A/N: Oh, balls. Whelp, I guess there's more than just one chapter left after all. I THOUGHT this was on its way to a close, but by this point who knows, haha. I suppose stories like to take off in their own direction, sometimes. As a side note, thanks for all the reviews/follows and the like, while I may not reply to ALL of them, they don't go unappreciated and they do help. :3
Piers didn't show up the next day.
Still didn't after two more.
That was when the worry settled in, and on the fourth, Chris drove by his household on his way to work. He'd stopped the car just outside with eyes that scanned the windows, temptation thick in his veins. He'd considered it; walking up the small trail to knock at the door, but if words had not been enough to convince the sniper the last time, he was sure they wouldn't be any more helpful right then either.
So, his foot lifted off the breaks and he kept driving. With great reluctance.
Things were... Strange, during hours. Chris had a gaping hole in his side at the absence, and no one to blame but himself for it. He could have easily been harder on Alpha; lengthened their drills, pushed and pushed. He might have if it was still anger flowing through the current of blood in his veins, and not emptiness. But instead he'd taken the opposite turn; grew more distant, less observant of progress. His own tasks were faltering, but no one dared to call him out on it. Paperwork stacked, unattended, no barbed-tongue soldier to drill him out for it.
It hardly helped that the rest of Alpha planned to bring him in on their little boy's night out, later. Normally, he'd be glad to get out - spend time with familiar faces, with family. But things were more broken now, as the mirror had lost a shard.
The idea of drinking when that was the source of all his problems had lost its attraction long ago, and it was currently no where near being written on any to-do list of his. Still... It had been rather difficult to find himself saying no to the pleading, doe-eyes of his demolitions expert. Finn undoubtedly felt more comfortable going to such occasions with the Captain in tow.
He had to wonder, then; would it hurt, really, if he went just to go? If he could restrain himself from the temptation of a drink. If he could manage watching his men have their fun getting wasted, while he sat on the sidelines feeling miserable.
Chris had only gotten half way through the thought process before he realized he'd said yes. It lightened his heart just a little to see the spreading smile on the other, and for a moment he thought that maybe, just maybe, things wouldn't have to be so bad. Perhaps going out with the group was everything he needed.
Which is exactly why mere hours later, he found himself seated at a table with the rest of the unit, all BDUs stashed away and replaced with relaxed, off hour clothes. If the members of Alpha were anything, they were known for being loud and rather wild - especially in the case of one Andy Walker, who insisted on taking drinking bets with his fellow agents.
It wasn't until after they'd chugged down four, possibly five drinks, that Chris had found himself eyeing the bottle when they poured themselves more. He predicted such would happen, that he'd be walking such a slim line over a bottomless pit. His mind had shifted elsewhere - away from the laughing masses around him, the wild howls for more more more. Part of him wanted to be among them, but a larger part knew better. It hadn't been the same.
He was stirred from his thoughts only when Finn had started to cough and sputter, his body not taking kindly to some of the alcohol the others had convinced him into downing. Chris shot from his seat to move behind the kid who, by legal standards, probably shouldn't even be allowed into the damn bar to begin with, clutching at his shoulders so he didn't drop from the chair. "Damn it, Andy, you'll drown him like that!"
Being the inconsiderate asshole he was, Andy snorted, "He shouldn't fucking be here if he can't hold his own!" Which earned him a hard glare from Chris that had him straightening in his seat.
"I'm - I'm okay, sir." Finn insisted beneath the Captain, possibly true given that he seemed like he collected himself for the most part, no longer coughing from the effects of the drink; though it was more than likely that he was still just trying hard to fit in. Chris gave his shoulders a light squeeze and a soft pat before pulling off.
A voice cut in from the side, "Doesn't look like it, rookie."
