Chapter 10 – Moonlight Sonata
No, I did not feel guilty for what I had said to Jacob. It was nothing but truth and he needed to hear it. But Isabella was in no position to agree with me.
I couldn't complete my meal as I continued to think of her and how rough I had been with her situation. The pig in my hand was starting to grow cold after I had let it sit. I stared at the puncture marks on its fat neck and wondered how I was to speak to Bella. That is, if she wasn't cross with me.
"If you're not going to drink that pig, I'd be more than happy to," Emmett claimed, staring at the blood dripping from the poor sow.
"Help yourself," I answered, throwing the pig to him. He caught it and turned it around so that it was on its head. He bit into it's haunches and sucked what he could out of it.
"Leaving so soon?" Carlisle asked while he dried his mouth.
"I apologize," I said, giving a short bow. "I have things to attend to."
"Don't be gone long," Esme warned. "It does you harm to be seen out and about on the ship at this time of night."
I nodded and showed myself out of the live stock holding cell. After climbing the stairs, I headed to the main stairwell that was near the eating room. To spot her, I sniffed the air for a familiar flowery scent.
It was coming from outside.
Slowly, I snuck out the front doors to find Bella. She was standing by the railing, looking up at the stars. Jacob was right next to her. They seemed to be talking to one another. To hear in on what they were talking about, I lay on one of the lounging chairs and tipped my top hat over my face to appear asleep.
"I just can't understand it," Jacob said.
"Neither can I," Bella explained. "There's just... something about him."
"But it's not fair. The whole meaning of relationship is sticking through, even when distractions appear."
"But Jacob, Edward has helped me see what is missing. He's here all the time. And you are not-"
"Wasn't it you that once said you'd wait for me?"
"That was a long time ago, Jacob. I didn't think I'd have to wait this long."
"Then what do I have to do, Bells? You want me to jump off the god-forsaken boat?"
"No... I just-"
"Bella, you told me before that you were done with me. And now you're calling me back. What do you want?"
Bella remained quiet and Jacob was panicking. It wasn't long before he gave up...
"... Just... let me know when you figure it out. But don't come crying to me when Edward breaks your heart."
Just before he could go back inside the ship, he turned around for one more word.
"He's not real, you know. He's not."
And with that, Jacob left the scene. To my amazement, he was holding in his anger quite well, compared to a few nights before. Perhaps he had realized how much of a danger he was to her, now that she knew his secret.
Surprisingly, Jacob failed to notice me laying here. Either that, or he was simply too exhausted to deal with my presence. When I could no longer smell his nauseating scent, I made my way to Bella's side.
"Edward," Bella said, shocked to see me there.
"Had a nice talk with him?" I asked curiously.
"... I told him how I felt... But he refuses to believe a word I've said."
"Funny... usually denial comes before anger."
"I'm not dying, if that's what you mean."
"More or less, it's similar."
Bella looked up at the sky again and sighed sadly. Having been fed earlier, I allowed myself to get closer to her. She lay her head on my shoulder. Feeling shaken from Jacob's words, I inquired her.
"Bella... how are you so sure of our relationship? You have known Jacob much longer than I..."
"I know it because I feel it."
"But even feelings can lead us astray..."
"Perhaps I just want to get lost in a moment."
I looked at Bella curiously, not sure whether or not I understood her. But something told me I was about to. I felt a sense of loss.
"Jacob... never gave that to me," she claimed.
"Bella..."
"I'm sorry."
I turned away, seeing her for what she really wanted.
"I'm just a diversion. An affair."
She ducked her head in shame. My eyes reddened with anger, but I refused to lose control.
"I suppose I saw this coming, seeing as how we have only known each other for a little while," I said calmly. "No one can fall in love in such a short time."
My words stung in my mouth, but I couldn't understand it. Why was I so distraught?
"You're not a diversion..." Bella told me. "I truly am fed up with Jacob... but I can't completely let him go."
"Sooner or later you'll have to decide," I said sternly. "I won't want to fight him forever."
Two tears fell from her eyes. She gazed up at me, worried and confused. I took her hand.
"You need to rest. I will speak with you tomorrow."
Right when I turned around, I felt her warm body clutch me from behind.
"I don't want to be alone tonight..." she cried. "I feel so lost in it all..."
"What do you want me to do?"
"Help me decide... You would know better than I."
I knew then the mess I had gotten myself into. I sighed and turned her around. Even now she resorted to asking for my help.
"Only you know that answer."
Bella looked me in the eyes for a long while, and I forgot to pretend to breathe. Her aura was intense and pulling me in like it had before. It was then I knew why I had upset myself.
I wasn't in love with her. But I was attracted to her like no other being on Earth. I wanted to keep her as my own. Keep her away from curious eyes.
I wanted to claim her as my very own.
It wasn't love. It was a territorial display.
"Bella..." I said, putting my hands on her shoulders. "I believe I must tell you something hurtful."
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"I do not love you. I don't know if you ever believed that, but my feelings for you are not so complicated. Surely, I am drawn to you. I wouldn't have told you about myself if I wasn't. But we can not get carried away... As much as I despise to agree with your fiance, he is correct."
"So... you can not console me tonight... after all that has happened?"
"... I can. But are you ready for the consequences?"
"I have nothing to lose except you. If we were to... fall in love, would you stay?"
"You're asking if I could build a bond with you?"
"It's not impossible is it?"
I looked away and thought.
"No, it isn't. I can see it happen. But I can not promise anything to you as Jacob has."
She nodded silently and wiped her eyes. I could admit, I felt sorry for her. All this tension between she and Jacob has left her feeling lonely and unloved. From what I could remember from my human days, that was a miserable feeling.
"If you feel it necessary... I could stay with you for the night. But I ask that we not be seen by either my family or Jacob until we sort things out."
"Of course," Bella whispered. I smiled softly and took her by the hand. I knew just the place to stay for the night. No one ever came down there, since nothing could be stowed away without it being extremely noticeable.
"Where are we going?" Bella asked as I dragged her along.
"To the end corridors of the ship, where we keep the cars. No one will find us there."
"What are we going to sleep on."
"This."
I proudly pointed at a shiny black car with red velvet seating on the inside. It belonged to an old neighbor of ours who had recently passed away. It would have been a pity to part with, so we kept it in his honor.
"If you don't mind of course," I added.
Bella scoffed.
"Is there enough room for you and I?" she asked, incredulously.
"You must be forgetting that vampires don't need sleep."
She looked at the car once more, but then made up her mind. She allowed herself in and lay on the back seat. I sat in the passenger seat up front and turned around to watch her.
"Thank you," she said softly. "I wouldn't be able to sleep otherwise."
I waved my hand in dismissal and smiled. She frowned for a moment.
"Are you just going to watch until morning?"
"Do you object to me doing so?" I said, smirking.
She chuckled and blood rushed to her face.
"No... not at all."
Yup, I know... It's been a long time since the last update. And yes, I am sorry for that. I have many reasons as to why it is so. But anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. :)
I do have something I would like to say though. Earlier, I had said I am not abandoning the story. This is still true. However, I had also said that once I start a story, I finish it; this is not altogether true. I'm kinda wishing I didn't say that . A little while ago I had to let a few of my stories go, due to poor planning and rushing the story. Unfortunately, it happens and I'm far from perfect at planning. But like everyone else on this site, I am using this site as practice for when I do start writing my own book. By then, I will want to have the skills to stick to it till the end. So yes, I will finish this story. But no, I do not save every story I start. Just wanted to clear that up.
Anyway, thanks for reading thus far, and I'll talk to you again the next time I update. - Dragondustbubblez