Massage Therapist

"Good morning, Master Obi Wan," Anikan Skywalker greeted. "A fine morning isn't it?"

"Yes it is, Anakin. Where is your Padawan?"

"I thought she was with you," the younger man replied. "She left a note on her door saying you were going to do some advanced training."

"Training? She's your student. You're responsible for her training, not me."

"Something is very wrong," Skywalker observed. "This is the fourth time this month she's been late. She seems to be doing whatever she wants rather than what I tell her."

Kenobi chuckled. "It seems she is learning to be more and more like you every day."

Anakin just offered an insulted expression.

"I suggest you go look for her," Obi Wan told his former Padawan. "Since she is your student you are responsible for her whereabouts."

"I don't need to be reminded of that fact."

Suddenly the two Jedi heard a familiar, female voice echoing down the halls of the Temple. "OW!"

"There she is," Anakin commented. "And boy is she going to be in deep trouble."

The Ahsoka's voice cried out, "What are you doing? HEY! OW! Didn't you hear me? STOP!"

"Quickly, Anakin. Ahsoka sounds like she is in deep trouble already," Kenobi observed. The two Jedi raced down the corridor following Tano's voice which became more desperate as they got closer to its source. "She's in there."

Anakin opened the sliding door and found his Padawan lying on a bed with a Separatist Battle Droid hovering menacingly over her. "Ahsoka!"

She looked up, shocked. "Master?!"

"Oh hi," the battle droid greeted pleasantly enough. "Just take a seat, I'll get to you in a moment."

"No you won't," Anakin roared angrily, grabbing his weapon and lunging. "Get away from her!"

"Master, no!" Ahsoka shouted.

"Anakin, stop," Obi Wan pleaded.

"Wha-? No-o, wait," the battle droid cried. "It's not what you AAAAHH!"

SHHRRAAAAAACKK! Skywalker attacked, slicing the battle droid in half with a single swipe of his lightsaber. The Jedi holstered his deactivated weapon and stood tall, puffing out his chest as if most pleased with himself for having saved his Padawan from a terrible fate. "Ahsoka, are you…"

"What were you thinking?!" Ahsoka shouted at her master. She then motioned to the destroyed battle droid and yelled, "Anakin, look what you did?"

"Uh… Ahsoka, are you naked under that towel?" Obi Wan asked, averting his eyes and feeling a bit embarrassed.

"Yes! Now turn around!" Ahsoka rolled out of the bed and wrapped herself in a full length robe while preparing to furiously address the two men who had just barged into this room. "It's always the same," she grumbled. "Lousy, stupid, brainless…"

As that was happening, a door on the far side of the room opened and in strolled Republic Senator Padme Amidala. She was likewise dressed in only a thick robe and was humming to herself. "Oh this is going to feel good," she declared between the bars of the song she was reciting. Then, upon looking up, she spied the intruders. "Anakin? Obi Wan? Yeep!" She quickly grabbed the sides of the robe and pulled them even closer, suddenly feeling very naked in the presence of the two male Jedi Masters. "What are you doing here? Ahsoka, what happened to our droid?"

Ahsoka shot up her arm and pointed furiously at Anakin Skywalker, gesticulating as she did. "He did it," the Togruta growled. "Anakin barged right in here and started swinging his lightsaber around, as usual, without asking questions. He cut the droid in half and then started preening like the all-conquering hero."

"Ahsoka. That thing…, I don't preen!"

"Oh yes you do, Anakin," Obi Wan told him, almost as if scolding the boy. "I've warned you about it on several occasions."

"Hey, whose side are you on, anyway?" Anakin replied, feeling a bit abandoned. "Never mind. Ahsoka, that thing was about to kill you," Anakin roared, addressing his Padawan. "Didn't you notice the battle droid standing right next to you?"

"Yes! And do you know how long it took to reprogram him?"

"Reprogram?" Kenobi asked. "Program him for what?"

Both Ahsoka and Padme stared at the two Jedi, incredulous. Then they both shouted in unison, "MASSAGE THERAPIST!"

Padme was particularly upset once she was caught up. "Ugh. Anakin Skywalker, you are just like every other silly little boy in the galaxy, always thinking with your tiny lightsaber first and asking questions later."

"Yes, that does seem to be Anakin's strong suit," Kenobi joked.

"Massage therapist?" Anakin said, scratching his head. "Ahsoka, why do you need a massage therapist?"

"Because after a long campaign on the front lines I need something to help me relieve stress and CALM! DOWN!" she answered, shouting at him even louder. "But then you came in here and…and…NNNGGGAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"Exactly," Padme cut in, agreeing with her partner in crime. "You two boys might get along fine with Jedi meditations, slicing up battle droids on the battlefield or playing shoot'em up in space, but women are different. We need more than just sitting around and chanting. A good massage can do wonders to heal the mind and the body. And now thanks to you neither one of us is going to get any relief."

"What happened to our massage therapy sessions?" another voice interrupted.

"And what are they doing here?" a fourth asked.