It was enough for Chris to recognize the sound and perk up, brown orbs seeking out the owner. Andy seemed curious in his he-thinks-he-should-know-everything way, and Finn had become a lovely shade of red, now shifting in his seat with frantically darting eyes, looking as though he'd rather be anywhere else. After what he'd walked in on some time ago, he couldn't be blamed. He was more aware of... Certain events than the rest of the unit, but luckily hadn't been pressured into exposing what he'd seen to anyone other than Chris.
"Captain," Piers greeted with a rough edge to his voice, "Drinking again, already?"
Chris circled back around to reclaim his seat, and there was the tiniest flicker of pride stirring inside when he answered, "Not a drop, Piers." The reward for his statement had been the slightest twitch at the corner of plump lips, so brief that blinking once would have made him miss it. He'd begun to question if it had ever been there, until the ace grabbed a chair from an empty table nearby and joined them, very much to his surprise. Though the fact that Piers had even approached for that matter in itself was enough to give a shock to his system - the ace was certainly hard to understand at times.
The conversations continued back on track around them, but all Chris had focus on was the sniper that watched him from the corner of an eye. A few times their gazes met, and he wondered if his resilience was being tested. But brown eyes would always hold firm, until it was hazel that shifted.
"So, where the hell have you been, Nivans?" Chris nearly missed the comment, catching onto the mention of Piers and letting his mind translate what he'd originally heard as gibberish. It looked like Andy was prepared to start his shit again.
Piers, always the one to keep his personal life folded away, answered with a simple, "Busy."
Andy snorted, "Like hell. You ain't got a life outside the job." He quickly downed a shot, how many that made none of them were sure, and eyed the sniper with squinted eyes. "Which ties into the fact that you've never taken any prior leave. What gives?"
Bow-shaped lips pouted further into a frown, "Shit that doesn't concern you," That well known barbed tongue lashed out again, and Chris felt his lips twitch at the bickering he'd have usually broken up. It made things seem almost... Normal, even when they were anything but.
"Oho," Andy leaned forward in his seat, "That just makes the details even more juicy. Never heard of sharing the goods, have you?"
Sharp eyes stared down the other man, "Pour yourself another shot if it'll shut you up."
"I thought you were Mister 'see all, hear all'. Drinking doesn't make me quiet," Walker threw back yet another drink as though to prove a point, "It just spices up all the fun and turns the party into a goddamn parade of tossed out rules and broken hymens." He lifted a finger, motioned with it towards the still healing bruises and swelling around the sniper's eye. "Finally bite off more than those oversized lips of yours can chew? Fuck somebody's babe when your rifle was outta reach? You look like shit-"
Piers pushed himself out of his seat, fully prepared to act more on hot-headed instinct until an enclosed fist slammed down against the table and drew the attention of the unit as well as any strangers nearby. "That's enough, Walker." Firm, threatening, three words directly from the Captain. Chris surmised he should have stepped in sooner, though Piers hardly needed his help. But, like hell he'd let any of his men make a scene by brawling in some damn bar.
Silence flooded the table, and any onlookers began to slowly return to their own conversations. Andy had a hell of a mouth on him and didn't know when to shut it closed, but the look Chris pinned him with had been more than enough to stifle his dirty trap.
The Captain pushed up from his seat, letting it screech across the floor. "Piers, with me." He headed for the door, leaving no room for questions. It was about time they talked more directly, if Piers had been willing to approach, perhaps his previous feelings on the matter had dwindled from reach. Chris wasn't going to pass up the opportunity.
Piers eyed Walker for several drawn out moments longer before tailing after the older man like the good little soldier he was. He heard another snort resound from the table on his way out, even caught the beginning of a conversation about him, but despite his desire to he didn't turn back. Not with his Captain in wait.
"You've been gone a while," Chris stated the obvious as Piers positioned himself by his side, now under the soft glow of moonlight. Meaty hands dug around in the fabric of his coat, scrambling around for the box of cigarettes he always kept on him. The Captain lit one up, and brown eyes lifted to the sky. Black, with faint shades of blue and sparkling stars that twinkled their silent song to the universe. "The swelling's gone down. Bruises look a lot better." He puffed out a wave of smoke and turned toward the ace. "This where you've been hiding?"
