A/N: Well, this story all came about because of a lovely author here who goes by the penname stevieLUVSAlex, if you aren't familiar with her work please check it out! stevieLUVSAlex and I tossed around some ideas and decided to co-author a story and this is our brain child. Thanks so much stevieLUVSAlex, this wouldn't have been possible without you!

A/N 2: Thank you so much for the reviews, alerts and favorites! They mean the world to us!

Disclaimer: Still unable to claim Bones as my own.

Her phone vibrated heralding an incoming text.

Bones I know … I'm here when you're ready. We will catch these bastards and make them pay. I promise. B

Brennan smiled and hit closed, on the window she'd been working on, never noticing she'd hit send as well as save.

Booth looked up when he heard the familiar beep of the computer indicating that he had a new message. With the click of his mouse, he pulled up his email box, and smiled when he saw that the email had come from Brennan. It wasn't often, if ever that he received an email from her, she was more of a face-to-face when speaking than using the technology of a computer.

He frowned when he saw an attachment of what was entitled "Journal" he clicked on it, and waited for the upload. It came into a word document and his frowned deepened considerably as his eyes scanned across the page, his stomach churning at his name.

Journal,

This was Booth's first case back after his brain surgery, and I am afraid I am beginning to understand him less and less. It seems he reflects one thing in his mind, but his actions prove to the contrary and it confuses me. Booth announced something tonight. He told me he loved me, before he added "in an atta-girl way" I responded to him, in the same words, but I feel foolish for doing so. I do not even grasp the content of what the words mean, let alone feel them too.

I harbor feelings for him; of this I have no doubt. But what kind of feelings, remain undetected?

I could have sworn that Booth meant more than what he said, almost as if he were covering up his main objective. Had he lacked the faith, or belief in my response? Was he afraid I would reject him? I'm not even sure I wouldn't do exactly that, only that his confusion has left me feeling the same way. I never was one to easily read a person easily as Booth seems to do; I am blunt in my speech, as Booth often tells me. I do not comprehend the want for mind games, and have no desire to change that about myself. It does not present a problem as yet, though Booth constantly informs me that I am tactless.

I suppose I should put in the effort to change that trait about myself.

Booth leaned back in the black swivel chair and folded his arms across his torso. He had certainly not expected that. He didn't understand why Brennan would send something like this, to him, without at least some kind of warning. It was unexpected. Why would she write a journal and send it to him? He was baffled. But his curiosity got the better of him, as he realized there was more than one journal entry, he dragged the mouse to click the next page, and read on. He noticed instantly that the journals had changed style, and seemed to be more of a diary to him than a journal entry.

Journal,

I don't want to work this case. I'm trying to be logical and rational and compartmentalize. The only times it's been this difficult to stay in control of my own emotions was when the Grave Digger had you, Booth and when I thought you were dead. Or when you were kidnapped by crazed men, any time I thought that it could be possible, I'd never see you again.

The way Marie carried herself … not Marie … if I focus on her I'll never be able to get through this … the victim, she's the victim. Watching that tape the pieces fell into place and it was just too much I couldn't breathe … I had to get out of there. I've never walked out before … that was horribly unprofessional. I'm sorry Booth … I just had to walk away.

The striations to the soles of the feet and the salt damage to the skin made sense. I know what she did … I've done it. I've never told anyone not you or Ange or anyone. Marie cut herself, on the soles of her feet where no one would see and then she soaked the wounds in saltwater to heal the damage. The unhealed fractures to her ribs and the damage to her heart all indicate signs of abuse. The way she moved not letting anything touch her back ….

You can do this you're Dr. Temperance Brennan. Just like you told Zach focus on the details … look past the victim. You can do this.

Booth leaned back in his chair, a sick churning in his stomach that felt like he was being molested by bees. He couldn't believe that Brennan would have ever resorted to self-harm. She seemed so together. It only proved to him that looks were deceiving. He knew that she had issues, of that no could deny, but to do that… he was stunned. Where had he been when she was at her lowest, when she had resorted to hurting herself just to feel something… whatever reason she did it… where was he when she needed him?

He felt like a failure.