Anakin and Obi Wan looked over and spotted both Master Aayla Secura of the Jedi Council and Riyu Chuchi, Republic Senator from the planet Pantora. They had entered the room through the same door as Senator Amidala. Master Secura took one look at the sliced battle droid and one look at Anakin and immediately deduced the rest. "I see Anakin leapt before thinking again."

"Hey!" Skywalker protested.

"What was your first clue?" Kenobi joked once again, needling his former student.

"Let me guess, he was also preening afterwards?" Secura added.

"I wasn't preening!" Anakin shouted.

"Oh you most certainly were, Anakin," Ahsoka replied.

"Since when?"

"Since you first destroyed that droid control ship over Naboo," Padme reminded him. "You've been full of yourself ever since." She wanted to add that he tended to preen and strut after sex as well, but their marriage was a secret. Thus she kept her silence on the matter.

"Hey, I was just a little boy," Anakin answered in his own defense.

"Yes, well it seems some things never change," Obi Wan chortled.

"What the preening or that he's still a little kid?" Ahsoka asked of Master Kenobi.

"BOTH!" Kenobi and Secura answered together.

"Hey, hey, hey, when did this become about me?" Anakin cut in, feeling a bit put upon.

"It became about you when you hacked up my massage droid," Ahsoka cried, reminding him of his transgressions. "Didn't you read the sign by the door? Oh, no, you didn't, otherwise you wouldn't be in here."

"Sign? What sign?" Skywalker asked.

"The one that says, 'Therapy In Session, Keep Out,'" Kenobi answered. "It was right next to the door if you had taken a moment to look."

"I didn't see it," Anakin barked, "besides, I thought Ahsoka was in trouble. I heard her calling for help."

"No, you heard me enjoying a deep tissue massage. A massage I'll never finish because of you, you… you… YOU NERF HERDER!"

Senator Chuchi gasped, "Oh dear, she is very cross with him, isn't she?"

Aayla Secura nodded. "Very much."

"Hey, don't get personal," Anakin scolded, "I'm still your master."

"Yes, and as her master it is up to you to show some responsibility in this matter," Kenobi instructed.

"How, exactly," Anakin replied, hoping to put his former master on the spot. However, Kenobi was up to the task.

"You'll just have to be Ahsoka's masseuse until she can reprogram another battle droid," Kenobi told him with much amusement.

"WHAT!?"

"Don't worry, Anakin, I'll explain your absence to the Council. Goodbye."

"Oh no you don't, Master Kenobi," Padme yelled, calling Obi Wan out. "This is as much your fault as Anakin's."

"I beg your pardon," he said, confused and incredulous.

"Skywalker was your Padawan, was he not?" Aayala Secura noted. "You were responsible for training Anakin, including how to be patient, mindful of his surroundings and to control his temper. And based on our current situation I would say you failed."

"Hey, that's right," Ahsoka said, "he almost got away with that one. Ooooh, he's a sneaky one."

"And what do you suggest I do?" Kenobi asked, now trying to put Aayla on the spot.

The four girls just looked at each other and smiled.

~O~

"HEY, OW! Anakin, you're doing it wrong," Ahsoka yelled.

"I'm a Jedi, not a masseuse," he yelled back. "And I'm your master so how do I end up massaging your back?"

Ahsoka just shot him the most infuriated look. Anakin instantly backed down, he had seen that look before from Padme. It sent chills down his spine and pierced through every level of Jedi training and armor he could muster. That look, it just frightened him. Good grief, does every girl in the galaxy know that look, he asked himself. "Okay, okay."

"Anakin, just follow what's in the instruction book and you'll be fine," Kenobi assured

"Ooh, Master Kenobi, you have such wonderful hands," Padme cooed, much to Anakin's irritation.

"Yes, well, I did… uh… have some practice when I was younger," he carefully spoke.

"What?"

"You?"

"Obi Wan was young? Who'd of thunk it?"

"Very funny," he mocked.

Not wanting to suffer alone, Anakin chirped up. "It was Duchess Satine, wasn't it?"

"Anakin! That was a private conversation!"

Padme turned over to face the man massaging her back, "You once had a relationship with Duchess Satine? Of Mandalore?"

Obi Wan just blushed and furrowed his brow. "I don't like to talk about it."

"Well, you're only human, Master Obi Wan," Padme told him as she rolled back. "We all need a little love and companionship in our lives. Even Jedi."

"HEY WATCH YOUR HANDS, BUSTER!" Ahsoka shouted at Anakin.

"Sorry, it slipped."

"Yeah, sure, your hands just happened to slip up my Togruta butt," she grumbled. "Boys, they never change."

"Now look here, Little One," Anakin yelled at Ahsoka. "You should consider yourself lucky I'm in such good humor today. I have half a mind to put you over my knee and give you a good spanking."

Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to eye Anakin Skywalker when he spoke those words.

"Uh…, that didn't come out right," he said, backpedaling.

Obi Wan shook his head in disgrace and then offered the younger man some advice. "Anakin, you're deep enough as it is. Now shut up and keep massaging."

"Yeah, Anakin. Massage. Not spank," Ahsoka scolded him.

"Master Skywalker can spank me anytime," Padme whispered. This caused Obi Wan to nearly swallow his own tongue. "Oops, heheh," she laughed nervously, "did I say that out loud?"