Chapter Ten

The Three Ds

"Detection, Deflection, and Dead on prevention," said Phillip proudly in Harry's Defense Against the Dark Arts class.

"You know technically," said Hermione, "that last one-"

"Yes I know!" shouted Phillip. "I couldn't think of anything else that started with D."

"Well there is this nice Latin word," said Hermione. "It's di-"

"Moving on!" said Phillip quickly. "For the first part of the term we will be focusing on Detection,"

"Yeah," said Ron dully.

"There are dark wizards all around the world!" said Phillip dramatically. "You never know where they are though! There could even be one sitting right behind you!"

Ron turned around and saw Neville sitting behind him. "I never would have guessed."

"You can't turn your back on them for even a moment!" continued Phillip. "Ron, turn around and face forwards."

Ron started to turn around but saw Neville bending over to get something. Ron screamed and turned back to Neville.

"What's wrong?" Neville asked.

"You know," said Ron.

"Umm... No I don't."

"Why don't you sit in the front of the class Mr. Weasley?" asked Phillip.

"But then they're all behind me!"

"The odds are pretty low that there is a dark wizard in this class right now," said Hermione. "And even if there was, they probably wouldn't want to kill you."

"But there's still a chance!" shouted Ron.

"Dude!" said Harry. "I seriously doubt that anyone here is a dark wizard."

"Okay Harry, if you say so," said Ron.

"You trust Harry more than me?!" Hermione asked.

"Hermione," said Ron, "this is Harry! You know, the chosen one."

"Good point," said Harry.

"Ha!" shouted Ron. "I made a good point! One point for Ron!"

"Ooh! One point," said Hermione sarcastically. "Look at Ron! He's a genius! He has one point! Let's not forget the hundreds of points that I make on a daily basis!"

"That's different Hermione," said Ron, "you are a genius! You're expected to make good points. If I make a good point, it's worth a celebration."

"So are you implying that stupid people should get more credit than smart people?"

"Basically."

"Well in that case, I bet you're going to make a fine Minister of Magic some day."

"Hey!" said Phillip. "The Minister of Magic makes good points all the time. At least once a week."

"That is good," said Ron. "I should strive to be more like the Minister."

"Even though he intentionally tries to discredit Harry and actively encourages Voldemort to try to take over?" asked Hermione.

"Good point Hermione," said Harry.

"Ha!" shouted Hermione. "My point cancels out your point Ron!"

"Foiled again!" said Ron.

Severus peeked into the class. "Did someone say foil?"

Albus burst in. "Did they say toil, as in, toil-et paper? Because I could really use some right now!"

Severus, along with the rest of the class, slapped their foreheads.

Albus, Severus and Tom walked slowly over to the Defense against the Dark Arts classroom for their detention.

"He lives in the classroom?" Albus asked.

"All the teachers do," said Severus.

"They all live in the Defense against the Dark Arts class room?!" asked Albus in astonishment.

Tom opened his mouth to make a funny comment, but remembered that he wasn't friends with Albus anymore so he closed his mouth.

"These dark corridors always scare me at night," said Albus.

As they came up to the classroom door, it opened by itself.

"It's alive!" shouted Albus in alarm.

"Come in," said a sinister voice from inside.

Albus, Severus and Tom froze. Phillip poked his head out.

"Ha! I scared you! You should have seen the look on your faces!"

"Listen punk!" said Tom angrily. "There's a reason that I'm in detention, and it would be most unfortunate if you should find out why."

"I thought it was because you yelled at Madam Hooch," said Albus.

Tom slapped his forehead.

"What will our unfair punishment be?" Severus asked.

"You will help me organize my office," replied Phillip.

"That sounds easy," said Albus.

Phillip led the trio into his office. Boxes and boxes were piled up to the ceiling. Random objects lay on the ground and every available surface. The room was absolutely and utterly filled with TONS of stuff.

"Basically I need all this stuff put somewhere organized and convenient," said Phillip. "Good luck! I'll be in the library if you need me."

Phillip walked out of the room.

The trio stood in awe at the grand enigma that lay before them.

"Well," said Albus cheerily as he reached for the first box, "this isn't gonna get done on it's own! Whistle while you work! De-da-do-do-do... I can't remember the rest."

Tom and Severus both looked at each other.

"Come on everyone!" shouted Albus. "Sing along! Just a spoon full of sugar helps the polyjuice go down, the polyjuice go dooown, the polyjuice go down. Just a spoon full of sugar helps the polyjuice go down, in the most delightful way!"

Tom and Severus both grumbled and started unpacking boxes.

After several hours of organizing Phillip's Dark Detectors, Chocolate Frog cards, bobblehead collection of every member of the Ministry of Magic, and the life-sized cardboard cut out of the Minister of Magic, they hadn't even gotten a fourth of the way done.

"Hey Severus," whispered Tom, "you know, I think Albus is out to get me."

Severus looked over at Albus who was trying to get his head out of a boot.

"What do you mean?" Severus asked.

"Do you remember today in transfiguration when we were trying to turn our pillows into bricks?"

"Distinctly," said Severus.

"Good. And do you remember when Albus 'accidentally' nearly hit me with his spell?"

"Yes."

"I think he's trying to bump me off so that no one will be able to stop him from taking over the school."

"I never would have expected it," said Severus dully.

"You see?! That's how he wants it! I bet he's been plotting against us from the start! But you're on my side. Right?"

"Of course."

"Good, because I have a job for you."

"Ooh, how could I resist?"

"Oh shut up! Look I need you to spy on Albus for me."

"Albus seems to be the type who proudly announces what he's doing to the whole school."

"I want you to find out how he's going to take over the school, and then report back to me."

"Yes master." said Severus sarcastically "Just one question though-"

"Yes you can help him get his head out of the boot."

"No not that. Are you planning on taking over the school too?"

"Well duh! Anything Albus can do I can do too."

"Okay..."

Severus walked over to Albus and proceeded to yank the boot off of his head.

"I'm back!" shouted Albus.

"Indeed," said Severus.

"Goobers!"

"What?"

"Look, goobers."

Severus looked over at a book that said 'Goblins' on the front.

"That confirms it," said Severus.

"What?" Albus asked.

"Never mind. Look, Tom seems to think that you want to take over the school."

"That's a great idea!"

"That's not the point! Tom thinks that because you want to do it, which you don't, that he should too."

"That's terrible! We can't both take over the school! There's no way that I'm sharing it with him!"

"Well then," said Severus, "in order for you to be able to take over the school properly, we need to first stop Tom."

"Good idea! But how do we do that?"

"Tom thinks that I'm spying on you for him, so I'll just give him some wrong clues."

"You're a genius!"

"About what?" Tom asked from across the room.

"For... umm... helping him out of the boot!" said Severus quickly.

Just then Phillip walked back in. "I guess that you couldn't get it all done. Oh well, I'll just do it on my own."

"No need!" said Albus as he raised his wand and made everything unpack and organize itself.

"And why couldn't you have done that from the start?!" demanded Tom.

"Done what?" asked Albus stupidly.