"Sometimes," Came the single word reply, and the ace seemed to try a little too hard to keep his gaze anywhere but on Chris. "See that alley behind you?"
Chris furrowed his brow and turned at the question, brown eyes directed down the darkened strip, "Yeah?"
"It happened there." Piers admitted as a brush of cool air skittered along his cheeks, tousling through his hair ever so slightly.
The Captain's attention snapped back to the ace at that, "What happened, Piers?" The sniper had only ever allowed him to guess, and his mind had hardly been any good at filling the blanks.
"Everything," The sniper breathed as though it was some secret answer to all their problems. In some small way, perhaps it was.
Chris appeared even more mind boggled, now. "I don't follow."
Piers hesitated a moment, thoughtful. Although his features were often stoic and unreadable, Chris got the impression that he was debating over something. The Captain almost wondered if it would be better to divert the conversation to something on a lighter note, but he didn't think he had the will power to just let everything go. Not with Piers looking the way he was... Distant. Vulnerable, almost. Cautious, as though he was walking bare foot on heated coal or broken glass.
The sniper turned then, mind made up. "Let me show you something." He motioned for the older man to follow as he slipped down the alley, leaving a still confused Chris to follow after. The Captain discarded his cigarette to the ground, stomping it out with a heel before he chased down the ace.
"Gonna tell me where we're going...?"
"Not far."
Chris frowned at that, but didn't stop until Piers had. "Piers, what are-" The sniper spun on him then with a suddenness that cut him off as two hands shoved up against raw muscle and pushed with all the weight they could muster, knocking Chris into the nearest wall. Meaty hands rose on instinct, clutching the wrists of those that had pressed to him, "The hell is-"
"This, Chris," Piers cut through his words with a volley of his own, "Is what happened. The last time we talked, you wanted to know. This is..." The ace seemed to choke on the words, lips fumbling to spill them out only to shape into gibberish at the absence of sound. Hazel eyes darted over older features, along the wall behind Chris, down at his clothes - everywhere all at once in a frenzy like a trapped madman. Chris traced a thumb over the wrist of one of the hands at his chest, an attempt to soothe the answer out of Piers upon the realization that the younger man held no further desire for violence. Their gazes reconnected, and Chris saw the small bob of the ace's Adam's apple as he swallowed hard.
"This is where we were when he tried to fuck me." Olive skin shifted, leaving a deep scowl marked over younger features as the memory replayed in mind.
Chris frowned at that, even more overwhelmed now than he had been all damn night. "Who? Piers, I don't-"
"Never got a name. It wasn't important." The hands against Chris curled up, gathering fistfuls of his jacket. "He was supposed to be a replacement. Fuck, Chris, I only let him touch me because I wanted it to be you." Needy, desperate lips were thrown over his own, and for a moment Chris found himself opening up to them until the situation sunk in. He pushed, flipping them around and reversing their roles so Piers was tight to the wall as their mouths parted.
Brown bore into hazel, and Chris saw something there he never had before. But he remembered the pain - the bruises and beatings, and his mind just couldn't accept that. "You let him do this to you? Piers, what the hell?" It had been bad enough remember all the things Piers had allowed him to do... But a stranger, now? At the very least, even as his own actions were brutal and bestial in nature, Chris hadn't come anywhere near beating him to a bloody pulp! He remembered the bruise, remembered the ace being shaken up and elusive, but not to the degree Chris had found him in those several days back.
"No, Chris," The ace shook his head, putting a halt to such thoughts with his fingers still clinging to the older man's jacket. "I couldn't do it. I couldn't finish what I started, and that's why this happened." He had four days to think of everything, and in the end even his own stubborn mind caved into the truth. Things had already been fucked up between the two of them, he doubted he could cause any further damage. "I was wasted, and he took advantage of that... But he didn't win."
