any bleeding.
He hooked one hand under Yumichika's knee and slowly pushed back his leg, adjusting the pillows to hold it there. His hand lingered on Yumichika's soft thigh, looking at the severe bruising, and worse, the real damage, spiked stitches visible even from the outside. "Oh... Yumi..." He leaned down, really taking a look. "That looks so painful..."
He wet a washcloth and dabbed the dried blood off of Yumichika as gently as his rough hands could.
He was not a perverted man. He wasn't. He wasn't embarrassed of the fact that he had never had sex or kissed before, but he didn't tell people anyway, cause it wasn't their business, damnit. Ikkaku Madarame was no pervert, and he never had been. Even with the object of his desire's legs spread in front of his face, he didn't even have to make an effort to control his libido, because he wasn't that kind of person.
This whole scenario was one of the reasons he didn't have sex: he couldn't stand the idea of rape, not after what had happened to his own family. He held it as the greatest crime, the worst thing anyone could do. The thought of someone hurting Yumichika so cruelly and brutally killed any sort of lust that might have developed.
His throat tightened. "Ya' had ta' get yer' stitches again, didn't ya'?" he rasped, blinking away sudden impending moisture. "I'm so sorry, I didn't protect ya' like I promised..."
His fingers tightened on Yumichika's legs. "But I won't make that mistake again. I swear on my bankai... I swear on everything! I won't let it happen again!"
He bravely picked up the little hospital bottle of solution and rubbed it over his bare hands. He didn't bother with gloves. He slicked up a cue-tip, and he slicked up Yumichika's thighs and bottom, pulling the sheet down over everything he didn't need to see.
"Ready?" He brushed the cotton over Yumichika's leg so the bed-ridden shinigami could track its progress before it gently poked inside his opening. Ikkaku kept it still for a few moments, knowing that it wouldn't normally hurt, but Yumichika was probably insanely sore. "Is it okay?"
Yumichika just looked at him. He hadn't tensed suddenly like he was in pain, and he hadn't made a noise or given him a horrified scared look.
Ikkaku shrugged with caution and began the task of cleaning the stitches and applying new gauze to the cauterized flesh. It was slow work, but it wasn't nearly as disgusting as Unohana had thought it would be for him. She had been right, there was only dried blood, and a bit of clear and yellow fluid that came from around the stitches.
He felt that he was doing well. He quickly realized that Yumichika relaxed much more easily if he rubbed his leg with his other hand as he inserted the sterilized cleaning utensils. He paused whenever Yumichika tensed up, and waited, cleaning slowly.
Using a finger to hold his now slack muscles open, Ikkaku drew the blood-stained gauze out with metal forceps. It kept coming, and coming, and coming, longer than his hand, longer than his forearm; His stomach twisted, as finally the long strip came free.
'The damage went that far up? How did that even happen?... No one has a tool that big...' Ikkaku's brow crinkled in anger as he remembered what Hanatarou had said about barbed wire. 'My God... Yumichika... He really tortured you.'
Ikkaku's fingers came away with fresh blood on them. He gasped, snatching his hand back. "You're bleeding! I hurt you!" Ikkaku said in shock.
Yumichika shook his head, looking at Ikkaku. Blood began to dribble down Yumichika's backside and into the sheets. He tried to sit up as Ikkaku began to pace around the room wildly, staring at his wet hands.
"No..." Yumichika croaked. Ikkaku's head snapped up to look him dead in the eyes.
"I did, I did, I hurt you!" Ikkaku's head dropped, and he glued his eyes to the floor. "Why... didn't you say something..."
"I'll be..." Yumichika lay back down. "Keep going... Ikkaku."
Sick to his stomach, Ikkaku obeyed, cleaning Yumichika once more. Somewhere in the back of his mind, it registered that Unohana had assigned him this task because Yumichika couldn't bear to sit still for professionals to do this to him, but for him, Yumichika could. How could he still have such immense trust in him, even after his clone had done this to him?
Ikkaku's squirmed. "Yumichika, I..." He cut off, not knowing what he had wanted to say.
"Thank you... for staying... You've been so kind to me." Yumichika blinked, eyes finally floating away towards the ceiling. "Thank you for being my friend still... Ikkaku."
Ikkaku's heart shattered. Yumichika had thought that he would abandon him because of what happened? He thought he would think him weak and stained and be too disgusted to be around him anymore? The poor thing had thought he would blame him and not want to be his friend anymore?
How could that thought even pass his mind when he was in so much pain? How could he still - even though he had nearly died and had baffled the best medics in the business - not think of himself, but of Ikkaku?
"Ikkaku?" came the timid voice from the bed as Ikkaku rinsed his mouth at the sink.
"Yes?" He washed his hands, peeking out to check on him.
"Would you come lay next to me?" The hesitant question reached him, but he felt as though he must've heard wrong. That couldn't be, though. Yumichika must have finally decided that he was real.
"Hai..."
Ikkaku covered them with the blankets. Neither of them had slept for days. Exhaustion was creeping over both of the men.
"You're safe..." Although it was a silly thing to tell him, and Ikkaku felt silly saying it, Yumichika relaxed considerably, allowing Ikkaku to put a hesitant arm around him.
"I'm here... Sleep, Yumi."