`Disclaimer: Spike, Buffy, not mine, but oh how much happier they could be if they were. Just, er, apparently, not in this fic. Yet.
Spoilers – Vague ref to Restless.
'Note: Thankyou all for the encouraging feedback – it means so much! And if you haven't yet, please do…c'mon, its like 10 seconds of your life, in return for (hopefully) being thoroughly riveted by this fic that I've spent long arduous hours on :-).
Hey, no flames re: my use of Doc 'kay? If he did realise he's talking to the slayer, there's no saying that Glory would care..after all, she could pretty much kill her any time she liked.
Oh, and I'm back. Told you I would be.
"A pity beyond all telling is hid in the heart of love."
-w.b.yeats
He couldn't stay human. He knew it immediately, certainly, instinctively.
What was worse was that, meeting Doc's damned calm gaze, Spike knew that he'd always known that this was a temporary gig.
Even as the tension came to fill the air, as the slayer at his side looked between the two of them in incomprehension, he felt the sad little smile of foolishness coming to his face. Of course this wouldn't last. Some things would always be too good to be true.
It had been a spell that went awry – a spell that was unstable to begin with. It hadn't been meant for them.
Sure, usually the universe had no problem bestowing death- and a resident demon- onto a human. People were turned every day, and had been for all time. But Buffy had not fought the good fight and lost, finally giving in to the fate of many Slayers before her…this had been a mistake. Not just 'unfair' or 'unjust' as the death of a Slayer always would seem…but actually wrong.
They'd felt wrong since it happened. Oh, they'd told themselves that it was the physical change they'd been through – the shock of suddenly finding oneself in a different body. But Spike knew the truth now…hell, he'd known it the minute he'd held that medallion in his hand and felt the innate unholiness of it…
This was not meant to be.
Balance had to be regained.
"Spike?" Buffy's voice came to his ears. The ex-Slayer, still with her game-face on was looking between the two men, sensing an acceptance on Spike's side , but at a complete loss as to why.
"Spike, what are you talking about? "
Her eyes darted angrily back and forth.
"Will somebody please tell me what is going on?!"
That smile on Spike's face, so sad…so…Oh god. She'd seen that before. When their dance at the Bronze had come to an end, when she'd had to go…as she'd heard his voice utter a choking understanding, she had glanced up for a second, and she had seen that smile. That sad smile..
She didn't know where such a terror came from- such a fear of his losing his humanity – but it struck her like a physical blow. To condemn him to living like this for eternity, trapped in a body that was but a shadow in the world – trapped with a demon…even if he still was that demon….she didn't exactly understand who he was anymore, but she knew that the hunger , the feed was gone now. He was free. To inflict what she was feeling now onto him again…such a dark, empty kind of torture. He didn't deserve it. Not Spike. Not any more.
Her eyes wide she suddenly turned to Doc with a terrible vengeance in her amber eyes, her fists clenched at her sides.
"Say it's not true. " She growled. "Say he can stay human."
"Buffy…" Spike said softly at her side.
"No!" she yelled, ignoring his pull on her arm. She never left Doc's gaze.
"What's the universe going to do about it huh? What's going to happen if he stays like that?" The menace, the bitterness in her voice was cutting.
"What the hell is the harm in him staying alive?"
You could tear his throat out right now.
The thought came unbidden, to the forefront of her mind, actually making her fists clench tighter, her stance change perceptively, poised for attack. She would have liked to have said it was purely the demon's influence. She would have like to….
Seeing her rising anger Spike could not help but be moved, but there were two things that took priority to looking for signs of love right now: firstly, he was getting the feeling that Doc might not be one of those bad guys it was a bad idea to piss off. Secondly, he couldn't allow Buffy to get the taste of the hunt again. Not now, with a possible salvation in sight. A sudden thought, and he was reaching out to grab one of her hands so tight that she spun around and unclenched her fingers in a reflex action. It took a second for the rage to dim from her eyes a little, and for her to comprehend his action.
She was still holding the vial – the one thing that could save her – in her palm. She'd nearly crushed it in her rage. A lump on her throat at the thought of what she'd nearly done, and Spike was tentatively taking the vial from her, and placing it into the inner pocket of his duster with an unsteady exhale. Even while the anger still raged inside of her, she could not but help give an involuntary look of unspoken gratitude.
"Little girl."
Doc's voice sang out, like something from a kid's twisted nightmare.
Vampire and human both turned back warily, to the creature who's eyes were yet again unblinking, and all black, like the deepest inky darkness of night.
"She doesn't understand the balance." Doc said lightly. "Dark magicks were meddled with, forbidden powers tapped…oh, it might not have been your fault, but I tell you what little one-" he leaned in close, "You profit from this violation of natural law and the law will punish you in ways you cannot even begin to conceive."
The slayer had been staring back at him defiantly, used to such vague, ambiguous threats. But there was something in his tone then, something in that steady gaze, in the shadows of that trashy apartment suddenly much deeper and darker, that sent a familiar chill down her spine. Not knowing why, a vision of the first slayer appeared in her head, lurking, unseen in the shadows, silently hunting with a knife of bone, disturbed , restless…
"Let's go."
Spike's command was wary, steady, the grip on her arm gentle, guiding, and restraining.
They backed up a couple of steps in silence, before turning to leave. She felt Doc's eyes at her back, and the cool hard glass of the vial in her hand that would end this nightmare.
For her at least.
TBCOkay, Buffy has a vial of life-giving blood : I have my feedback. Are we getting how important it is to me now?Review!!(but no speculations on what's gonna happen nxt please.)
Continued *soon*.