A/N
Wow! I really really didn't expect all these reviews! It's inspired me to continue, and not just because I don't want to let down what few readers I have, but also because I want to. *hugs all of you* You guys are the best! And here's the next chapter, after so long!
I hesitated. It would be nice to go back… yet I wanted to stay, to do all I could to keep Bella from harm. At the same time, I wanted to leave, to go back to the rest of the coven, and to not be able to see Bella with Mike Newton, and Jacob Black….
-EPOV-
I meandered in the woods for a while, torn between two choices. It would be so nice to go back….so easy to just reveal myself… I thought wistfully. But she wouldn't want you back. You left her. She's surely moved on by now. I sighed, frustrated. Alice had said that Laurent and Victoria weren't coming this way. Had she seen them in a vision? I frowned.
I walked through the freshly fallen snow at a slow pace, leaving footprints behind me but not really caring. I struggled with another pair of decisions: To stay or not to stay? I was very reluctant to leave Bella now, after I'd seen her again. It would be like breaking up with her and leaving all over again. Maybe even worse. But I didn't exactly want to go back to the others yet either. I felt strangely distant from them. I finally decided to stay here for a while longer, just to make sure Alice's vision was correct ( as if any of her visions had ever been wrong.) Maybe I was just making an excuse to stay with Bella for just a little while longer…
-BPOV-
After Jacob's Christmas Eve visit, he started coming over from La Push more often. To my astonishment, I found myself laughing again, and the pain in my chest that always seemed to be present began to dull. Occasionally I went to his house in La Push, and we sat in his shed and talked, sometimes for hours. Both Billy and Charlie made no objections, and Charlie seemed much happier too.
But I still wasn't better. I still woke up with nightmares sometimes, screaming into my pillow. I still distanced myself from most of my friends. But it was a start.
January turned into February and it seemed to be warmer, though there was still plenty of snow on the ground. One morning I woke up earlier than usual, and, not able to go back to sleep, I sat at the computer and switched it on. I hadn't written to Alice in awhile…
Dear Alice,
Things are a little better here. I'm busier than I was before, which seems to be doing me good. Maybe it was a bad idea to mope around ( as Charlie puts it) all those months. Maybe I could've prevented all the pain before.
I've been over at La Push often nowadays, with Billy's son Jacob. We're working on his old car, and trying to find parts for it. The other day, we went to Hoquiam, where we went to an auto parts store. We were also looking at parts for a pair of motorcycles I got. We're fixing them up, and Jake is confident he can get them running.
I still have pain, though. Being around Jacob, and sometimes even Angela helps, but it can't stop the nightmares.
Anyway, I need to stop here…nearly time to get ready for another dreaded day at school…
Groaning, I hit send and stood up, stretching. I grabbed my bag and dragged my feet off to the bathroom.
-EPOV-
I sat under a bare, frozen, frost covered tree in silence, listening for Bella's truck gloomily. She was off visiting that Jacob Black- again. I knew it was selfish to feel so jealous, but I couldn't help it. It was starting to get dark, and an owl hooted softly somewhere in the trees behind me.
I did notice something different, though. Bella seemed…happier. I'd even heard her laughing a few times, when she and Black were inside the house. Part of me was joyful, happy that Bella was happy. But another part of me was in a rage, angry that it should be so easy for this Jacob Black to make her happy, when all I had caused her was sadness. The reasonable part of me said that it had only lasted a couple weeks, and that Bella had gotten over it. The jealous part disagreed. I sighed heavily and got up. No use waiting for her to get back.
I pulled my hood up so nobody would recognize me if I was seen, and walked briskly through the trees, reaching the sidewalk after a minute or so. I walked down the pavement glumly, hands in my pockets. I heard Bella's truck in the distance, and pulled my hood farther over my face. It was now dark, and the night sky was clear and full of stars.
Her ancient red truck came thundering down the road, and I could see Bella's fragile form in the driver's seat, clutching the wheel and driving slow over the slippery ice covering the street. I ducked my head and quickened my pace as she drove past. She didn't even seem to notice me.
A/N Also, I'm going to going back to the previous chapters and editing a bit. I've spotted some glaring mistakes..xD. Thanks again for all the reviews, faves, and alerts! I'll be updating Change sometime soon, too, but I'd rather try and stick to one story for a little while so I don't start confusing the two xD But after I start getting used to this again I'll update Change :)