Chris eyed him with a furrowed brow, taking in the new information. "He tried to force you-"
"It was still my fault," Piers cut in again for what must have been the fourth time, and the Captain's lips fell into a firm line trying to understand everything as the ace continued, "Everything was." Hot damn did it put a good crack into his pride. Piers made a career out of striving to be best at all he could - better, better, always better and now it was so clear that wasn't true.
Chris adjusted his hands, moving them to the sniper's shoulders and squeezing tight, "Not us," He shook his head, brown orbs wide and willing the ace to understand the words. "That's on me. But the man you were talking about - does he still come here? I can find him. I can-" Piers gave a tug at his coat, and the words died off.
"He's gone," The ace assured, "Got a few good hits in, you've seen that much. But even drunk off my feet, I'm not helpless, Chris."
It was true, and Chris already knew that. He even said as much, "I know... But after what he did," There was a pause as his gaze flicked along olive flesh, eyeing the gradually healing damage from a much closer angle now that they were inches away from one another. "I just want to do something, Piers. You're one of my men, you're-" A good soldier? A good person? No, he was more than that. Especially to Chris, who was only now on his way to discovering just how much more. "Special," The Captain settled for, and he could have sworn he saw a sparkle in familiar hazel oculars.
"Forget it, Chris," Piers still clung to him like a lifeline, perhaps in many ways that's what Chris was to him. Something to keep him going. Something to keep him holding tight. He'd always been fine on his own before, but after spending all that time with the S.O.U. he didn't think he could go back. Not after meeting Chris, not after... Everything. "I had a lot of time to think. I wasn't sure about saying anything when I saw you, but... I think you deserved to know."
Chris wasn't buying it, not fully. "Why, Piers? There has to be more to it than that."
Piers sighed, despite the stoic nature of his features, he still appeared rather uncomfortable having to confess so damn much. "Because I'm tired of running, Chris. I'm tired of playing around with secrets. The truth can't hurt us anymore than I already have." The ace admitted, realizing his mistakes. "When all of this first happened... It wasn't some sick enjoyment that kept me from telling the truth. It was you, Chris. It was just you, and I didn't want to lose that."
Chris blinked at that, eyebrows lifting in surprise as his next inhale came in sharply. "Then why'd you stay away for so long?"
Hazel averted, and Piers finally dropped his hands. "I wasn't sure you... I didn't know what you'd want. I still don't." His gaze lowered, slinking away from the older man.
The Captain released his own hold, thick digits rushing to mingle with nimble ones now that they were free. Piers stiffened a bit, and hazel immediately rose right back to brown. "I want us to get our shit together, Piers. We can't keep dancing around this."
"Then what do we do?" Piers never looked so uncertain in his life.
"We move on from this," Chris replied simply, making the sniper's brow furrow.
"Exactly how do we do that? How can we just forget all this?"
Chris took a step back, but didn't let go of the hands circled in his, "We don't. We replace the memory and move on."
"Replace?" Piers frowned.
The Captain nodded, offering the slightest curve to his lips. "C'mon. I'll show you." He released one hand and pulled at the other, gently tugging Piers along with him.
The ace eyed the older man suspiciously when he was led to his vehicle, "What about the rest of Alpha?"
Chris finally allowed their hands to part to open the passenger door, and his palm never felt so empty in his life. "They can call in another ride, or grab a taxi." Piers shuffled into the seat, unsure, leaving Chris to close the door for him and saunter around to his side. He climbed in and slipped the belt over his shoulder, then within a matter of moments the engine was roaring to life.
"Where are we going?" Piers asked at last as they pulled into the street.
He hadn't been expecting the reply that followed, "Back to base."
Piers sat up, back straighter than Chris had ever seen him, "What? Why would we-"
"Just trust me, Piers." The older man offered a quick glance away from the road and toward the sniper. There was a click as Piers' jaw snapped shut, plump lips pressing into each other as he resigned himself to a short nod and a soft, "Okay." Even though he already did.